they should form plans in which rocks fhould be removed, tunnels conftructed, the courfes of rivers turned, churches demolished, public edifices be dilapidated, hofpitals destroyed, and fuch other improvements made as the ingenuity of the artists, and the neceffity of the cafe, may fuggeft. Only I fhould with, in order to fecure a plentiful inundation, which may ultimately be beneficial to the earth, that wherefoever the face of the country feems most repugnant to the operation, it fhall be cut into canals, upon which, as a balloon is nothing without a boat, the paffengers may fecurely fail. The milky way will ferve admirably for this purpose; and if part of its contents were bottled, and fent down to us as an article of commerce, like Seltzer and Spa waters, they might probably have the effect of lowering the prices of butter and cheese ; which, fuch is the operation of fublunary ingenuity, nothing upon earth will be able to effect. I do not know whether it would be amifs to fend down fome of the celestial horned cattle for the fame laudable purpose. It may here perhaps be faid, that if we credit Homer, Virgil, and a thousand other poets, ancient and modern, fufficient accommodations, not only for paffengers, but horfes and carriages, are already to be found above. The fteeds of Apollo, it is well known, befides their fhort ftages, annually travel through the Zodiac, like a Loudon rider through the country. Whether, like thefe, they ftop at every proper fign, it is impoffible to conjecture; but it is certain, with respect to the diurnal rotation of the chariot of the god, when it arrives at its laft ftage, the feet of the horfes are, by the care of the celeftial oftler, as is the practice with oftlers on terra firma, washed in the Atlantic, which feems to be a pond fufficiently capacious, and therefore properly adapted to the sublimity of the objects. VOL. VIII. The The chariot of Juno, which may be compared to the carriage of a modern matron of fashion, many of whom have been complimented for their fimilarity to that goddefs, in more refpects than that of equipage; the car of Mars, who feems to have travelled like one of our artillery-men, loaded with combuftibles; the fhell, of Venus, drawn by doves, by which our citizens may obferve that these birds are fit for other purposes than enclosing in a pie; and that, if properly trained, they might, as well as peacocks, be used as cattle: thefe inftances, with many other of curious beafts, birds, fishes, &c. from the dragons of Medea to the butterflies of Pfyche, fhew us, that travelling in the air is not a new invention; and indeed, from the amazing traffic that was formerly carried on over fea and land, we might fuppofe that the roads were as thoroughly beaten as the highways to Brentford, Uxbridge, Barnet, or Romford: but as thofe kinds of machines have long fince ceased to run aloft, though they fometimes creep in verfe below, we may reasonably fuppofe, that the places where they ufed to put up are gone to decay: I fhould therefore propofe, while the furveyors are fo much above the world, that they fhould confider whether chains of inns, magnificent and reafonable as thofe from London to Holyhead, for intance, fhould not be established for different directions; fo that our aërial travellers, who will unqueftionably afcend to behold a country, the forms of which are continually changing, with the fame avidity as numbers have lately, as the faying is, flown acrofs the Channel, may be fure to be properly treated upon their arrival; which however, it is to be lamented, has not always been the cafe in Parifian tours.. To prevent thefe and other terrestrial emigrations, which experience tells us, like all fublunary things, end in difappointment, I must in conclufion repeat my advice, that the balloon fyftem be immediately carried into effect that inns be erected in the clouds as foon as a poffible, as there is no question but those who, from a laudable defire to improve their conftitutions, and fee the world at the fame time, go to Paris; or those who, tired of the confinement of this, wifh to range at liberty in a new hemifphere on the other fide the Atlantic, will, inftead of thefe excurfions, take their feats in the firft of those machines that are regularly established, as they will foon perceive, provided they can meet with proper places for their reception, that all thefe defirable objects may be attained with very little trouble or expense; and while, as Shakspeare fays, they "fail through the air," they may have a bird's-eye view of our forefts dwindled to goofeberry-bufhes, rivers appearing like fkeins of red filk, and a hundred other wonders, fuch as would tax the credulity of the believers in Mandeville or Munchaufen; and if ever the time fhould arrive that they alfo become tired of their elevated profpects, and wish to return to their mother earth, fhould they then happen to be unprovided with that ingenious invention a parachute, they have only to take a bold leap, and they will be fure to come down much fafter than they afcended; which may not always be the cafe with thofe that either cross the Channel, or the Western Ocean, if they fhould ever be troubled with that patriotic diforder which the Swiss emphatically term the home fickness. AGE and difficulties having reduced a performer, once of fome diftinction, to a ftate of diftrefs the fous and daughters of Thefpis, whofe liberality (at least) must ever remain unimpeached, fet on foot a fubfcription in the green-rooms of the London theatres. Guineas, fingle or in pairs, were the general I 2 donations: donations an actress, whom talents and good fortune have equally confpired to place in the car of Melpomene, diftinguished herfelf by the gift of three pieces, viz. two fhillings and one fixpence !-Soon after, at the rehearsal of a new tragedy, a queftion arofe upon the tiara or head-drefs beft adapted to the heroine of the piece-when the late Mr. Palmer drily, and perhaps undefignedly, obferved, that nothing would in his. opinion be fo truly characteristic, as a femi-coronet or half-crown!-A rifible titillation became contagious, and the pleasantry was never forgiven. The following lines refulted from the circumstance: TO MELPOmene. Rhet'ric's full fcope, Expreffion's mimic aid, GIDEON JUVENAL, JUNIOR. SONNET, ON THE REPRESENTATION OF BELVIDERA, BY MRS. SIDDONS. [From the True Briton.] HADE of that bard whose bold yet tender mufe SHAI Poor Belvidera's "glorious faith" defign'd, Lo! Siddons equals thy fublimeft views. Hence thou thine erring judgment must accufe, And bade him all its fad, fond claims refuse. Hadft thou foreseen a Siddons for the part, Thou wouldst have made him fcorn Ambition's ftrife; Careless of wealth, defpifing factious art, He would not meanly have deferted life, Rich in his Belvidera's glowing heart, But brav'd his fate with fuch a matchlefs wife. I T. ECONOMY. ECONOMY. [From the Morning Herald.] The nightly allowance of young Benfon, who plays the Child in Pizarro, having been reduced from a crown to half a crown, the following Epigram on the occafion was handed about the Green-room : WHEN fell Pizarro Cora's infant feiz'd, Great Roila, mindful of his high renown, Refcu'd the babe, its hapless mother eas'd, TO MR. KEMBLE, ON SEEING HIM IN THE CHARACTER OF KING HENRY THE FOURTH (PART II.). [From the British Prefs.] WHEN Bolingbroke (weaken'd by fickness and age) His precepts fo wife, and his maxims fo clear, Do you think 't is not right that the Audience should hear brother? We know that you stick very close to coftume, But here close to character too; For because you are fick i' th' Jerus'lem room, At your mantle fo fine, and your chin fo befmear'd, Either give ev'ry one of your actors a beard, Or elfe (please your Majefty) fhave. Yours, RAZOR. |