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The oppressor shrinks, the UNION is restored. The treasurer flies to spread the news he brings, And wears, for triumph's sake, yet larger clitterings.

III. 3.

"Fond impious man, think'st thou thy puny fist,
Thy Wood-en sword, has broke a British club?
The treasurer soon augments our growing list,
We rise more numerous from this transient rub.
Enough for me: with joy I see

The different dooms our fates assign;
Be thine contempt and big-wigg'd care,-
To triumph, and to die, are mine."

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He spoke, and headlong from the window's height, Deep in a dung-cart near, he plunged to endless night.†

PARR.

In his youthful days, the learned doctor happened to be present at a musical party, when a lady's MANTUA, unfortunately, swept from the table a valuable CREMONA, to her no small consternation, and the great grief of the musician. On this occasion, the facetious doctor made the happiest application of a passage of Virgil, on record:

"MANTUA ræ! misereræ nimium vicina CREMONE."

The UNION is now restored, but the discussions are restricted to political events previous to 1800.

PORSON.

Porson being at a party, where a certain classical lecturer, of Trinity College, was ridiculed for his pronunciation of nimirum (which he pronounced nimirum), pretended warmly to defend him, to the no small astonishment of his friends; and, being asked the reason, the Greek professor, with inimitable wit, replied," That it was by no means surprising that the learned lecturer had erred respecting this word, for that Horace himself had declared, in his Epistle to Claudius, that there was but one man in the Roman Empire who really understood it.

'Septimius, Claudi, nimirum intelligit unus.'"

THE CRAB-FISH.

The Greek professor, Porson, was very fond of crabfish, and, being at a friend's one night to sup, he intimated a wish to have his appetite indulged. This friend jocularly replied, that he should have the finest in St. James's Market, if he would go thither, buy, and bring it home, himself. Porson, to his astonishment, took him at his word, and marched through some of the gayest streets in London, with the crab under his arm.

CURIOUS EPITAPH.

We are confident our readers will require no apology for our introducing a grave subject amongst the facetia, when they read the following singular whim of a well

known Christian.

On the death of his wife, at an advanced age, he caused the following eccentric MEMENTO MORI to be inscribed on a marble slab, placed over her remains :

Mors loquitur.-UXOREM TENEO.
MARITUM EXPECTO.

Death speaks." I hold the wife! Expect the husband!”

This worthy divine, having arrived at a good old age, has lately resigned himself into the hands of his Redeemer, and the stone, now reversed, presents to the eye of the inquiring observer, an unpolished surface.-Requiescant in pace.

BOROUGH INTEREST.

The late Lord Sandwich, who was well known both at Eton and Cambridge by the cognomentum of "Jemmy Twitcher," having the privilege of appointing a chorister at Trinity College, presented that society with one not only ignorant of music, but also destitute of the three essentials necessary to make a singer,-voice, taste, and ear,—and for no other reason was he appointed, but because he had a vote for Huntingdon. This gave rise to the following pointed

EPIGRAM.

A singing man, and cannot sing,

From whence arose your patron's bounty?

Give us a song?" Excuse me, sir,

My voice is in another county."

EXTRAORDINARY ACT IN DIVINITY.

The following curious act in divinity, wherein Dr. John Davenant was respondent, and Dr. Richardson, amongst others, opponent, was kept at Cambridge, before King James. The question was maintained in the negative, concerning the excommunicating of kings. Dr. Richardson gravely pressed the practice of St. Ambrose, who excommunicated the Emperor Theodosius, so home, that the king, in a great passion, retorted,-" Profecto fuit hoc ab Ambrosio insolentissimè !" To this apothegm of his majesty, Dr. R-se joined,—“ Responsum verè regium, et Alexandro dignum, hoc non est argumenta dissolvere, sed dececare." And, sitting down, the doctor was silent.

PIGEON-SHOOTING.

A punning Cantab of our acquaintance, whose dexter we have often fisted, happened to be present when two gents made a match to shoot pigeons. The conversation turned on the choice of the breed, and one of the bettors named the blue-rock, as the best,-"They may be so," observed our friend Cantab," but, were I going to shoot, I should choose tumblers!"

SIR ISAAC NEWTON.

The following incidents are highly characteristic of the above recondite and celebrated Cantab, and show an amiable simplicity of manners, though an utter disregard

L

of worldly affairs, so much was he ever absorbed in his beloved philosophical pursuits. It is said, that Sir Isaac set out in life a professed and clamorous infidel, but that, on a close examination of the evidences of Christianity, he found reason, nor did he disdain, to retract his opinion. When the celebrated Dr. Edmund Halley was one day talking infidelity before him, Sir Isaac exclaimed,-" Man, you had better hold your tongue : you are talking about what you do not understand." So patient was this great man, not only in his pursuit of truth, but also in suffering under pain, that when, in his last illness, that of the stone, his agony was so great, that drops of sweat forced themselves through a double night-cap, which he wore, he never was heard to complain or cry out. Sir Isaac had a prism sent him from abroad, by a philosophical friend, which was at that time a very scarce commodity in England; and, being desired to say what the value of it was, by the customhouse officers, that they might be able to regulate the duty to be paid, the great man, whose business was more with the universe than with duties and drawbacks, rated the prism according to his own idea of its utility, and answered,-" Its value was so great, he could not ascertain it." Being again pressed for an estimate, he persisted in his former reply, and the result was, that he paid an exorbitant duty for what might have been taken away by paying a rate according to the simple weight of the glass. At another time, a favourite little dog, named Diamond, having, in his absence, entered his study, he found it, on his return, diverting itself with the remains of some valuable MSS., containing the memoranda of many years' laborious research, which it had already torn into a thousand pieces; but so great a com

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