these facts and associations in view, with what pretext of gravity can we witness the recent assumption of the cauda virilis by so large a number of our cotemporaries in the college world!

We have, also, a word concerning those marvelous circlets of linen, wherewith fantastic Sophomores and gay young Freshmen are wont to encompass their "alabaster necks." The fashion is a recent apparition in our midst, and we cannot hope for its general adoption. The contrivance is said to be dangerous to the wearer and it has been whispered in our ear that an adventurous Sophomore, who had put one on for the first time, dropped dead one day in the recitation room. We suggested that the catastrophe had, possibly, been caused by nothing worse than a flunk; but our informant indignantly scouted the bare idea of such a thing: the young man's throat, he said, was cut from ear to ear by the razor-like edge of the linen.

An eminent philosopher, whose life-time has been devoted to an untiring consideration of the subject, assures us that the mental progress of a student may be accurately estimated by an observation of his wardrobe. We are somewhat inclined to a belief in the truth of this proposition. Certain it is that the scantily furnished trunks of the Freshman correspond well with the state of his brains; the vociferous apparel of the Sophomore, the neglige air of the Junior, and the finished elegance of the Senior's attire, all seem to confirm our faith in this theory. But we cannot assent to the truth of the assertion that an old coat is, per se (to quote the language of our legal adviser), evidence of a boorish owner. Let all honor be paid to antiquity; and greater is the meed of approbation due to the man who can wear old clothes in a tasteful manner, than to the fop who shines in purple and fine linen every day.

BIENNIAL is at hand. It has been rumored that several of the most promising candidates for examination have been seized with such tremulous fits of fearful anticipation as to have given rise to the uncharitable suspicion that the patients had been imbibing something more enlivening than simple nectar. Of course no right minded person has, even for a moment, given credence to so slanderous a report. College rumors are, almost invariably, unworthy of notice. But concerning Biennial: our sympathies are with the martyrs of that inquisition, and we hope they may experience a safe deliverance from its horrors. We congratulate the graduating members of '59, and trust they will leave us their subscriptions before quitting these classic shades.

THE college hydrants still remain unaffected by the heavy rains that watered the earth during the early part of the term. This circumstance has been the occasion of much suffering among the lower classes in our community. We were informed, one pleasant evening, that the Sophomores were inciting a riot, and that the house of a noted functionary, who was supposed to be in some way connected with the water works, was marked out for destruction. Our editorial rooms were immediately lighted up, reporters were dispatched to the scene of action, and every arrangement was made for the speedy and accurate publication of obituary notices of the killed and wounded; but, after passing several hours in a state of anxious suspense, we were assured that law and order had triumphed, and that tranquility again prevailed. It appears that the rioters had formed in a solid phalanx at their headquarters, and were actually in motion for the accomplishment of their designs, when they encountered an eminent

college dignitary, who soon succeeded in dispersing the mob. The hydrants, tanks, and baths, have, consequently, remained dry ever since.

THE following communication, directed to the editur of the quatterly, was pushed in under the door of our sanctum, a few days since. As the document contained several original ideas, we concluded to so far rectify the author's punctuation and orthography as to render the article intelligible, and to give it publicity on this wise :

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DEAR EDITOR:-Mr. Augustus Julius Cæsar Squizzle has just left my room. Mr. S. is a member of the Senior class, and is a very nice young man in a word, he is fectly faultless at the most select tea-parties of the neighborhood. He is possessed of an exquisite sensitiveness and delicacy of taste, which he not unfrequently displays in the adornment of his elegant person. His feet are covered with the smallest and most beautiful patent leather boots imaginable, His pants are indescribable; his coat and neck-tie are adorable. A lovely little watch dangles in his breeches' pocket at the extremity of a massive gold chain, while a brilliant, diamond ring sparkles upon the minor process of his sinistral tentacle. His countenance, though slightly vacuous in expression, is generally considered a perfect scene of contentment and good nature. But, in spite of all these glorious gifts of nature, Mr. S. is still an imperfect being : he has not entirely escaped those ills and grievances to which flesh is heir. Certain evil minded persons belonging to a very low set are in the habit of occasionally remarking upon the character of my friend, in a manner most disgraceful to themselves. It has even been privately hinted around in public circles, that Mr. S. is not distinguished for profundity of thought, or for any peculiar manifestation of mental caliber. It is also stated that he is irregular in his service of our Alma Mater, and, therefore, an improper person to pronounce an opinion concerning any of the proceedings of that charming female; and that, even if he should in any case volunteer an opinion based upon accurate observation and right reasoning, it would be unworthy of attention or respect, because emanating from a person utterly innocent of a mentally vertebrate organization. I have for a long time been witness to the malice and spite of which my excellent friend has been the object, and I feel that the time has come for me to raise my quill, and declare, once for all, that Mr. Augustus Julius &c., is a most remarkable young man; and that, though his genius may, possibly, now fail of that appreciation which is its due, his memory will be tenderly cherished by his companions and cotemporaries through the never ending ages of the future.

I have already mentioned Mr. Squizzle's recent exit from my room. (By the way, my habitation is in the third story of East College, where I am always happy to meet my friends.) He is in the habit of calling very frequently: under any other circumstances I might think it rather borous; but I am always delighted with the society of remarkable men, and Mr. S. is not only a remarkable, but an exemplary man. I invariably listen with respectful attention to his conversation, and I feel myself a wiser and better man-whenever he leaves my humble apartment. These acts of courtesy have procured me the favor of his friendship; and he often confides his sufferings and sorrows to my sympathizing ear; for, though he never asks, or needs, advice, sympathy is as pleasing to him as to any other stricken mortal.

