CHAPTER X.

O

MR. FIGGINS RESOLVES TO GIVE A PARTY.

NLY think, father,' exclaimed Mrs. Figgins, as her husband entered the shop, and commenced emptying his coat pockets on to the counter of an assortment of cowries and other small specimens of conchology, purchased of a sailor on his way home, and to be retailed to connoisseurs in such articles in the neighbourhood,' only think, the Bodkins had a large party last night, and they owing us, and not one of us asked to it!'

'I s'pose they think they're above us now, mother, 'cos they've gone into the chandlery and coals line,' chimed in Jake, the eldest boy, a comely-looking lad. 'People oughtener forget what they were, though, and how they made theirselves. We don't have two bottoms to our peck,—do we, mother?'

'Hush!' said Mrs. Figgins. 'Little boys should speak when they're spoken to. But I s'pose it's people that don't pay their debts that can give parties.' Mrs. Figgins was unconsciously indulging in what she reprobated in Jake.

'Oh, well, ma,' said a prepossessing young lady standing at the further end of the counter, and who during her father's absence had attended to the shop, 'I daresay they mean to pay.'

"O yes, mean to,' said Jake, unable to wait till he was spoken to; 'in course they do ; that's very like a whale. Then why don't she?'

'Ah! Jake's right,-why don't she?' said Mr. Figgins, seating himself on a box and wiping the bald part of his head with his handkerchief,' why don't she?'

'And then father could give a party too,' added the boy, encouraged by the paternal approval of his view of the case. 'Couldn't ye, father?'

'Oh, we'll give a party some day,' said Mrs. Figgins in a laughing tone.

'We'll give one to-morrow,' said Mr. Figgins, looking very much like an injured man, and then we'll show 'em what's what.'

'Oh, ah!' said Jake, clapping his hands, 'so we will;' and, seizing his hat, was about rushing out to communicate the decision to all his youthful friends around, in order to its more rapidly reaching the ears of the Bodkins, but was called back by Mrs. Figgins, who ventured to express a fear 'that father could not afford it just now, as they had not sold much this week.'

'Hafford it! that's just you,-hallers a 'arping on that string. Vell, if I hain't no richer, I won't be no poorer for it; an' 'sides, I've fixed her, and ve'll make Mother Bodkins pay for it;' and he looked quite knowingly.

'Fixed who?' said Arabella, the young lady just mentioned.

Mr. Figgins pursed up his lips, shook his head, and frowned; whilst his audience looked askance at one another, and then at him, awaiting a further explanation when it should please the great man to afford it. After keeping them duly in suspense, he addressed Miss Figgins.

'Knowed I'd be driven to it, though yer mother hadwised so 'ard agen it.'

'Why, pa, what have you done?' said the young lady, somewhat alarmed, as indeed were the rest.

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'What 'ave I done?—what-'ave-I-done?' said Mr. Figgins, very slowly pronouncing each word, and then stopping short, thereby keeping the ladies in torturing suspense, but which Jake, impatient of the withheld information, volunteered to relieve.

'I know!' and as he drew the attention of all on himself, added, 'ordered the goodies for the party. Didn't ye, father?' 'What's the boy talking on?' said Mr. Figgins.

'Well, then, you've done something,' said Jake.

Mr. Figgins shook his head again, and, looking very solemnly at the boy, said, 'Jake, you're more wiser nor the whole kit. You'll be a man afore your mother and sister. You're right, Jake, for once,-I 'ave done something.'

'Do tell us, father, what you're talking about,' said Miss Figgins, as she threw herself on his knee and began smoothing his hair.

'Put her to the law,' said he in a stern voice, and then looked around to observe the effect of his announcement.

'Put her to the law!' repeated Arabella and her mother

together, in surprise. You don't mean to say that?' added the former.'

'I do, though. I hain't goin' to be trifled with no more.'

'And is she there now?' said Jake, under the impression that Mrs. Bodkins had in some mysterious way been disposed of. May I go and see her? Ain't I glad! How long will you keep her there, father?'

'Till she pays hall of it,―hevery single 'apenny ;-I von't take hoff a farthing.'

'All, and every', and off, pa,-not hall and hevery,' said Miss Figgins, correcting him.

'Vell, hall and hevery, if you like,' said Mr. Figgins.

'You'll not be too hard on the poor woman,' interposed Mrs. Figgins.

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No, don't, pa,' said Arabella, laying her cheek against his. 'May be it might not be convenient to pay it all at once.'

'It'll be werry convenient,' said he. 'I von't reduct one farden.' 'Won't, pa,' said Arabella, again correcting.

"Vell, won't, then, if you'll have it so. So she needn't to try to palmer off no 'scuses on me.-Giving her parties, as Jake says!' and he looked at Jake, counting on his support.

'But why didn't ye put her there before the party, father?' said Jake.

'What's the boy talking on?' said Mr. Figgins, not relishing this imputation on his sagacity.

'But, pa,' said the young lady, as she took his hard fist into her small delicate hand, and pretended to beat it, 'be a good, dear old pa, and don't be naughty; or else-mind now.' And then, smiling in his face, added, 'You won't be hard on her, will you?'

