The Judge was rich, the Sheriff poor, And Mammon fcorn'd for Cupid's lure, But Mifs, whom rank nor wealth could move (For if Jack Ketch had gain'd her love, The hangman fhe 'd have wedded,) Said, "Since to love and cherish too, Judgment may have its weight with you,] FAT! FAIR! AND FORTY! A BAGATELLE. [From the General Evening Poft.] HEN Delia was young, 't was the fashion to be WHE Not fo large round the waift, as fhe's now 'bout her. knee! Then by acids and starving fhe kept herself under, Till her shape, for its fize, was each thriving girl's wonder. She was Delia the flender, the gay, and the fmart; And, though fmall, fhe made very large holes in each heart! That, when dancing, you'd swear fhe 'd the foot of a fairy; Delia crams every minute rich fauces and wines, For no luscious tid-bit but with bon gout fhe 'il swallow, } TWIRL. WAR WAR OR PEACE. SAYS John to his wife, "A kifs, if you please! EPIGRAM. To lovely woman-fair, but chatt'ring race- D. L. LOVE A-LA-MODE. LOVE ftill commands my heart and purfe, What Jove intended for a bleffing. If faithless Chloe fhould deceive, I wish to love, but not to languish ! D. FOLLY OF OPPOSING LOVE. AGAINST Love a refistance to make, Ye fair-ones, believe me, is vain : BEAUTY. BEAUTY. FROM THE PORTUGUESE OF CAMOENS. -quando te vejo perdo a lingoa, E quando nao te vejo perdo o fifo." RHITMAS, V. iii. p. 53, Ed. Lisbon, 1783. THY lovely charms, celeftial maid, Surpaffing e'en a poet's thought, What lips audacious, vain, and rath, Oh! I can ne'er the theme attempt, Since when I fee thee, I am dumb- Temples OLD NICK. CERTAIN DEATH. A THOUGHT FROM THE FRENCH. SHALL die-in the height of defpair, I fhall die with delight, if the fair Since the fate of my paffion is fure? IMPROMPTU. HUMDRUM complains his giddy wife And vows he cannot bear a life His lot is hard as fate can give, T.B. IMPROMPTU. A Woman finging ballads for money to bury her Hufband, gave rife to the following jeu d'efprit. F 'OR her husband deceas'd, Sally chants the fweet lay, But, I doubt, fince fhe fings for a dead man to-day, A THE PORTRAIT. WIFE Martin had, who was beauteous and young, It was conftantly going, nor ever would ceafe, And depriv'd the poor fellow of all hopes of peace. And a burden it is, which few mortals can bear. Her portrait was drawn by an eminent painter, Whofe performance was not than th' original fainter The eyes, nofe, and mouth, were fo ftrictly from Nature, Of her tongue again going, he stopp'd both his ears. G. B. FEATHERS. At a rout where the ladies' heads were profufely decorated with feathers, the following repartee took place: "WHAT would you do," one day fays my Lord to a wit, "Should your wife thus with feathers equip her?" Why, nothing, my Lord, but what manners permit— I'd just take the freedom to frip her !” THE RETORT. FAN thought, t' other day, that with Con fhe'd be witty, PRO. INSCRIPTI INSCRIPTION FOR A MONUMENT AT OLD SARUM. [From the Suffex Chronicle.] READER, if thou canst boaft the noble name Read, and be envious!-Doft thou fee yon hut, Which bind the people, from theinfelves should spring; That wretched hovel, to the Senate fends WHO, HOW, AND WHEN. AN INSCRIPTION FOR A GREAT HOUSE. LD families of yesterday we fhew, OLD And Lords, whofe fathers were the Lord knows whe. As fure as Bos is Ox, and Sus is Sow, Here Lords have Lords become-the Lord knows how. Such Lords they are, that not one Lord in ten Will act as Lords fhould act-the Lord knows when! SIR, PAROLES AND COUNTERSIGNS. [From the Morning Chronicle.] AT T the prefent important crifis, when the country is threatened by an infolent and atrocious invader; when life, liberty, property, laws, focial order, and religion; every thing which conftitutes public happinefs and private felicity, every thing which is our boast as Britons, or is dear to us as men, is fo immediately |