not know how to relish even those compositions that, with all the beauties of nature, have also the additional advantages of art. No. 86.] Friday, June 8, 1711. L. Heu quam difficile est crimen non prodere vultu ! Addison. Thy beard and head are of a diff'rent dye; I have seen a very ingenious author on this subject, who founds his speculations on the supposition, that as a man hath in the mould of his face a remote likeness to that of an ox, a sheep, a lion, a hog, or any other creature; he hath the same resemblance in the frame of THERE are several arts which all men are his mind, and is subject to those passions which in some measure masters of, without having are predominant in the creature that appears been at the pains of learning them. Every in his countenance. Accordingly he gives the one that speaks or reasons is a grammarian prints of several faces that are of a different and a logician, though he may be wholly un-mould, and by a little overcharging the likeacquainted with the rules of grammar or logic, ness, discovers the figures of these several as they are delivered in books and systems. In kinds of brutal faces in human features.* I the same manner, every one is in some degree remember, in the life of the famous Prince of a master of that art which is generally distin- Conde, the writer observes, the face of that guished by the name of physiognomy; and prince was like the face of an eagle, and that naturally forms to himself the character or the prince was very well pleased to be told so. fortune of a stranger, from the features and In this case therefore we may be sure, that he lineaments of his face. We are no sooner had in his mind some general implicit notion of presented to any one we never saw before, this art of physiognomy which I have just now but we are immediately struck with the idea mentioned; and that when his courtiers told of a proud, a reserved, an affable, or a good-him his face was made like an eagle's, he unnatured man; and upon our first going into a derstood them in the same manner as if they company of strangers, our benevolence or aversion, awe or contempt, rises naturally towards several particular persons, before we have heard them speak a single word, or so much as know who they are. had told him, there was something in his looks which showed him to be strong. active, piercing, and of a royal descent. Whether or no the different motions of the animal spirits, in different passions, may have any effect on the Every passion gives a particular cast to mould of the face when the lineaments are plithe countenance, and is apt to discover itself able and tender, or whether the same kind of in some feature or other. I have seen an eye souls require the same kind of habitations, I curse for half an hour together, and an eye-shall leave to the consideration of the curious. brow call a man a scoundrel. Nothing is more In the mean time I think nothing can be more common than for lovers to complain, resent, glorious than for a man to give the lie to his languish, despair, and die in dumb show. For face, and to be an honest, just, good-natured my own part, I am so apt to frame a notion of man, in spite of all those marks and signatures every man's humour or circumstances by his which nature seems to have set upon him for looks, that I have sometimes employed myself the contrary. This very often happens among from Charing-Cross to the Royal-Exchange in those, who instead of being exasperated by drawing the characters of those who have their own looks, or envying the looks of others, passed by me. When I see a man with a sour apply themselves entirely to the cultivating of rivelled face, I cannot forbear pitying his their minds, and getting those beauties which wife and when I meet with an open ingenu-are more lasting, and more ornamental. I ous countenance, think on the happiness of have seen many an amiable piece of deformity; his friends, his family, and relations. and have observed a certain cheerfulness in as I cannot recollect the author of a famous bad a system of features as ever was clapped saying to a person who stood silent in his com- together, which hath appeared more lovely pany, Speak, that I may see thee.' But, than all the blooming charms of an insolent with submission, I think we may be better beauty. There is a double praise due to virknown by our looks than by our words, and tue, when it is lodged in a body that seems that a man's speech is much more easily dis- to have been prepared for the reception of guised than his countenance. In this case, vice; in many such cases the soul and the body however, I think the air of the whole face is do not seem to be fellows. much more expressive than the lines of it. The Socrates was an extraordinary instance of truth of it is, the air is generally nothing else this nature. There chanced to be a great but the inward disposition of the mind made physiognomist in his time at Athens, who had made strange discoveries of men's tempers Those who have established physiognomy and inclinations by their outward appearan into an art, and laid down rules of judging ces. Socrate's disciples, that they might put men's tempers by their faces, have regarded this artist