An' when she had made me swear
Not to tell, she give me some

'N' showed me where she kep' her gum.
Say, I'll bet I know what's meant

By "cap-pit-tul pun-ish-ment!"

Cleveland Leader.

"KEEP SWEET AND KEEP MOVIN”.”
Greeting! A message for the New Year. Contributed by the author.
Homely phrase of our southland bright-
Keep steady step to the flam of the drum;
Touch to the left-eyes to the right-

Sing with the soul tho' the lips be dumb.
Hard to be good when the wind's in the east;
Hard to be gay when the heart is down;
When "they that trouble you are increased,"
When you look for a smile and see a frown.
But

"Keep sweet and keep movin'."

Sorrow will shade the blue sky gray-
Gray is the color our brothers wore;
Sunshine will scatter the clouds away;
Azure will gleam in the skies once more.
Colors of Patience and Hope are they-
Always at even in one they blend;
Tinting the heavens by night and day,
Over our hearts to the journey's end.

Just

"Keep sweet and keep movin'."

Hard to be sweet when the throng is dense,
When elbows jostle and shoulders crowd;
Easy to give and to take offense

When the touch is rough and the voice is loud; "Keep to the right" in the city's throng; "Divide the road" on the broad highway; There's one way right when everything's wrong: "Easy and fair goes far in a day."

Just

"Keep sweet and keep movin'.”

The quick taunt answers the hasty word-
The lifetime chance for a "help" is missed;
The muddiest pool is a fountain stirred,

A kind hand clenched makes an ugly fist.
When the nerves are tense and the mind is vexed,
The spark lies close to the magazine;

Whisper a hope to the soul perplexed—
Banish the fear with a smile serene

Just

"Keep sweet and keep movin'."

Robert J. Burdette.

THE SALOON BAR.

A bar to Heaven, a door to Hell-
Whoever named it, named it well!
A bar to manliness and wealth,
A door to want and broken health.
A bar to honor, pride and fame,

A door to sin and grief and shame;
A bar to hope, a bar to prayer,
A door to darkness and despair.
A bar to honored, useful life,
A door to brawling, senseless strife;
A bar to all that's true and brave,
A door to every drunkard's grave.
A bar to joy that home imparts,
A door to tears and aching hearts;
A bar to Heaven, a door to Hell-
Whoever named it, named it well!

ON THE TWENTY-THIRD PSALM.

In "pastures green"? Not always; sometimes He
Who knoweth best, in kindness leadeth me
In weary ways, where heavy shadows be.

And by "still waters"? No, not always so;
Oft-times the heavy tempests round me blow,
And o'er my soul the waves and billows go.

But when the storms beat loudest, and I cry
Aloud for help, the Master standeth by,
And whispers to my soul, "Lo, it is I!"

So, where He leads me, I can safely go,
And in the blest hereafter I shall know
Why, in His wisdom, He hath led

Quoted by Henry H. Barry.

me so.

Author not given.

M. BOCHSA PLAYS THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER

M. Bochsa, the celebrated harpist, was a great wag. At a concert once given in Tremont Temple, he offered to play any air the audience might select, with embellishments and variations.

"You vill plees send me ze tune vot I sal play," he said. Half a dozen slips of paper were immediately sent to the platform.

"O Dolce Concento'-'Yankee Doodil'-(I know him vera well. I play him one, two, tree-several time! 'Groves o' Blarney'-'Yankee Doo-' (I have two 'Yankee Doodils'), 'Non piu festa'-'tres bien!""'

"Star Spangled Banner!" shouted somebody in the crowd.

"Vot you say?" inquired Bochsa.

"Star Spangled Banner!" Monsieur didn't understand.

"Ze zhentilman will plees step to ze front." The gentleman declined.

"If ze zhentilman cannot come to me, I must come to him," continued Bochsa.

A roar followed the announcement, pending which the stranger came forward amid applause. At the foot of the passage stood Monsieur gravely awaiting further explanation.

"Vot you say, sair?"

"The Star Spangled Banner, I want."

"Scar Strangled Bannair? aha! N'comprend, Monsieur."

"Not Scar Strangled, sir-Star Spangled Banner."

"Ze Bannaire-oui, I un'erstan'-ze flag!"
"Yes, yes-the flag of the United States."

"Yes saire! I remember him ver' mooch. Zat is, I do not recollec' him, 'zac'ly. Monsieur, you know him?" "Why, yes, to be sure-everybody knows the 'Star Spangled Banner!'"

"Tres bien, Monsieur! Every Yankee zhentilman vissel. You sal vissel him in my ear!"

Another shout from the audience; but the gentleman, not abashed, placed his mouth to Bochsa's ear, and whistled the "Star Spangled Banner" most philosophically, amid the convulsions of the audience, who could not find this scene on the bills of the evening.

"Tres bien, Monsieur!" shouted Bochsa; "elegant, superb! Monsieur, you von ver' fine musician. I sal play ze Scar Strangled Bannair vis mooch plaisir!"

Mounting the platform, he commenced with a grand introduction to the several themes proposed, following by highly finished and exquisitely-performed variations upon the melodies sent up, not forgetting the two "Yankee Doodils"-always a certain favorite.

Suddenly a crash of harmony leaped from the harpstrings, which took the audience by surprise. A pause followed, when the "Star Spangled Banner" was produced, with a most brilliant accompaniment, which "brought down the house."

Bochsa was satisfied, his friend and the audience were satisfied, and the great harpist left the stage (with a quiet smirk at the corner of his mouth) amid a perfect storm of applause. G. Fernald.