my, to ascertain what fort of decoration will fuit it. He must adhere to the general fashion, yet modify the drefs to the individual. One woman would appear horrible, in the ftyle which makes another lovely. The Coeffeur must therefore be always.uniform, yet always vary his productions. It is true, the industrious hands, to which the canvafs and the marble owe their metamorphofis, have a fuperiority in one fense over the Coeffeur. Their works poffefs a folidity which immortalizes them. Each fuccccding generation enriches itself with the labours of the preceding. The Coeffeur, has not that good fortune. The fruits of his art are more fleeting than those of the spring. Like the bouquets, whofe brilliancy they poffefs, they difappear with the day which has feen their growth, and find their tomb in the fleep, from whence the beauties they adorned derive new freshness. This is indeed a difad vantage; but ought, the Coeffeur to feel humbled on that account? In this particular, his, art, refembles that which we admire moft in nature. It is the fate of every thing beautiful to fade away and vanish, at the moment when arrived at the highest degree of perfection. The Coeffeur always triumphs over this envious fatality by new creations, Every toilette is a fertile field, where he fcatters his rofes; and the prodigality of the evening is only a pledge of the abundance of the next day. I have hitherto confidered him as a mere artift; but what if I were to enter into a detail of all his virtues? Are not difcretion, refervedness, patience, punctuality, virtues? Of all artifts, is there one to whom they must be more familiar than to the Coeffeur? Admitted to the mystery of the toilet, muft he not, like Job, make a compact with his tongue and his eyes? The more unreferved the confidence, the more circumfpection is required. How great must be his vigilance to keep himfelf conftantly upon his guard. against the charms which are placed in his hands? A new new Pygmalion, does he not run a risk of having his head turned by the divinities whofe heads he is employed to adorn? What fcrupulous modefty does he not require to bear him fafe through fuch variety of danger? He muft not be merely as filent as Job, he must be equally patient. It is not a piece of inanimate metal that he forms; they are beings of quick fenfibility, beings of delicate tafte, accustomed to empire, and who regard every curl of their hair as forming part of their crown. He must therefore follow with his eye their interefting and penetrating glances-he muft divine the effect of a curl or a trefs-he must seize in a moment all the immenfity of rapid combinations which every motion of the comb produces, and anfwer with this inftrument even the filent objections to his procedure. It will be eafily admitted then, that the exercife of this art fuppofes a calm temper, exceffive virtue, attention, and inexhauftible patience, As to punctuality, only think for a moment what diforder would arife in fociety upon all fuch effential `occafions as balls and affemblies, fpectacles and birthday galas, were a Coeffeur to neglect his duty, or flip his memory! How many empty boxes, how many diftreffed families, how many broken engagements, and hence what confufion, what embarraffment, both in public and private ! THE PHYSIC verfus MUSIC. From the Morning Poft.] HE lady of a country apothecary, although the did not know a gamut from the ace of fpades, yet, from having picked up fome technical phrafes, was reckoned by the other ladies of the neighbourhood to be a prodigious mufical cognofcente; and was conftantly fhewing her tafte, by inviting thrumming and fqualling evening parties, to the no fmall difquiet of her hul band. Mr. Lenitive, who thought not any compofitions: fo good as thofe of his own drugs, nor any strains fo harmonious as thofe produced by his pefile and murtar, after labouring all day "pro publico bono," was not in a humour to relith, but rather inclined to be furfeited by, fuch difcordant bars to his domeftic rest. He therefore concerted a plan with his journeyman, to put a final clofe to thefe meetings: accordingly, one evening lately, after Mrs. Lenitive had affembled her guefts, and adminiftered the ufual dofe of toafted muffins and fuperbibendum of decoction of fouchong, the led her diffident and blufhing daughter to the piano-forte; but, alas! poor Mifs Lenitive had not. got half through Go to the D and shake yourself, which Mamma was, with her ufual fapience, paffing off to the fcientific auditors for a