to the trial, carried him to their the features much more than the air. Martial master, whom he had never seen before, and has a pretty epigram on this subject: visible. Crine ruber, niger ore, brevis pede, lumine læsus : This refers to Baptista della Porta's celebrated Treatise De humana Physiognomia: which has run through many editions both in Latin and Italian. He died in 1615. did not know he was then in company with to wish there were no such creatures. They him. After a short examination of his face, expect so great allowances, and give so little the physiognomist pronounced him the most to others, that they who have to do with them lewd, libidinous, drunken old fellow that he find in the main, a man with a better person had ever met with in his whole life. Upon than ordinary, and a beautiful woman, might which the disciples all burst out a laughing, as be very happily changed for such to whom thinking they had detected the falsehood and nature has been less liberal. The handsome vanity of his art. But Socrates told them, that the principles of his art might be very true, notwithstanding his present mistake; for that he himself was naturally inclined to those particular vices which the physiognomist had discovered in his countenance, but that be had conquered the strong dispositions he was born with, by the dictates of philosophy.* fellow jis usually so much a gentleman, and the fine woman has something so becoming, that there is no enduring either of them. It has therefore been generally my choice to mix with cheerful ugly creatures, rather then gentlemen who are graceful enough to omit or do what they please; or beauties who have charms. enough to do and say what would be disoblig We are indeed told by an ancient author,ting in any but themselves. that Socrates very much resembled Silenus in Diffidence and presumption, upon account his face; which we find to have been very of our persons, are equally faults; and both rightly observed from the statues and busts of arise from the want of knowing, or rather enboth, that are still extant; as well as on se-deavouring to know ourselves, and for what we veral antique seals and precious stones, which ought to be valued or neglected. But indeed I are frequently enough to be met with in the did not imagine these little considerations and cabinets of the curious. But however obser- coquetries could have the ill consequences as I vations of this nature may sometimes hold, a find they have by the following letters of my wise man should be particularly cautious how correspondents; where it seems beauty is thrown he gives credit to a man's outward appear-into the account, in matters of sale, to those ance. It is an irreparable injustice we are who receive no favour from the charmers. guilty of towards one another, when we are prejudiced by the looks and features of those MR. SPECTATOR, June 4. whom we do not know. How often do we "After I have assured you I am in every reconceive hatred against a person of worth, or spect one of the handsomest young girls about fancy a man to be proud or ill-natured by his town, I need be particular in nothing but the aspect, whom we think we cannot esteem too make of my face, which has the misfortune to much when we are acquainted with his real be exactly oval. This I take to proceed from character? Dr. Moore, in his admirable Sys- a temper that naturally inclines me both to tem of Ethics, reckons this particular inclina-speak and hear. tion to take a prejudice against a man for his looks, among the smaller vices in morality, and, if, I remember, gives it the name of a prosopolepsia. No. 87.] Saturday, June 9, 1711. 'With this account you may wonder how I can have the vanity to offer myself as a candidate, which I now do, to a society where the Spectator and Hecatissa have been admitted with so much applause. I don't want to be put in mind how very defective I am in every thing that is ugly: I am too sensible of my own unworthiness in this particular, and therefore I only propose myself as a foil to the club. You see how honest I have been to confess all my imperfections, which is a great deal to Ir has been the purpose of several of my come from a woman, and what I hope you will speculations to bring people to an unconcern- encourage with the favour of your interest. ed behaviour, with relation to their persons, 'There can be no objection made on the side whether beautiful or defective. As the secrets of the matchless Hecatissa, since it is certain I of the Ugly Club were exposed to the public, shall be in no danger of giving her the least octhat men might see there were some noble spi-casion of jealousy: and then a joint-stool in the rits in the age, who are not at all displeased very lowest place at the table, is all the honour with themselves upon considerations which that is coveted by they had no choice in; so the discourse concerning Idols tended to lessen the value people put upon themselves from persoual advantages and gifts of nature. As to the latter species of 'P. S. I have sacrificed my necklace to put mankind, the beauties, whether male or fe- into the public lottery against the common enemale, they are generally the most untractable my. And last Saturday, about three o'clock in people of all others. You are so excessively the afternoon, I began to patch indifferently on perplexed with the particularities in their be- both sides of my face.. haviour, that to be at ease, one would be apt Cicer. Tusc. Qu. 5 et De Fato. Plat. Conviv. 