value most for his own sake? and by that judge which gives the greater instances of his valuing you for yourself only. Quid, quòd materiam præbet causasque jocorum Add that the rich have still a gibe in store, After you have expressed some sense of the humble approach of Florio, and a little disdain at Strephon's assurance in his address, you cry out, "What an unexceptionable husband could I make out of both!" It would therefore, methinks, be a good way to determine yourself. Take him in whom what you like is not transferable to another; for if you choose otherwise, there is no hopes your husband will ever have what you liked in his rival; It is on this occasion that he afterwards adds but intrinsic qualities in one man may very the reflection which I have chosen for my motprobably purchase every thing that is adventitious in another. In plainer terms: he whom you take for his personal perfections will sooner arrive at the gifts of fortune, than he whom you take for the sake of his fortune attain to It must be confessed that few things make personal perfections. If Strephon is not as accomplished and agreeable as Florio, marri-a man appear more despicable, or more prejuage to you will never make him so: but mar- dice his hearers against what he is going to of riage to you may make Florio as rich as Stre-fer, than an awkward or pitiful dress; insophon. Therefore to make a sure purchase, much that I fancy, had Tully himself pronouncemploy fortune upon certainties, but do not sacrifice certainties to fortune. 'I am, your most obedient, humble servant.' T. No. 150.] Wednesday, August 22, 1711. Nil habet infelix paupertas durius in se, Juv. Sat. iii. 152. Want is the scorn of every wealthy fool. to. Want is the scorn of ev'ry wealthy fool. ed one of his orations with a blanket about his shoulders, more people would have laughed at his dress than have admired his eloquence. This last reflection made me wonder at a set of men, who without being subjected to it by the unkindness of their fortunes, are contented to draw upon themselves the ridicule of the world in this particular. I mean such as take it into their heads, that the first regular step to be a wit is to commence a sloven. It is certain nothing has so much debased that, which must have been otherwise so great a character; and I know not how to account for it, unless it may possibly be in complaisance to those As I was walking in my chamber the morning before I went last into the country, I heard narrow minds who can have no notion of the the hawkers with great vehemence crying ments; or that it is a sort of sacrifice which same persons possessing different accomplishabout a paper, entitled, The Ninety-nine Plagues of an Empty Purse. I had indeed some men are contented to make to calumny, some time before observed, that the orators of by allowing it to fasten on one part of their Grub-street had dealt very much in plagues. establish another. character, while they are endeavouring to They have already published in the same month, The Plagues of Matrimony, The Plagues of a Single Life, The Nineteen Plagues of a Chambermaid, The Plagues of a Coachman, The Plagues of a Footman, and The Plague of Plagues. The success these several plagues met with, probably gave ocI have seen the speech of a Terra-filius, casion to the above-mentioned poem on an in which he describes two very eminent men, spoken in King Charles the Second's reign; empty purse. However that be, the same who were perhaps the greatest scholars of noise so frequently repeated under my win their age; and after having mentioned the endow, drew me insensibly to think on some of tire friendship between them, concludes, that they had but one mind, one purse, one chamusually attend on poverty, and, in short, gave ber, and one hat.' The men of business were birth to the present speculation: for after my also infected with a sort of singularity little fancy had run over the most obvious and com- better than this. I have heard my father say, mon calamities which men of mean fortunes that a broad-brimmed hat, short hair, and unare liable to, it descended to those little insults folded handkerchief, were in his time absoluteand contempts, which though they may seem ly necessary to denote a 'notable man;' and to dwindle into nothing when a man offers to that he had known two or three, who aspired describe them, are perhaps in themselves more cutting and insupportable than the for- strings with great success. to the character of 'very notable' wear shoeJuvenal with a great deal of humour and reason tells us, that nothing bore harder upon a poor man in his time than the continual ridicule which his habit and dress afforded to the beaux of Rome: those inconveniencies and mortifications which mer. Yet however unaccountable this foolish cusscription; and probably gave too much occatom is, I am afraid it could plead a long presion for the vulgar definition still remaining among us of an heathen philosopher. be allowed, that some of our greatest geniuses To the honour of our present age it must for wit and business have almost entirely broke the neck of these absurdities. Victor, after having despatched the most off your extravagant bills once more, but will important affairs of the commonwealth, has take effectual care for the future, that your apeared at an