try; who, finding it a thriving and opulent colony, and that it promised to yield great profit, and no trouble, all at once became wonderfully anxious about its safety, and began to load it with tokens of regard, in the same manner that your knowing people are sure to overwhelm rich relations with their affection and loving-kindness. The usual marks of protection shown by mother countries to wealthy colonies were forthwith manifested--the first care always being to send rulers to the new settlement, with orders to squeeze as much revenue from it as it will yield. Accordingly, in the year of our Lord 1629, Mynheer WOUTER VAN TWILLER was appointed governor of the province of Nieuw-Nederlandts, under the commission and control of their High Mightinesses, the Lords States General of the United Netherlands, and the privileged West India Company. This renowned old gentleman arrived at NewAmsterdam in the merry month of June, the sweetest month in all the year; when Dan Apollo seems to dance up the transparent firmament-when the robin, the thrush, and a thousand other wanton songsters make the woods to resound with amorous ditties, and the luxurious little boblincon revels among the clover blossoms of the meadows-all which happy coincidence persuaded the old dames of New-Amsterdam, who were skilled in the art of foretelling events, that this was to be a happy and prosperous administration. But as it would be derogatory to the consequence of the first Dutch governor of the great province of Nieuw-Nederlandts, to be thus scurvily introduced at the end of the chapter, I will put an end to this second book of my history, that I may usher him in with more dignity in the beginning of my next. BOOK III. Such are my feelings when I revisit the family mansion of the Knickerbockers, and spend a lonely hour in the chamber where hang the portraits of my forefathers, shrouded in dust, like the forms they represent. With pious reverence do I gaze on the countenances of those renowned burghers, who have preceded me in the steady march of existencewhose sober and temperate blood now meanders through my veins, flowing slower and slower in its feeble conduits, until its current shall soon be stopped for ever! These, say I to myself, are but frail memorials of the mighty men who flourished in the days of the patriarchs; but who, alas, have long since mouldered in that tomb towards which my steps are insensibly and irresistibly hastening! As I pace the darkened chamber, and lose myself in melancholy musings, the shadowy images around me almost seem to steal once more into existence-their countenances to assume the animation of life-their eyes to pursue me in every movement! Carried away by the delusions of fancy, I almost imagine myself surrounded by the shades of the departed, and holding sweet converse with the worthies of antiquity! Ah, hapless Diedrich! born in a degenerate age, abandoned to the buffetings of fortune-a stranger and a weary pilgrim in thy native land-blest with no weeping wife, nor family of helpless children; but doomed to wander neglected through those crowded streets, and elbowed by foreign upstarts from those fair abodes where once thine ancestors held sovereign empire! Let me not, however, lose the historian in the man, nor suffer the dating recollections of age to overcome me, while dwelling with fond garrulity on the virtuous days of the patriarchs-on those sweet days of simplicity and ease, which never more will dawn on the lovely island of Manna-hata ! The renowned Wouter (or Walter) Van Twiller was descended from a long line of Dutch burgomasters, who had successively dozed away their lives, and grown fat upon the bench of magistracy in Rotterdam; and who had comported themselves IN WHICH IS REcorded the golden reign oF with such singular wisdom and propriety, that they WOUTER VAN TWILLER. CHAPTER I. were never either heard or talked of-which, next to being universally applauded, should be the object of ambition of all sage magistrates and rulers. The surname of Twiller is said to be a corruption of the original Twijfler, which in English means doubter; a name admirably descriptive of his delibOF THE RENOWNED WALTER VAN TWILLER-HIS erative habits. For, though he was a man shut up UNPARALLELED VIRTUES-AND LIKEWISE HIS within himself like an oyster, and of such a profoundUNUTTERABLE WISDOM IN THE LAW-CASE OF ly reflective turn, that he scarcely ever spoke except WANDLE SCHOONHOVEN AND BARENT BLEECK-in monosyllables, yet did he never make up his mind ER AND THE GREAT ADMIRATION OF THE PUBLIC THEREAT. GRIEVOUS and very much to be commiserated is the task of the feeling historian who writes the history of his native land. If it fall to his lot to be the sad recorder of calamity or crime, the mournful page is watered with his tears-nor can he recall the most prosperous and blissful era, without a melancholy sigh at the reflection that it has passed away for ever! I know not whether it be owing to an immoderate love for the simplicity of former times, or to that certain tenderness of heart incident to all sentimental historians; but I candidly confess that I cannot look back on the happier days of our city, which I now describe, without