the High-street after a certain hour, without silk stockings and a white tie. Now there is not a bit of white cambric muslin worn except by the Dons. To me the sight of a stock is very annoying-it gives me an unpleasant notion of animal oil, which must accumulate in large quantities in a stock worn without cessation for three months: I hate a stock, and such stocks as they invent now. It is not more than six weeks since that a man called upon me for leave to go out in a buggy— which meant a tandem, of course-in a green satin abomination, embroidered with gold flowers-a thing with a waterfall front—a cascade of satin-in which were stuck two pins as big as marlin-spikes, connected together by a chain-cable. I of course refused him leave-I hate vulgarity in dress. I don't object to a plain black neckcloth in a morning, but I do wish to see the restoration of muslin for the evening." "These then," said I, "and other little annoyances, which I will not weary you to remember and record, were the causes of your illness ?"

"The primary causes, certainly-aggravated by what I am now convinced is the unfair manner in which I have been treated by Dr. Gallipot Galen, who has evidently been using my person as a subject to be experimented upon, in order to prove the truth of his ridiculous theory. I'll throw physic to the dogs, I'll have none on't." My term of office soon expires-I shall abdicate with great pleasure-make my last dying speech in the Apodyterium, and return to inglorious ease in the old family mansion at Frumpleigh."

66

Speech?" I inquired.

"Yes-speech-a Latin speech," said Fortescue, with a look such as I conceive may be given by a real lunatic-asylum maniac. "I may as well confess it at once-the idea of having to write and deliver that Latin speech before a mass of unfeeling, in full-practice' critics, has been the real cause-the final cause of my nearly premature decease. Only the day before yesterday was the incubus removed from my mind. I had been practising in secret-trying every style from the pure Ciceronian and the cramped Livian, down to the simplicity of Cornelius Nepos and Phædrus's fables, and all without the smallest approach to an imitation. I was in despair. As a St. Mark's man, I could not allow that I was incapable of performing the task, though I had not written a Latin sentence for five or six years. I dreaded exposing myself to the society to which I belong I thank my family star." (it could not have been the Georgium Sidus, thought I, for that is a new one) "my difficulties were removed in a miraculous manner." I looked an inquiry, and Fortescue whispered,

"I don't mind telling you-masonically of course. Since my illness I have been unable to shave myself-our college barber operated upon me until I could not bear it any longer-he sups off onions nightly. The day before yesterday, I dismissed him, and sent my scout to procure a fresh man. He came a very nice young man indeed." thought to astonish him.

"Heus puer 'said I, 'remove meam barbam.' To answered,

"In oculi nictu.'

"You understand Latin? said I.

I

my surprise he

"Yes, sir; and Greek too. My father, old Chops, the stammering barber of St. Peter's, put me to a good school, in order that I might be able to increase the rem domesticam of the Chops's by writing impositions for the young men.'

"I ordered him to lock the door. We soon came to an understanding and terms, and-and-I've got the DOCUMENT! My mind is relieved, and now good bye to Dr. Gallipot Galen." "One more question," said I; "for what specific purpose did you summon me up to college?"

"Look here," said Fortescue, lifting up the lid of a large box, and disclosing a mass of MS. papers. "During my idle hours, I have been collecting and scribbling down every anecdote and story I could hear or remember, a sort of Proctor's Note-book you may call it: they are yours. I as a St. Mark's man, cannot of course become an authorthough I am sorry to see that many, even of the oldest families, condescend to take a publisher's money, and see their names advertised in three vols., at one pound ten and sixpence, to the great detriment of many who, like yourself, with invalid wives, and I don't know how many children, depend for their support partly on the spilling of ink. Take them, and make what use of them you please-only don't say I did them."

I thanked him sincerely, as I saw a vision of Henry Hases floating over them, every one of which promised a due supply of shoes and frocks to my little ones.

I have looked them over and so arranged them, that I shall be able to present one little historiette or anecdote to my readers in each succeeding number. I object to continuations as much as the gentleman did, who kicked his tailor down stairs for offering to make him a pair of green trousers to match his coat. I shall ramble too in my subjects, for I dislike being confined as much as any lady does, who prefers dancing before the discharge of her domestic duties.

Reader are you interested in the fate of Fortescue Frumpleigh of St. Mark's?