'Your most humble and obedient servant, 'MR. SPECTATOR, London, June 7, 1711. Upon reading your late dissertation concerning Idols, I cannot but complain to you A Greek word, used in the New Testament, Rom. ii. that there are, in six or seven places of this city, 11, and Eph. vi. 9; where it is said that God is no re-coffee-houses kept by persons of that sisterspecter of persons.' Here it signifies a prejudice against a person formed from his countenance, &c. too hastily. hood. These idols sit and receive all day long the adoration of the youth within such and relate to the inferior part of the world, any such districts. I know in particular, goods are more than those which concern the greater. not entered as they ought to be at the custom- There is one thing in particular which I wonhouse, nor law-reports perused at the Temple, der you have not touched upon, and that is the by reason of one beauty who detains the young general corruption of manners in the Servants merchants too long near 'Change, and another of Great Britain. I am a man that have travelfair one who keeps the students at her house led and seen many nations, but have for seven when they should be at study. It would be years last past resided constantly in London, or worth your while to see how the idolaters alter-within twenty miles of it. In this time I have the nately offer incense to their idols, and what contracted a numerous acquaintance among heart-burnings arise in those who wait for their best sort of people, and have hardly found one turn to receive kind aspects from those little of them happy in their servants. This is mat, thrones, which all the company, but these lov-ter of great astonishment to foreigners, and all ers, call the bars. I saw a gentleman turn as such, as have visited foreign countries; espepale as ashes, because an idol turned the sugar cially since we cannot but observe, that there is in a tea-dish for his rival, and carelessly called no part of the world where servants have those the boy to serve him, with a "Sirrah? why privileges and advantages as in England. They don't you give the gentleman the box to please have no where else such plentiful diet, large himself?" Certain it is, that a very hopeful wages, or indulgent liberty. There is no place young man was taken with leads in his pockets wherein they labour less, and yet where they below bridge, where he intended to drown him- are so little respectful, more wasteful, more self, because his idol would wash the dish in negligent, or where they so frequently change which she had but just drank tea, before she their masters. To this I attribute, in a great would let him use it. measure, the frequent robberies and losses I am, sir, a person past being amorous, and which we suffer on the high road and in our do not give this information out of envy or jeal- own houses. That indeed which gives me the ousy, but I am a real sufferer by it. These present thought of this kind is, that a careless lovers take any thing for tea and coffee; I saw groom of mine has spoiled me the prettiest pad one yesterday surfeit to make his court, and in the world with only riding him ten miles; all his rivals, at the same time, loud in the and I assure you, if I were to make a register commendation of liquors that went against eve-of all the horses I have known thus abused ry body in the room that was not in love. While by negligence of servants, the number would these young fellows resign their stomachs with mount a regiment. I wish you would give us their hearts, and drink at the idol in this man-your observations, that we may know how to ner, we who come to do business, or talk poli-treat these rogues, or that we masters may tics, are utterly poisoned. They have also enter into measures to reform them. Pray drams for those who are more enamoured than give us a speculation in general about servants, ordinary; and it is very common for such as and you make me 'Yours, are too low in constitution to ogle the idol upon the strength of tea, to fluster themselves with warmer liquors: thus all pretenders advance, as fast as they can, to a fever, or a diabetes. I must repeat to you, that I do not look with an evil eye upon the profit of the idols, or the diversions of the lovers; what I hope from this remonstrance, is only that we plain people may not be served as if we were idolaters; but that from the time of publishing this in your paper the idols would mix ratsbane only for their admirers, and take more care of us who don't love them. R. 'I am, sir, yours, T. T.' No. 88.] Monday, June 11, 1711. PHILO-BRITANNICUS. 