For this reason Sir Roger was saying last this false beauty will not pass upon men of honight, that he was of opinion none but men of nest minds and true taste. Sir Richard Blackfine parts deserve to be hanged. The reflec- more says, with as much good sense as virtue, tions of such men are so delicate upon all oc- 'It is a mighty shame and dishonour to employ currences which they are concerned in, that excellent faculties and abundance of wit, to they should be exposed to more than ordinary humour and please men in their vices and folinfamy and punishment, for offending against lies. The great enemy of mankind, notwithsuch quick admonitions as their own souls standing his wit and angelic faculties, is the give them, and blunting the fine edge of their most odious being in the whole creation.' He minds in such a manner, that they are no more goes on soon after to say, very generously, shocked at vice and folly than men of slower that he undertook the writing of his poem to capacities. There is no greater monster in rescue the Muses out of the hands of ravishers, being, than a very ill man of great parts. He to restore them to their sweet and chaste manlives like a man in a palsy, with one side of sions, and to engage them in an employment him dead. While perhaps he enjoys the satis-suitable to their dignity.' This certainly ought faction of luxury, of wealth, of ambition, he to be the purpose of every man who appears bas lost the taste of good-will, of friendship, in public, and whoever does not proceed upon of innocence. Scarecrow, the beggar in Lin- that foundation, injures his country as fast as coln's-inn-fields, who disabled himself in his he succeeds in his studies. When modesty right leg, and asks alms all day to get himself ceases to be the chief ornament of one sex, a warm supper and a trull at night, is not half and integrity of the other, society is upon a so despicable a wretch, as such a man of sense. wrong basis, and we shall be ever after withThe beggar has no relish above sensations; out rules to guide our judgment in what is he finds rest more agreeable than motion; and really becoming and oranamental. Nature while he has a warm fire and his doxy, never and reason direct one thing, passion and hureflects that he deserves to be whipped. Every mour another. To follow the dictates of these man who terminates his satisfactions and en-two latter, is going into a road that is both joyments within the supply of his own necessi- endless and intricate; when we pursue the ties and passions, is, says Sir Roger, in my other, our passage is delightful, and what we eye, as poor a rogue as Scarecrow. But, aim at easily attainable. continued he, for the loss of public and pri- I do not doubt but England is at present vate virtue, we are beholden to your men of fine as polite a nation as any in the world; but any parts forsooth; it is with them no matter what man who thinks, can easily see, that the affecis done, so it be done with an air. But to me, tation of being gay and in fashion, has very who am so whimsical in a corrupt age as to act near eaten up our good sense, and our religion. according to nature and reason, a selfish man, Is there any thing so just as that mode and in the most shining circumstance and equipage, gallantry should be built upon exerting ourappears in the same condition with the fellow selves in what is proper and agreeable to the above mentioned, but more contemptible in institutions of justice and piety among us? proportion to what more he robs the public of, And yet is there any thing more common, than and enjoys above him. I lay it down therefore that we run in perfect contradiction to them? for a rule, that the whole man is to move to- All which is supported by no other pretention, gether; that every action, of any importance, than that it is done with what we call a good is to have a prospect of public good: and that grace. the general tendency of our indifferent actions Nothing ought to be held laudable or becomought to be agreeable to the dictates of reason, ing, but what nature itself should prompt us of religion, of good-breeding; without this, a to think so. Respect to all kind of superiors man, as I have before hinted, is hopping in- is founded, I think, upon instinct; and yet stead of walking, he is not in his entire and pro- what is so ridiculous as age! I make this ab. per motion.' rupt transition to the mention of this vice, While the honest knight was thus bewilder-more than any other, in order to introduce a ing himself in good starts, I looked attentively little story, which I think a pretty instance upon him, which made him, I thought, collect that the most polite age is in danger of being his mind a little. What I aim at,' says he, the most vicious.

