-torpid, like the fluggish animals of the frozen zone? Nor fhould we, without his influence, have ever heard of thofe deeds of love and war which alternately promote and prune the exuberance of population, and enrich hiftory with events. I fhould be a fad dog, indeed, Sir, if I fuffered the honours of my family to be purred and mewed away -by any moufer in Christendom; and the applauses of a British audience, which have hitherto honoured my humble performances, have taught me to fet at defiance all the machinations of a Cat-iline confpiracy. CARLO. SIR, HONOURABLE DOGS. [From the British Prefs.] REYNOLDS's Caravan having, as it were, "let flip the dogs of war" at poor Carlo, who has had his hide cur-ried by them in a most dog-matical manner, as well in dog-ged profe, as in dog-grel verse, I fhall beg leave, in a few words, to vindicate the honourable character of the canine race, against thefe curfed fnarlers, who, in fhewing their CANINI DENT-es, (abfit pun!) prove that they have not yet cut their dentes fapientia. "Indeed, I would rather be a dog, and bay the moon," than deny them the advantage which they feem to enjoy in the proverb-" Every dog has his day *." Did not a fect of ancient philofophers (doubtlefs out of respect to that animal) name themselves Cynics, from a Greek word fignifying dog, and was not their founder, the great philofopher and moralift, Antifthenes, called a fincere dog? Did not the foul of one of the friends of Pythagoras choofe to animate the -body of a dog, in preference to that of any other See Cur-ious Proverbs, p.11. creature; and is not this afcertained by the fact related, that Pythagoras, feeing fome one beat a dog, begged him to defift, for that in his howling he heard the voice of a friend? Did not the Egyptians worship Anubis? and that his appearance might, in their opinion, be truly godlike, did they not give him the head of a dog? And what do not your gallant feamen owe to the Polar star, or Cynofure, which is a Greek compound, fimply meaning the dog's tail? Thus, in oppofition to Virgil's Fame, who "Ingrediturque folo, et caput inter nubila condit," between the Egyptians and your tars, the dog has his head on Earth and his tail in Heaven! Greatly is Heaven adorned by him, indeed, both in his conftellation in the Northern as well as Southern hemisphere; in the latter, the aftronomer fees him under the denomination of Canis minor, or the little dog; and in the former, beneath Orion's feet, he beholds Canis major, or the great dog. Let us now defcend from the celeftial regions, and fuppofe we alight on Venice. Who is there the chief magiftrate? A Doge! for fo they affectedly spell the word, and would derive it from Dux; but this flimfy pretence, to blink the queftion of their origin, expofes itfelf. Brunckenbacchius, the great German commentator, affures us, that all the Dogs (or Doges, if they will have it fo) of Italy, fpring in a right line from certain puppes left by Æneas ftanding on the fhore of Caieta. See Brunckenbacchius on this paffage, Stant litora puppes-En. 6. I might build much to the fame of the race, on the virtues of the faithful dog of Ulyffes; and many other of his worthy brethren might I reckon on my lift of honour; but I fhall no longer dwell on earthly dogs. To Hell I go! and there, in Cerberus, what do I behold? A dog, the guardian of the place. Thus doth he at once illumine the fields of Heaven, and protect the gates gates of Hell. Can you be fo blind in your judgment, and fo narrow in your views, as to believe that he does nothing more in his infernal office? Charon's bark, being in a crazy ftate, never carries over more than three perfons, who are conftantly upfet; and furely it cannot be too much for you to believe, that it is then the duty of Cerberus to plunge into the Styx (for, unlike other dogs, he's not afraid of Styx), and, with his treble jaws, to bring them all three fafe on fhore. But, this thrice-capital dog, it must be remembered, is of immortal breed. Other dogs must be content with one head; and even fo, they are often much better off than their masters! I am, I confefs, not a little warm upon all fubjects; but if I have betrayed more than ufual warmth on this laft head or heads, I trust that I thall be excufed."Love me, love my dog." OLD NICK. P. S. Since more heads than one have been kept above water by honeft Carlo (see an admirable caricature just publifhed), I hope that we shall never again hear the phrase "Gone to the dogs," but with a meaning the very reverse of that which it has hitherto obtained. THEATRICAL INTELLIGENCE EXTRAORDINARY. THE [From the Oracle] HE Manager of the Little Theatre in Downing Street having lately attempted to feduce a very popular actor from his prefent engagements, received the following anfwer, which we recommend in all fimilar cafes; many fuch applications being likely to be made in other quarters this feason.. 66 DOCTOR, "I fcorn your offers, and fhould think myfelf dif graced by being in your company. You are an impi D 6 dent dent dog to make me fuch a propofal. I and my family, Doctor, are on a very different footing from you and yours; we have made fome noife in the world long before we were brought on this flage. We are an honest, open-hearted, and generous race, faithful to our masters, attached to our friends, and grateful to our benefactors. We fcorn to turn tail, like you and your whole pack, on the men we have been fawning upon; or to bite the hand that has been feeding us. "Befides, Doctor, your example is a leffon to me not to undertake parts which are beyond my abilities. Wherever I appear, it is in my own element. I with you could fay the fame; not but that I think myself in all refpects very much your fuperior. I can fetch and carry at command as readily as yourself. When any thing is put into my mouth, I can retain it faith fully, and afterwards deliver it with a good grace. Can you do as much? I am, indeed, a dumb creature, like yourself; but then I know my own deficiencies, and never have expofed myself before any audience. Is that your cafe? I am faithful, vigilant, and bold. What are you? I can protect my Mafter's property, and defend his perfon. I never crouch to his enemies, nor backbite his friends; I am the terror of the former and the delight of the latter. I ask again, What are you? "But you know the kindness of my nature, and fo you hope to move my pity. You tell me that you are out of your depth. I have long feen it. You call to me, that you are finking as faft as poffible. Who doubts it? That you can't keep your head above water. How fhould you? That every fresh ftruggle plunges you deeper in the mud. I am glad of it, Doctor, with all my heart. You want me to help you out, I am indeed in the daily habit of dragging out one bundle of rags; and to get you out of your prefent fituation would would be a good act, whoever does it. But as for me, there you may flounder and plunge till you are drowned like a rat as you are. "I am, Doctor, yours, "Drury Lane Green Room. CARLO." AN APPROPRIATE NATIONAL ADDRESS. SPOKEN BY MR. RAYMOND, AT DRURY LANE THEATRE, To charm, inftruct, and dignify the age, Was long th' acknowledg'd province of the stage, When the free Mufe, by fashion undebas'd, Stamp'd worth with glory, with dishonour crime, Such were the themes which once true genius fir'd, And while they crown'd the bard with just applaufe, Such are the themes which now attention claim, Since, ere the recent wounds of war are heal'd, Acre |