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This was so reasonable a request, that the barber readily consented, and the doctor had no sooner put it on his head, than he ordered the poor barber out of the room, giving him to understand that, since it was sold to him, it was now become his property.

DO ILL.

At a party in Cambridge, where the merits of a certain belle happened to be discussed, two Cantabs, who had some knowledge of the lady, took opposite sides, and contended very warmly for each other's opinion; indeed, so high did the question run, that they became quite clamorous on the subject. Upon which, a lady of the party jocosely observed, "that she feared they would be obliged to end the affair by fighting a duel!" "In that case, madam," replied one of the Cantabs, "we should do ill!"

PRINCIPAL AND INTEREST.

It is related of the celebrated Burke, that he sent his son to St. John's College, Cambridge, to complete his studies; and, after the young gentleman had resided there some time, the bills were of course sent to him by the tutor, for payment. Burke suffered them to remain unpaid, nor did he take any notice of the circumstance. The tutor, at length, grown tired of waiting payment, wrote to request, that, if it was not convenient for Mr. Burke to pay the principal, he would pay the interest. To this reasonable request Burke laconically answered ;-"Sir, it is neither my principle to pay the interest, nor my interest to pay the principal."

LAPSUS LINGUÆ.

When Paley was installed as sub-dean, in the Cathedral of Lincoln, 1795, he proceeded from thence to take his degree of D. D. in Cambridge. He preached his Concio ad Clerum in February, and on that occasion, as he was no poet, and little skilled in Latin prosody, he unfortunately pronounced the word profugus, profūgus. This blunder of Paley's gave rise to the following epigram from one of the University wits :—

EPIGRAM.

"Italiam, fato profugus, lavinaque venit
Litora ;

Errat Virgilius forte profūgus erat."

DR. JORTIN,

Who was of Jesus College, Cambridge, was once asked by a friend, why he did not publish his sermons.- "They shall sleep," answered the doctor, "till I sleep."

ABSENCE OF MIND.

The effect of absence of mind is well exemplified in an incident which happened some time since to a well-known gentleman of Magdalen College, Cambridge. He had taken his watch from his pocket to mark the time he intended to boil an egg for his breakfast, when a friend, en

tering his room, found him absorbed in some abstruse calculation, with the egg in his hand, upon which he was looking intently, and the watch supplying its place in the saucepan of boiling water.

FLYING TO THE UTMOST BOUNDS OF INFINITE SPACE.

During the days of Bishop Hinchley, at a visitation sermon, preached before the University of Cambridge, the preacher indulged himself in much speculative argumentation, and concluded by speaking, though rhetorically, by no means mathematically or metaphysically, of an angel's flying to the utmost bounds of infinite space.

DELICACY.

Dr. Jortin was, by some writer, once accused of indelicacy. All the world laughed at the conceit, and Jortin himself was surprised into a grin. "How comes it, John," said a friend of his, “that you should have the reputation of less delicacy than the broker?" "I'll tell you," said the doctor. 'Rambling one day in the environs of the zodiac, instead of making my bow and my speech, I happened to turn my posteriors upon Ursa Major!'

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KILLING TIME.

Paley frequently mixed in card-parties, and was considered a skilful player at whist; but he would, at all times, readily forego the amusement for conversation with

an intelligent companion. A lady once observed to him at a card-table-"that the only excuse for their playing was, that it served to kill time." "The best defence possible, madam,” replied he, “ though time will in the end kill us!"

COMPLIMENTS.

Mr. Yates, the celebrated master of the free grammarschool at Appleby, which he had taught with credit and success for half a century, when in his eightieth year, still retaining the vigour of his faculties, became intimate with Paley. Many of their mutual compliments are remembered by their intimate friends; amongst others, the following:-" Mr. Paley reasons like Locke," was the observation of Yates; "Mr. Yates writes like Erasmus," was the equally merited reply of Paley.

FACETIOUS SKETCH OF THE CHARACTER OF PAUL I. OF RUSSIA.

Tweddall, in a letter to one of his friends, dated Moscow, 1797, thus facetiously describes the character of Paul I." He is," says Tweddell, "a great imitator of Frederic II., for which reason he wears great boots and hideous uniforms, and exercises his troops at six o'clock in the morning without his hat on, when the cold is at sixteen degrees. He wishes to unite magnifi-. cence with economy-for which reason he makes superb presents to individuals, and great retrenchments in the general departments of state. He certainly has the most

brilliant court in Europe; it is truly splendid. On the day of his coronation, at dinner, the lieutenant-colonels presented his dishes upon one knee. How can this eastern despot pretend to unite such base servitude with his love of the military? He is capricious and minute—attaching weight to trifles. All the military are obliged to have long queues; a man with short hair cannot command his armies. General Mack would not have sufficient merit to be a sergeant, for he has the vice of baldness: the emperor would treat him as the naughty boys treated Elisha. He judges all men upon the model of Samson, and conceives their force to be in their hair. His first acts, such as the liberation of Koskiusko, placed him in a fair light, and made him appear brighter than he ought to appear. In short, Paul is a poor thing; he does not want sense, but he has not capacity to embrace a comprehensive system of measures. He is a little man standing on tip-toe; he libels dignity when he struts; and reminds me of a poultry-yard, when he traverses the palace in the midst of the dames of honour.

FULLER ALL OVER.

The Rev. Thomas Fuller, who was educated at Queen's College, Cambridge, was in his day a great punster, and, also, a man of most lively wit. He was extremely corpulent, and one day, as he was riding in company with a gentleman of his acquaintance, named Sparrowhawk, he could not resist the opportunity of passing a joke upon him. "Pray what is the difference," said Fuller, between an owl and a sparrowhawk?" "Oh," retorted the other, sarcastically, "an owl is fuller in the head, fuller in the body, and fuller all over!"

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