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known Christian. On the death of his wife, at an advanced age, he caused the following eccentric MEMENTO MORI to be inscribed on a marble slab, placed over her remains:
Mors loquitur.-UXOREM TENEO.
Death speaks." I hold the wife! Expect the husband !”
This worthy divine, having arrived at a good old age, has lately resigned himself into the hands of his Redeemer, and the stone, now reversed, presents to the eye of the inquiring observer, an unpolished surface.― Requiescant in pace.
The late Lord Sandwich, who was well known both at Eton and Cambridge by the cognomentum of " Jemmy Twitcher," having the privilege of appointing a chorister at Trinity College, presented that society with one not only ignorant of music, but also destitute of the three essentials necessary to make a singer,-voice, taste, and ear,—and for no other reason was he appointed, but because he had a vote for Huntingdon. This gave rise to the following pointed
A singing man, and cannot sing,
From whence arose your patron's bounty?
Give us a song?" Excuse me, sir,
My voice is in another county."
EXTRAORDINARY ACT IN DIVINITY.
The following curious act in divinity, wherein Dr. John Davenant was respondent, and Dr. Richardson, amongst others, opponent, was kept at Cambridge, before King James. The question was maintained in the negative, concerning the excommunicating of kings. Dr. Richardson gravely pressed the practice of St. Ambrose, who excommunicated the Emperor Theodosius, so home, that the king, in a great passion, retorted,-" Profecto fuit hoc ab Ambrosio insolentissimè !" To this apothegm of his majesty, Dr. R-se joined,—“ Responsum verè regium, et Alexandro dignum, hoc non est argumenta dissolvere, sed dececare." And, sitting down, the doctor was silent.
A punning Cantab of our acquaintance, whose dexter we have often fisted, happened to be present when two gents made a match to shoot pigeons. The conversation turned on the choice of the breed, and one of the bettors named the blue-rock, as the best,-"They may be so," observed our friend Cantab," but, were I going to shoot, I should choose tumblers !"?
SIR ISAAC NEWTON.
The following incidents are highly characteristic of the above recondite and celebrated Cantab, and show an amiable simplicity of manners, though an utter disregard
of worldly affairs, so much was he ever absorbed in his beloved philosophical pursuits. It is said, that Sir Isaac set out in life a professed and clamorous infidel, but that, on a close examination of the evidences of Christianity, he found reason, nor did he disdain, to retract his opinion. When the celebrated Dr. Edmund Halley was one day talking infidelity before him, Sir Isaac exclaimed,—“ Man, you had better hold your tongue : you are talking about what you do not understand." So patient was this great man, not only in his pursuit of truth, but also in suffering under pain, that when, in his last illness, that of the stone, his agony was so great, that drops of sweat forced themselves through a double night-cap, which he wore, he never was heard to complain or cry out. Sir Isaac had a prism sent him from abroad, by a philosophical friend, which was at that time a very scarce commodity in England; and, being desired to say what the value of it was, by the customhouse officers, that they might be able to regulate the duty to be paid, the great man, whose business was more with the universe than with duties and drawbacks, rated the prism according to his own idea of its utility, and answered," Its value was so great, he could not ascertain it." Being again pressed for an estimate, he persisted in his former reply, and the result was, that he paid an exorbitant duty for what might have been taken away by paying a rate according to the simple weight of the glass. At another time, a favourite little dog, named Diamond, having, in his absence, entered his study, he found it, on his return, diverting itself with the remains of some valuable MSS., containing the memoranda of many years' laborious research, which it had already torn into a thousand pieces; but so great a com
mand had this genius over his temper, that, gathering up the remnants, he patted the offender on the head, saying, -“O! Diamond, Diamond, you know not what mischief you have done?"
THE MODERN PONTIUS PILATE.
What Cantab has not heard of the Modern Pontius Pilate? Such was the designation of a late celebrated divine of King's College, who was wont to boast of his extraordinary powers in the wordy race; protesting that he would give any man as far as Pontius Pilate in the Apostolic Creed, and beat him hollow before he came to 66 AMEN !"-Qu.* amens! as it appears from the reverend gentleman's own confession, that he was plural in his pronunciation; for, on being asked how he could accomplish it, he declared he could pronounce three words at
The celebrated author of The Diversions of Purley, Horne Tooke, being once invited especially to meet his no less celebrated brother Cantab, Dr. Parr, exclaimed, on receiving the message,- "What, go to meet a country schoolmaster; a mere man of Greek and Latin scraps! that will never do." Some time after, the former meeting the latter gentleman in the street, he went up to the doctor, and addressed him with-"Ah! my dear Parr, is it you? How gratified I am to see you."
* Scilicet, dementated, alias downright mad.
"What, me?" replied Parr, a mere country schoolmaster; a man of Greek and Latin scraps!"—" Oh, my good friend," rejoined Horne Tooke, with his accustomed promptitude of wit, "those who told you that never understood me; when I spoke of the scraps, I meant the tit-bits!"
A FORCIBLE ARGUMENT.
That erudite Cantab, Bishop Burnett, preaching before Charles II., being much warmed with his subject, uttered some religious truth with great vehemence, and, at the same time, striking his fist on the desk with great violence, cried out," Who dare deny this?"-" Faith," said the king, in a tone more piano than that of the orator, nobody that is within the reach of that fist of your's."
The men of Maudlin College, Cambridge, had been long celebrated for their wineless lives, and a bowl of BISHOP or milk-punch, or a copus of AUDIT ale, would have been, to their vous-less heads, both a bane and antidote like Dr. Johnson, they would sip their TEA, even to the sixteenth cup. At length, one of the society resolved to root out this spirit-less propensity, and redeem the credit of his college; and he endeavoured to effect this reform extraordinary in the following extraordinary manner;—having invited to his rooms ten or twelve of the most inveterate tea-discussers, he took a bottle and a half of wine from a sideboard, and then, placing himself with his back against the door, he flourished the poker