'P. S. Pray do not omit the mention of grooms in particular.' has This honest gentleman, who is so desirous that I should write a satire upon grooms, a great deal of reason for his resentment; and I know no evil which touches all mankind so much as this of the misbehaviour of servants. The complaint of this letter runs wholly upon men-servants; and I can attribute the licentiousness which has at present prevailed among them, to nothing but what an hundred before me have ascribed it to, the custom of giving board-wages. This one instance of false economy is sufficient to debauch the whole nation of servants, and makes them as it were but for some part of their time in that quality. They are either attending in places where they meet and run into clubs, or else if they wait at taverns, they eat after their masters, and • MR. SPECTATOR, May 30, 1711. reserve their wages for other occasions. From 'I HAVE no small value for your endeavours hence it arises, that they are but in a lower to lay before the world what may escape their degree what their masters themselves are; observation, and yet highly conduces to their and usually affect an imitation of their manservice. You have, I think, succeeded very ners: and you have in liveries, beaux, fops, well on many subjects; and seem to have been and coxcombs, in as high perfection as among conversant in very different scenes of life. But people that keep equipages. It is a common in the considerations of mankind, as a Specta-humour among the retinue of people of quator, you should not omit circumstances which lity, when they are in their revels; that is when they are out of their master's sight, toversation on the common topics, that he had, assume in a humourous way the names and as they call it, a great deal of good business titles of those whose liveries they wear. By on his hands. It happened one day, that comwhich means characters and distinctions be-ing down a tavern stairs in his master's fine come so familiar to them, that it is to this, guard-coat with a well-dressed woman masked, among other causes, one may impute a cer- he met the colonel coming up with other comtain insolence among our servants, that they pany; but with a ready assurance he quitted take no notice of any gentleman, though they his lady, came up to him and said, Sir, I know him ever so well, except he is an ac-know you have too much respect for yourself quaintance of their master's. to cane me in this honourable habit. But you My obscurity and taciturnity leave me at see there is a lady in the case, and I hope on liberty, without scandal, to dine, if I think that score also you will put off your anger till fit, at a common ordinary, in the meanest as I have told you all another time.' After a little well as the most sumptuous house of enter-pause the colonel cleared up his countenance, tainment.-Falling in the other day at a vict-and with an air of familiarity whispered his ualing-house near the house of peers, I heard man apart, Sirrah, bring the lady with you the maid come down and tell the landlady at to ask pardon for you;' then aloud. Look to the bar, that my lord bishop swore he would it, Will, I'll never forgive you else.' The felthrow her out at window, if she did not bring low went back to his mistress, and telling her, up more mild beer, and that my lord duke with a loud voice and an oath, that was the would have a double mug of pearl. My sur- honestest fellow in the world, conveyed her to prise was increased, in hearing loud and rustic an hackney-coach. voices speak and answer to each other upon But the many irregularities committed by the public affairs, by the names of the most servants in the places above-mentioned, as well illustrious of our nobility; till of a sudden one as in the theatres, of which masters are genecame running in, and cried the house was ris-rally the occasions, are too various not to need ing. Down came all the company together being resumed on another occasion. and away! The alehouse was immediately R. filled with clamour, and scoring one mug to No. 89.] Tuesday, Jnne 12, 1711. -Petite hinc, juvenesque senesque, Pers. From thee both old and young, with profit learn Corn. Unhappy he, who does this work adjourn. Pers. But is one day of ease too much to borrow? The next place of resort, wherein the servile world are let loose, is at the entrance of Hyde Park, while the gentry are at the ring. Hither people bring their lackeys out of state, and here it is that all they say at their tables, and act in their houses, is communicated to the whole town. There are men of wit in all conditions of life; and mixing with these people at their diversions, I have heard coquettes and As my correspondents upon the subjects of prudes as well rallied, and insolence and pride love are very numerous, it is my design, if exposed (allowing for their want of education) possible, to range them under several heads, with as much humour and good sense, as in and address myself to them at different times. the politest companies. It is a general obser- The first branch of them, to whose service I vation, that all dependents run in some mea-shall dedicate this paper, are those that have sure into the manners and behaviour of those to do with women of dilatory tempers, who whom they serve. You shall frequently meet are for spinning out the time of courtship to an with lovers and men of intrigue among the immoderate length, without being able either lackeys as well as at White's or in the side-to close with their lovers, or to dismiss