But Nancy's iv'ries, oh, how clean! And then her breath is sweet as roses; Nor aught more straight than Nancy's nose is: My pretty roguish black-ey'd Nancy! Your sloe-black eyes, But squinting Peg's I ne'er can fancy! SOUND MAXIMS. "IF ordinary beggars are whipped, the daily beggars in fine clothes, out of a proportionable respect for their quality, ought to be hanged.”—Marquis of Halifax.-There are two other maxims of this nobleman, which are quite to the purpose:-" Arbitrary power is like most other things that are very hard-they are also very apt to break."-" A people may let a King fall, yet still remain a people; but if a King let his people slip from him, he is no longer a King." CREED OF TONGA. THE people of Tonga believe, that "there is no future place of existence for the souls of men, but Bolotoo, and consequently no state of future punishment; all rewards for virtue and punishment for vice being inflicted on mankind in this world. When Mr. Mariner acquainted some of them with the Christian doctrine of eternal punishment, they said that "it was very bad indeed for the Papalangies"-(that is, the white people.) See "Mariner's Account of the Tonga Islands." IRISH JARS. John Cochrane was charged with bating and ill-trating Ann, the wife of Mr. John Gee. John Cochrane is a knight of the hod-and a cleaner made fellow never trotted along a plank. He is, moreover, extramely hardworking and prudent-for an Irishman; and these good qualities got him a nice little wife some three or four months ago Kathleen; own cousin, by the mother's side, to Mr. John Gee's brother-in-law, and hinc illæ lacrymæ (as the classicals says)—for Mr. John Gee is "an army kouterment maker," and of course he felt very much annoyed that his brother-inlaw's own cousin, by the mother's side, should throw herself away upon a bricklayer's labourer. Mrs. Anne Gee deposed, that on Wednesday night, Misther Cochrane came to her house, and challenged her husband, Mr. John Gee, to come out of it and be bate; that a great crowd of his folks come with him to see the bating, and there was a great botheration in the street about it; that she fastened up her husband in his own place, because he should not go out to be bate, and went out herself to try to persuade John Cochrane to be aizy; that John Cochrane swore "Be th' powers," that he would not be aizy at all; and that upon her resisting his entrance into the house, he bate her, and upset her, and molished her." John Cochrane," said the Magistrate, "what have you to say in excuse?"—"Fait, your Honour, a great dale!" replied John. Then, turning to Mrs. Anne Gee, he addressed her thus: "Answer to me, Misthress Gee, if you plaze. Wasn't ye houldin up ye're heads becaze meself and Kathleen got to be man and wife without axing ye? Wasn't ye telling it everywhere, that meself was married in borrow'd clothes, and that Kathleen coudn't go to the bed that same night for want of the shemaze?"-To all these questions, Mrs. Anne Gee answered boldly, "No-I did not."-" Faith, then, ye'll say any thing, Misthress Gee-like the man that owns ye!" rejoined John." But what have you to say to the charge of assault, John?" said the Magistrate; "how came you to forget yourself so far as to beat a woman?""Be the powers! your Honour, it isn't meself that 'ud be after bating the woman -barrin she was her husband! She tuk the poker to bate me with it, your Honour; and by the same token she did!" John was committed to the custody of the gaoler, until he should find bail for his appearance at the Quarter Sessions. AMOUNT RECEIVED ON THE BENEFIT FOR THE FAMILY OF THE LATE THE extraordinary overflow of Covent-garden Theatre, on the night of the benefit for the Wife and Family of poor Emery, is unprecedented; the following account may be relied upon : 1050 Box tickets, at 78. each 220 Pit ditto, at 3s. 6d. Money received at the doors £367 10 0 38 10 0 537 10 0 £943 10 p MOORE'S IRISH MELODIES TRAVESTIE. No. IX. Air-"Come send round the wine, and leave points of belief.". COME send round the wine, and leave plans of reform In the den of corruption we fatten and swarm, Your place may be easy, and mine may be hard; But while the cash comes from the Treasury chest, Shall I ask the old fogie, who sits by my side To us 'tis all one whether Catholic Peers Get into the House or for ever stay out; And as for the Radicals, we have no fears, Though they bawl for retrenchment and kick up a rout. Then feather your nests well, and push round the bowl, Success to TAXATION! that magical word Is the true source of plenty, and sheds o'er the soul Of a placeman more joy than aught else can can afford. CONJUGAL DELIGHTS. MRS. Matilda Juliana Huggurstony, accompanied by Mr. Christopher Huggurstony, complained to the Magistrate that she had been cruelly beaten by her own brother, one Mr. Harry Beany; who, he said, had taken an intipithy to her, because she had married a German gentleman sixty-seven years old, instead of an English one! and, unfortunately, her husband, Mr. Christopher Huggurstony, was so far advanced in life, that he could not protect her from her brother's violence. She said her father and her brother were proud because they had got a little money in the world, and were mad at her for marrying Mr. Huggurstony though a better husband, in his way, never nó woman need to have. But that, she said, was neither here nor there; for, if she hadn't had him, she might have had no husband at all, and half a loaf was better than no bread. They managed things comfortably enough, only her father and brother would never let them alone come what would; and on Thursday night, her brother, Harry Beany, laughing as he stood there, came up into her 'partment, got her down on the floor, mollished her best cap to rags, expressed such expressions as wasn't lawful for her to express, and she verily thought he would have skroudged the life out of her, if she had not took up a knife to defend herself with, which knife was nothing more nor a bit of wood, because she "vorks at the vax," &c. The Magistrate censured her for using a knife, and desired to see it. Mrs. Huggurstony produced it in |