assembly, where all the ladies prodigality shall not spirit up a parcel of rashave declared him the genteelest man in the cals to insult your father.' company; and in Atticus, though every way Though I by no means approve either the one of the greatest geniuses the age has pro- impudence of the servants or the extravagance duced, one sees nothing particular in his dress of the son, I cannot but think the old gentle. or carriage to denote his pretensions to wit man was in some measure justly served for and learning so that at present a man may walking in masquerade, I mean appearing in venture to cock up his hat, and wear a fash-a dress so much beneath his quality and ionable wig, without being taken for a rake estate. or a fool. X. No. 151.] Thursday, August 28, 1711. The medium between a fop and a sloven is what a man of sense would endeavour to keep; yet I remember Mr. Osborn advises his son to appear in his habit rather above than below dominante. his fortune; and tells him that he will find an handsome suit of clothes always procures some additional respect.* I have indeed myself observed that my banker ever bows low- I KNOW no one character that gives reason a est to me when I wear my full-bottomed wig; greater shock, at the same time that it preand writes me 'Mr.' or ' Esq.' according as sents a good ridiculous image to the imaginahe sees me dressed. tion, than that of a man of wit and pleasure I shall conclude this paper with an adven-about the town. This description of a man of ture which I was myself an eye-witness of very fashion, spoken by some with a mixture of lately. scorn and ridicule, by others with great gra I happened the other day to call in at a cele-vity as a laudable distinction, is in every body's brated coffee-house near the Temple. I had mouth that spends any time in conversation. not been there long when there came in an My friend Will Honeycomb has this expression elderly man very meanly dressed, and sat very frequently; and I never could understand down by me; he had a thread-bare loose coat by the story which follows, upon his mention on, which it was plain he wore to keep himself of such a one, but that his man of wit and warm, and not to favour his under suit, which pleasure was either a drunkard, too old for seemed to have been at least its contempora- wenching, or a young lewd fellow with some ry his short wig and hat were both answer-liveliness, who would converse with you, re. able to the rest of his apparel. He was no ceive kind offices of you, and at the same time sooner seated than he called for a dish of debauch your sister, or lie with your wife. tea; but as several gentlemen in the room According to his description, a man of wit, wanted other things, the boys of the house did when he could have wenches for crowns anot think themselves at leisure to mind him. I piece which he liked quite as well, would be so could observe the old fellow was very uneasy at extravagant as to bribe servants, make false the affront, and at his being obliged to repeat friendships, fight relations: I say, according his commands several times to no purpose; to him, plain and simple vice was too little for until at last one of the lads presented him with a man of wit and pleasure; but he would some stale tea in a broken dish, accompanied leave an easy and accessible wickedness, to with a plate of brown sugar; which so raised come at the same thing with only the addition his indignation, that after several obliging of certain falsehood and possible murder. Will appellations of dog and rascal, he asked him thinks the town grown very dull, in that we aloud before the whole company, Why he do not hear so much as we used to do of those must be used with less respect than that fop coxcombs, whom (without observing it) he there?' pointing to a well dressed young gen- describes as the most infamous rogues in natleman who was drinking tea at the opposite ture, with relation to friendship, love, or con table. The boy of the house replied with a versation. good deal of pertness, 'that his master had When pleasure is made the chief pursuit of two sorts of customers, and that the gentle-life, it will necessarily follow that such monman at the other table had given him many asters as these will arise from a constant applisixpence for wiping his shoes.' By this time cation to such blandishments as naturally root the young Templar, who found his honour con-out the force of reason and reflection, and cerned in the dispute, and that the eyes of the substitute in their place a general impatience whole coffee-house were upon him, had thrown of thought, and a constant pruriency of inaside a paper he had in his hand, and was com-ordinate desire. ing towards us, while we at the table made Pleasure, when it is a man's chief purpose, what haste we could to get away from the im- disappoints itself; and the constant applicapending quarrel, but were all of us surprised tion to it palls the faculty of enjoying it, to see him as he approached nearer put on an though it leaves the sense of our inability for air of deference and respect. To whom the that we wish, with a disrelish of every thing old man said, 'Hark you, sirrah, I will pay else. Thus the intermediate seasons of the man of pleasure are more heavy than one would impose upon the vilest criminal. Take him