holics in general, among whom we held many eminent fituations in CAThedrals, and were well acquainted with all the DOGmas of the day. To fay nothing of the force in ancient war of the CATapulta, are not cats at this moment able to annoy and impede the bestmounted cavalier? But what does not the British Navy owe to us, for that perfection of discipline eftablished, notwithstanding a natural antipathy to water, by that great Admiral CAT o'-NINE-TAILS? Here oui fuperiority over the canine race fhines; as France, whom we have so often "made to skip like rats," has long ago been pronounced a DOG-HOLE. What great advantage muft accrue from the science of CAToptrics!› How useful to the honeft part of the public are CATchpoles! In fhort, the bigheft and the loweft fituations on the face of this earth have been ours: from the CAT-a-mountain to the CATerpillar. I myself am the great grandfon of Whittington's CAT, fo famous in the city of London, and whofe effigies once adorned one of its entrances; and I am elder brother (out of a litter of nine) of that adventurous CAT, Grimalkin, who afcended, with Garnerin, the regions of the air. Indeed, it is clear, from hiftory, that it was our usefulness and our rank, that obtained for us that high privilege, as well known as any axiom of morals, or any com mon faying:

"A CAT may look at a King!!!!

ม

A cruel concatenation of circumftances compels me thus to folicit you. Nothing delights me more than the playhouse. Indeed I was always efpecially fond of " LIGHTS, and devoted to the MEWS. I am ready to fubmit to any theatrical Carechifm you may choose to examine me by: I know Managers are a little DOGmatical, but I will answer you categorically. If my application be vain, it follows, then, that the CAT ftay at home." But, if otherwife, you will find Pufs

1

in

in Boots" a most attractive spectacle. "There be fome that are mad, when they behold a CAT:"-now if we fhould turn the heads of the town, what fuccefs!!! The gnawings of envy would ceafe. If I "Smell a rat," "he is dead, for a ducat."

"Not a Mouse fhall disturb this hallow'd House.”

I have two young daughters, Felina and Mufcipula, playful and dainty creatures, who with the luftre of a CAT's eye would foon put most of your fage tabbies out of countenance; aye, and your moft celebrated vocal performers too. For myfelf, "I'd rather be a kitten again, and cry Mew, than one of thefe fame metre ballad-mongers." Felina has been too erRATIC of late, and has met with a flight hurt, for which he is recommended to use embrocations and CATaplafms. An uncle of mine too (Kit-CAT) has a CATarrhal affection, but would ftill play the part of a HE-CATe, in Macbeth, for inftauce, with any in town. As for me, I'm in excellent health. Throw phyfic to the DOGS, I'll none of it." And there's my young fon (Tom-CAT) a rattler to be fure; but very rational, and at times ratiocinative, and would be a first-rate harlequin, from his furprifing Spring and leap, with which he moft admirably defcribes the catenary curve.

Should my propofal be worth attending to, let me know your mind, and I will make no long paws about it, but nail the bufinefs out of hand. I hope you will catch at this, and I will ratify it inftantly. Your character gives me hopes of our friendship continuing, as I much admire a good Liver, and having to my own fhare, nine Lives, you need not foon fear the lofs of me, nor that of the public Jupport, while you caTer for them to fuch advantage; and I make no doubt we fhall foon put an end to these unnatural DOG

1

SIR,

DOG verfus CAT.

[From the fame.]

To JOHN KEMBLE, Efq.

OF COVENT GARDEN THEATRE.

SHOULD not prefume to intrude, at this moment, into the fublime regions of your tragic mind, but for the efforts of a nine-lived Rival, who, in THE TIMES of Saturday, under the fignature of CAT-0, lays claim to the patronage of that Monarch to whom you fo worthily fupply the place of Prime Minifter.

CAT-O, Sir, feeks to recommend himfelf as a Cat of learning. He has made, no doubt, a formidable `difplay of keen fcented refearches in genealogy, by ranfacking the dictionaries of the English language to trace out vocabulary affinities, where none, either natural or historical, exifted: and he fo effectually punned me out of all patience in this purfuit, that I was tempted to exclaim, in his own strain

"Quoufque tandem abutere CAT-ilina patientia noftra ?".

