66

In an action for breach of promise, the defendant's counsel asked the plaintiff: "Did my client enter into a positive agreement to marry you?" Not exactly," she replied, "but he courted me a good deal, and he told my sister that he intended to marry into our family."

A dandy, smoking a cigar, entered a menagerie, when the keeper ordered him to take the weed from his mouth, for fear the other monkeys might learn bad habits.

66

'Why did you leave your last place, Sarah ?" "Why you see, mum, I was too good looking, and when I opened the front door, folks took me for the missus."

'Wait

A medical student was asked what he would do first in the case of a man who was blown up by gunpowder. until he came down," was the reply.

"I saw a capital thing in your pamphlet the other day," said a cynic. “Indeed," said the delighted author, “what was it?" A pound of butter."

"I wish I had your head," said a young lady to a literary man, who had solved a problem for her. “And I wish I had your heart," responded the gentleman. They formed a partnership.

Holmes, being bored by a dull public lecturer, asked: "What are you about at this time?" The answer was: "Lecturing as usual. I hold forth this evening at Roxbury.” The professor, clapping his hands, exclaimed: "I am glad of it; I never did like those Roxbury people."

SUPPLEMENT TO

One Hundred Choice Selections, No. 18

CONTAINING

SENTIMENTS For Public Occasions;

WITTICISMS For Home Enjoyment;

LIFE THOUGHTS For Private Reflection;

FUNNY SAYINGS For Social Pastime, &c.

Though the false wing of pleasure may change and forsake,
And the bright urn of wealth into particles break,
There are some sweet affections that wealth cannot buy,
That cling but still closer when sorrow draws nigh.

Swain. The scholar, without good-breeding, is a pedant; the philosopher, a cynic; the soldier, a brute; and every man disagreeable.

Chesterfield.

Run, if you like, but try to keep your breath;
Work like a man, but don't be worked to death.

Holmes.

He approaches nearest to the gods who knows how to be silent, even though he is in the right.

Cato.

Never give up! it is wiser and better
Always to hope, than once to despair;

Fling off the load of Doubt's cankering fetter,
And break the dark spell of tyrannical Care:
Never give up or the burden may sink you,-—
Providence kindly has mingled the cup;
And in all trials and troubles, bethink you

The watchword of life must be,-never give up. Tupper.

A firm faith is the best divinity; a good life the best philosophy; a clear conscience the best law; honesty the best policy; temperance the best physic.

Wisdom is ofttimes nearer when we stoop

Than when we soar.

There is a jewel which no Indian mines can buy,
No chemic art can counterfeit;

It makes men rich in greatest poverty,
Makes water wine, turns wooden cups to gold,
The homely whistle to sweet music's strain;
Seldom it comes, to few from heaven sent,
That much in little-all in naught-Content.

Wilbye.

He who respects his work so highly (and does it reverently,) that he cares little what the world thinks of it, is the man about whom the world comes at last to think a good deal.

Hid in earth's mines of silver,

Floating on clouds above,
Ringing in autumn's tempest,
Murmured by every dove,
One thought fills God's creation-
His own great name of Love.

All true ambition and aspiration are without comparisons.

O woman, lovely woman, nature formed thee
To temper man: we had been brutes without thee.

Beecher.

Otway.

We live in the future. Even the happiness of the present is made up mostly of that delightful discontent which the hope of better things inspires. J. G. Holland.

The clouds may drop down titles and estates;
Wealth may seek us, but wisdom must be sought;
Sought before all, but (how unlike all else
We seek on earth!) 'tis never sought in vain.

Solid love, whose root is virtue, can no more die, than virtue itself.

Parting day

Erasmus.

Dies like the dolphin, whom each pang imbues
With a new color as it gasps away,-
The last still loveliest, till-'tis gone-and all is gray.

Byron.

Allegories, when well chosen, are like so many tracks of light in a discourse, that make everything about them clear and beautiful.

Addison.

Our yesterday's to-morrow now is gone,
And still a new to-morrow does come on.
We by to-morrows draw out all our store,
Till the exhausted well can yield no more.

Cowley.

He who has not a good memory should never take upon him the trade of lying.

Why slander we the times?

What crimes

Have days and years, that we
Thus charge them with iniquity?
If we would rightly scan,

Montaigne.

It's not the times are bad, but man. Beaumont.

He that is slow to anger, is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit, than he that taketh a city.

Bible.

Jonson.

Indeed, true gladness doth not always speak : Joy bred and born but in the tongue is weak. Never was a sincere word utterly lost. Never a magnanimity fell to the ground, but there is some heart to greet and accept it unexpectedly.

Emerson.

Forever from the hand that takes

One blessing from us, others fall;

And soon or late, our Father makes

His perfect recompense to all.

Whittier.

Half the gossip of society would perish if the books that

are truly worth reading were but read.

Dawson.

Pride often guides the author's pen;
Books as affected are as men;
But he who studies nature's laws
From certain truth his maxims draws;

And those, without our schools, suffice

To make men moral, good, and wise.

Gay.

The present is the living sum-total of the whole past.

Carlyle.

The glorious sun

Stays in his course, and plays the alchemist,
Turning, with splendor of his precious eye,

The meagre, cloddy earth to glittering gold. Shakspeare.

Nature is a revelation of God; art is a revelation of man.

Better to dwell in Freedom's hall,

Longfellow.

With a cold damp floor and mouldering wall,
Than bow the head and bend the knee
In the proudest palace of slavery.

Moore.

Music washes away from the soul the dust of every-day

life.

Auerbach.

Mystery such as is given of God, is beyond the power of human penetration, yet not in opposition to it.

Madame de Stael.

The timid hand stretched forth to aid
A brother in his need,

The kindly word in grief's dark hour

That proves the friend indeed,
The plea for mercy softly breathed
When justice threatens nigh,

The sorrows of a contrite heart,-
These things shall never die.

Language was given to us that we might say pleasant

things to each other.

Adam could find no solid peace

Till he beheld a woman's face;

When Eve was given for a mate,
Adam was in a happy state.

To be proud of learning is the greatest ignorance.

Bovee.

Bishop Taylor.

If there's a power above us

(And that there is, all nature cries aloud
Through all her works), he must delight in virtue,
And that which He delights in must be happy.

Addison. Our sweetest experiences of affection are meant to be suggestions of that realm which is the home of the heart.

Oh for the robes of whiteness!

Oh for the tearless eyes!

Oh for the glorious brightness
Of the unclouded skies!
Oh for the no more weeping
Within the land of love,
The endless joy of keeping
The bridal feast above.

Honest labor bears a lovely face.

Beecher.

Charitie L. Smith.

Dekker.

There is a calm for those who weep,

A rest for weary pilgrims found,
They softly lie and sweetly sleep

Low in the ground.

Montgomery.

Anger is like rain; it breaks itself upon that on which it

falls.