To guard and to avenge this favour'd land, Though gleams the sword in every Briton's hand, Still o'er our fields waves Concord's filken wing, Still the Arts flourish, and the Mufes fing; While moral Truth and Faith's celeftial ray Adorn, illume, and blefs a George's profperous fway. ANECDOTES. WHEN the fon of a certain London banker had eloped to Scotland with a great heirefs, whom he married, ftill retaining a paternal tafte for parfimony, he objected to the demand of two guineas made by the rivetter at Gretna Green, ftating, that Capt. had reported the canonical charge to be only five fhillings!" True," replied Vulcan; "but Capt.is an Irishman, and I have already married him five times, fo I confider him as a good cuftomer; but perhaps I may never fee your face again. A JACK Tar, having been long in a French prifon, was afked, on his return, whether he had not got a fmattering of their lingo?" No," replied Jack; "they call things by wrong names; they call a horse a Shovel, and a hat a chopper +.” THE deceafed Count Bibb, one night at the Cidercellar, told a friend that he intended to leave twenty pounds to be spent at his funeral; which induced the other to afk him, if the money was to be fpent going or returning?-Bibb good-humouredly replied, "Going, to be fure; for, when you return, I shan't be with you. AS the late old Lord Nugent was riding out in the coach of the Dutchess of whofe frailties he * Cheval. + Chapeau. F 6 well well knew, and whofe prudery he liked to expofe, he put his head out of the window, on the Surry fide of the Thames, and, after looking earneftly for fome time, exclaimed, "Good God, that I fhould live to see this ! ”—“ What, my Lord! what is it that you fee?" rejoined the Dutchefs, cafting her eyes the fame way. "Why, my Lady, a group of women bathing at broad noon-day!"" Women!" faid fhe, looking more inquifitively; "why, my Lord, they are all men!"—"Well," replied his Lordship," it may be fo; for your Grace's eye-fight is much better than mine !" SARAH, Dutchefs of Marlborough, once preffing the Duke to take a medicine, with her ufual warmth faid, "I'll be hanged if it do not prove ferviceable." Dr. Garth, who was prefent, exclaimed, "Do take it then, my Lord Duke; for it must be of fervice one way or the other." SIR Charles Wager had a fovereign contempt for phyficians; though he believed a furgeon, in fome cafes, might be of fervice. It happened that Sir Charles was feized with a fever while he was out upon a cruise; and the furgeon, without much difficulty, prevailed upon him to lofe a little blood, and fuffer a blifter to be laid on his back; by and by it was thought neceffary to lay on another blifter, and repeat the bleeding, to which Sir Charles alfo confented: the fymptoms then abated, and the furgeon told him, that he muft now fwallow a few boluffes, and take a draught. "No, Doctor," fays Sir Charles, "you shall batter my hulk as long as you will, but d-n you, you shan't board me. THE fon of a Scots Marquis, who had feen much fervice on the Continent in the late war, was accosted by by a friend in Bond Street, who facetiously defired, that, as hoftilities were over, his whiskers might be put upon a Peace establishment."-" To that I have no objection," was the aufwer; "but I defire that at the fame time your tongue may be put on the Civil List.” A BAILIFF in December arrested a man, who, not being able to cafh up, went to gaol; however, before taking leave, Mr. Nab asked him for a Christmas Box-"Why, truly," fays the fellow, "I've got into a pretty Box here, you may take it." A LAWYER and a phyfician lately much obftructed the hilarity of a very jovial company, by introducing a long-winded converfation on the fuperfluities of life, and how many were its needlefs wants. A merry fellow, vexed to be thus annoyed, exclaimed, "Very true, Gentlemen; I am myself an example of the juftness of your remark, having lived all my life without wanting either a Lawyer or a Phyfician." as you "DOCTOR," faid a London Lawyer, who was lately examining a mine in Cornwall, to a Clergyman, his friend, who stood at the top, know all things from the furface to the centre, pray how far is it from this pit to that in the infernal regions?""I cannot exactly afcertain the distance," replied the Divine; "but let go your hold, and you'll be there in a minute." A CERTAIN well-known Lord, who has a fon one of the greateft coxcombs in London, caught him lately admiring himfelf at his toilet. "Jack," faid the Nobleman, "you are very fond of yourfelf.""Yes, my Lord, as the Ladies think me an Adonis, I must take care of my perfon."-" Well, my boy,' rejoined his father, "your felf-admiration has one advantage, at leaft; it has no rival." LINES BY A MAN WHO FORGOT THAT HE HAD BEEN MARRIED, BY THE WOMAN WHOM HE FORGOT. Against my mem'ry oft I ftrove; That, though you may forget your love, A EPIGRAM. SOBER Cit, of Hymen's school, Once with'd that ev'ry horned fool Might be plung'd headlong in the sea. Yet ere you this advice proclaim, I'd have you Лlily learn to fwim." G. A. T. RETORT COURTEOUS. N"gaieté de cœur," faid Lady Prue I « My Lord, my dear! I ask what would you do, Should our invaders, 'mong their bafe defigns, That we muft take, our grief to cheer, H. AN AN IMPROMPTU. HOWE'ER a paradox it reads, 'T is true in ev'ry part, I've seen a female fair, whose deeds Who ne'er coquets it with her eyes, Or lends an ear where fcandal flies, And yet has grace and charms to please, THE DEXTEROUS EVASION. HE Doctor was juft on the very last stair THE V. Tow'rds the room of his fon, when of damfels a pair Whilft the youth had just time to lay hold of a book, He began moft intensely to pore. When the Doctor beheld him, cried he, overjoy'd, "To fee you, dear Richard, fo wifely employ'd, Your affectionate father much pleases; But what were you reading?—your Blackstone ?" Why, no, Sir, I was only beguiling an hour or fo, Sir;" "But with what?"-" Why, fome Fugitive Pieces !**. THE LADY'S CHOICE. [From the Suffex Chronicle.] LUCINDA's luck did spinfters grudge, The |