this experiment, it is neceffary for you to be equally acquainted with both ftiles; otherwife that which fhould happen to be most familiar, would perpetually prefent itself to the mind, to the prejudice of the other. Nor is this fecond condition lefs difficult than the firft: for among those who are acquainted with both kinds of mufic, there is no hesitation of choice; and it is eafy to perceive by the ridiculous arguments of those who write against the Italian mufic, how little knowledge they have of that, or indeed the art in general.

Add to this, that it is very effential to proceed in exact time; but I forefee that this caution, though fuperfluous in any other country, would be useful in this, and that this omiffion alone neceffarily carries with it an incompetency of judgment.

Taking all these precautions, the character of each kind of mufic cannot fail of declaring itself; when it would be difficult not to clothe the paffages with thofe ideas which agree with them; and in deed not to add, at least mentally, those turns and ornaments, which may be refufed them in finging. We should not reft the matter, alfo, upon a fingle experiment; for one air may please more than another, without determining the preference of the kind of mufic; nor is it without a great number of trials that a reasonable judgment is to be formed. Befides, in taking away the words, we take away the moft

important part of the melody, which is expreffion; fo that all that can be determined, is, whether the modulation be good, and the tune natural and beautiful. All this fhews how difficult it is to take fufficient precautions against prepoffeffions, and how far reason is neceffary to qualify us to judge properly in matters of tafte.

I made another trial, which requires lefs precaution, and will yet appear probably more decifive.' I gave to fome Italian muficians the fineft airs of Lulli, and to fome French ones the felect airs of Leo and Pergolese, and I remarked, that thongh the latter were very far from entering into the true taste of thefe pieces, they were fenfible nevertheless of their melody, and made out of them, in their manner, agreeable and tuneful paffages. But the Italians folfa'd our most pathetic airs, without discovering either paffage or tune: they found no mufic at all in them, but faw only a fucceffion of notes placed without choice or defign; they fung them indeed exactly as you would read Arabic words written in French characters *.

My third experiment was this: I had an opportunity of seeing at Venice, an Armenian, a man of understanding, who had never before heard any mufic; and to whom were exhibited in the fame concert, a French piece, which began with these words,

Temple facre, fejour tranquille:

and an air of Galuppi's, which begins thus ;

Voi che languite fenza fperanza.

Both the one and the other were fung, very indifferently for a Frenchman, and badly for an Italian, by a man accustomed folely to French mufic, and at that time an enthufiaft for Rameau. I obferved that my Armenian, during the French fong, expreffed much more furprise than pleasure: but every body took notice that his countenance and eyes brightened up, and that he was inftantly affected with the very first notes of the Italian. He appeared indeed enchanted, and gave himself up entirely to the impreffions of the mufic; the fimple founds, for he understood hardly any thing of the language, giving him an evident delight. From that time he would never liften to a French air.

But without going abroad for examples, have we not many perfons among ourselves, who being acquainted only with our own operas, really conceived they had no manner of tafte for finging, and were undeceived only by the Italian interludes. They imagined they did not love mufic, for the very reason that proved they liked only that which was really fuch,

f

I must confefs that so many facts made me doubt of the exiftence of French melody; and raised a sufpicion that it was only a kind of modulated full chorus, that had nothing in it agreeable of itfelf; pleafing only by the help of certain adventitious and arbitrary ornaments, and to fuch only as were prepoffeffed in its favour. For we find that our mufic is hardly fupportable even to our own ears, when it is executed by indifferent voices, who cannot make the most of it. It requires a Fel and a Jeliotte to fing French mufic: but every voice is good for the Italian; because the beauties of the latter are in the mufic itself, whereas those of the French, if it has any, depend all on the abilities of the finger *.

There are three things which to me appear to concur in the perfection of Italian melody. The firft is the fweetnefs of the language; which, making all its inflections eafy, leaves the genius of the mufician at liberty to make a more exquifite choice, to give a greater variety to his combinations; and affign to every actor a particular turn, fo that each may have his own peculiar manner to distinguish him from the reft.

