compassion, taking out his pencil, he wrote the following infallible prescription for such cases, addressed to his banker-" Pay the bearer £10."

NOVEL PAYMENT OF A DEBT.

That celebrated Cantab-" O rare Ben Jonson," was one day invited to dine with a vintner, in whose books his name had appeared on the debtor's side for no inconsiderable period, without any equivalent being likely to appear under the term creditor. The wine, a beverage of which our poet was not a little fond, had gone merrily round, when the vintner declared he would forgive Ben his debt, if he could immediately answer him the following questions :-" What God is best pleased with? What the devil is best pleased with ?-What the world is best pleased with ?—And what he was best pleased with?" Ben, under the inspiration of the jolly god, gave an immediate answer in the following admirable impromptu :

"God is best pleased when men forsake their sin;

The devil's best pleased when they persist therein; The world's best pleased when thou dost sell good wine; And you're best pleased when I do pay for mine."

A FOOL CONFIRMED.

That Dr. Parr is neither very choice nor delicate in his epithets, when his temper-ature is raised above summer heat, is no secret to those who may have fallen under

his lash. He once called a clergyman a fool, and there was probably some truth in his application of the word. The clergyman, however, being of a different opinion, declared he would complain to the bishop of the usage. "Do so," added the learned Grecian, "and my Lord Bishop will confirm you."

PORSON OR THE DEVIL.

Porson was once travelling in a stage-coach, when a young Oxonian, fresh from college, was amusing the ladies with a variety of small talk, to which he added a quotation, as he said, from Sophocles. A Greek quotation, and in a stage-coach too, roused our professor, who, in a dog-sleep, was slumbering in one corner of the vehicle. Rubbing his eyes, "I think, young gentleman," said Porson, “you just now favoured us with a quotation from Sophocles; I don't happen to recollect it there." "Oh? Sir," replied the Oxonian, "the quotation is word for word as I repeated it, and in Sophocles too; but I suspect, Sir, it is some time since you were at college." Porson, applying his hand to his great coat, took out a small pocket edition of Sophocles, and handed it to our tyro, saying he should be much obliged if he would show him the passage in that little book. Having rummaged the pages for some time, Upon second thoughts," said the Oxonian, "I now recollect 'tis in Euripides."-" Then," said the professor, putting his hand into his pocket, and handing him a similar edition of that author," perhaps you will be so good as to find it for me in that little book."--He re

turned again to his task, but with no better success, muttering to himself—“ Curse me if ever I quote Greek again in a coach." The ladies tittered: at last, "Bless me, Sir," said he, "how dull I am! I recollect now,yes, yes, I perfectly remember, the passage is in Æschylus." This inexorable professor applied again to his inexhaustable pocket, and was in the act of handing an Eschylus to the astonished freshman, when he vociferated "Stop the coach,-hollo,—coachman let me out, I say,-instantly let me out; there's a fellow here has got the whole Bodleian Library in his pocket; let me out, I say let me out, he must be Porson or the Devil;"

Of this distinguished character, the following is a classical anecdote, related of the early proof he gave of his acute and extraordinary talents. When at a public school, the following subject for a theme was handed to him by the master :

"Casare occiso, an Brutus benefecit, aut malefecit."

A game being proposed, he joined the sports among the rest of the scholars, and the theme was forgot. When called upon for his performance, he was astonished, on reference to his writing-folio, to find it quite unprepared; the call, however, was imperative, and the moments but few and precious,-indeed, so few as to preclude the possibility of a laboured article; and, snatching up a pen, he scrawled the following, which he handed to the master, and which was received with no small surprise, though with infinite satisfaction ::

"Nec bene-fecit, nec male-fecit, sed interfecit."

C. versus K.

A country gentleman, who had turned his attention to letters, wrote to a learned Johnian, now resident in Cambridge, desiring his opinion, as to whether C, in the word stoicism, ought not to be pronounced like K. To which the Cantab returned the following laconic an

swer:

"Had Kikero (Cicero) been an Englishman, I do not think we should have met with Stoikism, Kritikism, Astrikism, or any other kism in his writings."

PRAISE OF CAMBRIDGE ALE.

Cambridge ale, particularly " Audit," has been long celebrated for its inspiring qualities. A certain Trinitarian, who, though no barker, is well known among the literati for his classical acumen, on receiving a present of Audit, exclaimed :

"All hail to the ale! It sheds a halo round my head."

ARCHBISHOP MOUNTAIN.

This reverend prelate raised himself, by his remarkably facetious turn, from being the son of a humble individual, to the valuable see of Durham. In the reign of George the Second, the see of York becoming vacant, the king, being at a loss for a fit person to fill so exalted a situation, asked the opinion of the doctor, who

wittily replied to the query of his majesty, by the following appropriate quotation from Scripture.-"Hadst thou faith as a grain of mustard seed, thou wouldst say to this Mountain," laying his hand on his breast as he spoke, "be removed, and be cast into the sea (see)." The king laughed heartily at the conceit, and conferred the preferment on the doctor.

ALLITERATION.

Among the best specimens of alliteration, may be ranked the well-known lines on the celebrated Cardinal Wolsey:

"Begot by butchers, but by bishops bred,

How high his honour holds his haughty head!"

But the following unpublished "sally, by the erudite Dr. Parr, is not a whit inferior.-In a company consisting principally of divines, the conversation naturally turned on the merits of the late head of the church, who was thus characterized by the learned and eccentric doctor, in reply to one of the gentlemen :-" Sir, he is a poor paltry prelate, proud of petty popularity, and perpetually preaching to petticoats."

PORSON versus DR. JOWETT.

Dr. Jowett, who was a small man, and had an itching for the rus in urbe, was permitted by the head of his college to cultivate a strip of vacant ground. This gave