certain suspicious phenomena which strike him on his coming home: "Hame came our gudeman at e'en, And hame came he, And there he saw a pair o' boots, Where nae the boots should be. And how came these boots here, And how came thae boots here Without the leave of me?' 'Boots!' quo' she; (with amazement) Aye, boots!' quo' he. 'Ye auld blind dotard carle, And blinder mat ye be! (indignantly) It's but a pair o' water-stoups, My minnie sent to me.' 'Water-stoups?' quo' he, 'Aye, water-stoups;' quo' she." (with impudent determination). And so in like manner she unblushingly persists, in order to preserve her guest's life, that a saddle-horse is a milking cow, and a man's coat a pair of blankets. Now we are sure this dear woman had a Celestial Nose; nothing else would have had the ready wit and the impudent assurance to attempt to befool her gudeman, and to persist, with the addition of no slight abuse of his dotard blindness, in her palpable falsehoods; yet we defy any one not to love the good woman, and excuse her breaches of morality for the sake of her hospitable benevolence. We are conscious that in discussing female Noses, we are treading on delicate ground. It is a difficult and nervous subject. We have endeavoured, however, to say nothing but what appeared to us to be plain truth. Nevertheless we would apologize if we have given offence to any one, were it not that we forcibly feel the truth of the homely adage, "the least said the soonest mended," and therefore hasten to close a chapter which has given us more trouble and anxiety than all the rest together. CHAPTER IX. OF NATIONAL NOSES. THE reader will probably have been led from the nomenclature, to inquire whether the assertion that certain forms of Nose are justly named after certain nations might not be extended further? and whether every nation has not a characteristic Nose? The reply to these questionings would be in the affirmative. Every nation has a characteristic Nose; and the less advanced the nation is in civilization, the more general and perceptible is the characteristic form. While nations are in their infancy, and the mass of the people are uninformed, the features, re ceiving no impressions from within, take the form impressed from without, and follow the national type. If one uniform state of things— of government, climate, and habits-continue, without education, generation may succeed generation and the original facial type of the race will remain. If, however, the national circumstances alter (still without general education) the national features follow the type impressed by those circumstances. We have appealed to many instances of these simultataneous national changes when describing the different forms of Noses prevalent at different periods of English history. When however education becomes general, nations lose these national typical features; for the physiognomy becomes so variously impressed from within, according to the different bias and affections of men's minds, that it ceases to receive those impressions from without, which generate national types. At present, however, there is so little generally diffused education that the typical features of most nations may yet be defined. race. These are not always the original types of the Numerous circumstances have among the more civilized nations contributed to produce changes of greater or less magnitude. The various Caucasian nations, for instance, though all descended from one stock, have mostly lost their original type in their various migrations from the plains of Asia, and received such typical form as varying circumstances have since impressed. Hence the various Caucasian nations of Europe and Western Asia differ considerably from each in mental and bodily organization. These variations from the original type took place, however, at so early a period, even in the ante-historical period, that historians are apt to regard them as as original and innate; and perhaps it is most convenient for them to do so. But this is not sufficient for the inquirer into the Races of Men. He goes back to ages far beyond the historical, or even the mythic, period; and, finding these nations are descended from one family, perceives that the present variations must |