The fecond is the boldness of the modulations, which, although lefs fervilely prepared than ours, are

rendered

rendered more agreeable in being rendered more fenfible, and without giving any harshness to the fong, add a lively energy to the expreffion. It is by means of this the mufician, paffing fuddenly from one key or mode to another, and fuppreffing, when neceflary, the intermediate and pedantic tranfitions, is capable of expreffing those referves, interruptions, and paren thefes, which are the language of the impetuous paffions; and which the glowing Metaftafio, Porpora, Galuppi, Cocchi, Jumella, Perez, and Terra-Deglia have fo often and fo fuccessfully employed; while our lyric poets know juft as little of them as our

muficians.

The third advantage, and that which gives to melody its greatest effect, is the extreme exactness of time which is obfervable in the graveft as well as the livelieft move. ments: an exactness which renders the finging animated and interefting, the accompany ments lively and flowing, which really multiplies the tunes, by making in one combination of founds as many different melodies as there are methods of scanning them: an exactnefs which conveys every fentiment to the heart, and every image to the understanding; which furnishes the mufician with the means of giving to words all imaginable characters, many of which we have no idea of, and which renders the movements proper to exprefs all thofe characters, or a fingle movement proper to contraft and change the character at the pleasure of the compofer,

The history of Nonfenfe.

HERE is no race of people

TH

that has been more confpicuous, in almost every relation of life, than the illuftrious family of Nonfenfe. In every age of the world they have fhone forth with uncommon luftre, and have made a wonderful progress in all the arts and fciences. They have, at different feafons, delivered fpeeches from the throne, harangued at the bar, debated in parliament, and gone amazing lengths in philofophical enquiries and metaphyfical difquifitions.

In a word, the whole hiftory of the world, moral and political, is but a Cyclopædia of Nonfenfe. For which reason, confidering the dignity and importance of the family, and the infinite fervice it has been of to me and many of my contemporaries, I have refolved to oblige the public with a kind of abftract of the hiftory of Nonsense.

Nonfenfe was the daughter of ignorance, begot on falfhood, many years ago, in a dark cavern in Boetia. As fhe grew up, the inherited all the qualities of her pa rents; fhe difcovered too warm a genius to require being fent to fchool; but, while other dull brats were poring over an horn-book, the amufed herself with fpreading fantastical lies, taught her by her mamma, and which have, in latter ages, been familiarly known to us under the names of fham, banter, and humbug.

When fhe grew up, the received the addreffes, and foon became the wife, of impudence. Who he was, or of what profeffion, is uncertain; fome fay he was the fon of ignorance by another venter, and was

fuffered

fuffered to become the hufband of nonfenfe in those dark ages of the world, as the Ptolemies of Egypt married their own fifters. Some record, that he was in the army; others, that he was an interpreter of the laws; and others, a divine. However this was, nonfenfe, and impudence were foon infeparably united to each other, and became the founders of a more noble and numerous family than any yet preferved on any tree of defcent whatfoever; of which ingenious device they were faid to have been the first inventors.

It is my chief intent, at prefent, to record the great exploits of that branch of the family, who have made themselves remarkable in England, though they began to fignalize themselves very early, and are ftill very flourishing in moft parts of the world. Many of them were Egyptian priefts four thoufand years ago, and told the people, that it was religion to worship dogs, monkeys, and green leeks; and their defcendants prevailed on the Greeks and Romans to build temples in honour of fuppofed deities, who were, in their own eftimation of them, whores and whore-mongers, pickpockets and drunkards.

Others rofe up fome ages after in Turkey, and perfuaded the people to embrace the doctrine of bloodfhed and the fword, in the name of the moft merciful God. And others have manifefted their lineal defcent from nonfenfe and impudence, by affirming that there is no God at all. There were alfo among them many threwd philofophers: fome of whom, though they were racked with a fit of the ftone, or laid up with a gouty toe, declared that

they felt not the leaft degree of pain: and others would not trust their own eyes; but, when they faw an horfe or a dog, could not tell whether it was not a chair or a table, and even made a doubt of their own existence.

