Play truant and the rake at random,
Drink, tie cravats, and drive a tandem.

Remonstrance, fine, and rustication,
So far from working reformation,
Seemed but to make his lapses greater;
Till he was warned that next offence
Would have this certain consequence,―
Expulsion from his Alma Mater.

One need not be a necromancer,
To guess that, with so wild a wight,
The next offence occurr'd next night;
When our incurable came rolling

Home as the midnight chimes were tolling,
And rang the college bell.—No answer.

The second peal was vain-the third
Made the street echo its alarum ;
When, to his great delight, he heard,
The sordid Janitor, old Ben,
Rousing and growling in his den.

"Who's there?—I 'spose young Harum-scarum." "'Tis I, my worthy Ben-'tis Harry."

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Aye, so I thought, and there you'll tarry.

""Tis past the hour-the gates are closed;
You know my orders-I shall lose
My place if I undo the door."
"And I," (young hopeful interposed)
Shall be expelled if you refuse;

So, pr'ythee"- -Ben began to snore.

"I'm wet," cried Harry, "to the skin,
Hip! hallo! Ben!-don't be a ninny;
Beneath the gate I've thrust a guinea,
So tumble out, and let me in."

"Humph!" growled the greedy old curmudgeon,
Half overjoyed, and half in dudgeon,
"Now you may pass ; but make no fuss,
On tiptoe walk, and hold your prate."
"Look on the stones, old Cerberus,"
Cried Harry, as he passed the gate;

"I've dropped a shilling—take the light, You'll find it just outside-good night."

Behold the porter in his shirt,

Cursing the rain, which never stopped,
Groping and raking in the dirt,

And all without success; but that
Is hardly to be wondered at,
Because no shilling had been dropped;
So he gave o'er the search at last,
Regained the door, and found it fast!

With sundry oaths and growls and groans,

He rang once-twice—and thrice; and then, Mingled with giggling, heard the tones Of Harry mimicking old Ben.

"Whose there?-'Tis really a disgrace
To ring so loud-I've locked the gate-
I know my duty-'tis too late-
You wouldn't have me lose my place?"
"Pshaw! Mr. Dashington; remember
This is the middle of November.

I'm stripped;-'tis raining cats and dogs."

"Hush, hush!" quoth Hal; "I'm fast asleep ;"

And then he snored as loud and deep
As a whole company of hogs.

"But, hark ye, Ben, I'll grant admittance
At the same rate I paid myself."

"Nay, master, leave me half the pittance," Replied the avaricious elf.

"No; all or none-a full acquittance ;-
The terms, I know, are somewhat high;
But you have fixed the price, not I—
I won't take less-I can't afford it;"
So, finding all his haggling vain,
Ben, with a oath and groan of pain,
Drew out the guinea, and restored it.

Surely you'll give me," growled th' outwitted Porter, when again admitted,

Something, now you've done your joking,
For all this trouble, time, and soaking."
"Oh! surely, surely," Harry said,
Since, as you urge, I broke your rest,
And you're half drown'd and quite undress'd,
I'll give you-leave to go to bed!"

N. M. M.

INTREPIDITY, ABILITY, AND ROGUERY.

On the sudden elevation of Bonaparte to the supreme direction of affairs in the French republic, Dr. Paley observed to a party of gentlemen who were dining with him a few days after the intelligence of that extraordinary

event, "That the French were rapidly approaching to absolute monarchy again: the conventional government was established on a very broad basis, which has been narrowed on every subsequent alteration, and is progressively tending to a point." In allusion to the various actors who had successively filled the busy scene, in that distracted country, from the commencement of the revolution, he still more forcibly remarked, “That in similar convulsions, none can ultimately succeed in bearing sway, but men of great intrepidity, great ability, and great roguery. Without great intrepidity, no man will intentionally venture on so hazardous a career; without great ability, no man can get forward; and without great roguery, no man can bring his designs to a successful close."

THE ART OF APPLYING FIRE.

A certain Cantab, who was fellow of a college, and resided a short distance from the town in a neighbouring village, was suspected, by some of his bons vivans, of keeping a certain fille de joie, and with which they had often accused him; but he invariably denied the fact. They, however, resolved to adopt some plan to unravel the mystery. At length, one of the party, in concert with another of their joint companions, who was un bel esprit, with all his wits about him, hit upon the following expedient for ascertaining the fact, viz. :-That he and his companions should, at midnight, proceed to the village on horse-back, where resided their friend, taking with them a bundle of wet straw. This they did, being especially provided with every necessary for carrying their design

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into effect. After having reconnoitred the outposts, lest they should be taken by surprise, finding all quiet, they placed the wet straw under the window of their unsuspecting friend, who was fast locked, either in the arms of Morpheus or mademoiselle. Having fired the straw, they set out shouting, with stentorian voices, Fire, fire, fire!" This soon alarmed the enamoured pair, and the stratagem succeeded to their utmost wishes; for, in a few moments, mon cher ami rushed from the house, with no covering on but his shirt, followed close by his inamorata, veiled in her chemise.

PRAYER FOR AN ENEMY.

A Cantab, having been offended by the mayor of Cambridge, who was by trade a butcher, resolved to take an opportunity of being even with him, when it came to his turn to preach before the corporation. This happening soon after, in his prayer before the sermon, he introduced the following pointed expressions :-" And since, O Lord! thou hast commanded us to pray for our enemies, herein we beseech thee for the right worshipful the mayor: give him the strength of Samson and the courage of David; that he may knock down sin like an ox, and cut the throat of iniquity like a suckling-calf; and let his horn be exalted above his brethren."

CHARACTERISTICS.

Dr. Richard Farmer, the celebrated commentator on Shakspeare, was formerly master of Emanuel College,