'is to represent that, I am of opinion, to po- 'It happened at Athens, during a public relish our understandings, and neglect our man-presentation of some play exhibited in honour ners, is of all things the most inexcusable. of the commonwealth, that an old gentleman Reason should govern passion, but instead of came too late for a place suitable to his age that, you see, it is often subservient to it; and as and quality. Many of the young gentlemen, unaccountable as one would think it, a wise who observed the difficulty and confusion he man is not always a good man.' This degene- was in, made signs to him that they would acracy is not only the guilt of particular persons, commodate him if he came where they sat. but also, at some times, of a whole people; The good man bustled through the crowd acand perhaps it may appear upon examination, cordingly; but when he came to the seats to that the most polite ages are the least virtuous. which he was invited, the jest was to sit close This may be attributed to the folly of admit- and expose him, as he stood, out of counteting wit and learning as merit in themselves, nance, to the whole audience. The frolic went without considering the application of them. round the Athenian benches. But on those ocBy this means it becomes a rule, not so much casions there were also particular places asto regard what we do, as how we do it. But signed for foreigners. When the good man VOL. 1.

skulked towards the boxes appointed for the my usual taciturnity; when, to my utter eonLacedæmonians, that honest people, more vir- fusion, the lady seeing the quitting my knife tuous than polite, rose up all to a man, and and fork, and laying them across one another with the greatest respect received him among upon my plate, desired me that I would humthem. The Athenians being suddenly touched our her so far as to take them out of that figure, with a sense of the Spartan virtue and their and place them side by side. What the absurown degeneracy, gave a thunder of applause ;dity was which I had committed I did not know, and the old man cried out, "The Athenians but I suppose there was some traditionary suunderstand what is good, but the Lacedæmo- perstition in it; and therefore, inobedience to nians practise it."' the lady of the house, I disposed of my knife and fork in two parallel lines, which is the figure I shall always lay them in for the future, though I do not know any reason for it.

No. 7.] Thursday, March 8, 1710-11.

R.

Somnia, terrores magicos, miracula, sagas,
Nocturnos lemures, portentaque Thessala rides?

Visions, and magic spells, can you despise,
And laugh at witches, ghosts, and prodigies?

It is not difficult for a man to see that a person has conceived an aversion to him. For my own part, I quickly found, by the lady's looks, Hor. Lib. 2. Ep. ii. 208. that she regarded me as a very odd kind of a fellow, with an unfortunate aspect. For which reason I took my leave immediately after dinner, and withdrew to my old lodgings. Upon GOING yesterday to dine with an old ac- my return home, I fell into a profound contemquaintance, I had the misfortune to find his plation on the evils that attend these superstiwhole family very much dejected. Upon ask-tious follies of mankind; how they subject us ing him the occasion of it, he told me that his to imaginary afflictions, and additional sorwife had dreamt a strange dream the night be- rows, that they do not properly come within fore, which they were afraid portended some our lot. As if the natural calamities of life misfortune to themselves or to their children. were not sufficient for it, we turn the most inAt her coming into the room, I observed a set-different circumstances into misfortunes, and tled melancholy in her countenance, which I suffer as much from trifling accidents, as from should have been troubled for, had I not heard real evils. I have known the shooting of a star from whence it proceeded. We were no sooner spoil a night's rest; and have seen a man in sat down, but after having looked upon me a love grow pale, and lose his appetite, upon the little while, 'My dear,' says she, turning to plucking of a merry thought. A screech-owl her husband, you may now see the stranger at midnight has alarmed a family more than a that was in the candle last night.' Soon after band of robbers; nay, the voice of a cricket this, as they began to talk of family affairs, a hath struck more terror than the roaring of a little boy at the lower end of the table told her, lion. There is nothing so inconsiderable, that he was to go into join-hand on Thursday.which may not appear dreadful to an imaginaThursday!' says she, 'No, child, if it please tion that is filled with omens and prognostics. God, you shall not begin upon Childermas- A rusty nail, or a crooked pin, shoot up into day; tell your writing-master that Friday will prodigies. be soon enough.' I was reflecting with myself I remember I was once in a mixt assembly, on the oddness of her fancy, and wondering that was full of noise and mirth, when on a that any body would establish it as a rule, to sudden an old woman unluckily observed there lose a day in every week. In the midst of were thirteen of us in company. The remark these my musings, she desired me to reach struck a panic terror into several who were preher a little salt upon the point of my knife, sent, insomuch that one or two of the ladies which I did in such a trepidation and hurry of were going to leave the room; but a friend of obedience, that I let it drop by the way; at mine taking notice that one of our female comwhich she immediately startled, and said it fell panions was big with child, affirmed there were towards her. Upon this I looked very blank; fourteen in the room, and that, instead of porand, observing the concern of the whole table, tending one of the company should die, it began to consider myself, with some confusion, plainly foretold one of them should be born. as a person that had brought a disaster upon Had not my friend found this expedient to the family. The lady, however, recovering break the omen, 1 question not but half the herself after a little space, said to her hus-women in the company would have fallen sick band, with a sigh, 'My dear, misfortunes ne- that very night.