We have no certain account of the progrefs of nonfenfe here in England, till after the reformation. All we hear of her and her progeny before that period of time is, that they led a lazy life among the monks in cloyfters and convents, dreaming over old legends of faints, drawing up breviaries and mass-books, and ftringing together fome barbarous Latin verses in rhime.

In the days of queen Elizabeth, fo little encouragement was given to her family, that it feemed to have been almost extinct; but, in the fucceeding reign, it flourished again, and filled the most confider. able offices in the nation.

Nonsense became a great favourite at court, where she was highly careffed on account of her wit, which confifted in puns and quib. bles; and the bonny monarch himfelf was thought to take a more than ordinary delight in her converfation. At this time many of her progeny took orders, and got themselves preferred to the best livings, by turning the evangelifts into punters, and making St. Paul quibble from the pulpit. Among the reft there was a bishop, a favourite fon of nonsense, of whom it is particularly recorded, that he used to tickle his courtly audience, by telling them that matrimony was become a matter of money, with many other right reverend jets recorded by Joe Miller.

Several brothers of this family were likewife bred to the bar, and

very gravely harangued against old women fucked by devils in the fhape of ram-cats, &c.

As an inftance of their profound wifdom and fagacity, I need only mention that juft and truly pious act of parliament made against the crying fin of witchcraft, 1 Jac I. chap. 12. "Such as shall ufe invocation or conjuration of any evil fpirit, or fhall confult, covenant with, entertain, employ, fee, or reward, any evil fpirit, to any intent, or take up any dead perfon, or part thereof, to be used in witchcraft, or have used any of the said arts, whereby any person shall be killed, confumed, or lamed in his or her body, they, together with their acceffories before the fact, fhall fuffer as felons, without benefit of clergy."

In the trouble fome times of king Charles the First, nonfenfe and her family fided with the parliament. Thefe fet up new fects in religion : fome of them cropped their hair fhort, and called themselves the enlightened; fome fell into trances, and pretended to fee holy vifions while others got into tubs, and held forth, with many whinings and groans, and fnuffling through the nose.

In the merry days of king Charles the Second, nonsense affumed a more gay and libertine air; and her progeny, from fanatics, became downright infidels. Several courtiers of the family wrote lewd plays, as well as lufcious love-fongs, and other loose verses, which were collected together, and greedily bought up in mifcellanies.

In the fucceeding reign, fome of the kindred, who had received their education at St. Omers, thought themselves on the point of establish

ing nonfenfe in church and state, a d were preparing to make bonfires on the occafion in Smithfield, when they were obliged to leave the kindom.

Since the revolution, the field of politics has afforded large fcope for nonfenfe and her family to make themselves remarkable. Hence arofe the various fects in party, diftinguished by the name of whig and tory, minifterial and Jacobite, Sunderlandians, Oxfordians, Godolphinians, Bolingbrokians, Walpolians, Pelhamians, &c. &c. &c. names which have kindied as hot a war in pamplets and journals, as the Guelphs and Gibilines in Italy, or the Big and Little Endians in the kingdom of Lilliput.

a

I have hire endeavoured to give fhort abridgment of the history of nonfense; though a very fmail part of the exploits of the family can be included in fo compendious a chronicle. Some of them were very deep fcholars, and filled the profeffors chairs at the universities. They compofed many elaborate disferrations, to convince the world, that two and two make four; and discovered, by dint of fyllogifm, that white is not black. Their inquiries in natural philofophy were no lefs extraordinary: many spent their lives and their fortunes in attempting to discover a wonderful ftone, that should turn every baser metal into gold; and others employed themfelves in making artificial wings, by the help of which they fhould fly up into the world of the moon. Another branch of the family took to the Belles Lettres, and were the original founders of the learned fociety of Grubstreet.

Never was any æra, in the annals

of