a sad dejection of the spirits. With a faltering hand do I withdraw the curtain of oblivion that veils the modest merit of our venerable ancestors, and as their figures rise to my mental vision, humble myself before the mighty shades. on any doubtful point. This was clearly accounted for by his adherents, who affirmed that he always conceived every object on so comprehensive a scale that he had not room in his head to turn it over and examine both sides of it, so that he always remained in doubt, merely in consequence of the astonishing magnitude of his ideas! There are two opposite ways by which some men get into notice-one by talking a vast deal and thinking a little, and the other by holding their tongues, and not thinking at all. By the first, many a vapouring, superficial pretender acquires the reputation of a man of quick parts-by the other, many a vacant dunderpate, like the owl, the stupidest of birds, comes to be complimented by a discerning world with all the attributes of wisdom. This, by the way, is a mere casual remark, which I would not for the universe have it thought I apply to Governor Van Twiller. On the contrary, he was a very wise Dutchman, for he never said a foolish thing-and of such invincible gravity, that he was never known to absolutely shut his eyes for full two hours at a time, that he might not be disturbed by external objects— and at such times the internal commotion of his mind was evinced by certain regular guttural sounds, which his admirers declared were merely the noise of conflict, made by his contending doubts and opinions. laugh, or even to smile, through the course of a long was on the carpet, the renowned Wouter would and prosperous life. Certain, however, it is, there never was a matter proposed, however simple, and on which your common narrow-minded mortals would rashly determine at the first glance, but what the renowned Wouter put on a mighty, mysterious, vacant kind of look, shook his capacious head, and, having smoked for five minutes with redoubled earnestness, sagely observed, that "he had his doubts about the matter "-which in process of time gained him the character of a man slow in belief, and not easily imposed on. It is with infinite difficulty I have been enabled to collect these biographical anecdotes of the great man under consideration. The facts respecting him were so scattered and vague, and divers of them so questionable in point of authenticity, that I have had to give up the search after many, and decline the admission of still more, which would have tended to heighten the colouring of his portrait. I have been the more anxious to delineate fully the person and habits of the renowned Van Twiller, from the consideration that he was not only the first, but also the best governor that ever presided over this ancient and respectable province; and so tranquil and benevolent was his reign, that I do not find throughout the whole of it, a single instance of any offender being brought to punishment-a most indubitable sign of a merciful governor, and a case unparalleled, excepting in the reign of the illustrious King Log, from whom, it is hinted, the renowned Van Twiller was a lineal descendant. The person of this illustrious old gentleman was as regularly formed, and nobly proportioned, as though it had been moulded by the hands of some cunning Dutch statuary, as a model of majesty and lordly grandeur. He was exactly five feet six inches in height, and six feet five inches in circumference. His head was a perfect sphere, and of such stupendous dimensions, that dame Nature, with all her sex's ingenuity, would have been puzzled to construct a neck capable of supporting it; wherefore she wisely declined the attempt, and settled it firmly on the top of his back-bone, just between the shoulders. His body was of an oblong form, particularly capacious at bottom; which was wisely ordered by Providence, seeing that he was a man of sedentary habits, and very averse to the idle labour of walking. His legs, though exceeding short, were sturdy in proportion The very outset of the career of this excellent to the weight they had to sustain; so that when magistrate was distinguished by an example of legal erect he had not a little the appearance of a robust-acumen, that gave flattering presage of a wise and ious beer-barrel, standing on skids. His face, that equitable administration. The morning after he had infallible index of the mind, presented a vast expanse, been solemnly installed in office, and at the moment perfectly unfurrowed or deformed by any of those that he was making his breakfast, from a prodigious lines and angles which disfigure the human counte-earthen dish, filled with milk and Indian pudding, he nance with what is termed expression. Two small was suddenly interrupted by the appearance of one gray eyes twinkled feebly in the midst, like two stars Wandle Schoonhoven, a very important old burgher of lesser magnitude in the hazy firmament; and his of New-Amsterdam, who complained bitterly of one full-fed cheeks, which seemed to have taken toll of Barent Bleecker, inasmuch as he fraudulently refused every thing that went into his mouth, were curiously to come to a settlement of