valuable manufcript piece of the dear delightful Viotti, when honeft Label, true to his master's prefcriptions, began to play his part in the room below, and fo placed his brazen inftrument, wherein were valerian, and other ingredients equally odoriferous, in a state of ebullition, that the fumes. afcended in alt; and fo impreffive was the effect of his performance upon the olfactory faculties, as to produce the most unpleasant confequences-poor dear Mrs. Lenitive, who was always tremblingly alive to, and diftreffed at, the bare idea of any thing that smelled of the shop, made an abrupt cadence into hyfterics; and the party feparated prefto è agitato, in the utmoft confufion-feveral of the old ladies left their youthful wigs behind them,.and are likely to receive the vifits of the apothecary, and four nervous draughts a day, for fome weeks to come. It is feared that it will be a long time before Mrs. Lenitive will recover the fhock her feelings have sustained by this vulgar accident: the only Symptom in her favour is, that the takes every thing "but phyfic. THE THE PHILOSOPHIC WIFE. [From the Oracle] Ladies like variegated tulips fhew: 'T is to their changes halt their charms they owe."-POPE. 7ONDERFUL have been the improvements of the prefent age; and the rapid attainments of the fair fex in knowledge are particularly entitled to our approbation. The following anecdote will illuftrate this fact, and may ferve to excite the emulation of feveral unambitious females, who, content with their prefent fituation in fociety, do not afpire to the higher honours to which they are entitled. Mrs. Whimsey was the daughter of a plain country gentleman, remarkable for his integrity and good fenfe. His only daughter was educated beneath the *paternal roof, and no expenfe was fpared to render her accomplished in the ufeful as well as pleafing arts which are the ornaments of her fex. Mifs Trueman was amiable; and, being heiress to a large eftate, fhe was addreffed by feveral competitors for beauty and riches. Mr. Whimfey, an opulent West India merchant, was the fuccefsful lover, and carried his fair prize from the rural fcenes of Bloomvale, in Kent, to his houfe in Bishopfgate Street. After a moft happy and endearing intercourfe of fome years, a revolution in Mrs. Whimfey's opinions interrupted the cheerful current of domeftic felicity. This inaufpicious event was occafioned by her accidentally meeting with a Mr. Sophifter at the Lady Mayorefs's Eafter gala at the Manfion-house. Sophifter was a philofopher of the modern School and being mafter of the art of reafoning, he fubverted the faith of many a wavering mind among the men, and feduced feveral of the other fex to embrace his pernicious opinions. 63 Mrs. Mrs. Whimsey was charmed with his elegant manners and delufive flattery; and, as fhe had been his partner at the ball, he vifited her next morning, and was introduced to the unfufpicious Mr. W. Sophifter's engaging converfation was fo pleafing to the merchant, that he received a general invitation; and in a few vifits, by the introduction of pernicious books, he triumphed over the weak understanding of Mrs. W. who became a female philofopher. Her converfion -had been retarded by the objections of Mifs Thornton, her coufin, who at firft ridiculed the idea of female equality, but gradually embraced this fanciful opinion herfelf-fo powerful is the fophiftry which flatters human pride! Equality, and its confecutive train of evils, were now established in Bishopfgate Street. Poor Mr. W. beheld with aftonifhment and forrow the change in his wife's demeanour; the haughtiness of her air, her imperious behaviour to the fervants, and utter negligence of her three lovely children, who were now intrufted to the care of a nurfery-maid. His indulgent affection attributed this change to disease, and he trembled lest infanity had visited the deareft inmate of his bofom. Meanwhile both Mrs. Whimfey and Mifs Thornton adopted the most extravagant whims of fashion; and their drefs, manners, and converfation, were more like thofe of high-bred demireps than modeft women. The equality of the fexes was the conftant topic at table; and Sophifter always corroborated the opinion of the ladies in favour of that fashionable doctrine by an appeal to the generofity and the juftice of Mr. W. who was not fufficiently skilled in logic to difpute the question. While Philofophy thus triumphed, Mrs. W. refolved to obtain notoriety by a change in the female garb"The fafhionable world," fays the to her coufin, |