But, Sir, notwithstanding all the hard names CAT-0 may prefs into the fervice of his family efcutcheons, or however wide his refearches, even to the CAT-acombs of Egypt, to prove the extent and antiquity of his connexions; yet, Sir, I truft, as a plain English Dog, I can fubftantiate fuch extenfive proofs of antiquity and high-blooded connexion in my family, as muft place my claims on a ground infinitely above thofe of CAT-0, or any other of the whole Feline family, for fupport, as a public performer.

Sir, if I were merely difpofed to appeal to the annals of the ftage, I fhould there find recorded the performances of many Learned Dogs, Dancing Dogs, and other ingenious Dogs, even within my own day, who have devoted their talents to the public amufement, with much eclat and advantage to their employers; as the Sieur Aftley, and the fage managers of

Sadler's

Sadler's Wells, can atteft. But who ever heard of a Cat as a dramatic performer?-We have witneffed, indeed, a Drumming Hare, a Learned Pig, a Mufical Turkey, and a Learned Poney; but I have ranfacked, in vain, the Prompter's records, and perufed whole volumes of play-bills, without finding a fingle Cat among the Performers.

If I look, Sir, among the fupporters of the drama · before the curtain, in every part of the house, I would alk, who have at all times contributed more liberally than the differeut branches of my family? Who has not heard of the Jolly Dogs, the Pickled Dogs, the Hearty Dogs, the Frolicking Dogs, the Dashing Dogs, the Amorous Dogs, the Sad Dogs, the Wicked Dogs, the Scape-grace Dogs, the Droll Dogs, the Diverting Dogs, and many others whom I could name, and who have been, in all ages, the chief fupporters of all the temples of mirth, amusement, and revelry ? Even the younger branches of our family, who ftill keep up the fpirit of the box-lobby, and dash upon the prado of Bond Street, are allowed to have their ufe. If I look to the fair fex, what beings have been more anxiously cherished, or more tenderly careffed by them, than our race? Have we not been their companions in their bedchambers, feated on their laps, combed with their fair hands, wrapped in their muffs, fed from china or filver with the most delicate viands and fweetmeats; attended by their phyficians, and fhared the tendereft cares and fondeft folicitudes, when their most ardent fuitors and half-expiring lovers have been rejected with difdain? If we look to the admiration and fupport of the Squirearchy of Old England, what class of beings have, for centuries, occupied more of their attention, their patronage, their company, and converfation? For our fociety, they abandon, before the morning's dawn, the couch of beauty, and cheerfully encounter the chilling breeze, or dripping rain, to follow us over hill, dale, and bramble, in the arduous chase, at the

perpetual risk of neck and limb; and after having followed us all day, with fhouts of eager joy, they talk of us all night with rapture, till the united influence of Bacchus and Morpheus feals up their mouths, and configns them to the chambers of neglected beauty.

Nor is our race lefs admired in the political circles: for how oft have 1, with fecret rapture, liftened to the eloquent encomiums of the philofophic W-nd-m, on the accomplishments of the "true-bred British Bull Dog," whofe fierce courage and invincible ardour render him a fit figure to enrich the rhetoric of those orators who fpeak the juft eulogiums of our gallant tars. And if I look, Sir, to the annals of war, I there find that our alliance and prowefs have been fedulously courted by thofe warriors and conquerors, who found human means inadequate to the achievements of proud trophies that have decorated the brows of the first conquerors of America, and the laft conquerors of the Weft-Indian Maroons; and who found, in the Canine Regiments of Cuba, allies much more formidable than the Invincible Legion of the renowned Bonaparté.

Having thus, Sir, proved hiftorically the honours of the doghood, I feel it unneceffary to dwell dog-matically on the field of demonstration, which I might further explore, in fupport of our claims. I reft not, Sir, upon puns, for the proofs of our merits; for our fidelity has never been reproached with the appellation of Pun-ic faith. But, Sir, I can go to ftill higher authority for the proofs of my defcent. I can trace our genealogy to the regions of the ftars, and boaft an influence there to which not CAT-o, nor any of his monfing race, can afpire. Which, I would demand, amongst the bright galaxy of the fkies, can boaft more influence over the affairs of Man, than the DOG-ftar? Is it not from him the whole race derive that warmth of temper, that heat of blood, that ardour of paffion, which fire the foul to generofity, to love, to deeds of heroifm and glory, without which man would have remained

torpid,