ver come single.' My friend, I found, acted An old maid, that is troubled with the vabut an under part at his table, and being a pours, produces infinite disturbances of this man of more good nature than understanding, kind among her friends and neighbours. I thinks himself obliged to fall in with all the know a maiden aunt, of a great family, who passions and humours of his yoke-fellow. Do is one of these antiquated Sybils, that forenot you remember, child, says she, that the bodes and prophesies from one end of the year pigeon-house fell the very afternoon that our to the other. She is always seeing apparitions, careless wench spilt the salt upon the table?' and hearing death-watches; and was the other Yes,' says he, my dear, and the next post day almost frighted out of her wits by the brought us an account of the battle of Alman- great house-dog, that howled in the stable at a za.' The reader may guess at the figure I time when she lay ill of the tooth-ach. Such made, after having done all this mischief. I an extravagant cast of mind engages multidespatched my dinner as soon as I could, with tudes of people, not only in impertinent ter

rors, but in supernumerary duties of life; and done in my own family. In a word, sir, I have
arises from that fear and ignorance which are my correspondents in the remotest parts of the
natural to the soul of man. The horror with nation, who send me up punctual accounts,
which we entertain the thoughts of death, (or from time to time, of all the little irregularities
indeed of any future evil) and the uncertainty that fall under their notice in their several dis-
of its approach, fill a melancholy mind with tricts and divisions.

innumerable apprehensions and suspicions, 'I am no less acquainted with the particular
and consequently dispose it to the observation quarters and regions of this great town, than
of such groundless prodigies and predictions. with the different parts and distributions of
For as it is the chief concern of wise men to
retrench the evils of life by the reasonings of
philosophy; it is the employment of fools to
multiply them by the sentiments of supersti-
tion.

the whole nation. I can describe every parish
by its impieties, and can tell you in which of
our streets lewdness prevails, which gaming
has taken possession of, and where drunken-
ness has got the better of them both. When 1
am disposed to raise a fine for the poor, I know
mon swearers. When I would encourage the
hospital of Bridewell, and improve the hempen
manufacture, I am very well acquainted with
all the haunts and resorts of female night-
walkers.

For my own part, I should be very much troubled were I endowed with this divining the lanes and alleys that are inhabited by comquality, though it should inform me truly of every thing that can befal me. I would not anticipate the relish of any happiness, nor feel the weight of any misery, before it actually arrives.