when he is awaked too soon after a de bauch, or disappointed in following a worth-pleasure leaves to his family. All the poor less woman without truth, and there is no man rogues that make such lamentable speeches living whose being is such a weight or vexa-after every sessions at Tyburn, were, in tion as his is. He is an utter stranger to the their way, men of wit and pleasure before pleasing reflections in the evening of a well- they fell into the adventures which brought spent day, or the gladness of heart or quick them thither. ness of spirit in the morning after profound Irresolution and procrastination in all a sleep or indolent slumbers. He is not to be man's affairs, are the natural effects of being at ease any longer than he can keep reason addicted to pleasure. Dishonour to the genand good sense without his curtains; other-tleman and bankruptcy to the trader, are the wise he will be haunted with the reflection, portion of either whose chief purpose of life is that he could not believe such a one the wo- delight. The chief cause that this pursuit has man that upon trial he found her. What has been in all ages received with so much quarter he got by his conquest, but to think meanly from the soberer part of mankind, has been that of her for whom a day or two before he had some men of great talents have sacrificed the highest honour? And of himself for per- themselves to it. The shining qualities of haps wronging the man whom of all men liv-such people have given a beauty to whatever ing he himself would least willingly have injured? they were engaged in, and a mixture of wit has recommended madness. For let any man Pleasure seizes the whole man who addicts who knows what it is to have passed much himself to it, and will not give him leisure for time in a series of jollity, mirth, wit, or huany good office in life which contradicts the morous entertainments, look back at what he gayety of the present hour. You may indeed was all that while a doi..g, and he will find that observe in people of pleasure a certain com- he has been at one instant sharp to some man placency and absence of all severity, which he is sorry to have offended, impertinent to the habit of a loose unconcerned life gives some one it was cruelty to treat with such freethem; but tell the man of pleasure your se- dom, ungracefully noisy at such a time, uncret wants, cares, or sorrows, and you will skilfully open at such a time, unmercifully find that he has given up the delicacy of his calumnious at such a time; and from the whole passions to the cravings of his appetites. He course of his applauded satisfactions, unable little knows the perfect joy he loses, for the in the end to recollect any circumstance which disappointing gratifications which he pursues. can add to the enjoyment of his own mind He looks at Pleasure as she approaches, and alone, or which he would put his character comes to him with the recommendation of upon, with other men. Thus it is with those warm wishes, gay looks, and graceful mo- who are best made for becoming pleasures; tion; but he does not observe how she leaves but how monstrous is it in the generality of his presence with disorder, impotence, down-mankind who pretend this way, without genius cast shame, and conscious imperfection. She or inclination towards it! The scene then is makes our youth inglorious, our age shame-wild to an extravagance: this is, as if fools ful. should mimic madmen. Pleasure of this kind Will Honeycomb gives us twenty intima- is the intemperate meals and loud jollities of tions in an evening of several hags whose the common rate of country gentlemen, whose bloom was given up to his arms; and would practice and way of enjoyment is to put an raise a value to himself for having had, as end as fast as they can to that little particle of the phrase is, very good women.' Will's reason they have when they are sober. These good women are the comfort of his heart, and men of wit and pleasure despatch their senses support him, I warrant, by the memory of as fast as possible by drinking until they past interviews with persons of their condi- cannot taste, smoking until they cannot see, tion. No, there is not in the world an occa- and roaring until they cannot hear. sion wherein vice makes so fantastical a figure, as at the meeting of two old people Οι περ φύλλων γενεη, το ιδε και ανδρών. T. Hom. Il. vi. 146. Like leaves on trees the race of man is found. who have been partners in unwarrantable No. 152.] Friday, August 24, 1711. pleasure. To tell a toothless old lady that she once had a good set, or a defunct wencher that he once was the admired thing of the town, are satires instead of applauses; but on the other side, consider the old age of those who have passed their days in labour, industry, and virtue, their decays make them THERE is no sort of people whose conversabut appear the more venerable, and the im-tion is so pleasant as that of military men, perfections of their bodies are beheld as a mis- who derive their courage and magnanimity fortune to human society that their make is so from thought and reflection. The many adlittle durable. ventures which attend their way of life makes But to return more directly to my man of their conversation so full of incidents, and wit and pleasure. In all orders of men, where- gives them so