"cita mors venit, aut victoria, læta.

BRIEF death concludes, or bappy vict'ry crowns." Thus is he, either way, fure, as we fay, "to take fomething by his motion."

But can we doubt that, even now, Time, with -provident care, is weaving laurels for our brows? fince those words which the Roman orator ufed in another fenfe, we fhall without doubt utter with fuch peculiar felicity, as to ftrike a panic in the arms of France. Our leader, fhaking his gown at them, fhall cry, Cedant arma toga! and they will immediately agree to make a furrender.

We have, laftly, this advantage, that in the cafe of * an action of battery," all the blood that is fpilt will be on their heads; for, kill as many as we please, acting with the law on our fide, we can be faid to do them no injury-fince, according to this faving maxim of legal prudence-ACTUS LEGIS nemini facit injuriam. OLD NICK *.

P. S. In the Spectator it is faid, that "a woman never speaks her mind but in the poftfcript;" and as I (whether for my beauty, or my love of deceiving men, or what elfe, I know not) have frequently been compared to a woman, I fhall avail myfelf of the fame privilege. The principal object of my mind when I fat down to addrefs you, was to advert to the notice taken of me by your correfpondent S.; and to affure him, that if he continues to delight in me and my works, he fhall not fail in the end to have his reward. But I am fuddenly called away. They tell me that Bonaparté is dying, and we are all at fixes and fevens below, nothing prepared to receive him.

* I never before thought it worth notice, but I was once (and that's enough) in Scotland, and was on the eve, by preffing folicitations, of being made an LL. D. or Doctor of Laws; but small as the expenfe is, I had not, with all my diligence, from Berwick-upon-Tweed to John o'Groat's Houfe, or Ultima Thule, and back, collected a sufficient number of baubees to defray it.

THE

THE PERPETUAL COMPLAINT.

MR. EDITOR,

[From the Suffex Chronicle.]

BEING among the number of those with whom mankind is continually diffatisfied, I beg leave to •fubjoin my complaints to thofe that have occafionally introduced them to the public, through the channel of your communications. When I tell you I am as old as Time himself, you will allow, that on the score of longevity I ought to be refpected; and when I add that I am venerable in my appearance and temperature, as mortals themselves, you will alfo be difpofed to grant that I am not to be reprobated on the score of inconftancy. Yet fo it is, that even though I seemingly take pains to accommodate my variable difpofitions to the variable difpofitions of mankind, the circumftance produces no fympathetic congruiality between us; and my inconftancy is rendered proverbial, while their own propenfity to ficklenefs never occurs to their recollection. Yet, Sir, I have no quarrel with the world on the fubjects of indifference, neglect,or difregard; for I muft confefs every body pays me due attention; I am inquired after every night and every morning, and am fo much the topic of converfation, and fo regularly introduced after the customary greetings of ceremonial intercourfe, that I may be .id to be a kind of neceffary affiftant to converfation: for when people are barren of ideas, I am always at hand to fupply the vacuity of their minds; yet I am fcarcely mentioned in any other light but as the fource of complaint and diffatisfaction, and without having fome opprobrious epithet attached to my name. Sometimes I am accused of being too warm in my behaviour, fometimes too cold. If I fmile unexpectedly, I am fuf

pected

1

pected of harbouring treacherous defigns; and men fay to one another farcaftically, "We fhall pay for this!" If I continue my placid deportment, and am mild, fweet, and amiable, for any length of time, I am faid to be good-humoured even to fatiety. Some with me to weep when I am difpofed to be merry, and fome to be gay when I am inclined to be fad. Thick, heavy, dull, nafty, are epithets commonly applied to me. If I am fill, 'I am said to be vapourish-if loud, boisterous and rude. Aches, pains, rheumatifms, and fhooting corns, are often attributed to my influence. In fhort, Sir, I am fo watched, fo fcrutinized, fo cenfured, fo abused, every day, that it would feem as if I were a ftranger upon earth, and born but yesterday, rather than an inhabitant of Paradise, known to Adam and Eve, and one who was prefent at the Creation.-But I will not detain you any longer, Sir, for I fee you are looking at me through the window, and meditating an interview with your very old acquaintance

THE WEATHER.

