4th, Reafon fhall defend Fashion against the inceffantly renewed attacks of peevishnefs and old

women.

5th, Fashion fhall make no changes without confulting Reafon.

6th, The troops of the one fhall affume the uniform of thofe of Fafhion, and the troops of the other fhall be difciplined like thofe of Reason.

7th, Reafon fhall furnish Fashion with the fubfidies necellary for the fupport of its power, and Mode fhall fupply Reason with the Graces, in the quality of auxiliary troops.

8th, In fine, Reafon fhall no longer be growling nor favage, and Fashion fhall break off all alliance with Bad Taste and Folly.

T. L.

FASHIONS CHANGE!

[From the fame.]

YES, Mr. Editor, Fashions do change, and in this refined age one naturally expects them to change for the better: but, except when former fashions, according to the ufual rotation, come round again, they feem continually to change for the worfe.

The truth is, that Fashion has undergone a total revolution-and no wonder, fince revolutions have been all the fashion.-Formerly the two great conflituents of Fashion were, elegance of appearance, and urbanity of manners. My Lord Chefterfield particularly recommended fomething of this fort: but certain grave readers, confounding his Lordship's ideas of elegance, which were very correct, with his moral notions, which were certainly exceptionable-elegance itself fell into difrepute; and, left we fhould appear to be of the School of Chesterfield, the contrary extreme was adopted, and the Blackguard School preferred; for ▾

7

can give no other denomination to that which abolished what all the world acknowledged to be elegant, and introduced the drefs of the fable, and the flang of Bow Street. Ever fince that time, what a routine we have had of every thing difgufting, in the name of Fashion!-flouched hats, jockey waiftcoats, halfboots, leather breeches, cropped heads, unpowdered hair-in fhort, every thing that can give an idea of a Ruffian—1 fay, a Ruffian; because the drefs and manners which are now deemed fashionable, would, twenty, years ago, have made a gallows impreffion on a jury at the Old Bailey.

I am ready to acknowledge, that, under the Chefterfield fyftem, elegance otten degenerated into frivolity; and a man fometimes feemed little better than a monkey. This, however, could only happen among the middling and lower clafles, aping the drefs and manners of their fuperiors; and even thefe were infi nitely preferable to the boorish, wolfish, and affectedly terrific exhibition of the prefent race of Bucks without blood, Beaux without tafte, and Gentlemen without manners!

I have been led into fuch egregious errors, and have committed fuch blunders, by mistaking-Dukes for Grooms, Earls for Poftillions, and 'Squires for Stableboys, that perhaps I may not exprefs myfelf with fufficient accuracy or candour on this fubject. But I cannot help taking the prefent fyftem to be confufion confounded; and therefore I hope, fince even Bonaparté requires Sans Culottes to be dreffed, that in this country, remarkable for good fenfe and propriety, we may again, and speedily, fee the

FASHIONS CHANGE!

VERBAL

I

MR. EDITOR,

VERBAL INVASION.

[From the fame.]

AM an old-fashioned mortal, known by the name of a true Englishman; a plain speaker, a lover of beef, and an abominator of foreigners and foreign cuftoms. The invafion of the French men I value not a rush. We are ready! but I muft confefs there is another fpecies of Invafion which vexes me exceedingly-I mean the confounded custom of introducing French Words into our language, which is arrived to fuch a height, that a plain country Gentleman can fcarcely underftand one word in ten of his mother tongue-it is fo frittered away-by what our failors call puppy lingo.

One man, at a lofs to explain himself, comes out with a "Je ne fcais quoi."

A fecond won't defcribe particulars, but praises the "tout ensemble."

A third drops in when dinner is ferving up, and declares he comes quite "à propos."

A fourth can't enter a crowded Theatre without exclaiming " What a coup-d'œil!"

A fifth vows that Mrs. Maudlin is not handfome, but her face has a pleafing "tournure!" and

A fixth fagaciously doubts whether Minifter are "au fait."

I don't find fault with certain women being ftyled Elegantés," fimpering Miffes " Belles," and effeminate fellows Beaux;" but I am tranfported with rage when I reflect that this unaccountable innovation has even crept into our army, as our foldiers are inftructed to deployer" and fire a "feu de joye," whilft our Volunteer Affociations are univerfally called "Corps!"

66

Excufe my warmth, Mr. Editor, and allow your

H 4

patriotic

patriotic paper to be the vehicle of an attempt to diffuade my brave countrymen from uttering the fentiments of Britons with the tongues of Frenchmen.

Yours,

SIMON STERLING,

THE BACHELOR'S SOLILOQUY CONCERNING
A MARRIED STATE.

To wed, or not to wed--that is the queftion:
Whether 't were happier in the mind to stifle
The heats and tumults of outrageous paffion,
Or with fome prudent fair in folemn contract
Of matrimony join.-To have-to hold-
No more-and by that have, to fay we end
The heart ach, and the thousand love-fick pangs
Of celibacy-'t were a confummation
Devoutly to be wifh'd-In nuptial band

To join till death diffolves-Ay, there's the rub:
For in that space what dull remorfe may come,
When we have ta'en our leave of liberty,
Muft give us folemn paufe.-There's the refpect
That flacks our fpeed in fuing for a change:

Elfe who would bear the fcorn and fneers which Bachelors
When aged feel, the pains and flutt'ring fevers,
Which each new face inuft give to roving fancy,
When he might rid himself at once of all

Py a bare yes? Who would with patience bear
To fret and linger out a fingle life,

But that the dread of fomething yet untried,
Some hazard in a ftate from whose strict bond
Death only can release, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather choofe thofe ills we have,
Than fly to others which we fancy greater?
This laft reflection makes us flow and wary,
Filling the dubious mind with dreadful thoughts
Of poutings, difcords, jealoufies, and cares
Extravagantly great, entail'd on wedlock,
Which to avoid, the lover checks his paffion,
And, miferable, dies a bachelor.

IMPROMPTE,

ON HEARING OF

IMPROMPTU,

THE MARRIAGE OF CAPTAIN FOOT,

OF THE ROYAL NAVY, WITH MISS PATTEN, WHICH WAS SOLEMNIZED ON A WEDNESDAY MORNING.

AY the union cemented on Wednesday, at Matin,

MAY

Be blissful, and crown'd with abundance of fruit! May the Foot ever firmly adhere to the Patten,

The Patten for ever stick close to the Foot!

And though Pattens are us'd but in moift, dirty weather, May their journey through life be unclouded and clean! May they long fit each other;-and moving together, May only one fole (foul) be still cherish'd between. Fareham, Hants. PHILO-NAUTICUS.

VERSES ON A PORTRAIT OF THE PRINCESS

MARY,

IN THE CHARACTER OF AN ARTIST.

BY P. PINDAR, ESQ.

WEET Nymph, accept a verfe from him,
A pupil in the fchool of Whim,
Too prone to make great folks his sport;
Yet, if he catch one glimpse of merit,

He fnatches up the pen with fpirit,

To praife it, though it comes from court.

'T is true, that courts are fat hot-beds,
Engend'ring reptiles, noifome weeds,

Which Satire's fcythe will ne'er keep under;

But lo! a charming rofe art thou,

Receive, then, nymph, my lowest bow,

For giving to the world, a wonder.

TO MARIA,

WHO COMPLAINED SHE HAD LOST THE KEY OF HER

WHY

CABINET.

[From the Morning Poft.]

vex a moment for the key you've lost?
A fimple key, as trifling as its coft:

But, charming maid, could chance e'er make you part
With that cross-warded key, which locks your heart