cients; and that I, in particular, have at length | river on fire, as soon as it will ourn ;-air, “O, what brought it almost to absolute perfection. a fine kettle of fish."

The Greeks, simple souls! were astonished at the powers of Orpheus, who made the woods and rocks dance to his lyre;-of Amphion, who converted crotchets into bricks, and quavers into mortar ;and of Arion, who won upon the compassion of the fishes. In the fervency of admiration, their poets fabled that Apollo had lent them his lyre, and inspired them with his own spirit of harmony. What then would they have said had they witnessed the wonderful effects of my skill? had they heard me in the compass of a single piece, describe in glowing notes one of the most sublime operations of nature; and not only make inanimate objects dance, but even speak; and not only speak, but speak in strains of exquisite harmony?

Part II. GREAT THAW.-This consists of the most melting strains, flowing so smoothly as to occasion a great overflowing of scientific rapture; air One misty moisty morning." The house of assembly breaks up-air-"The owls came out and flew about." Assembly-men embark on their way to New-York-air- "The ducks and the geese they all swim over, fal, de ral," &c.—Vessel sets sail-chorus of mariners-" Steer her up, and let her gang." After this a rapid movement conducts you to New-York ;-the North-river society hold a meeting at the corner of Wall-street, and determine to delay burning till all the assembly-men are safe home, for fear of consuming some of their own members who belong to that respectable body. Return again to the capital.-Ice floats down the river; lamentation of skaiters; air, affetuosso—“ | sigh and lament me in vain," &c.-Albanians cutting up sturgeon ;-air, "O the roast beef of Albany."-Ice runs against Polopoy's island, with a terrible crash.-This is represented by a fierce fellow travelling with his fiddle-stick over a huge bass viol, at the rate of one hundred and fifty bars a minute, and tearing the music to rags;-this being what is called execution.-The great body of ice passes West-point, and is saluted by three or four dismounted cannon, from Fort Putnam.-"Jefferson's march" by a full band;-air, "Yankee doodle," with seventy-six variations, never before attempted, except by the celebrated eagle, which flutters his wings over the copper-bottomed angel at Messrs. Paff's in Broadway. Ice passes New-York; conchshell sounds at a distance-ferrymen calls o v-e-r;

Let me not, however, be understood to say that I am the sole author of this extraordinary improvement in the art, for I confess I took the hint of many of my discoveries from some of those meritorious productions that have lately come abroad and made so much noise under the title of overtures. From some of these, as, for instance, Lodoiska, and the battle of Marengo, a gentleman, or a captain in the city militia, or an amazonian young lady, may indeed acquire a tolerable idea of military tactics, and become very well experienced in the firing of musketry, the roaring of cannon, the rattling of drums, the whistling of fifes, braying of trumpets, groans of the dying, and trampling of cavalry, without ever going to the wars; but it is more especially in the art of imitating inimitable things, and giving the language of every passion and sentiment of the human mind, so as entirely to do away the necessity of speech, that I particularly excel the most celebra--people run down Courtlandt-street ferry-boat ted musicians of ancient and modern times.

I think, sir, I may venture to say there is not a sound in the whole compass of nature which I cannot imitate, and even improve upon;-nay, what I consider the perfection of my art, I have discovered a method of expressing, in the most striking manner, that undefinable, indescribable silence which accompanies the falling of snow.

In order to prove to you that I do not arrogate to myself what I am unable to perform, I will detail to you the different movements of a grand piece which I pride myself upon exceedingly, called the "Breaking up of the ice in the North River."

The piece opens with a gentle andante affetuosso, which ushers you into the assembly-room in the state-house at Albany, where the speaker addresses his farewell speech, informing the members that the ice is about breaking up, and thanking them for their great services and good behaviour in a manner so pathetic as to bring tears into their eyes.Flourish of Jacks-a-donkies.-Ice cracks; Albany in a hub-bub:-air, “Three children sliding on the ice, all on a summer's day."-Citizens quarrelling in Dutch;-chorus of a tin trumpet, a cracked fiddle, and a hand-saw!—allegro moderato.Hard frost-this, if given with proper spirit, has a charming effect, and sets every body's teeth chattering.-Symptoms of snow-consultation of old women who complain of pains in the bones and rheumatics;air, "There was an old woman tossed up in a blanket," &c.-allegro staccato; wagen breaks into the ice ;-people all run to see what is the matter;-air, siciliano—“Can you row the boat ashore, Billy boy, Billy boy; -andante-frost fish froze up in the ice ;- -air,-" Ho, why dost thou shiver and shake, Gaffer Gray, and why does thy nose look so blue?"- -Flourish of two-penny trumpets and rattles;-consultation of the North-river society;-determine to set the North

"

sets sail-air-accompanied by the conch-shell"We'll all go over the ferry."-Rondeau-giving a particular account of BROM the Powles-hook admiral, who is supposed to be closely connected with the North-river society. The society make a grand attempt to fire the stream, but are utterly defeated by a remarkable high tide, which brings the plot to light; drowns upwards of a thousand rats, and occasions twenty robins to break their necks.*—Society not being discouraged, apply to Common Sense," for his lantern ;- -Air-Nose, nose, jolly

red nose." Flock of wild geese fly over the city;old wives chatter in the fog;-cocks crow at Communipaw-drums beat on Governor's island.-The whole to conclude with the blowing up of Sand's powder-house.