I know but one way of fortifying my soul After this short account of myself, I must against these gloomy presages and terrors of let you know, that the design of this paper is mind, and that is, by securing to myself the to give you information of a certain irregular friendship and protection of that Being who assembly, which I think falls very properly disposes of events, and governs futurity. He under your observation, especially since the sees, at one view, the whole thread of my ex-persons it is composed of are criminals too conistence, not only that part of it which I have siderable for the animadversions of our society. already passed through, but that which runs I mean, sir, the Midnight Mask, which has of forward into all the depths of eternity. When late been frequently held in one of the most I lay me down to sleep, I recommend myself conspicuous parts of the town, and which I to his care; when I awake, I give myself up to hear will be continued with additions and imhis direction. Amidst all the evils that threaten provements. As all the persons who compose me, I will look up to him for help, and ques- this lawless assembly are masked, we dare tion not but he will either avert them, or turn them to my advantage. Though I know neither the time nor the manner of the death I am to die, I am not at all solicitous about it; because I am sure that he knows them both, and that he will not fail to comfort and support me under them.

No. 8.] Friday, March 9, 1710-11.

C.

not attack any of them in our way, lest we
should send a woman of quality to Bridewell,
or a peer of Great Britain to the Counter: be-
sides that, their numbers are so very great,
that I am afraid they would be able to rout our
whole fraternity, though we were accompanied
with our guard of constables. Both these rea-
sons, which secure them from our authority,
make them obnoxious to yours; as both their
disguise and their numbers will give no parti-
cular person reason to think himself affronted
by you.

If we are rightly informed, the rules that
are observed by this new society, are wonder-
fully contrived for the advancement of cuckol-
dom. The women either come by themselves,
or are introduced by friends, who are obliged
to quit them, upon their first entrance, to the
conversation of any body that addresses him-
self to them. There are several rooms where
the parties may retire, and, if they please,
show their faces by consent. Whispers.
squeezes, nods, and embraces, are the inno-
cent freedoms of the place. In short, the
whole design of this libidinous assembly seems

6

'I am one of the directors of the society to terminate in assignations and intrigues; and I for the reformation of manners, and therefore hope you will take effectual methods, by your think myself a proper person for your corres-public advice and admonitions, to prevent such pondence. I have thoroughly examined the a promiscuous multitude of both sexes from present state of religion in Great Britain, and meeting together in so clandestine a manner. am able to acquaint you with the predominant I am, vice of every market town in the whole island. 'Your humble servant, and fellow-labourer, I can tell you the progress that virtue has made 'T. B.' in all our cities, boroughs, and corporations;] and know as well the evil practices that are Not long after the perusal of this letter, I committed in Berwick or Exeter, as what is received another upon the same subject; which,

by the date and style of it, I take to be written take all occasions and pretences of forming by some young templar:

'SIR,

ourselves into those little nocturnal assemblies, which are commonly known by the name of Middle Temple, 1710-11. clubs. When a set of men find themselves When a man has been guilty of any vice agree in any particular, though never so trivial, or folly, I think the best atonement he can they establish themselves into a kind of framake for it, is to warn others not to fall into ternity, and meet once or twice a week, upon the like. In order to this I must acquaint you, the account of such a fantastic resemblance. that some time in February last I went to the I know a considerable market-town, in which Tuesday's masquerade. Upon my first going there was a club of fat men, that did not come in I was attacked by half a dozen female qua- together (as you may well suppose) to enterkers, who seemed willing to adopt me for a tain one another with sprightliness and wit, brother; but upon a nearer examination I but to keep one another in countenance. The found they were a sisterhood of coquettes, dis-room where the club met was something of the guised in that precise habit. I was soon after largest, and had two entrances, the one by a taken out to dance, and, as I fancied, by a door of a moderate size, and the other by a woman of the first quality, for she was very pair of folding doors. If a candidate for this tall, and moved gracefully. As soon as the corpulent club could make his entrance through minuet was over, we ogled one another through the first, he was looked upon as unqualified; our masks; and as I am very well read in Wal-but if he stuck in the passage, and could not ler, I repeated to her the four following verses out of his poem to Vandyke:

"The heedless lover does not know
Whose eyes they are that wound him so;
But, confounded with thy art,
Inquires her name that has his heart."

force his way through it, the folding-doors
were immediately thrown open for his recep-
tion, and he was saluted as a brother. I have
heard that this club, though it consisted but of
fifteen persons, weighed above three tons.
In opposition to this society, there sprung