As I said before, Mr. S. has just left me alone. He has met with a great many trials, of late; and he has been recounting his sorrowful experience. I wish to

embalm in print a few of his minor afflictions, to the end that our descendants may rejoice that they lived not in the days of their fathers. If success crowns this effort, I shall joyfully exclaim, in the words of the charming Latin poet, "Mortuus sum,' Mr. S. tells me that he is in the habit of receiving a daily newspaper. But he also says that he thinks seriously of ordering its discontinuance. "For," says my amiable friend, "I am hardly dressed in the morning before some loud-mouthed patriot rushes into my apartment, full of eagerness to learn 'what's going on at Washington.'" Mr. S. expresses his willingness to favor any one with a reasonable view of his newspapers and books; but when "Athenians" in pursuit of some novelty occupy his chair at unseasonable hours, placing their muddy feet upon his table, and finally walking off with a choice volume from his library, he respectfully begs them to pause. I sympathized with my friend, as far as it was in my power so to do, but I really couldn't help feeling a little guilty myself; for I had just been warming an easy chair belonging to a next door neighbor in the peculiar manner so feelingly described by my unfortunate visitor.

Mr. S. also experiences great uneasines of soul in relation to his financial affairs. Not only have the store-keepers, the "club-bearers," and the washer-women, combined to fleece him of all his worldly pelf; but several of his best friends have taken advantage of his good nature, he says, and have borrowed small sums from time to time, promising to return the money at an early day next week." These little operations took place at a very remote period of time, Mr. S. says; and he fears that the memory thereof has faded from the minds of his debtors. He states it as his opinion that when friends borrow money of one another, they should make payment in something more substantial than soft words and fair speeches. I must acknowledge that this is a very plausible theory, but I cannot, for one moment, think of subscribing to it, and I told my friend as much, in pretty plain language, too. He fretted and grumbled a little, but finally said that, though perhaps he was very peculiar in his views with respect to such matters, he was sure I would agree with him in his opinion of the vice of early rising. He said that he was in the habit of upholding the "powers that be," whenever his sense of self-respect would allow of such a course; but when they so far laid aside the rules of propriety as to enjoin the commission of early rising upon their disciples, all the finer feelings of his nature were outraged by the act. I ventured to quote the "fathers," in reply; but Mr. S. would not listen to the opinions of the "old fogies," as he irreverently termed those sages whose views have been rendered respectable by their antiquity, at least, if by no other cause. I lament the deplorable blindness of my friend. So resolute is his persistence in this course that it has already been the cause of several very unpleasant collisions with his superiors. This is a subject of bitter regret, for Mr. S. is a young man of correct morals and acute perceptions of right and wrong.

My friend's literary merits have failed of that appreciation which is their due. He says he spent a few leisure hours, the other day, in writing an article for publication in the QUARTERLY; and, though it had received the approbation of a large circle of admirers, the editors refused to insert it in their magazine. "And that, too, after I voted for them," says the indignant gentleman. Mr. S. is right in considering the editors a conceited set of humbugs, for I have myself had some experience with them. Their partiality is notorious, and I think that if they do not exercise more justice in

their dealings with contributors, they will be made to suffer. (Excuse me, Mr. Editor, I don't mean you; I mean the other editors.)

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Mr. S. feels much injured by the course which his instructors pursue towards him. He declares that he never can learn a language when only its corpse is presented for his contemplation, nor can he rightly admire the wonders of the celestial universe when he is compelled to view them through the medium of His statements may all be very true; but they will not influence public opinion in the least, for, as has been previously hinted, the views of Mr. S. are possessed of no importance whatsoever.

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I think, Mr. Editor, it is very clear that the character of my friend has not been estimated aright. I hope you will publish this letter, and in that way for once do the world some good. Very truly yours,

A CONTRIBUTOR.

College Intelligence.

BOTANY DAY was celebrated by the Juniors with the usual formalities, on the twentyfifth of June. The day was cool and pleasant, and the various excursions to the swamps and ponds of the surrounding country passed off without accident or adventure worthy of note.

THE elections of the literary societies were held at the usual time. We present our readers with the following list of officers for the ensuing term :

The MILLS THEOLOGICAL SOCIETY is still supported with that degree of interest which its ends so well deserve. The following gentlemen have been elected to preside over its councils :

The members of the LYCEUM Of Natural HisTORY are rejoicing in the prosperity of their Society. Jackson Hall is, at length, completed, and appears much improved by the new coat of paint with which its exterior has been adorned. The extensive collections made by the recent Expedition to Florida have been arranged in the lower part of the Hall, where they can be examined to the best advantage. Through the munificence of Nathan Jackson, Esq., the Society is now able to pursue its operations with unprecedented facility and success. The semi-annual election of officers was held, with the following result :

It is with great pleasure that we inform our readers that the FRANKLIN LIBRARY still occupies a prominent position. We understand that it is the intention of the directors to increase the library, during the coming year, and to provide such facilities as will render it, henceforth, valuable to members of the lower classes.

Franklin Library.

EDWARD PAYSON HUMPHREY,

WILLIE PHILLIPS STRICKLAND,

Librarian.
Treasurer.

THE GYMNASIUM is in its usual languishing condition. It is greatly to be regretted that one of our most important institutions should be so completely prostrated. We trust that the gentlemen whose names are given below will take efficient measures to awaken an interest in behalf of an institution which should be prized as highly as any other in our midst.