accounts, seeing that there mottled and streaked with dusky red, like a Spitzen- was a heavy balance in favour of the said Wandle. berg apple. Governor Van Twiller, as I have already observed, His habits were as regular as his person He was a man of few words; he was likewise a mortal daily took his four stated meals, appropriating ex- enemy to multiplying writings-or being disturbed actly an hour to each; he smoked and doubted eight at his breakfast. Having listened attentively to the hours, and he slept the remaining twelve of the four-statement of Wandle Schoonhoven, giving an occaand-twenty. Such was the renowned Wouter Van Twiller-a true philosopher, for his mind was either elevated above, or tranquilly settled below, the cares and perplexities of this world. He had lived in it for years, without feeling the least curiosity to know whether the sun revolved round it, or it round the sun; and he had watched, for at least half a century, the smoke curling from his pipe to the ceiling, without once troubling his head with any of those numerous theories, by which a philosopher would have perplexed his brain, in accounting for its rising above the surrounding atmosphere. sional grunt, as he shovelled a spoonful of Indian pudding into his mouth-either as a sign that he relished the dish, or comprehended the story-he called unto him his constable, and pulling out of his breeches pocket a huge jack-knife, despatched it after the defendant as a summons, accompanied by his tobaccobox as a warrant. This summary process was as effectual in those simple days as was the seal-ring of the great Haroun Alraschid among the true believers. The two parties being confronted before him, each produced a book of accounts written in a language and character In his council he presided with great state and that would have puzzled any but a High Dutch comsolemnity. He sat in a huge chair of solid oak, hewn mentator, or a learned decipherer of Egyptian obein the celebrated forest of the Hague, fabricated by lisks, to understand. The sage Wouter took them an experienced timmerman of Amsterdam, and one after the other, and having poised them in his curiously carved about the arms and feet, into exact hands, and attentively counted over the number of imitations of gigantic eagle's claws. Instead of a leaves, fell straightway into a very great doubt, and sceptre, he swayed a long Turkish pipe, wrought smoked for half an hour without saying a word; at with jasmin and amber, which had been presented length, laying his finger beside his nose, and shutting to a Stadtholder of Holland, at the conclusion of a his eyes for a moment, with the air of a man who has treaty with one of the petty Barbary powers. In this just caught a subtle idea by the tail, he slowly took stately chair would he sit, and this magnificent pipe his pipe from his mouth, puffed forth a column of would he smoke, shaking his right knee with a con- tobacco-smoke, and with marvellous gravity and sostant motion, and fixing his eye for hours together lemnity pronounced-that having carefully counted upon a little print of Amsterdam, which hung in a over the leaves and weighed the books, it was found, black frame against the opposite wall of the council that one was just as thick and as heavy as the other chamber. Nay, it has even been said, that when therefore it was the final opinion of the court that any deliberation of extraordinary length and intricacy | the accounts were equally balar ced-therefore Wan the costs. dle should give Barent a receipt, and Barent should | of the burgermeesters, and should laugh most hearti give Wandle a receipt-and the constable should pay ly at all their jokes; but this last was a duty as rarely called in action in those days as it is at present, and This decision being straightway made known, dif- was shortly remitted, in consequence of the tragical fused general joy throughout New-Amsterdam, for death of a fat little schepen-who actually died of the people immediately perceived, that they had a suffecation, in an unsuccessful effort to force a laugh very wise and equitable magistrate to rule over them. at one of the burgermeester Van Zandt's best jokes. But its happiest effect was, that not another law-suit In return for these humble services, they were pertook place throughout the whole of his administra-mitted to say yes and no at the council board, and to tion--and the office of constable fell into such have that enviable privilege, the run of the public decay, that there was not one of those losel scouts kitchen-being graciously permitted to eat, and drink, known in the province for many years. I am the more particular in dwelling on this transaction, not only because I deem it one of the most sage and righteous judgments on record, and well worthy the attention of modern magistrates, but because it was a miraculous event in the history of the renowned Wouter-being the only time he was ever known to come to a decision in the whole course of his life. CHAPTER II. CONTAINING SOME ACCOUNT OF THE GRAND PARTICULARS TOUCHING THE STATE OF THE and smoke, at all those snug junketings and public gormandizings, for which the ancient magistrates were equally famous with their modern successors. The post of schepen, therefore, like that of assistant alderman, was eagerly coveted by all your burghers of a certain description, who have a huge relish for good feeding, and an humble ambition to be great men in a small way-who thirst after a little brief authority, that shall render them the terror of the alms-house and the bridewell - that shall enable them to lord it over obsequious poverty, vagrant vice, outcast prostitution, and hunger-driven dishonesty-that shall give to their beck a hound-like pack of catch - poles and bum-bailiffs -- tenfold greater rogues than the culprits they hunt down!