The hoggerd starde, and cride, If so you clepe They put upon him in the open daye, CAUGHT IN HIS OWN TRAP. Thomas Paine once asserted, in the presence of Dr. Walcot-better known in this country by the facetious name of Peter Pindar-that the minority in all deliberative bodies, ought in all cases to govern the majority. Peter smiled, "You must grant me," said Thomas, "that the proportion of men of sense, to the ignorant of mankind, is at least as twenty, thirty, or even forty-nine, to a hundred. The majority of mankind are, consequently, most prone to error; and, if we would achieve right, the minority ought, in all cases, to govern." Peter continued to smile archly. "If we look to experience," continued Paine, "for there are no conclusions, I more prize than those drawn, not from speculation, but plain matter of fact, we shall find on examination, the debates of all deliberative bodies in our favour. To proceed no further than your country, Dr. Walcot-I love to look at home-suppose the resolutions of the houses of Lords and Commons, had been determined by this salutary rule; why, the sensible minority would have governed-George Washington would have been a private citizen, and the United States of America mere colonies dependent on the British crown. "As a patriotic Englishman, will you not confess, that this would have been better than to have these United States independent, with the illustrious Washington at their head, by their wisdom confounding the juggling efforts of your ministry to embroil them; and to have the comfortable prospect before you, that, from the extent of their territory, their maritime resources, their natural increase, the asylum they offer to emigrants, in the course of two centuries, Scotland and Ireland, if the United States have not too much real pride to attempt it, may be reduced to the same dependence upon them as your West India islands now have upon you; and even England, haughty England! thrown in as a make-weight in the future treaty, between them and the French Nation?" Peter, who had listened with great seeming attention, all this while,-now mildly replied, "I will not say but that your arguments are cogent, though not entirely convincing. As it is a subject rather out of my line, I will, for form sake, hold the negative of your proposition, and leave it to the good company present to declare which is right." "Agreed;" said Paine, who saw himself surrounded by his admirers. "Well, gentlemen," said Peter, (with all the gravity of a speaker of the House of Commons) "you that are of the opinion that the minority in all deliberate bodies, ought in all cases to govern the majority, please to rise in the affirmative." Paine immediately stood up himself, and, as he had foreseen-all rose up in his favour, "Then I rise in the negative," cried Peter, I am the wise minority, who ought in all cases to govern your ignorant majority; and, consequently, upon your own principles I carry the vote. Let it be recorded." This unexpected manœuvre raised a hearty laugh. Paine retired from the presence of the triumphant wit, mortified at being foiled with his own weapons. DENNIS O'CONNOR'S WILL. Copy of a paper written by a poor wretch in the county of Sligo, in Ireland, who put his resolve into execution just in the manner he himself mentions : (Superscription). This will be fownd after my deth, if thea look sharp. DENNIS O'CONNOR. As I noe the people that has fownd my carkase is curious about the manner of my deth, which is somethin out o' the way, I'll givv'em aul the satisfakshon in my power about itt, as I noe the hole matter from beginnin to end—which is my own misforthun that I marri'd a cross woman that's never plazed but when she's after vexin mee, and spending my substance, whereby I have bin reduced to grate shifts, as aul the wurld noes, and fader M'Donough in particular; so let that rest, for the leeste sayd the soonest mended, and I don't luv to be rippin up ould soares. It may be reported, as the world's grately giv'n to lying, that I dy'd by axident, but that's a misteak, for I throw'd myself into the rivver o' Wednesday eevnin, and so drounded miself of my oan ackord, being tier'd of the wurld, and fretted out of my life; and as the littel that's left of my substanse is not much, I hoap ther'l be no quarlin about my dispoassin of itt in the followin manner. Ther may bee in my britches pokket (as I put thear all I cood geat togedder) about somethin less than half a ginny in silver and sixpenses, wit some ha-pence; givv that to littel Dolly Maginnis at farmer Daly's; the peeple sayd, and so did my wyfe, that I was too fond of her; but that's a lye of her own inventin, and iff I was alive I'd say it to her fasse, so let noboddy go to reflect on her upon my ackount. Peter Doyle makes mee pay too much for my kabbin, and littel bitt of paꞌatygrownd belongin to itt, but I makes it anser by the chaytin the parson and one way or oder, so I leav it to my yongest son Robbin, becaze he's a cuter lad, and more goodnathurder, and I luvv him better nor Corney. As for him and his moder thea'll provide for themselves, I had enuff to do to mentain 'em during my life, and I'm sure I'll not truble my lied aboutt 'm now I'm ded. My sow and piggs and my crucifix, along with my bades, my tobaccostopper, my too hens, and my mass-book, I lave to fader Mac Donogh, for he's a good soal enuff at the bottom. My oak sapplin, my dog Smutt, my woollen night cap, and my razure, I givv to honest Toby Hooragan, for he's the best crathur that ever drew breth, tho' the people givvs out oderwise, bekaze he taaks a sup, and has turn'd his childer out o'doors: my best shurt I give to the same Toby Hooragan: as for the tuder it's the won I hav on now, and not worth any body's taakin, so I lave it to my wyfe that she may have no reason to complane. I forgivv aul the world exceptin my wyf, and her I forgivv too, but itt's against my will, and only to humour fader Mac Donogh. I