Addington. He is turning continually round every other star. Let him but approach in the leaft towards Canning, Fox, or even the fmalleft planet, he is carried away by their motion. Pitt exerts over him the influence of the moon, which poffeffes the power of raifing or lowering the tides. This ftar is rapidly approaching to an eclipfe.

EPIGRAM

ON THE NEW SERIO-COMIC PIECE THE CARAVAN ;' INSCRIBED TO THE PRINCIPAL DRAMATIS PERSONA.

NOV

[From the Times.]

OW Attic wit's o'ercome by Gothic rage,
And authors throw cold water on the stage;

While, honeft Carlo, envying even you,

They make their very dramas Dog-grel too.

Hampstead.

THE HUMBLE PETITION

OF THE INHABITANTS OF MR. PIDCOCK'S MENAGERIE, TO MR. REYNOLDS,

SHEWETH,

THAT your Petitioners have been long immured within these walls, bereft of liberty and independence, and pining in fickness and defpair: That a ray of hope has this morning beamed into their cells, when they were informed by a humane vifitor, that one of their race, which human pride debafes under the name of brute, has been appointed to act a part in one of your dramas *. Your Petitioners have heard that the dog CARLO obtained "univerfal applaufe from a most brilliant and overflowing audience;"-that he difcovered moral feeling as well as dramatic fkill; for "he fmiled" at his mafter, and "did not turn tail upon him for faving a fellow-creature's life:" nay,

*The Caravan, an afterpiece first performed at Drury Lane Theatre, Dec. 5, 1893.

they

they have been informed that Carlo abfolutely fecured the fuccefs of the piece; for, after having been in the water, he fhook more wit from his hairy coat (eftimating it by the laughter of the audience) than fell from his master's tongue, though very jocofe; and at the conclufion, he received all the praife, nothing being heard but, "An't he a fine dog? Did you fee the dog? How excellently he did it!" &c. &c. Now your Petitioners fufpect that this applause will be for him but temporary; they have no doubt that a fympathy was excited between the creature and his fpectators, a greater part of whom in the boxes are faid to be of the canine race; and as puppies do not acquire the faculty of feeing till the ninth day, they will certainly be blind for a fhort time to his moft undramatic tricks. And as they are well convinced that you defpife the proud criticifm which will cenfure the introduction of this brute, as a paltry trick, a grofs abuse of the drama, and a moft miferable want of taste, we hope that in your next piece you will be good enough to affign characters to fome or all of us, wherein we may acquire more permanent fame for you and for the Theatre. And your Petitioners fhall ever pray, &c.

AS S one of our Theatres has lately been dignified by the appearance of a new Performer, who cannot, like Shenstone, be grateful that his name is not liable to a pun, there is every reafon to expect an inundation of that species of wit threatening to overflow the banks

of

of the newspapers, and carry with it Bonaparté and the Invafion-Windham and the Volunteers the Doctor and his Income Tax-and every other obftruction or rubbish it may meet with in the way. Already the wits in the Green-room, in the Lobbies, and in the Coffeehouses, are furbishing up their old jokes on dogs and puppies, and the epigrammatifts are fharpening their points on this important fubject. Upon all thefe confiderations, and to prevent counterfeits, I beg leave to fend you a fpecimen of the best puns that have been, or fhall be, or can be made; and by virtue of all the authority I am vefted with, I hereby prohibit and forbid all perfon or perfons to make ufe of any other puns, quirks, or quibbles, for the space of three weeks from the date hereof.

1. Although the players of both houfes have lately not had the privilege of giving orders, the new performer has his bones regularly fent to him.

2. The Caravan was originally intended to be a five-act piece, but the Managers recommended it to be cur-tailed.

3. Some critics think that there are too many performers engaged in the new Entertainment at Drury Lane. The ftage literally overflows with them.

4. It is confidently faid, that the Managers of a certain Theatre have made a Grand Junction with the New River Company.

5. The audiences are now fo crowded to fee the new performer, that a worthy City Baronet declared it put him in mind of the dog days!

6. We are extremely unwilling to touch upon the private foibles of the theatrical corps, when they do not interfere with their profeffional engagements; but we are compelled to obferve, that on Monday night's performance Mr. Carlo was evidently in liquor!

7. Mr. Reynolds very properly gave up his Comedy*

* "The Three Per Cents," performed Nov. 12, and withdrawn after the first night.

in

in compliance with the taste of the town. With refpect to his new Farce, he may be permitted to be more dog-matical!

8. The fpectators in the gallery, who love nature, are particularly delighted with the scene of real water. "None of your made stuff!"

9. The dearth of good dramatic writers is a general complaint, yet perhaps the real caufe is indolence.There are few men who might not produce an Entertainment, if they would fet doggedly about it!

10. The critics think the new performer's part is too fhort, and object that it is all dumb fhow. The author, perhaps, had not a word to throw to a dog!"

11. Since the appearance of the new performer at Drury Lane Theatre, Mr. Fofbrook declares that he is every day worried for places.

12. The public in general are furprised to see fuch a large piece of real water collected every night; but fome fhrewdly fufpect that Mr. Carlo gives them a lift

there too!

13. The expenfe of our theatrical amusements, compared with thofe of the French, has fometimes been remarked by travellers. They muft allow, however, that we now are entertained dog-cheap.

14. Players of both fexes have long complained of critics as a fnarling race. They may rejoice now that they have got a brother on the stage, who will fnarl and bite with any critic.

15. Notwithstanding the ferious pofture of public affairs in this country, our tafte for the amufements of the drama increases very rapidly. It has, indeed, become a canine appetite.

Fifteen to the dozen is honeft meafure, Mr. Editor, and I hope will fuffice for the prefent. Should there be a farther demand, I fhall be ready to come forward a fecond time. In the mean while, I congratulate the town on this important acquifition, which must likewife be acceptable to Government itfelf, as this is the

only

only performer on either stage who is directly tasted to the exigencies of the State.

I am, Sir, your humble fervant,

IN

."-SWIFT.

"You fhall read bad puns."

N pointing his wit against me for fetting myself up for an actor, your correfpondent Dog-berry verges into doggerel, and deferves a licking. However, it is but a pun-y effort at beast, by which he has four-footed all title to curtefy.

For all the clapping I get, I defpife fawning, but I will not be run down; and if he recurs to his tricks, and fpreads more of those waggish tails which he nofe are mere idle jaw that muft shock every well-bred creature, he may perhaps be unkennelled and dragged into view, and finally hunted out of fociety. This I will tell him to his teeth.

Sir, I am now no rover, but hold-faft by my engagement. I was fcent for to fill a part which I cannot help fticking to; and notwithstanding all the spleen Dog-berry vomits, I fhall return to it every night whilst I tarry-here.

I do not pretend to dive into his motives; but fink or fwim, I fhall (as a matter of course) purfue him through all his windings, trip off his burk, expofe the litter of blind abfurdities which he whelps, and take care that he no longer impofcs on the world with falfe collars. How I mean to proceed, is a fecret which he fhall not worm out of me though he should go mad. But I am on the watch, and shall bring him down on his bare bones.

I am not difpofed to pick quarrels, but I will not bear

to