HE ESSAY LII. OF CEREMONIES AND RESPECTS." E that is only real had need have exceeding great parts of virtue, as the stone had need to be rich that is set without foil; but if a man mark it well, it is in praise and commendation of men as it is in gettings and gains; for the proverb is true, 'That light gains make heavy purses,' for light gains come thick, whereas great come but now and then; so it is true, that small matters win great commendation, because they are continually in use and in note, whereas the occasion of any great virtue cometh but on festivals. Therefore it doth much add to a man's reputation, and is (as Queen Isabella said) like perpetual letters commendatory, to have good forms. To attain them, it almost sufficeth not to despise them; for so shall a man observe them in others, and let him trust himself with the rest; for if he labour too much to express them, he shall lose their grace, which is to be natural and unaffected. Some men's behaviour is like a verse, wherein every syllable is measured. How can a man comprehend great matters, that breaketh his mind too much to small observations ? Not to use ceremonies at all, is to teach others not to use them again, and so diminish respect to himself; especially they are not to be omitted to strangers and formal natures; but the dwelling upon them, and exalting them above the moon, is not only tedious, but both diminish the faith and credit of him that speaks; and, certainly, there is a kind of conveying of effectual and imprinting passages amongst compliments, which is of singular use, if a man can hit upon it. Amongst a man's peers a man shall be sure of familiarity, and therefore it is good a little to keep state; amongst 1 Ceremonies and respects. Conventional forms of politeness, and rules of etiquette. The sauce to meat is ceremony ; Meeting were bare without it.'-Shakespere. 'What art thou, thou idle ceremony? Art thou aught else but place, degree and form ?'—Shakespere. The Duke's carriage to the gentlemen was of fair respects.'-Wotton. 2 Observations. Observances. external observation.'- White. * Imprinting. Impressive. He freed the christian Church from the a man's inferiors one shall be sure of reverence, and therefore it is good a little to be familiar. He that is too much in any thing, so that he giveth another occasion of satiety, maketh himself cheap. To apply one's self to others is good, so it be with demonstration, that a man doth it upon' regard and not upon facility. It is a good precept generally in seconding another, yet to add somewhat of one's own; as if you will grant his opinion, let it be with some distinction; if you will follow his motion, let it be with condition; if you allow his counsel, let it be with alleging farther reason. Men had need beware how they be too perfect in compliments, for be they never so sufficient otherwise, their enviers will be sure to give them that attribute, to the disadvantage of their greater virtues. It is loss also in business to be too full of respects, or to be too curious3 in observing times and opportunities. Solomon saith, ‘He that considereth the wind shall not sow, and he that looketh to the clouds shall not reap." A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. Men's behaviour should be like their apparel, not too strait or point device, but free for exercise or motion. ANTITHETA ON CEREMONIES AND RESPECTS. 1 Upon. In consequence of. See page 425. 2 Sufficient. Able. Who is sufficient for these things ?-2 Cor. ii. 16. 3 Curious. Exact; precise. Both these senses embrace their objects with a more curious discrimination.'-Holder. 4 Eccles. xi. 4 5 Point device. Extremely exact (with the nicety and precision of a stitch (French point) devised or made with the needle). Everything about you should demonstrate a careless desolation; but you are rather point de rise in your accoutrements, as loving yourself, than the lover of another.'-Shakespere. ANNOTATIONS. Good manners are a part of good morals; and when form is too much neglected true politeness suffers diminution; then we are obliged to bring some back, or we find the want of them. The same holds good in a higher department. Mankind are not formed to live without ceremony and form: the inward spiritual grace' is very apt to be lost without the 'external visible sign.' Many are continually setting up for the expulsion of ceremonies from this or that, and often with advantage, when they have so multiplied as to grow burdensome; but, if ever they have carried this too far they have been forced to bring back some ceremonies. Upon the whole, we may conclude that ceremony and form of every kind derive their necessity from our imperfection. If we were perfectly spiritual, we might worship God without any form at all, without even uttering words; as we are not, it is a folly to say, 'One may be just as pious on one day as another, in one place, or posture, as another,' &c., I answer, angels may; man cannot. Again, if we were all perfectly benevolent, good-tempered, attentive to the gratifying of others, &c., we might dispense with all the forms of goodbreeding; as it is, we cannot; we are not enough of heroes to fight without discipline. Selfishness will be sure to assail us if we once let the barriers be broken down. At the same time it is evident from what has been said, that the higher our nature is carried, the less form we need. But though we may deservedly congratulate society on being able to dispense with this or that ceremony, do not let us be in a hurry to do so, till we are sure we can do without it. It is taking away crutches, to cure the gout. The opposite extreme of substituting the external form for the thing signified, is not more dangerous or more common than the neglect of that form. It is all very well to say, 'There is no use in bidding goodmorrow or good-night, to those who know I wish it; of sending one's love, in a letter, to those who do not doubt it,' &c. this sounds very well in theory, but it will not do for practice. Scarce any friendship, or any politeness, is so strong as to be able to subsist without any external supports of this kind; and it is even better to have too much form than too little. H H All It is worth observing in reference to conventional forms, that the vernacular tongue,' in which the forms of civility are expressed, differs in different times and places. For instance, in Spain it is a common form of civility to ask a man to dinner, and for the other to reply, 'Sure you would not think of such a thing.' To accept a first or second invitation would be as great a blunder as if, among us, any one who signed himself 'your obedient servant' should be taken literally, and desired to perform some menial office. If a Spanish gentleman really means to ask you to dinner, he repeats the invitation a third time; and then he is to be understood literally. Serious errors may, of course, arise in opposite ways, by not understanding aright what is and is not to be taken as a mere complimentary form. ESSAY LIII. OF PRAISE. RAISE is the reflection of virtue, but it is as the glass, or PRAISE body, which giveth the reflection; if it be from the common people, it is commonly false and naught, and rather followeth vain persons than virtuous: for the common people understand not many excellent virtues: the lowest virtues draw praise from them, the middle virtues work in them astonishment or admiration; but of the highest virtues they have no sense or perceiving at all; but shows, and species virtutibus similes'' serve best with them. Certainly, fame is like a river, that beareth up things light and swollen, and drowns things weighty and solid; but if persons of quality and judgment concur, then it is (as the scripture saith) Nomen bonum instar unguenti fragrantis ;' it filleth all round about, and will not easily away;" for the odours of ointments are more durable than those of flowers. 6 There be so many false points of praise, that a man may justly hold it in suspect. Some praises proceed merely of flattery; and if it be an ordinary flatterer, he will have certain common attributes, which may serve every man; if he be a cunning flatterer, he will follow the arch-flatterer, which is a man's self, and wherein a man thinketh best of himself, therein the flatterer will uphold him most: but if he be an impudent flatterer, look wherein a man is conscious to himself that he is most defective, and is most out of countenance in himself, that will the flatterer entitle him to, perforce, 'Spreta conscientia.” Some praises come of good wishes and respects, which is a form due in civility to kings and great persons, laudando præcipere;' when by telling them what they are, they represent to them 1 Naught. Worthless; despicable. See page 333; 2 Perceiving. Perception. 3 Appearances like virtues. 4A good name is like a fragrant ointment.'-Eccles. vii. I. 5 Away. Pass away. 'I have a pain upon my forehead here, Why that's with watching; 'twill away again.’—Shakespere. 6 Suspect. Suspicion. 8 To instruct in praising. 7 Despising conscience.' |