instead of apologizing, he aggravated his offence, by making several observations, which were deemed insolent and impertinent. He was now threatened with rustication, forfeiture of collegiate honours, &c. unless he offered a very serious apology; for which purpose he was convened before the whole college on a day named. Anstey entered the combination-room (where sat the doctors, masters of arts, bachelors, and others of his college), amidst a profound silence, and, with hypocritic phiz and affected contrition, he proceeded to address the dignitaries of Granta. Turning towards the doctors, he thus began-" Valete, doctores sine doctrinâ!” (Farewell, ye doctors without learning!) Then to the masters of arts, he continued,—“ Valete, magistri sine artibus !” (Farewell, ye masters without arts!) Lastly, facing the bachelors, he exclaimed Denique valete, baccalaunei digniores baculo!" (At length farewell, ye bachelors worthy of a thrashing!) So saying, with a sarcastic inclination of the head, he walked out. It is needless to add, he was despoiled of his honours, degraded, and expelled. To the unfortunate conclusion of this affair, he alludes in the following couplet of his "Bath Guide:"

"On the margin of Cam, where, studious of ease, I spent seven long years, and then lost my degrees."

READY REPLY.

It is generally known that the grass-plots in the college courts, or quadrangles, as they are called in Oxford, are not for the unhallowed feet of the undergraduates; indeed, it is, in one college in Cambridge, a fine of two

H

and sixpence, for any man of the college in statu pupillari to pollute them: but these regulations are rather intended to preserve the turf, than for distinction. Some, however, are hardy enough to venture in despite of all remonstrance. The late Bishop of Bristol, then master of Trinity, had often observed a student of his college invariably to cross the green, when, in obedience to the calls of his appetite, he went to hall to dine. One day, the bishop determined to reprove the delinquent for invading the rights of his superiors, and for that purpose he threw up the sash at which he was sitting, and called to the student-" Sir, I never look out of my window, but I see you walking across the grass-plot." "My lord," replied the offender instantly, "I never walk across the grass-plot, but I see you looking out of your window." The prelate, who well knew how to appreciate a retort, pleased at the readiness of the reply, closed his window, convulsed with laughter.

NOT versus NOTT.

A gentleman of Maudlin, whose name was Nott, happening one evening to be out, was returning late from his friend's rooms in rather a merry mode, and, withal, not quite able to preserve his centre of gravity. In his way he attracted the attention of the proctor, who demanded his name and college. "I am Nott of Maudlin" was the reply, hiccupping. " Sir," said the proctor, in an angry tone, “I did not ask of what college you are not, but of what college you are." "I am Nott of Maudlin," was again the broken reply. The proctor, enraged at what he considered contumely, insisted on

accompanying him to Maudlin, whither having arrived, he demanded of the porter, "whether he knew the gentleman." "_" Know him, sir," said the porter, (6 yes, it is Mr. Nott, of this college." The proctor now perceived his error in not understanding the gentleman, and, laughing heartily at the affair, wished him a good night.

A VERY CUTTING RETORT.

Archbishop Tillotson had, by some means, incurred the displeasure of Sir John Trevor, who had been expelled the House of Commons for several misdemeanors. Sir John, one day meeting Tillotson, cried out, "I hate to see an Atheist in the shape of a churchman."'-"And I," replied the archbishop, "hate to see a knave in any shape."

THE BLUE BOAR.

In olden times, the students of the different colleges in Cambridge obtained various nicknames; but why or wherefore are questions few persons are qualified to answer generally. For instance, the men of Trinity College are called bull-dogs; Maudlin men, rats; Clarehall men, greyhounds, &c.; and since the men of St. John's College obtained the name of hogs, it is no very uncommon thing for men of other colleges to say, when they see a pig-" There goes a Johnian." It is necessary to inform some of our readers, that the gown-men of Trinity wear blue gowns, but the toga worn by a Johnian is black. It happened on a day, that a Trinitarian, brimful of wine, was passing by the sign of the Blue Boar (which

hung nearly opposite his own college, and had been newly painted and richly gilt), with his spirits raised to the (Nth +1), when the sign attracted his attention, and, nimbly climbing the post from which it hung suspended, he in an instant wrenched it from the hinges and dashed it to the ground, exclaiming,-" D-- me, if a Johnian shall wear a blue gown!"

BILLET FOR BILLET.

One of the tutors of Queen's College, Cambridge, was much annoyed one day, when dining in hall, by the loquacity of an undergraduate, who sat at an opposite table to himself; indeed, so much so, that flesh and blood could bear it no longer; and, calling one of the gyps, who was waiting at table, he wrote with his pencil, on a slip of paper, the following elegant reproof:—

"Vir sapit qui pauca loquitur."

(A wise man talks little.) The undergraduate, without hesitation, turned over the paper, and wrote on the blank side,

"Vir loquitur qui pauca sapit,"

(The man talks who is a little wise), and returned the paper to the tutor by the same hands that brought it.

UNCONSCIOUS VANITY.

It is said by a writer of no small credit in the literary horizon," that a man's sense of his own superiority may beget a degree of pardonable vanity." This has been truly

exemplified in the person of a gentleman holding an official situation in the University of Cambridge. It is related, that when he was examined for his degree of B. A. in the Senate House, he did not succeed very well at first; but on the last day he challenged the whole of those above him, and, although he was far below, he beat the whole, and was declared Senior Wrangler, or worthy of the first mathematical honours of his year. This circun.stance caused him to be particularly noticed, and, being of rather a bashful turn, he imagined persons to be observing him, when, in fact, their attention was directed to other objects. The following is a remarkable instance of this kind. He went to London soon after his success, and, during his stay, he one night visited one of the large theatres. It so happened, that his late Majesty, George the Third, entered the theatre at the same instant with our hero, and of course the whole audience rose; our Senior Wrangler, imagining the honour to be intended for himself, all abashed, exclaimed, “This is too much!”

DEAFNESS, FEAR, AND IMAGINATION.

The Rev. Mr. D—, of Trinity College, Cambridge, ing his residence, as well known to dean, porter, and cook, of that splendid and royal foundation, by his irregularities and epicureanism, as to the literary world by his amusing and scientific publications, fell into the river Cam, on a raw and gusty day in December, as he was displaying his skill in skaiting; an exercise in which he had attained such skill and proficiency, that Hal Broeck, at the Hague, who could cut his own name in German text, on the ice, could scarcely have competed with him