PROLOGUE

SPOKEN BY THE

CELEBRATED MR. BARRINGTON, ON

OPENING THE THEATRE AT SYDNEY, BOTANY BAY.

FROM diftant climes o'er wide-fpread feas we come,
Though not with much eclat or beat of drum,

True patriots all-for be it understood,
We left our country for our country's good:
No private views difgrac'd our generous zeal-
What urg'd our travels was our country's weal;
And none will doubt but that our emigration
Has prov'd moft ufeful to the British nation.
But, you inquire, what could our breasts inflame
With this new paffion for theatric fame ?

What

What, in the practice of our former days,
Could shape our talents to exhibit plays?
Your patience, Sirs; fome obfervations made,
You'll grant us equal to the scenic trade.

He who to midnight ladders is no stranger,
You'll own, will make an admirable Ranger.
To fee Macheath we have not far to roam;
And fure in Filch I fhall be quite at home.
Unrivall❜d there, none will dispute my claim
To high pre-em'nence and exalted fame.

As oft on Gadhill we have ta'en our ftand,
When 't was fo dark you could not fee your hand,
Some true-bred Falstaff we may hope to start,
Who, when well bolfter'd, well will play his part.
The scene to vary, we fhall try in time

To treat you with a little Pantomime.
Here light and eafy Columbines are found,
And well-tried Harlequins with us abound;:
From durance vile our precious felves to keep,,
We often have recourfe to th' flying leap;
To a black face have fometimes ow'd escape,.
And Hounslow Heath has prov'd the worth of crape.
But how, you afk, can we e'er hope to foar
Above these fcenes, and rife to tragic lore?
Too oft, alas! we forc'd th' unwilling tear,
And petrified the heart with real fear.
Macbeth a harvest of applause will reap,.
For fome of us, I fear, have murder'd fleep;
His Lady, too, with grace, will fleep and talk-
Our females have been us'd at night to walk.
Sometimes, indeed, fo various is our art,
An actor may improve and mend his part;,
"Give me a horse," bawls Richard, like a drone
We'll find a man would help himself to one.
Grant us your favour, put us to the test,
To gain your fmiles we 'll do our very best:
And, without dread of future Turnkey Lockits,
Thus, in an honeft way, ftill pick your pockets..

ANTICIPATION..

ANTICIPATION.

EXTRACT OF A LETTER FROM THE LONDON COURIER, DATED MONDAY, THE 26TH SEPTEMBER 1904. [From the Calcutta Chronicle.]

YESTERDAY the Quaddy floop, Capt. Bagfhot, arrived in the river, and brought the following intelligence from the rebel colonies.

Botany Bay, Sept. 3. The ftates of this province, finding that the Commiffioners fent to England have not been fuccefsful, have refolved to arm the militia, and put the fort and caftle into a proper ftate of defence. The equestrian statue of George IV. which was erected fome years fince in the middle of the grand fquare, has been pulled down, and the metal melted into implements of war :-fuch is the fpirit that prevails in these much-injured colonies.

By a fhip just arrived at Garrow Bay, we are informed, that the English ministry have determined to fend out a fleet to block up our ports; but we hope this is merely a report. The cattle near the fea-fide have been removed to Old Bailey Plains, feveral miles up the country.

New St. Giles's, September 27. The hemptrade here will be very much injured by the prohibitory act lately paffed by the British Parliament. The exports to England have indeed been decreafing much of late. There is but one mind and one voice

in this province refpecting the unhappy disturbances occafioned by the tyrannical acts paffed in England, to the injury of our natural rights, our conftitution, and our liberties. The Cut-throat Rangers have been embodied, and the command given to Major-general Ropefend, an officer of acknowledged bravery.

We hear from Woolwich county, that the attempt to introduce epifcopacy there has been refented with a becoming fpirit. The people there are against all