made on this fingular article, with which I fhall not trouble you, as they turned principally on the artifices of street beggars, blind or lame; and perhaps were not uttered in the true fpirit of Chriftian charity for thefe diftreffed objects. For my part, Mr. Editor, if I were to take every article I fee in the newspapers in its literal meaning, I fhould lofe very much pleasure as well as profit. As to the advertisement in question, I had no doubt at all, the moment I read it, that it had a meaning confiderably remote from what it appeared to exprefs. Ah! Sir, don't think you are to take in the fagacious part of your readers. Don't think that we do not immediately perceive what the blind man's walk means, and that the whole is a joke at the expense of the Doctor, whofe entire practice has been-What has it been? Why, it has been nothing but a blind man's walk! His eye-fight began to fail him about a year ago, when he mistook a few boats in the French and Dutch harbours for a vast fleet; and he has been groping about ever fince, making fuch ftrange mistakes as blindness only can juftify, and ftumbling at every trifling object in his way. Look at his Volunteer fyftem, his Army of Referve fyftem, his General Defence fyftem, and his Income Tax fyftem, and tell me if any man with his eyes open could have wandered fo ftrangely out of the paths of propriety and common fenfe. Do but afk him the meaning of any step he takes? Ask him how far he means to go, and where he means to ftop ?— and obferve how he will blink the question. Take hold of him, as you would of a blind man, at any particular part or point in his progrefs, and afk him if he know whereabouts he is? and I have no doubt he will anfwer like the old man at the corner of Lincoln's Inn Fields, “Lord bless your honour; why, I am blind!"? To be fure, fome people fay that he is not fo blind but that he can take care of himfelf, or of his family, which is juft the fame thing; but this is a poor excufe, as it implies that he is very near-fighted, although not totally in the dark. But pray, Mr. Editor, as you muft now perceive you have not taken in all your readers, will you be fo good as explain that part of your joke which relates to a well-drilled dog and a staff in good repair? These are matters beyond my comprehenfion. The Doctor feems but a poor hand at drilling his dogs, although he has contrived to muzzle one or two of them; and as to a staff, I really do not think he has any thing of the kind to fpare at prefent. The charitable neighbourhood you speak of has afforded him a few fupple jacks; but as to a staff, poor man! where is he to fumble for it? Yours, &c. April 30. PETER PRY. HA THE POLITICAL CERBERUS. A DREAM. [From the Times.] AVING one day lately had fome difcourfe with a friend, on the fubject of politics, a topic with which, I confefs, I am but little converfant, and my mind being full of it when I went to bed, foon after I dropped afleep I had the following dream, in which perfons, place, and things, were all as diftinctly before my eyes, as if I had been wide awake. Methought a tall comely female figure, clothed in white, and having a palm-branch in her hand, conducted me into a large faloon, where there were feats on each fide, a grand chair in the centre, and galleries all round. This place," faid my guide, 66 was once the chapel of St. Stephen the Martyr, though it is now made ufe of for ftate purpofes; but, take heed how you approach; and know that I am the fame perfon, who, under the name of the Sibyl, once conducted Æneas into the infernal fhades; at the entrance of which stood the famed and ferocious Cerberus, that triple-headed dog, whofe dreadful howlings and barking conftituted a part of the horrors of Tartarus, the vaults of which continually echoed with the yells and cries of that firft monfter of Hell. : "Here alfo, in this once facred chapel, ftands another monftrum horrendum, though more in the human fhape than in the canine; it is called, the Triple Coalition it has three heads and three mouths, like the Stygian Cerberus. The body from which thefe heads grow is thick and bulky, and its head and eyes bespeak a spirit within full of plots and mifchief; the two thin meagre heads, with long necks on each fide of this heterogeneous monfter, have, to the astonishment of all who hear it, been lately ftuck on this large trunk, and are trying to act in concert with the middle head, but it is fuppofed this never can be effected. However, all the three mouths vomit out fire and brimftone, and all act together in a ftrange fort of concert, in which no harmony is to be heard or expected; for whilft one of the mouths barks againft war, another barks against peace, and the third barks again ft, what is called, in plain familiar language, the Volunteer Syftem. In one thing, however, they are of accord, and that is, they all bark against a virtuous administration, in hopes of barking themfelves into power, though it is most certain, that, if this fhould be accomplished, they will immediately bark, fnarl, and growl at one another.” I now faid to my guide, Surely this must be a very dangerous creature." She replied, "Moft true it is fo; and vithal, fo crafty and infidious, that when it has moft mifchief in view, it always conceals its defigns behind fome plaufible covering, and, cameleonlike, fuits itself to any colour; often, Proteus.like, to to any fhape; and seldom, if ever, makes known its true motives and reafons for what it does. "Thus, if a Minifter be careful of the public money, he is reprefented as not being fufficiently liberal to thofe who deferve well of their country. If in any thing he goes beyond the most rigid economy, oh! he is wafteful, prodigal, loads the nation with taxes to carry on his most favourite fchemes. If troops for the national defence be called out to be trained and exercifed for any length of time, oh! this is laying an intolerable burden upon them, by taking them fo much from their families and their occupations. If this time be fhortened, then how is it poffible they fhould become good foldiers without more training and difcipline? "If the Minifter talks of invafion, he is an alarmist. If he does not, he is negligent in putting the nation in a pofture of defence, whilft the enemy is at the door. In fhort, do what he will, or what he may, all is wrong, nothing right. "The moft fhining abilities, which have been displayed and univerfally acknowledged in the most arduous offices, will now lofe their name, and weaknefs and imbecility must be the watchword of the day; and whilft not a fingle charge of corruption can be found, malice will be raking for fomething or other to lay the finger on, among the papers which the honour and fecrets of Government render it impoffible should be produced." Whilft my conductrefs was thus inftructing and leading me by the hand, I obferved the floor of the place full of rats, all running out of the burrows from fide to fide; happening, as I thought, to put my foot upon one of thefe voracious animals, the creature gave me a bite, which caufed me to fcream out fo loud, that I waked myself, and finding my Sibyl had left me, I cried out, Behold it was a dream! April 30. THE THE CAMPHIRE BAG. [From the fame.] F aromatic drugs have force IF To check the paffions' mad'ning course, Love-lorn Ge tells his tale, In words and tones that will not fail; But grieving there for joys once tafted, ANTI-VULPES. OPINIONS |