MAPS. Mr. John Nicholson, formerly a well-known bookseller in Cambridge (a full length portrait of whom, painted by Reinagle, hangs in the entrance to the public library), originally hawked prints and maps round the colleges for sale, and it was his custom to bawl at the entrance to the staircases which led to the rooms where the students kept, "Maps!" From this circumstance he was, by the gownsmen, so named; and the following hexameter was circulated through the University on the occasion :— Μαπς αυτον κηλεςσι θεοι, ανδρεσδε Νιχολσον. TRANSLATED. Snobs call him Nicholson! a plebeian name, Since Granta's classic sons have dubbed him Maps! PRIOR. Prior kept his fellowship of St. John's College, Cambridge, till his death, and used to say-The salary will always insure me a bit of mutton and a clean shirt!" SILLY-BUBB. Lord Melcombe, when his name was plain Bubb, was intended by the administration of that time to be sent ambassador to Spain. While this matter was in contemplation, Lord Chesterfield met him, and, touching him upon the proposed embassy, told Bubb, that he did not, by any means, think him fit to be the representative of the crown of England, at the Spanish court. Bubb begged to know the ground of his objection: Why," said his lordship, "your name is too short. Bubb, Bubb, do you think the Spaniards, a people who pride themselves on their family honours, and the length of their titles, will suppose a man can possess any dignity or importance, with a name of one syllable, which can be pronounced in a second? No, my friend, you must not think of Spain, unless you make some addition to your name!" Bubb desired his lordship to say what he would have him do. Lord Chesterfield, pausing a moment, exclaimed,—“I have it: what do you think of calling yourself Silly-Bubb?” DROPSICAL. From the number of bores made in Cambridge, your attention is not unfrequently attracted by a small fountain playing. Some gentlemen one day discoursing on the subject, it was facetiously observed by Dr. Gthen Vice-Chancellor, "that, although Cambridge had been tapped very often, it was still very dropsical!" WISEACRES. Ben Jonson, being one evening at a tavern-club, seated at the upper end of the table, amongst his inge D nious sons, and talking of nothing but poetry, was often interrupted by a country gentleman, who would permit no other discourse to pass about than what tended to tillage and husbandry; what rich pasture ground was in his county, the price of corn, and the care of cattle. This so incensed old Ben, that he could forbear no longer, but let fly at him in his language. “Thou clod,” said Ben, "why dost thou mingle thy dirty discourse with our sublime fancies? I tell thee, for every acre thou hast of land, I have ten acres of wit!" "Have you so, Sir," replied the gentleman; "I cry your mercy, good Mister Wise-Acres!" Ben Jonson was so highly taken with the jest, that he swore he was never so pricked by a hobnail in all his life. VERY EASY TO WRITE LIKE A FOOL. Lee, the dramatist, who was educated at Trinity College, was confined four years of his short life in Bedlam. When a sane idiot of a scribbler mocked his calamity, and observed that it was easy to write like a madman; Lee answered, "No, sir, it is not easy to write like a madman, but very easy to write like a fool!" THE BRASS PLATE. The first year that "Poor Robin's Almanack" came forth (about A D. 1666), there was cut for it a brass plate, having on one side of it the pictures of King Charles the First, the Earl of Stafford, the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Earl of Derby, the Lord Capel, and Doctor Hewit; all six adorned with wreaths of laurel. On the other side was Oliver Cromwell, Bradshaw, Ireton, Scott, Harrison, and Hugh Peters, hanging in chains; betwixt which were placed the Earl of Essex and Mr. Christopher Love. Upon this plate, Mr. Lewis Griffin, a Cantab, wrote the following lines : Bless us! what have we here, what sundry shapes Both Heaven and hell in an octavo page— Joined with two Neuters, some condemn, some praise, SCRAPING THE PROCTOR. A custom formerly prevailed of scraping the proctor, or any other university officer, who had rendered himself obnoxious by any particular measure. "I myself," says Dr. Disney, in his memoirs of Dr. Jebb, "was one of the offending gallery; but whether an offender or not, I will not say, for I do not recollect, though too prone to mischiefs of that kind." After a few names had been taken down, comes Mr. Homer, of Emanuel, now deceased. "What is your name, Sir?" said Purkess, the other proctor: "Homer, of Emanuel," was the reply. "Sir," said the proctor, "you are attempting to impose upon me! Homer, do you say?" "Yes, Sir," he answered, “ Homer, of Emanuel!” “Very well, Sir." After two or three more names, comes a gentleman of my year. "Your name, Sir?" said the proctor. Pindar, of Queen's !" was the answer. "Sir," vociferated the proctor, "I will not be insulted in this manner? I insist upon it, Sir, that you tell me your name?" "My name is Pindar, of Queen's," was the reply, "and, if you don't like that, I have no other to give you!" A TRANSPORTING SUBJECT. The subject for the Chancellor's English Prize Poem, for the year 1823, was Australasia (New Holland.). This happened to be the subject of conversation at a party of Johnians, when some observing that they thought it a bad subject, one of the party remarked, "It was at least a transporting one." COMPLETING A STANZA. It is related that Dr. Mansel, then an undergraduate of Trinity College, Cambridge, by chance called at the rooms of a brother Cantab, who was absent; but he had left on his table the opening of a poem, which was in the following lofty strain : "The sun's perpendicular rays Illumine the depths of the sea;" Here the flight of the poet by some accident stopped |