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Both kindred and country are themes to extol,
Which a Cynic alone will deride :
'T is from principle Roger careffes his Moll,
Nay-is vain to announce her his bride;

For, perhaps, none except his fond self will admit
That rotundity argues true grace,

Or a masculine beard for a female is fit,

Or that carbuncles mend a fair face.

This impulfe, methinks, is most kindly ordain'd:
For if, guided by taste, ali were wife,

What rude favage clans to our fhores would be gain'd,
Their old native haunts to defpife!

If feminine beauty to all were the fanie,
What charms would our females difclofe!

But their want of true ornament some would proclaimAs a ring, or a bone-through the nofe.

The Efquimaux prizes his dear native home,

The Hottentot too does the same;

And the former prefers his rude hut to the dome,
The latter his unction-to fame.

Aye, and proudly they vaunt their respective delights,
Their fources of comfort and ease;

The one boasts his prowess in tomahawk fights,
The other his talent-to grease.

When national vigour in arms is the theme,

Let us look at our true British Tar:

That Frenchmen fhould threaten-to him is a dream,

And he's glum-that they keep off fo far;

"For," fays Jack, "if fo be that they start from their holes,
And fhew their lank jaws on the main,
We'll fo pepper their Frenchified foup-meagre fouls,
That they never shall flink home again!"

This prejudice furely is dear to us all,
For it ferves our proud land to uphold;
And never fhall tyranny Britain appal,
Whilft her tars are so ready and bold.
Carey Street.

LEANDER.

A PETER

As

A PETER-PINDARIC ODE.

BY OLD NICK.

S Joan, one eve, according to the plan
Of many Dames as wife as can be,

Trudg'd to a neighb'ring houfe-the Granby-
To fetch away her good old man;

She found him, as the story goes,
Sprawling in the street

With feet

In kennel, taking a comfortable doze.

"What, holla, John!" the Dame now cries,
"You drunken beast, arise!”

At the well-known voice, John op'd his eyes;

But,

As the Poet fays, their fenfe was shut :
And, thinking 'twas a bed, I ween,
And not the ftreet,

He mumbled out, his teeth between,.
"Put, put more clothes upon my feet,
And take (the moon fhone bright)

Take, take away the light."

THE LAST BOTTLE..

THE TOPING PUNSTER'S ADDRESS TO HIS LAST BOTTLE

OF PINE RUM.

BY OLD NICK.

Si quid adhuc ego fum, muneris omne tui eft.

I

TRISTIUM lib. I. Eleg. VI

GRIEVE to fee thee go so fast,
My warmest friend, my nearest, laft!
Rich fon of Sugar, fweet'ning ftrife,
To me the greateft fweet of life:
No dry companion thou, but mellow,.
And fure, of all, the rummest fellow:

Oft,

Oft, oft have I with rapture glow'd,
At what from thy round mouth * hath flow'd:
Oft, too, when finking with thy fill,
Haft thou, my friend, ftood by me STILL;
Oh! I would fooner ceafe to be,
Than lofe one fingle drop † of thee!
Thy love I'll drink ‡, and never stop
Until I've fuck'd § thy latest drop-
Alas! too foon, too foon 't will come,
And I muft pine without my rum:
How deep my grief, of thee bereft,
He beft can tell, who hath no fpirits left!

T

THE BRUSH-MAKERS.

BY THE SAME.

Κοτέει και τεκτονς τεκτων -HESIOD.
"Two of a trade never agree."

WO brufh-makers of fmall renown,

Long had been rivals in the town:-
Whate'er Wilkes afk'd you for a sweeper,
Old Dellman ftraight would fell you cheapert
This conduct ftrange fo much opprefs'd him,
That, meeting once, he thus address'd him :
"Ifteals the ftuff, to fave my pelf,

And then I makes 'em up myfelf;
So cannot think, though oft I try,
How you can cheaper fell than I?”

66

I'll tell you, friend," old Dellinan faid

"I fteals my brushes ready made!"

*It appears that our Toper's Bottle enjoyed the fame advantage as the ancient Greeks

66

-Graiis dedit ore rotundo

Mufa loqui."-HOR.

"Lofe not a drop of the immortal man."-DRYDEN.

σε Εκ δε πιω τον ερωτα.”ΒιοN's Epit.

"Suck my last breath, and catch my flying foul."

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POPE'S Abelard.

THE

THE SALISBURY CHANTER.

[From the General Evening Poft.]

IN Salbury cathedral, fam'd,
A wight, belonging to the choir,
The congregation oft would tire,
With lungs, as if of leather fram'd;
For, being proud
Of finging loud,

He fet at nought all modulation;
And, though the delicate of ear
His braying talent ftruck with fear,
He felt, at least, self-approbation.
Up to the London stage he goes,
His vocal service to propofe;
And by the manager was heard,
Who thus obferv'd: "Upon my word,
I would advife you to go home,
And never quit the facred dome:
The L-d is merciful and kind;
No better master you can find,

In pity you'll be heard the while you pray;
But quit the church, and you'll be d-'d next day."
Carey Street.

LEANDER.

ON THE CANAL CUT BY THE SIDE OF THE SOUTHAMPTON WATER,

SOUTHAMPTON's wife fons found their river so large, Though 't would carry a hip, 't would not carry a barge;

So wifely determin'd to cut by its fide

A ftinking canal, where finall veffels might glide:
Like the man, who contriving a hole in his wall

To admit his two cats-the one large, t' other fmall-
When a great hole was cut for the first to go through,
Would a little one have for his little cat too!

I

INNS

INNS FOR BALLOON PASSENGERS.

BY JOSEPH MOSER, ESQ.

[From the European Magazine.]

WE have often heard of caftles in the air: probably many of my readers may have been Speculators in thefe kind of buildings, which feem to poffefs advantages not always concomitant to more fubftantial erections, as they are not, in the first instance, attended with the rifk and expenfe of thofe whofe foundations are upon the earth; and, fecondly, every man is his own architect, and, confequently, avoids the trouble aud litigation which, in former ages (for I would by no means infinuate that fuch things ever happen in the prefent), have been known to arife from the active zeal, and difinterested affiduity, of perfons to whom the ex.ecution of great and elegant defigns hath been delegated. The ingenious fect of castle-builders have therefore, from the time of Ariftophanes (how long preceding him it is not material to inquire), been extremely numerous; and, while terreftrial materials are fo dear, as, in contradiftinction to other builders, they work cheap, I intended to have patriotically propofed, that they fhould, in the modern jargon, have been fyftematized, organized, and made a part of fome national inftitute, perhaps in petto, which, I conceive, would have been as ufeful as fome other branches of a Society of that nature actually in existence; but upon looking at fome late Tranfactions, I found that many of thefe foaring geniufes have anticipated me, and have it now in contemplation to defcend from their fublime altitudes, and to place their, at prefent," cloud-capt towers and gorgeous palaces" upon terra firma, to the great improvement of the metropolis.

Leaving them, therefore, to the execution of their great defigns, which, I have a prefentiment, will, like noble and virtuous actions, bring with them their own

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