I pronounced these words with such a lan-up another composed of scarecrows and skele guishing air, that I had some reason to con- tons, who, being very meagre and envious, clude I had made a conquest. She told me that did all they could to thwart the designs of their she hoped my face was not akin to my tongue, bulky brethren, whom they represented as and looking upon her watch, I accidentally men of dangerous principles; till at length discovered the figure of a coronet on the back they worked them out of the favour of the peopart of it. I was transported with the thought ple, and consequently out of the magistracy. of such an amour, that I plied her from one These factions tore the corporation in pieces room to another with all the gallantries I could for several years, till at length they came to invent; and at length brought things to so this accommodation : that the two bailiffs of the happy an issue, that she gave me a private town should be annually chosen out of the two meeting the next day, without page or foot-clubs; by which means the principal magisman, coach or equipage. My heart danced in trates are at this day coupled like rabbits, one raptures; but I had not lived in this golden fat and one lean. dream above three days, before I found good reason to wish that I had continued true to my laundress. I have since heard, by a very great accident, that this fine lady does not live far from Covent-garden, and that I am not the first cully whom she has passed herself upon for a countess.

Thus, sir, you see how I have mistaken a cloud for a Juno; and if you can make any use of this adventure, for the benefit of those who may possibly be as vain young coxcombs as myself, I do most heartily give you leave. 'I am, Sir, Your most humble admirer,

Every one has heard of the club. or rather the confederacy of the Kings. This grand alliance was formed a little after the return of King Charles the Second, and admitted into it men of all qualities and professions, provided they agreed in the surname of King, which, as they imagined, sufficiently declared the owners of it to be altogether untainted with republican and anti-monarchical principles.

A christian name has likewise been often used as a badge of distinction, and made the occasion of a club. That of the George's, which used to meet at the sign of the George, on St. George's day, and swear 'Before George,' is still fresh in every one's memory. There are at present, in several parts of this I design to visit the next masquerade my-city, what they call street-clubs, in which the self, in the same habit I wore at Grand Cairo; chief inhabitants of the street converse together and till then shall suspend my judgment of every night. I remember, upon my inquiring this midnight entertainment.

'B. L.'

No. 9.] Saturday, March 10, 1710-11,

C.

Tigris agit rabida cum tigride pacem
Perpetuam: sævis inter se convenit ursis.
Juv. Sat. xv. 163.

Tiger with tiger, bear with bear, you'll find
In leagues offensive and defensive join'd. Tate.

MAN is said to be a sociable animal, and, as an instance of it, we may observe, that we

after lodgings in Ormond-street, the landlord,
to recommend that quarter of the town, told
me, there was at that time a very good club
in it; he also told me, upon further discourse
with him, that two or three noisy country
'squires, who were settled there the year be-
fore, had considerably sunk the price of house-
rent; and that the club (to prevent the like in-
conveniencies for the future) had thoughts of
taking every house that became vacant into
their own hands, till they had found a tenant

for it, of a sociable nature and good conver-time. These laws were enacted by a knot of sation. artisans and mechanics, who used to meet The Hum-Drum club, of which I was for-every night; and as there is something in merly an unworthy member, was made up of them which gives us a pretty picture of low very honest gentlemen, of peaceable disposi- life, I shall transcribe them word for word. tions, that used to sit together, smoke their pipes, and say nothing till midnight. The Mum club (as I am informed) is an institution of the same nature, and as great an enemy to noise.

After these two innocent societies, I cannot forbear mentioning a very mischievous one, that was erected in the reign of King Charles the Second: I mean the club of duellists, in which none was to be admitted that had not fought his man. The president of it was said to have killed half a dozen in single combat ; and as for the other members, they took their seats according to the number of their slain. There was likewise a side-table, for such as had only drawn blood, and shown a laudable ambition of taking the first opportunity to qualify themselves for the first table. his club, consisting only of men of honour, did not continue long, most of the members of it being put to the sword, or hanged, a little after its institution.