bore an indifferent good karackter while I was alive, and wu'd hav nokk'd the biggest man down that darr'd say a wurd against itt, but now Ime deed thea may say what thea plaze, and to be sure thea'l say bad enuff. I dye in charity wid every body, and wish well to such as had a regard for mee; as for the rest, may the grass groe before thear door. I don't care three straws where thea berry me, so as thea doan't let my carps stap in the water, for I woodn't like to be ett by the fishes; of the too Ide rader the crows had mee, bekaze its more nathural: thea'll have no pretense for anatomizin mee, and the rest Ime pretty easy about. I didn't think to say half so much, but as its likely to bee the last time I shall set pen to paper, I was willin to taak my fill of itt; and as to the makin away wid myself and the like of that, its no more than what evvery body has a right to doo; and as for that matter I noe I sha'nt be mist, for the parson, in one of his kross fits t'oder day, tould me I was littel good for, the neger r! As to good nathur indeed, I nevvur had much to sparre, but I aulways tuk caare of won, for its sayd some whcare that charity begins at home. If I walk after my deth, I'll haunt my wyfe to vex her. I was divvided betwixt hanging and drownding, and sadly trubbled which to chuse, and at last I resolved upon thiss way that I havv taken, and as I thaut it wasn't quite so vulgar as toder; for thea hang clippers, and koiners, and teeves, and murtherurs, but nevver droun em. So I depparted this lyfe in the fortyaiht year of my age, without wincing or wining, but like a man at my oan free moshan and choyce. As I have roat this payper aul with my oane hand and sett my name both att the beginnin and end of itt, that my wyfe and Corny mayn't say that itts a forghery, for thea are cappable of anny thing that's spyteful and contreary, and so no more att present from me. DENNIS O'Connor. A GERMAN PALACE. The Tales current all over the world as to the indigence of the petty German princes are far from being fabulous: even the Germans delight to tell you how the Prince of Lippe's cavalry consists of two horses and three troopers, and how on "field days" a plank has to be arranged between the couple of chargers, so that these same three gallant troopers may appear duly mounted on those same too hack war horses, duly caparisoned (with cord bridle and stirrups) for the imposing occasion. How much truth, or how much badinage there may be in the anecdote we cannot certify, never having visited the principality (!) which is said to be hardly bigger than the Isle of Dogs. But we do know from the avouchment of our own eyesight, that the chambers of the palace at Reinhardtsbrunu (where the Queen of England was located last autumn) were neither so decent, so tidy, nor so well furnished as those of a model lodging-house in London. We had occasion to visit some members of the household during Her Majesty's residence at the mountain-castle of the Duke of Coburg Gotha, and the rooms we found our friends housed in were assuredly not half so comfortable as those of an English journeyman carpenter. Not a strip of carpet was there to cover the rough boards of the floor; and the furniture, which consisted merely of a wardrobe, a table, and a few chairs, would hardly have found a purchaser in our Broker's Alley. Indeed every member of the Queen's Establishment (male as well as female) we know for a fact, was utterly horrified at the mere styes of dwellings that the German princes were willing to feed and sleep in. Mayhew. A STRANGE ESCAPE FROM DEATH. The following remarkable incident occurred in the winter of 1783-4. An honest, industrious man, at Wrangle, in the county of Lincolnshire, called John Swaytham, having been out collecting fodder for cattle, one morning, on his return, diverted himself, with a companion, who had been similarly engaged, by jumping on and off floating pieces of ice, which by the extreme severity of the weather were of an unusually large size. In the course of his jumping from the bank to the ice, it happened that the piece on which he stood, had floated unperceived some distance away from the bank, so that he dared not jump back again; he called to his companion. for assistance, which he found it impossible to afford. In this alarming situation, he was seen (not only by the man who was with him, but by several more of the inhabitants of Wrangle), to be carried directly out to sea. The tide being on the ebb, they watched him until he disappeared, and not one doubted but he was drowned. The poor man's wife was informed of what had occurred, and she was involved in the greatest misery, by being so suddenly deprived of a good husband, by whose hard labor she and her family of several children were supported ; and now, by this melancholy accident, left destitute of even the means of subsistence. To the unspeakable surprise of every one, about midnight, the man returned, and after knocking at the door of his cottage for some time, a neighbour who had sat up with the broken hearted widow (as she believed herself to be), looked out of the window, and seeing Swaytham by the light of the moon, imagined she saw the poor man's apparition, and was terrified to such a degree, that she fell down in a swoon. The man repeated his knocks at the door, and begged, with the remains of his exhausted strength, that he might be admitted into the house, for he was very cold and wearied; the wife, alarmed, knew his voice, ran and opened the door, and admitted her husband whom she supposed she had lost. The inhabitants of the little village were as much excited over Swaytham's return, as they had been at his supposed loss, and many left their beds to see him. After he had partaken of some refreshment, and his benumbed limbs were a little relieved from the pain they were in, the people were desirous to know the adventures of a jaunt upon a vehicle so uncommon, when the two elements seemed