not even wonder if we were to be told, that Ministers of State ought to be chosen from the most unfit, rash, low, and tricking part of the community.

As to the army, I see, or think I see, some advantages attending the Noble Lord's new plan. We shall be able at all times to supply deficiencies in regiments merely by emptying the jails, and a commission of oyer and terminer will be a very wholesome mode of increasing our disposable force. The parties to be en listed can surely have no objection, for who would hesitate between a halter and musket, especially when told that the best qualification for the latter is badnessof character?

What an inviting prospect !-Thieves, robbers, highwaymen, housebreakers, footpads, and pickpockets!Who more desperate?-Who more fit for modern expeditions, for attacking the helpless, and for every species of plunder, than men who have been regularly bred to the art, and have taken their degrees at every Court of Justice in the kingdom?

Then think of the expense saved-what an instance of economy, to strike off the whole Volunteer system at one blow; for the Volunteers, being in general com posed of the moral, decent, and respectable part of the community, must of course be very improper men to carry arms. We shall get rid, likewise, of the whole: establishment of regimental chaplains; for it would be ridiculous to retain men as reformers of profligacy, in a service where profligacy is the only requisite. I hope, too, that the Society for distributing Bibles and religious books in the army will take a hint and dissolve themselves, or give their books to some persons who may not be injured by them..

The new corps will have peculiar advantages in captures. They are of all men most addicted to taking things, and when compelled to fly, no men have a bappier knack in eluding pursuit. Besides, they have

this.

this grand feature of the new moralists, that where they are set upon an object, they have no scruple as to the means, and success is always a complete justification.

I would not, however, wish the gentlemen of the Jaw to suppose, that their occupation will be interrupted by this mode of recruiting the army from the jails.Trials must go on as before, to prevent any innocent persons from getting into the army under false pre-tences. None but those who are "tried, cast, and condemned," must be admitted. Nor need our jailors be alarmed for their business. The longer that any of the gentry fit to serve are kept in prison, the more they will be qualified to answer the description which has lately been given of persons who alone ought to compose the armies of a nation fighting for its religion.

I am, Sir, yours,

A JAIL-BIRD.

SIR,

THE

THE MAN OF LETTERS.

[From the same.]

HE following lines were dropped in one of the apartments, during Mr. Miles Peter Andrews's splendid fête last Wednesday; and are sent to you for your insertion, by your humble servant,

Temple, 31st March.

SALTPETRE.

"Why didst thou wish a Senator to be?"-
"To M. P. A. that I might add M. P."--
"Right-t is the only way among thy betters
To be consider'd as a man of letters."

ON THE CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER'S
MOTION,

MADE THE 1ST APRIL 1808, ENFORCING A CERTI
FICATE TO BE TAKEN OUT TO KILL SNIPES.

SIN

[From the same, April 4.]

INCE time out of mind, O ye Snipes, 't was the way,
For wit to be scatter'd on April's first day;

- Rest assur'd that the Chancellor still meant the same,
When last night of us all he was pleas'd to make Game.
April 1, 1808.
A JACK SNIPE.

THE FACETIOUS SECRETARY.

[From the same, April 6.]

THE public may perceive, from some late transactions, that our Ministers are not quite so happy or so secure in their places as they could wish. And as they have not been able to conceal their mortifications, they have no doubt afforded as much cause of uneasiness to their friends, as of triumph to their enemies, if there are any persons weak enough to view them in that light. It is agreed on all hands, that they do not at present repose on that bed of roses which they left, and that while they are not indisposed to fall out with one another, they are yet more willing, if they knew how, to fall out with those who put them in.

Amidst all their dilemmas, however, they have an abundant source of comfort in the wonderful facetiousness of the Foreign Secretary, who having no business connected with his own department, and not one power in Europe who will exchange repartees with him, has turned the whole artillery of his wit against the Opposition, and when threatened to be invaded by law, precedent, authority, and argument, makes a diversion upon the risible muscles, and a most gallant retreat in a roar of laughter.

Nothing

Nothing can afford a more decided proof of the submissive harmony that now reigns among his brethren, than that they betray no symptoms of jealousy, that they allow him the entire monopoly of joking, and that they would even cordially join in the burst, but that "their habits of gravity have long unfitted them for comprehending any thing of the kind. The profound attention, therefore, of Lord Hawkesbury to the state of affairs in Paris, Lord Castlereagh's deep study of figures and calculations, and Lord Mulgrave's sentimental and feeling turn of mind, are all in his fayour; while the Chancellor of the Exchequer cannot, in equity, be supposed to hazard a bon-mot, while the Protestant Religion is endangered in Northamptonshire.

All wits are agreed, that one of the indispensable qualifications of a jest is, that it be well-timed. What time, therefore, so proper for turning serious matters into ridicule as the present, and what people so disposed to join in the laugh as the people of England at the present crisis? But while we felicitate the facetious Secretary on this pleasant mode of getting rid of his enemies, we cannot help wishing that he would so far permit the Orders in Council to be relaxed, as to send some of his good things to France, Russia, Germany, Denmark, and perhaps America. If he could but tickle the fancies of those powers into the terms of a reasonable peace, we should think he had gained a better conquest than in convulsing the small circle where he at present employs his wit. But hitherto, whether it be that the embargo prevents the exportation of his jests, or that they are incapable of being translated, certain it is, Bonaparte has not been prevailed upon to relax a single feature; and that amongst all the news we receive from every part of the Continent, there is neither a roar of laughter, a burst of applause, nor even the social chuckle and shaking of sides, which betoken the return of good humour.

EPIGRAM.

EPIGRAM.

[From the Morning Post.].

BRITANNIA's boast, her glory and her pride,
PITT, in his country's service, lived and died-
Fully resolv'd at last with Pitt to vie,
For once to serve his country-Fox did die.

IN

PSEUDO-EPIGRAM.

[From the Oracle, April 7.]

As

Na Morning Paper of last week we observed a thing inserted, intituled "an Epigram *" we had seen it before, we could not help lamenting, that the Editor had, most malignantly and unfairly towards the poor author, left out the two last lines, which our readers well know, in almost every case, contain the essence and point of this description of poem, and are, of course, invaluable.

In justice to the injured writer, we reprint the Epigram, with the two lines, of which he had been so unjustly deprived.

EPIGRAM AS ALREADY PRINTED.

"Britannia's boast, her glory and her pride,

Pitt, in his country's service, liv'd and died—
Fully resolv'd at last with Pitt to vie,

For once to serve his country-Fox did die !"

The following two lines were omitted by the Editor of the Morning Paper in question, with the worst pos

sible intent :

"Yet mourn not, Britain-Jenky 's left behind,

And Old George Rose remains to save mankind!"

See the preceding article..

THE