Thus, sir, you perceive what wonderful powers of expression have been hitherto locked up in this enchanting art:-a whole history is here told without the aid of speech, or writing; and provided the hearer is in the least acquainted with music, he cannot mistake a single note. As to the blowing up of the powder-house, I look upon it as a chef d'ouvre, which I am confident will delight all modern ama◄ teurs, who very properly estimate music in propor tion to the noise it makes, and delight in thundering cannon and earthquakes.

I must confess, however, it is a difficult part to manage, and I have already broken six pianoes in giving it the proper force and effect. But I do not despair, and am quite certain that by the time I have broken eight or ten more, I shall have brought it to such perfection, as to be able to teach any young lady of tolerable ear, to thunder it away to the infinite delight of papa and mamma, and the great annoyance of those Vandals, who are so barbarous as to prefer the simple melody of a Scots air, to the sublime effusions of modern musical doctors.

Vide-Solomon Lang.

In my warm anticipations of future improvement, I have sometimes almost convinced myself that music will, in time, be brought to such a climax of perfection, as to supersede the necessity of speech and writing; and every kind of social intercourse be conducted by the flute and fiddle.-The immense benefits that will result from this improvement must be plain to every man of the least consideration. In the present unhappy situation of mortals, a man has but one way of making himself perfectly understood; if he loses his speech, he must inevitably be dumb all the rest of his life; but having once learned this new musical language, the loss of speech will be a mere trifle not worth a moment's uneasiness. Not only this, Mr. L., but it will add much to the harmony of domestic intercourse; for it is certainly much more agreeable to hear a lady give lectures on the piano than, viva voce, in the usual discordant measThis manner of discoursing may also, I think, be introduced with great effect into our national assemblies, where every man, instead of wagging his tongue, should be obliged to flourish a fiddle-stick, by which means, if he said nothing to the purpose, he would, at all events, "discourse most eloquent music," which is more than can be said of most of them at present. They might also sound their own trumpets without being obliged to a hireling scribbler, for an immortality of nine days, or subjected to the censure of egotism.

ure.

present day, must be obvious to many; and I think the following a strong example of one of its evils

EXTRACTED FROM "THE MIRROR OF THE
GRACES."

"I REMEMBER the Count M -, one of the most accomplished and handsomest young men in Vienna · when I was there, he was passionately in love with a girl of almost peerless beauty. She was the daughter of a man of great rank, and great influence at court; and on these considerations, as well as in regard to her charms, she was followed by a multitude of suitors. She was lively and amiable, and treated them all with an affability which still kept them in her train, although it was generally known she had avowed a partiality for Count M; and that preparations were making for their nuptials. The Count was of a refined mind, and a delicate sensibility; he loved her for herself alone: for the virtues which he believed dwelt in her beautiful form; and, her without timidity; and when he touched her, a like a lover of such perfections, he never approached fire shot through his veins, that warned him not to invade the vermilion sanctuary of her lips. Such were his feelings when, one evening, at his intended celebrate a certain festival; several of the young father-in-law's, a party of young people were met to But the most important result of this discovery is lady's rejected suitors were present. Forfeits were that it may be applied to the establishment of that one of the pastimes, and all went on with the greatest great desideratum, in the learned world, a universal merriment, till the Count was commanded, by some language. Wherever this science of music is culti-witty mam'selle, to redeem his glove by saluting the vated, nothing more will be necessary than a knowledge of its alphabet; which being almost the same every where, will amount to a universal medium of communication. A man may thus, with his violin under his arm, a piece of rosin, and a few bundles of catgut, fiddle his way through the world, and never be at a loss to make himself understood.

I am, &c.

DEMY SEMIQUIVER.

[END OF VOL. one.]

-

cheek of his intended bride. The Count blushed, trembled, advanced, retreated; again advanced to his mistress;-and, at last,-with a tremor that shook his whole soul, and every fibre of his frame, with a modest and diffident grace, he took the soft ringlet which played upon her cheek, pressed it to his lips, and retired to demand his redeemed pledge in the most evident confusion. His mistress gaily. smiled, and the game went on.

"One of her rejected suitors who was of a merry, unthinking disposition, was adjudged by the same indiscreet crier of the forfeits as his last treat before he hanged himself" to snatch a kiss from the object of his recent vows. A lively contest ensued between the gentleman and lady, which lasted for more than a minute; but the lady yielded, though in the midst of a convulsive laugh.