so determined upon his destruction; for during that day it had blown with much impetuosity, and was withal, so intensely cold, that scarce such another severe day had been felt during the winter. He told them he had been tossed about at sea upon the ice, and expected every moment to be his last; cach bellowing wave threatened him with destruction. The fork he had when he embarked, proved of the utmost service to his preservation, for by its means he kept himself from being driven off the ice, and when the waves, or the wind permitted the block to be a little steady, he kept up the circulation of his blood by jumping and stamping on it. At the return of the tide, which was assisted by a strong wind, he was floated back to the very spot where he had embarked. Thus was this poor fellow restored to his wife and family, after labouring under, for near sixteen hours, the horrors of death, which every succeeding moment rendered more dreadful. HISTORY OF A CO-OPERATIVE SOCIETY. The condition of the labouring classes has long been a question of great difficulty in this country. Once on a time the suffering labourers presented themselves at the monastic door to receive the usual dole; and when the monasteries hal neglected their high calling, and were suppressed, then stringent poor-laws were passed, and long remained in force; but yet the labouring class was a most miserable class somehow or other; and as years went on, men of tender hearts looked on the sufferings of this class, and on the surplus of the higher class, and questioned the justice of the arrangement; then they would rush at a remedy, which would make matters worse. Such men have given us Communistic schemes, quite impracticable, but not deserving the sncers and sarcasms of many who had not a tithe of the tenderness and talent of men who dared to grapple, however feebly, with an enormous evil. Legislation has likewise dabbled in the matter, with about as much success as might be expected. Wages have been vainly maximum'd' and 'minimum'd,'-parish allowances have had their day; and it seemed as if the thing were hopeless, and the labouring class, as a class, were doomed to poverty and distress. But happily one source of relief had been left untried, and that was the labourers themselves; for since the time that self-help began to be prominent, we have had Savings Banks, and various self-supporting institutions. In addition to these, a great and momentous movement is now in full play, concerning which unfortunately much ignorance prevails, which seems to be working out the great problem rapidly in a way of its own. To this movement I wish to call attention by relating the history of the representative of the movement, perhaps the most astonishing instance of success to be found anywhere. I must take my readers to Rochdale, in Lancashire, as far back as the fall of the A few flannel-weavers are on year 1843. strike, and various schemes are proposed to improve their condition, and that of the working world generally. In anticipation of some resolve being come to, they agree to subscribe not less than twopence each, week by week. Eight and twenty at twopence a week to work a social revolution! For a year the twopences accumulate, and by that time the grand conclusion has been come to. They are going to reform the working-man's world, not by Socialism, mind; no, but as follows; and if you will take the trouble to accompany me through a few figures, you will admire the flannelweavers, or the fault will be mine. These potent twopences then, which at length amounted to £28, were employed in purchasing certain goods, to be sold at a store to the subscribers, who got themselves formed into a society, and enrolled as "The Rochdale Equitable Pioneers Society." The objects proposed were, to sell good provisions, to build model cottages, to engage in manufacture, to rent an estate or estates of land, and finally to make a new arrangement of the social system by fairly earned profits. What a programme! and all with £28 made up of twopences. Well, our flannel weavers purchased their articles; and one cold night in December 1844, opened their store in Toad lane (never mind the name). They were sure of eight and twenty customers. So they began; and more, they went on. But let it not be supposed they had no difficulties in the way of their going on. Far from it; for they had among them some of that class which most people know; a class of men who are haunted with the fear that everything they happen to be connected with, is going to the bad; and if the catastrophe they always apprehend does come, they comfort themselves with the knowledge that they foresaw it, managing to forget however that their very foresight contributed no little to the final break-up. But in spite of alarmists, poverty, professional opposition and ridicule, the Rochdale Society went on and prospered. A figure or two will prove this. We have seen that the first capital was £28, and the number of members 28. At the end of last year the number of members was 4013, the capital £42,817, the receipts at the stores for the year were £158,632, and the profits £19,670. The store business is divided into six departments, grocery, drapery, tailoring, butchering, clogging (perhaps some of my readers may have heard the clatter of Lancashire clogs), and shoemaking. Moreover, out of the profits, an educational department is maintained, where books, newspapers, and scientific instruments and objects are supplied, and lectures delivered. At the present moment the Society possesses three news rooms, and is building a couple more. There is also a library of 5000 volumes free to the members of the Society. Lately the Rochdale Pioneers gave to their town a drinking fountain, and acted honourably during the distress. Space forbids me to say more concerning the success of this astonishing society. But I may state that in 1850, a corn-mill was started on the co-operative principle. |