frank an air in speaking of ever this is the chief character, the person who what they have been witnesses of, that no wears it is a negligent friend, father, and hus- company can be more amiable than that of band, and entails poverty on his unhappy de- men of sense who are soldiers. There is a scendants. Mortgages, diseases, and settle- certain irregular way in their narrations or ments, are the legacies a man of wit and discourse, which has something more warm thoughts. and pleasing than we meet among men who centives to destroy the little consideration of are used to adjust and methodise their their own persons. Such are the heroic part of soldiers who are qualified for leaders. As I was this evening walking in the fields with to the rest whom I before spoke of, I know not my friend Captain Sentry, and I could not, how it is, bu' they arrive at a certain habit of from the many relations which I drew him in- being void of thought, insomuch that on occato of what passed when he was in the service,sion of the most imminent danger they are still forbear expressing my wonder, that the fear in the same indifference. Nay, I remember an of death,' which we, the rest of mankind, arm instance of a gay Frenchman,* who was led ourselves against with so much contempla-on in battle by a superior officer, (whose contion, reason, and philosophy, should appear duct it was his custom to speak of always with so little in camps, that common men march contempt and raillery) and in the beginning of into open breaches, meet opposite battalions, the action received a wound he was sensible not only without reluctance but with alacrity.was mortal; his reflection on this occasion My friend answered what I said in the follow-was, "I wish I could live another hour, to see ing manner: What you wonder at may very how this blundering coxcomb will get clear of naturally be the subject of admiration to all this business." who are not conversant in camps; but when a 'I rem mber two young fellows who rid in man has spent some time in that way of life, the same squadron of a troop of horse, who he observes a certain mechanic courage which were ever together; they ate, they drank, the ordinary race of men become masters of they intrigued; in a word, all their passions from acting always in a crowd. They see in-and affections seemed to tend the same way, deed many drop, but then they see many more and they appeared serviceable to each other in alive; they observe themselves escape very them. We were in the dusk of the evening to narrowly, and they do not know why they march over a river, and the troop these genshould not again. Besides which general way tlemen belonged to were to be transported in a of loose thinking, they usually spend the ferry-boat, as fast as they could. One of the other part of their time in pleasures upon friends was now in the boat, while the other which their minds are so entirely bent, that was drawn up with others by the water-side, short labours or dangers are but a cheap pur-waiting the return of the boat. A disorder chase of jollity, triumph, victory, fresh quar-happened in the passage by an unruly horse; ters, new scenes, and uncommon adventures. and a gentleman who had the rein of his horse Such are the thoughts of the executive part of negligently under his arm, was forced into the an army, and indeed of the gross of mankind water by his horse's jumping over. The friend in general; but none of these men of mecha- on the shore cried out, "Who is that is drownnical courage have ever made any great figure ed, trow?" He was immediately answered, in the profession of arms. Those who are "Your friend, Harry Thompson." He very formed for command, are such as have rea- gravely replied, Ay, he had a mad horse." soned themselves out of a consideration of This short epitaph from such a familiar, withgreater good than length of days, into such a out more words, gave me, at that time unnegligence of their being, as to make it their der twenty, a very moderate opinion of the first position, that it is one day to be resigned; friendship of companions. Thus is affection and since it is, in the prosecution of worthy ac- and every other motive of life in the genera tions and service of mankind, they can put it lity rooted out by the present busy scene to habitual hazard. The event of our designs, about, them: they lament no man whose casay they, as it relates to others, is uncertain;pacity can be supplied by another; and where but as it relates to ourselves it must be pros-men converse without delicacy, the next man perous, while we are in the pursuit of our duty, you meet will serve as well as he whom you and within the terms upon which Providence have lived with half your life. To such the has insured our happiness, whether we die or devastation of countries, the misery of inha live. All that nature has prescribed must be bitants, the cries of the pillaged, and the silent good; and as death is natural to us, it is ab-sorrow of the great unfortunate, are ordinary surdity to fear it. Fear loses its purpose when objects; their minds are bent upon the little we are sure it cannot preserve us, and we gratifications of their own senses and appeshould draw resolution to meet it from the im-tites, forgetful of compassion, insensible of possibility to escape it. Without a