our first thoughts sugest, and by that neglect deservedly loose the hapines of a second good thought. But had you now stayd for a second thought, you would not think them ill naturd lovers that can be plesd with there owne resolutions, because where we resolve well we may not onely rong our selves, but others, not to be constant to it; nor nede we feare that homebred love you speake of to be without care and pation; for in even our perfectest resolves, we shall find both in humaine life; and twas a wise providence that made it so. For if Heavin be so little sought for or thought of in this condition, how litle had it bin if we had bin exemted from them. Nor can yr kind words brede a vanitye in me, to beleve my absence can be for any time the los of any ioy to yr soule or sence, you haveing reason inough to know, and I to se, I meret nether; tis onely I may feare, a los in yr kind thoughts, who had nothing to conserne them by but that fre goodnes that will shew you many more worthy subiects to bestow them on. I think none are to be blamd for admiring, as you express, the lock and key of the cabinet nature hath for the soule, since many times tis worth it: but that our thoughts should receave a satisfaction there without loking within, I think is blame worthy (to give the best powre of our soule the will for outward goods). But sure you mistook the word when you say, naturally we canot love the best qualitys in a deformed creature:* sensually you ment: but nature if not corupted leades to all reason, that, to all love where merited: tis trew we may like the exactest peice of nature where ill qualityes inhabit, but love is iustly forbiden there as so above whats there dew; for I beleve reason the onely pilot of good love, and yet it admits of pation as I understand it. Our savior and many of his great saints exprest it themselves; for the feling of pation is no ill, but the imoderation in it. It semes by yr owne argument that reson and sence are remote; * Though we may esteem, and perhaps love, an ugly or deformed person, for the qualities of the mind, and heart, yet it is certain that virtue gains additional charms from external beauty. Gratior et pulchro veniens in corpore virtus, says Virgil; and Milton has enforced the same sentiment: So spake the cherub, and his grave rebuke, grace that a spiret should dye in a sensitive creature, and be imortall in a rational one. But I canot deside why God gives Heavin to fooles, and idiots who seme as sensitive as they; tis inough to shew tis best when he doth it who is best and most knowing of what he doth. 'Tmay be, tis the reward of some vertue in there parents; for if we be punishd to the third and fourth generation for our parents ofences, mercy can rech forther in rewards. I canot think it too much presumtion to say we love God, since tis the best gift we have the best powre of our soule. The feare, adoration, and reverence, must nedes prosede from a love of God. He authorises this when he tould St Mary Magdalin, many sins were forgiven her because she loved much. Nor canot you upon second thoughts but alow religious a meret far above what we can sofer, since knowledge and truth it selfe hath given them the preheminence above our state of life. At there entrance they renowned all deare to them; and therefore 'twas thought fit by iustice and goodnes it selfe, they should poses hundred fould. We should think ourselves twere unfit, had we a powre, they should ever want any thing that had given us all : how can they mis it then from God, who rewards a cup of cold water given for his sake: thus hapy tis to love him who rewards our gift, so much of which was his owne, by so many and iust titles before." You may aprove the pilot that governes his ship in a trobled storme, but you may say he is' wiser who doubts himselfe so much never to come there. I beleve short diet, want of slepe, corse linen, and yr trobles of mind may have much out gon those sofrings; but they have a will to be mortefied in all for God; and I feare (by my selfe I give this iudgment) you have at desire to be without them. I beleve with you, they inioy a calme and peace the world canot give, a Heavin on earth; but I beleve, too, they have deservd it better. For if, as you say, to be lessend in ones inioyments be the greatest paine, to find joys in all these willing mortefecations, must needes be the greatest pleasure. Nor are we disalowed to love hansome creatures provided the intencion be good; for nothing is a right obiect for love but goodnes. But I se in that question you were afrayd of transgresing the bounds of (good love) Belamore, which you so kindly wish extended to Canwell; and I and Mr Aston, beleve you and my sister give us large possessions in yr good will to us that which we more iustly valew than those posesions you wishd us. You hapyly resolve the contemplative and sufring life to feare God, but let love to him first make you doe so; for love always includes feare, but not always feare love; therfore to love all the world, resembles God best. That you and my sister shall ever have my harteest wishes of all of joys to you both, you canot dowt, who have so much obliged Mr Aston and me, yr most afectionate servants, KATHERIN ASTON.* * At the bottom of this letter, I found a small bit of paper pinned on to it, with some rusty pins, containing these words: "I hope you thought upon me of St Simon and Judes day, the sixteenth yeare of the happiest maried state can admit, for so long have I bin so." |