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relief of tender consciences, Doctor Gordon, fellow of Emanuel College, and afterwards precentor of Lincoln, an avowed Tory in religious politics, when vehemently opposing the arguments of Mr. Jebb, a strenuous supporter of all such improvements, exclaimed, with his usual heat;-"You mean, Sir, to impose upon us a new church government." "You are mistaken, Sir," said Mr. Paley," Jebb only wants to ride his own horse, not to force you to get up behind him.”

WAY OF USING BOOKS.

Sterne used to say-"The most accomplished way of using books is to serve them as some people do lords, learn their titles and then brag of their acquaintance."

TROPHIES.

A French nobleman once showing Matthew Prior the palace of his master at Versailles, and desiring him to observe the many trophies of Louis the Fourteenth's victories, asked Prior, if King William, his master, had many such trophies in his palace. "No," said Prior, "the monuments of my master's victories are to be seen everywhere but in his own house."

THE COST OF FASHION.

Lord Mansfield, being willing to save a man who had stolen a watch, desired the jury to value it at ten-pence ;

upon which the prosecutor cried out, "ten-pence, my lord,-why the very fashion of it cost me five pounds !” "Oh," says his lordship, we must not hang a man for fashion's sake!"

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POPISH ZEAL.

The Popish party, not content with the indignities they had heaped upon the person of Archbishop Cranmer, actually burnt, publicly, his book on the sacrament. This being told him, he exclaimed, “Ah! they have honoured it more than it deserved, for I hear they burnt it with the New Testament." Which was the fact.

COMPLAINT AND WISH.

Dryden's wife complained to him that he was always reading, and took little notice of her, and finished her complaint with saying, "I wish I was a book, and then I should enjoy more of your company." "Yes, my dear," said Dryden, "I wish you were a book-but an Almanack, I mean, for then I should change you every year.

QUAINT EPITAPH.

Doctor Fuller having requested one of his companions, who was a bon-vivant, to make an epitaph for him, received the following, with the conceit of which he always expressed himself much pleased,

"Here lies Fuller's earth!"

PATIENCE.

A fellow of Trinity College, Cambridge, on the eve of his departure from the university, preached at St. Mary's upon these words—“ Have patience with me, and I will pay you all;" and, owing a large sum of money in the town, enlarged mightily on the first part of the text,— "Have patience." "Now," says he, "I should come to the second part of the text, and I will pay you all; but, having pressed too long on your patience, I must leave that till the next opportunity; so pray have patience with me!"

BUT ONE GOOD TRANSLATION.

Dryden's translation of Virgil being commended by a right reverend bishop, Lord Chesterfield said, "The original is indeed excellent; but everything suffers by a translation-except a bishop!"

"THERE I LEAVE YOU."

The witty and licentious Earl of Rochester, meeting with the great and learned Isaac Barrow in the Park, told his companion that he would have some fun with the rusty old pot. Accordingly, he went up with great gravity, and, taking off his hat, made the doctor a profound bow, saying, "Doctor, I'm your's to my shoe-tie." The doctor, seeing his drift, immediately pulled off his beaver, and returned the bow, with, "My lord, I'm your's to the

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ground." Rochester followed up his salutation by a deeper bow, saying, "Doctor, I am your's to the centre." Barrow, with a very lowly obeisance, replied, "My lord, I am your's to the Antipodes." His lordship, nearly gravelled,'exclaimed, "Doctor, I am your's to the lowest pit of hell!" "There, my lord," said Barrow, sarcastically, "I'll leave you!" and walked off.

JUDGMENT.

James the Second, when Duke of York, made a visit to Milton the poet, and asked him, amongst other things, if he did not think the loss of his sight a judgment upon him for what he had written against his father, Charles the First. Milton answered," If your Highness think my loss of sight a judgment upon me, what do you think of your father's losing his head?"

QUEERING A FULL-BOTTOM.

Lord Mansfield used to relate the following anecdote of himself, with great good-humour. A St. Giles's bird appeared before him as an evidence in some trial concerning a quarrel in the street, and so confounded his lordship with slang, that he was obliged to dismiss him without getting anything from him. Being desired to give an account of all he knew, "My lord," says he, “as I was coming by the corner of a street, I stagged the man." "Pray," said Lord Mansfield, "what is stagging a man?" "Stagging, my lord,-why you see Iwas down upon him." "Well, but I don't understand down

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upon him, any more than stagging; do speak to be understood." "Why, an't please your lordship, I speak as well as I can; I was up, you see, to all he knew." "To all he knew,-I'm as much in the dark as ever." "Well then, my lord, I'll tell you how it was." "Why, my lord, seeing as how he was a rum kid, I was one upon his tibby." The fellow, being at length sent out of court, his lordship not being able to make anything of his jargon, was heard in the hall to say to one of his companions" that he had gloriously queered old fullbottom!"

THE TOBACCO-STOPPER.

It is said that Sir Isaac Newton did once in his life go a wooing, and, as was to be expected, had the greatest indulgence paid to his little peculiarities, which ever accompany a great genius. Knowing that he was fond of smoking, the lady assiduously provided him with a pipe, and they were seated as if to open the business of Cupid. Sir Isaac smoked a few whiffs-seemed at a loss for something-whiffed again—and at last drew his chair near to the lady: a pause of some minutes ensued; he seemed a little uneasy; "Oh the timidity of some!" thought the lady when, lo! Sir Isaac had got hold of her hand. The lady cast her eyes down towards the floor, and the palpitations began: he will kiss it, thought she, no doubt, and then the matter will be settled. Sir Isaac whiffed with redoubled fury, and drew the captive hand near his head; already the expected salute vibrated from the hand to the heart-when, pity the damsel, gentle reader! Sir Isaac only raised the fair hand, to make the fore-finger what he much wanted-a tobacco-stopper!

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