them. boxes. I remember some years ago an instance I have many letters by me filled with comof this kind. A footman to a captain of the plaints against this sort of women. In one of guards used frequently, when his master was them no less a man than a brother of the coif out of the way, to carry on amours and make tells me, that he began his suit vicesimo nono assignations in his master's clothes. The fellow Caroli secundi, before he had been a twelvehad a very good person, and there are very month at the Temple; that he prosecuted it for many women that think no further than the many years after he was called to the bar; outside of a gentleman: besides which, he was that at present he is a sergeant at law; and almost as learned a man as the colonel him- notwithstanding he hoped that matters would self: I say, thus qualified, the fellow could have been long since brought to an issue, the scrawl billet-doux so well, and furnish a con- fair one still demurs.-1 am so well pleased with this gentleman's phrase, that shall dis- The finest skin wrinkles in a few years, and tinguish this sect of women by the title of loses the strength of its colourings so soon, Demurrers. I find by another letter from one that we have scarce time to admire it. I that calls himself Thyrsis, that his mistress has might embellish this subject with roses and been demurring above these seven years. But rainbows, and several other ingenious conamong all my plaintiffs of this nature, I most ceits, which I may possibly reserve for another pity the unfortunate Philander, a man of a opportunity. constant passion and plentiful fortune, who sets There is a third consideration which I would forth that the timorous and irresolute Sylvia likewise recommend to a demurrer, and that has demurred till she is past child-bearing. is the great danger of her falling in love. Strephon appears by his letter to be a very when she is about threescore, if she cannot choleric lover, and irrecoverably smitten with satisfy her doubts and scruples before that one that demurs out of self-interest. He tells time. There is a kind of latter spring, that me with great passion that she has bubbled sometimes gets into the blood of an old woman, him out of his youth; that she drilled him on to five and fifty, and that he verily believes she will drop him in his old age, if she can find her account in another. I shall conclude this narrative with a letter from honest Sam Hopewell, a very pleasant fellow, who it seems has at last married a demurrer. I must only premise, that I would not however be understood, by any Sam, who is a very good bottle-companion, thing I have here said, to discourage that nahas been the diversion of his friends, upon ac-tural modesty in the sex, which renders a recount of his passion, ever since the year one thousand six hundred and eighty-one. DEAR SIR, 'You know very well my passion for Mrs. Martha, and what a dance she has led me. She took me out at the age of two and twenty, and dodged with me above thirty years. I have loved her till she is grown as grey as a cat, and am with much ado become the master of her person, such as it is at present. She is however in my eye a very charming old woWe often lament that we did not marry sooner, but she has no body to blame for it but herself. You know very well that she would never think of me whilst she had a tooth in her head. I have put the date of my passion, anno amoris trigesimo primo, instead of a posy on my wedding ring. I expect you should send me a congratulatory letter, or, if you please, an epithalamium upon this occasion. man. 'Mrs. Martha's and yours eternally, In order to banish an evil out of the world, that does not only produce great uneasiness to private persons, but has also a very bad influence on the public, I shall endeavour to show the folly of demurrage, from two or three reflections which I earnestly recommend to the thoughts of my fair readers. First of all, I would have them seriously think on the shortness of their time. Life is not long enough for a coquette to play all her tricks in. A timorous woman drops into her grave before she has done deliberating. Were the age of man the same that it was before the flood, a lady might sacrifice half a century to a scruple, and be two or three ages in de-1 murring. Had she nine hundred years good, she might hold out to the conversion of the Jews before she thought fit to be prevailed upon. But, alas! she ought to play her part in haste, when she considers that she is suddenly to quit the stage, and make room for others. In the second place, I would desire my female readers to consider, that as the term of life is short, that of beauty is much shorter. and turns her into a very odd sort of an animal. I would therefore have the demurrer consider what a strange figure she will make, if she chances to get over all difficulties, and comes to a final resolution, in that unseasonable part of her life. treat from the first approaches of a lover both The rib he form'd and fashion'd with his hands: She disappear'd, and left me dark: I wak'd "This turn hath made amends: thou hast fulfill'd She heard me thus, and though divinely brought, Paradise Lost, viii. 469-511. |