Our modern celebrated clubs are founded upon eating and drinking, which are points wherein most men agree, and in which the learned and the illiterate, the dull and the airy, the philosopher and the buffoon, can all of them bear a part. The Kit-cat* itself is said to have taken its original from a muttonpie. The Beef-steak and October clubs are neither of them averse to eating and drinking, if we may form a judgment of them from their respective titles.

When men are thus knit together, by a love of society, not a spirit of faction, and do not meet to censure or annoy those that are absent, but to enjoy one another; when they are thus combined for their own improvement, or for the good of others, or at least to relax themselves from the business of the day, by an innocent and cheerful conversation, there may be something very useful in these little institutions and establishments.

I cannot forbear concluding this paper with a scheme of laws that I met with upon a wall in a little alehouse. How I came thither I may inform my reader at a more convenient

This club, which took its name from Christopher Cat, the maker of their mutton-pies, was originally formed in Shire lane, about the time of the trial of the seven bishops, for a little free evening conversation, but in Queen Anne's reign comprehended above forty noblemen and gentlemen of the first rank, all firm friends to the Hanoverian succession. The verses for their toasting glasses were written by Garth, and the Portraits of all its members painted by Kneller, who was himself one of their number; hence all portraits of the same dimensions are at this time known by the name of Kit Cat. Jacob Tonson, the bookseller, was their secretary, and built a gallery at his house at Barn Elins, for the reception of the pictures, and where the club occasionally held its meetings. From Tonson, this valuable collection has come by inheritance to Samuel Baker, Esq. of Hertingfordbury, near Hertford.

Of this club, it is said, that Mrs. Woflington, the only woman belonging to it, was president; Richard Estcourt, the comedian, was their provedore, and as an honourable badge of his office, wore a small gridiron of gold hung

round his neck with a green silk riband.

Rules to be observed in the Two-penny club, erected in this place, for the preservation of friendship and good neighbourhood.

I. Every member at his first coming in shall lay down his two pence.

II. Every member shall fill his pipe out of his own box.

III. If any member absents himself he shall forfeit a penny for the use of the club, unless in case of sickness or imprisonment.

IV. If any member swears or curses, his neighbour may give him a kick upon the shins.

V. If any member tells stories in the club that are not true, he shall forfeit for every third lie an half penny.

VI. If any member strikes another wrongfully he shall pay his club for him.

VII. If any member brings his wife into the club, he shall pay for whatever she drinks or smokes.

VIII. If any member's wife comes to fetch him home from the club, she shall speak to him without the door.

IX. If any member calls another a cuckold, he shall be turned out of the club.

X. None shall be admitted into the club that is of the same trade with any member of it.

XI. None of the club shall have his clothes or shoes made or mended, but by a brother member.

XII. No non-juror shall be capable of being a member.

The morality of this little club is guarded by such wholesome laws and penalties, that I question not but my reader will be as well pleased with them as he would have been with the Leges Convivales of Ben Johnson, the regulations of an old Roman club, cited by Lipsius, or the rules of a Symposium in an ancient Greek author.

C.

No. 10.] Monday, March 12, 1710-11.
Non aliter quam qui adverso vix flumine lembum
Remigiis subigit: si brachia forte remisit,
Atque illum in præceps prono rapit alvens amni.
Virg. Georg. i. v. 201.

So the boat's brawny crew the current stem,
And, slow advancing, struggle with the stream:
But if they slack their hands, or cease to strive,
Then down the flood with headlong haste they drive.
Dryden.

It is with much satisfaction that I hear this great city inquiring day by day after these my papers, and receiving my morning lectures with a becoming seriousness and attention My publisher tells me, that there are already three thousand of them distributed every day: so that if I allow twenty readers to every paper, which I look upon as a modest computation, I may reckon about threescore thousand disciples in London and Westminster, who I hope