--My readers will excuse this sudden warmth, which I confess is unbecoming of a grave historian-but I have a mortal antipathy to catch poles, bum-bailiffs, and little great men. The ancient magistrates of this city corresponded with those of the present time no less in form, magIN treating of the early governors of the province, nitude, and intellect, than in prerogative and priviI must caution my readers against confounding them, lege. The burgomasters, like our aldermen, were in point of dignity and power, with those worthy generally chosen by weight-and not only the weight gentlemen, who are whimsically denominated gov- of the body, but likewise the weight of the head. It ernors in this enlightened republic--a set of unhappy is a maxim practically observed in all honest, plainvictims of popularity, who are in fact the most de- thinking, regular cities, that an alderman should be pendent, henpecked beings in the community: doom-fat-and the wisdom of this can be proved to a cered to bear the secret goadings and corrections of their tainty. That the body is in some measure an image own party, and the sneers and revilings of the whole of the mind, or rather that the mind is moulded to world beside;-set up, like geese at Christmas holy- the body, like melted lead to the clay in which it is days, to be pelted and shot at by every whipster and cast, has been insisted on by many philosophers, who vagabond in the land. On the contrary, the Dutch have made human nature their peculiar study-for governors enjoyed that uncontrolled authority vested as a learned gentleman of our own city observes, in all commanders of distant colonies or territories." there is a constant relation between the moral They were in a manner absolute despots in their character of all intelligent creatures, and their physilittle domains, lording it, if so disposed, over both cal constitution-between their habits and the structlaw and gospel, and accountable to none but the ure of their bodies." Thus we see, that a lean, mother country; which it is well known is astonish-spare, diminutive body, is generally accompanied by ingly deaf to all complaints against its governors, a petulant, restless, meddling mind-either the mind provided they discharge the main duty of their sta- wears down the body, by its continual motion; or tion--squeezing out a good revenue. This hint will else the body, not affording the mind sufficient be of importance, to prevent my readers from being house-room, keeps it continually in a state of fretfulseized with doubt and incredulity, whenever, in the ness, tossing and worrying about from the uneasiness course of this authentic history, they encounter the of its situation. Whereas your round, sleek, fat, ununcommon circumstance of a governor acting with wieldy periphery is ever attended by a mind like itindependence, and in opposition to the opinions self, tranquil, torpid, and at ease; and we may alof the multitude. ways observe, that your well-fed, robustious burghers are in general very tenacious of their ease and comfort; being great enemies to noise, discord, and disturbance-and surely none are more likely to study the public tranquillity than those who are so careful of their own. Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs ?-nono-it is your lean, hungry men, who are continually worrying society, and setting the whole community by the ears. To assist the doubtful Wouter in the arduous business of legislation, a board of magistrates was appointed, which presided immediately over the police. This potent body consisted of a schout or bailiff, with powers between those of the present mayor and sheriff-five burgermeesters, who were equivalent to aldermen, and five schepens, who officiated as scrubs, subdevils, or bottle-holders to the burgermeesters, in the same manner as do assistant aldermen to their principals at the present day; it being their duty to fill the pipes of the lordly burgermeesters-hunt the markets for delicacies for corporation dinners, and to discharge such other little offices of kindness as were occasionally required. It was, moreover, tacitly understood, though not specifically enjoined, that they should consider themselves as butts for the blunt wits The divine Plato, whose doctrines are not sufficiently attended to by philosophers of the present age, allows to every man three souls-one immortal and rational, seated in the brain, that it may overlook and regulate the body-a second consisting of the surly and irascible passions, which, like belligerent powers, lie encamped around the heart-a third |