He was killed before his time by seeing a member of a very old family" in his neighbourhood, come to a ball in a cutaway coat, boots, and a light-blue stock.

COUNTRY towns are daily losing their physiognomy. The surface becomes smoother and smoother, like that of our current coin, till by the evenness of the superficies, the value is lessened. Mail-coaches did much, and railroads are doing more, to destroy all local characteristics and distinctions. The two capitals of the sister kingdoms are divided by only four-and-twenty hours each, from the great metropolis; and the interstitial towns, now that they receive the gossip of London wet from the press, and new fashions and new follies bright from the mint, have flung aside those quaint old garments of individuality, which rendered Winchester as different from York, as Chester from all other cities of the United Kingdom.

It may be doubted whether they alter for the better. A man may cease to be the yeoman without becoming the gentleman. Superficial polish is often acquired, when the nature is not intrinsically improved. The heartiness of the country disappears, but the politeness of the capital lags behind.

The common run of towns resemble a blunt razor,- —or a single-barrelled gun, or a sailing-packet, or any other antediluvian thing which, instead of beguiling the time, by looking like the time, looks like times better forgotten. Its society is a shoal of minnows, among which the most moderate fish becomes a Triton. Accustomed to receive its laws and opinions, like its ribbons and other manufactured goods, from London, if you ask a question, people are as slow in answering as if waiting the arrival of the coach to make up their minds.

A century ago, ere roads and newspapers had established an electric chain betwixt the capital and her satellites, every country town was the capital of its province, as in France at the present day; and the substantial old mansion-houses now figuring as boarding-schools and manufactories, attest that, aforetime, the winter migration of the

squirearchy extended no further than the limits of their shire. The wealth thus concentrated brought refinement and progress. Now, all who have money to spend, spend it in London; and country towns are consequently restricted to a secondary order of civilisation.

The great manufacturing towns are distinguished by a certain flashiness of taste, in addition to their smoke, noise, and unwholesomelooking population.

The cathedral towns pretend to higher gentility,-are blue and scandalous, addicted to whist and green tea.

Garrison towns are gay and flirtacious, inclining to theatricals, and boasting a capital circulating library. But the genuine country town. is the one that hath neither Canon nor cannon,-neither black coats nor red,-neither a barrack nor cathedral close ;-nor even a manufactory, beyond a slender steam-engine chimney or two, starting up, like asparagus running to seed, in the suburbs ;-or perhaps a few mills, half hidden among the shallows of an unnavigable river.

Such a spot is the true Castle of Indolence, a place where, as in the hearts of the restored Bourbons, nothing has been learned, nothing forgotten;-whose horizon is so bounded that you cannot turn round within its limits without knocking your head against a prejudice; and where, like Lightfoot in the fairy tale, you must tie your legs together not to outrun the rest of the community.

On first installing yourself in such a region, you are surprised to find, by some species of optical delusion, all great objects diminish in importance, and all trifling ones expand. You lose sight of the rest of Europe, but the next parish becomes vast as Savoy or Portugal. You cease to conjecture whether the death of Metternich will operate any influential change in the constitutions of Austria; but become suddenly convulsed with curiosity to know why Mr. Spriggins has suspended the improvements at his villa. A gradual torpor seizes upon your intellects. Art, science, intelligence, refinement, glide out of sight, like spectres at cockcrow; and the immaterial gives place to matter of fact. All the illusions of civilisation vanish like the baseless fabric of a vision !

At the close of a month, you have become acclimatised. Your optics have adapted themselves to their new focus. You have learned not only the date of the church, and the fact that a very curious old gateway once stood on the site of the present town-hall; but to admit the infallibility of the Pope of the place, and are convinced that there is no need for you to give up the ghost under fourscore years of age, so long as that able man Dr. Green and his gig are in circulation in the parish.

Shall I ever forget my sojourn at Welstanton! It was like creeping back into the pages of Richardson! The formalities-the littlenesses -the monsterings of nothings-the waste of interjections where everything else was charily hoarded-the upturning and downcasting of eyes whenever anything was done or said differing from the sayings and doings of the day before! Before I quitted it, I had begun to consider robbing a henroost an enormity, and short whist an act of profligacy demanding the intervention of the quarter-sessions.

It was a pretty town enough; situated on a hill-side sloping to a brook, which the county history politely termed a river; having a cheer