'No, I von't, not if I can't help it. Now, look here, Bella, it's no use yer mother and you agoin' on like that,-it don't hargify that,' and he snapped his fingers. 'She's got to pay.'

Oh, how dreadfully you talk!' said Miss Figgins, rising from his knee and withdrawing to the back of the counter in a pet. 'I don't know what's a matter with you this morning.'

'Matter! if you only know'd the 'alf.'

'What did she do, father?' said Jake.

'Do! I can't tell ye the 'alf that owdacious woman were a-goin' to do; but Mr. 'Awkes and Hoctavy '—at the mention of this last name Miss Figgins recovered her good-humour-' was too many for her; and on'y for them somebody might 'ave been a vidow

and horphans.' Mr. Figgins looked mysteriously up at the ceiling, slightly in imitation of the attorney.

Mrs. Figgins and Arabella regarded him with an anxious look, whilst Jake looked at each by turns; and, concluding Mrs. Bodkins had interfered in the consummation of something his father considered desirable, he asked,—

'And can't they be now, father?'

Mr. Figgins looked at him severely and frowned, and his mother again reminded him that boys should only speak when spoken to,—an axiom that boys are always at war with, but one that, on such occasions as the present, Mrs. Figgins herself followed to advantage, always learning more than she would by questioning.

They're goin' to make a fishskin,-no, that ain't it. If that boy ud on'y 'old his tongue, he confuzeells me. They're goin' to make a fixture in the law of her, an' I see'd Skeggs a makin' it out on to a sheepskin.'

'On to a sheepskin, pa!' said Arabella; what's that?'

'Oh, you vimmen don't know the 'alf as are goin' on in the vorld,' said Mr. Figgins, quite elated at the vantage this fresh acquisition to his own knowledge was giving him. 'Pend on it that sheepskin 'll fix her, an' she won't give no more parties.'

'Are they going to make a baa-lamb of her, father?' said the irrepressible Jake, who during this last piece of information had been listening, his mouth wide open with astonishment.

Mr. Figgins, however, only shook his head significantly, and said, "They're goin' to make a fixture-in-the-law of her.' With which piece of information all parties had to be content, as any attempt at explanation might have confused Mr. Figgins again.

So Jake repeated to himself at sundry times the words, 'Law -fixture at law,' until its meaning resolved itself into a gibbet, similar to those memorials he had seen on an excursion down the river, and to which, he was informed, though now only a few links of chain remained, the bodies of some river pirates had been suspended, thereby adding much to the interest and beauty of the scenery along the banks of the Thames.

'But how will they do it, pa, with a sheepskin?' said Miss Arabella, hoping to obtain some light on this feature of the odd transaction.

Mr. Figgins scratched his head and looked posed, and then added, 'Vell, I'd say that's a werry 'ard question.'

'Very, pa, you mean,' said Miss Figgins.

'Yes, that's what I said,—a werry 'ard question; and so it is.' And as any further attempt at enlightenment respecting the predicament into which Mrs. Bodkins had been thrown through the agency of Messrs. Hawkes and Skeggs only added to the unintelligibleness thereof, and increased Mr. Figgins' confusion, the ladies forebore further catechizing, consoling themselves that it would come out, in some way or other, before long.

A few particulars respecting the Figgins family are necessary before proceeding further. Mr. Figgins carried on business under the sign of the 'Battle and the Breeze,' which sign was suspended from an iron bar projecting on to the street, whereon the battle was represented by a large quantity of red and yellow flame, issuing out of the sides of two Noah's arks, that were blazing away at each other without any visible effect, and apparently unmoved by wind or wave; the strength of the breeze being shown by the cocked hat of the commander of one of the strange craft being blown into the water, whilst he, the commander, the only person visible on either of the vessels, with sword in hand, in a very wild state, seemed about to leap after it. Above the window were the words, Variety Store;' and which variety consisted in all kinds of sailors' knick-knacks, described on the handbills and door-posts as hold-alls, thumbstalls, tobacco-pouches, jack-knives, pocket-handkerchiefs, bearing thereon the colours of all nations, or ships in full sail with mermaids by their sides, with which sailors were presumed to be quite familiar; glazed hats, socks, braces, a luxury, though rarely indulged in, yet invariably forming part of the sea kit,-blackingbrushes, needles, thread, and other articles too numerous to mention, not forgetting Dibdin's songs.

In addition to what has been said of Mrs. Figgins, it may be remarked that she retained evidences of having been a goodlooking young woman; and though once possessing a fair share of animal spirits, the rough experience acquired by years of struggling with adverse circumstances, and the care of a small family, had sobered her down to a quiet, thoughtful person, intent only on ministering to the comfort and enjoyment of her easygoing husband and her well-cared for children (whose general demeanour witnessed to their good training), consisting, in addition to Arabella and Jake, of a younger boy and girl, called Benny and Toddles. Heretofore they had enjoyed such little and simple pleasures as their means afforded, without poisoning