LETTER LI.

LORD SHAFTESBURY TO ROB. MOLESWORTH, ESQ.

Beachworth, Sep. 3, 1709.

DEAR SIR, Ir is now long since I had fixed my thoughts on nothing but the happiness of seeing you, and profiting of those advantages which the perfectest friendship, with the greatest address, and indefatigable pains, had compassed in my behalf. There was nothing I might not have hoped from such a foundation as you had laid; and all the enchant. ments in the world could not have held proof, had my sad fate allowed me but to have followed my guide, and executed what my general had so ably designed. But not a star but has been my enemy. I had hardly got over the unnatural winter, but with all the zeal imaginable I dispatched my affairs and came up from the west, thinking to surprise you by a visit. The hurry I came away in, and the fatigue of more than ordinary business I was forced to dispatch that very morning I set out, joined with the ill weather which returned again upon my journey, threw me into one of my ill fits of the asthma, and almost killed me on the road. After a few weeks I got this over, and my hopes revived; and last week I went to Chelsea, paid my visit next day to the old man, found him not at home, resolved to redouble my visits, and once more endeavour to move him. But the winds returned to their old quarter, I had London smoke on me for a day or two, grew extremely ill with

it, and was forced to retire hither, where I have but just recovered breath.

What shall I do in such a case? To trouble you further I am ashamed; ashamed too that I should have pushed such an affair to which my strength was so little suitable; and yet ashamed to desist, after what I have done, and the vast trouble I have put you to. But fortune has at length taught me that lesson of philosophy, "to know myself," my constitution I mean; for my mind (in this respect at least) I know full well. And I wish in all other things I could be as unerring and perfect as I have been in this affair; in which I am certain no ambition, or thought of interest, has had any part: though it may look as if all my aim had been fortune, and not the person and character of the lady, as I have pretended. But in this I dare almost say with assurance, You know my heart. Whether the lady does, or ever will, God knows; for I have scarce the heart left to tell it her, had I the opportunity.

So much for my sad fortune.

I hope however to be at Chelsea again in a few days, and I long for the happiness of seeing you there; for I have no hopes of being able to wait on you at your lodgings.

If the queen goes soon to Windsor, I hope soon to see the great man, our friend; whom I can easier visit there, than at St. James's. He bas been so kind to inquire after me with particular favour, and has sent me a kind message in relation to public affairs. I am, dear sir, your most obliged friend and faithful humble servant.

LETTER LII.

LORD SHAFTESBURY TO ROB. MOLESWORTH, ESQ.

MY DEAR FRIEND,

Chelsea, June 15, 1709.

I was this day to wait again on my old lord. 1 found him as civil and obliging as ever. But when I came to make mention of my affair, I found the subject was uneasy to him. I did but take occasion, when he spoke in praise of my little house and study, to tell him I built it in a different view from what his lordship knew me to have of late; for I had then (I told him) no thoughts beyond a single life. I would have added, that since I was unhappy in my first offer, and had turned my thoughts as I had lately done, when I flattered myself in the hopes of his favour, I could no longer enjoy the place of his neighbourhood with the sa tisfaction I had done before.-But I found he was deaf on this ear. He seemed to express all the uneasiness that could be, and I could go no further. I see there is no hope left for me. If he thought any one sincere, I believe I might be as likely as any one to be trusted by him. But I am afraid he thinks but the worse of me for pretending to value his daughter as I do; and for protesting that I would be glad to take her without a farthing, present or future, and yet settle all I have, as I have offered him. He will not easily find such a friend and son-in-law; one that has such a regard for him and his.

But so it must be. He may suffer perhaps as

well as I. There is no help for this, when men are too crafty to see plain, and too interested to see their real friends and interest. I shall soon shew my sincerity in one respect, if I live: for since I cannot have the woman I have seen aud liked, I may determine perhaps on one I have never seen; and take a lady for a character only without a fortune (which I want not), since you and other friends are so kindly importunate and pressing on this concern of mine.

But of this more when I see you next, with a thousand acknowledgments and thanks for the thorough friendship you have shewn; and what is so truly friendship, that I almost think I injure it when I speak of thanks and acknowledgments.

You will have me take all of this kind in another manner; and therefore, on the same foot, 1 expect you should take all that I have done, or ever can do, without ceremony, and as your faithful friend and humble servant.

LETTER LIII.

LORD SHAFTESBURY TO ROB. MOLESWORTH,

ESQ.

Beachworth, July 9, 1709.

MY DEAR FRIEND, I CAN hardly be reconciled to you, for saying so much as you have done, to express your concern for the disappointment of my grand affair. I am not so ill a friend, nor have lived so little in the world, as not to know by experience, that a disappointment in a friend's concern is often of more

And I was so

trouble to one than in one's own. satisfied this was your case, that I was willing to diminish the loss and make as slight of it as possible, the better to comfort you, and prevent your being too much concerned at what had happened. As to the fortune, I might sincerely have done it; but as to the lady, I own the loss is great enough: for, besides her character and education, she was the first I turned my thoughts upon after the pro mise you had drawn from me the year before, when you joined with some friends of mine in kindly pressing me to think of the continuance of a family. Methinks now I might be acquitted, after this attempt I have made. But you have taken occasion from the ill success of it to prove how much more still you are my friend, in desiring to make the most of me while I live, and keep what you can of me for memory sake afterwards. This is the kindest part in the world, and I cannot bring myself so much as to suppose a possibility of your flattering me. I have an easy faith in friendship. My friends may dispose of me as they please, when they thus lay claim to me; and whilst they find me of any use to them, or think I have any power still to serve mankind or my country in such a sphere as is yet left for me, I can live as happy in a crazy state of health, and out of the way of pleasures and diversions, as if I enjoyed them in the highest degree. If marriage can be suitable to such a circumstance of life, I am content to engage. I must do my best to render it agreeable to those I engage with; and my choice, I am sensible, ought for this reason to be as you have wisely prescribed for me. I must resolve to