་་

'The Count had the mortification-the agony-to NOTE BY THE PUBLISHER, see the lips, which his passionate and delicate love Without the knowledge or permission of the authors, would not permit him to touch, kissed with roughand which, if he dared, he would have placed near ness, and repetition, by another man:-even by one where their remarks are made on the great differ-without a word, he rose from his chair-left the room whom he really despised. Mournfully and silently, ence of manners which exists between the sexes now, from what it did in the days of our grandames. The danger of that cheek-by-jowl familiarity of the

and the house. By that good-natured kiss the fair boast of Vienna lost her lover-lost her husband. THE COUNT NEVER SAW HER MORE.'

SALMAGUNDI;

OR, THE

WHIM-WHAMS AND OPINIONS OF LAUNCELOT LANGSTAFF, Esq., AND OTHERS.

No. XI. TUESDAY, JULY 2, 1807.
LETTER FROM MUSTAPHA RUB-A-DUB
KELI KHAN,

CAPTAIN OF А КЕТСН, то ASEM HACCHEM,
PRINCIPAL SLAVE-DRIVER TO HIS HIGHNESS

THE BASHAW OF TRIPOLI.

THE deep shadows of midnight gather around me; the footsteps of the passengers have ceased in the streets, and nothing disturbs the holy silence of the hour save the sound of distant drums, mingled with the shouts, the bawlings, and the discordant revelry of his majesty, the sovereign mob. Let the hour be sacred to friendship, and consecrated to thee, oh, thou brother of my inmost soul!

fast of Ramazan, or the great festival of Haraphat, so celebrated in the east.

My friend, however, undeceived me at once, and entered into a long dissertation on the nature and object of an election, the substance of which was nearly to this effect: "You know," said he, “that this country is engaged in a violent internal warfare, and suffers a variety of evils from civil dissensions. An election is a grand trial of strength, the decisive battle, when the belligerents draw out their forces in martial array; when every leader, burning with warlike ardour, and encouraged by the shouts and acclamations of tatterdmalions, buffoons, dependents, parasites, toad-eaters, scrubs, vagrants, mumpers, ragamuffins, bravoes, and beggars, in his rear; and puffed up by his bellows-blowing slang-whangers, waves gallantly the banners of faction, and presses forward TO OFFICE AND IMMORTALITY!"

"For a month or two previous to the critical Oh, Asem! I almost shrink at the recollection of period which is to decide this important affair, the the scenes of confusion, of licentious disorganization, whole community is in a ferment. Every man, of which I have witnessed during the last three days. whatever rank or degree, such is the wonderful I have beheld this whole city, nay, this whole state, patriotism of the people, disinterestedly neglects his given up to the tongue, and the pen; to the puffers, business, to devote himself to his country; and not the bawlers, the babblers, and the slang-whangers. an insignificant fellow, but feels himself inspired, on I have beheld the community convulsed with a civil this occasion, with as much warmth in favour of the war, or civil talk; individuals verbally massacred, cause he has espoused, as if all the comfort of his families annihilated by whole sheets full, and slang-life, or even his life itself, was dependent on the issue. whangers coolly bathing their pens in ink and rioting in the slaughter of their thousands. I have seen, in short, that awful despot, the people, in the moment of unlimited power, wielding newspapers in one hand, and with the other scattering mud and filth about, like some desperate lunatic relieved from the restraints of his straight waistcoat. I have seen beggars on horseback, ragamuffins riding in coaches, and swine seated in places of honour; I have sen liberty; I have seen equality; I have seen fraternity!I have seen that great political puppetshow- AN ELECTION.

A few days ago the friend, whom I have mentioned in some of my former letters, called upon me to accompany him to witness this grand ceremony; and we forthwith sallied out to the polls, as he called them. Though for several weeks before this splendid exhibition, nothing else had been talked of, yet I do assure thee I was entirely ignorant of its nature; and when, on coming up to a church, my companion informed me we were at the poll, I supposed that an election was some great religious ceremony like the

Grand councils of war are, in the first place, called by the different powers, which are dubbed general meetings, where all the head workmen of the party collect, and arrange the order of battle;-appoint the different commanders, and their subordinate instruments, and furnish the funds indispensable for supplying the expenses of the war. Inferior councils are next called in the different classes or wards; consisting of young cadets, who are candidates for offices; idlers who come there for mere curiosity; and orators who appear for the purpose of detailing all the crimes, the faults, or the weaknesses of their opponents, and speaking the sense of the meeting, as it is called; for as the meeting generally consists of men whose quota of sense, taken individually, would make but a poor figure, these orators are appointed to collect it all in a lump; when I assure you it makes a very formidable appearance, and furnishes sufficient matter to spin an oration of two or three hours."

"The orators who declaim at these meetings are, with a few exceptions, men of most profound and