resigna-glory; avoiding only shame; their whole hearts tion to the necessity of dying, there can be no taken up with the trivial hope of meeting and capacity in man to attempt any thing that is being merry. These are the people who make glorious but when they have once attained to up the gross of the soldiery. But the fine that perfection, the pleasures of a life spent in gentleman in that band of men is such a one martial adventures are as great as any of as I have now in my eye, who is foremost in which the human mind is capable. The force all danger to which he is ordered. His officers of reason gives a certain beauty mixed with are his friends and companions, as they are the conscience of well-doing and thirst of glo- men of honour and gentlemen; the private ry, to all which before was terrible and ghast-men his brethren, as they are of his species. ly to the imagination. Add to this, that the He is beloved of all that behold him. They fellowship of danger, the common good of wish him in danger as he views their ranks, mankind, the general cause, and the manifest 66 virtue you may observe in so many men, who *The Chevalier de Flourilles, a lieutenant-general unmade no figure until that day, are so many in-der the Prince of Condé, at the battle of Senelf, in 1674. No. 153,] Saturday, August 25, 1711. T. that they may have occasions to save him at rupted by death in the midst of their follies, their own hazard. Mutual love is the order of must certainly come. When an old man bethe files where he commands; every man wails the loss of such gratifications which are afraid for himself and his neighbour, not lest passed, he discovers a monstrous inclination their commander should punish them, but lest to that which it is not in the course of Provihe should be offended. Such is his regiment dence to recall. The state of an old man, who who knows mankind, and feels their distresses is dissatisfied merely for his being such, is the so far as to prevent them. Just in distributing most out of all measures of reason and good what is their due, he would think himself be- sense of any being we have any account of low their tailor to wear a snip of their clothes from the highest angel to the lowest worm. in lace upon his own; and below the most ra- How miserable is the contemplation to consipacious agent, should he enjoy a farthing der a libidinous old man (while all created beabove his own pay. Go on, brave man, im-ings, besides himself and devils, are following mortal glory is thy fortune, and immortal the order of Providence) fretting at the course happiness thy reward.' of things, and being almost the sole malecontent in the creation. But let us a little reflect upon what he has lost by the number of years. The passions which he had in youth are not to be obeyed as they were then, but reason is more powerful now without the disturbance of them. An old gentleman the other day in discourse with a friend of his (reflecting upon some adventures they had in youth together) cried out, Oh, Jack, those were happy days!' That is true,' replied his friend, but methinks we go about our business more quietly than we did then.' One would think it should be no small Or all the impertinent wishes which we satisfaction to have gone so far in our journey hear expressed in conversation, there is not that the heat of the day is over with us. When one more unworthy'a gentleman or a man of life itself is a fever, as it is in licentious youth, liberal education, than that of wishing one's the pleasures of it are no other than the dreams self younger. I have observed this wish is of a man in that distemper; and it is as absurd to wish the return of that season of life, as for a man in health to be sorry for the loss of gilded palaces, fairy walks, and flowery pastures with which he remembers he was entertained in the troubled slumbers of a fit of sickness. Habet natura ut aliarum omnium rerum sic vivendi modum; senectus autem peractio ætatis est tanquam fabulæ. Cujus defatigationem fugere debemus, præsertim adjunctâ satietate. Tull. de Senect. Life, as well as all other things, hath its bounds assigned by nature; and its conculsion, like the last act of a play, is old age; the fatigue of which we ought to shun, especially when our appetites are fully satisfied. usually made upon sight of some object which gives the idea of a past action, that it is no dishonour to us that we cannot now repeat; or else on what was in itself shameful when we performed it. It is a certain sign of a foolish or a dissolute mind if we want our youth again only for the strength of bones and si- As to all the rational and worthy pleasures news which we once were masters of. It is of our being, the conscience of a good fame, (as my author has it) as absurd in an old man the contemplation of another life, the respect to wish for the strength of a youth, as it would and commerce of honest men, our capacities be in a young man to wish for the strength of for such enjoyments are enlarged by years. a bull or a horse. These wishes are both While health endures, the latter part of life, equally out of nature, which should direct in in the eye of reason, is certainly the more all things that are not contradictory to justice, eligible. The memory of a well-spent youth law, and reason. But though every old man gives a peaceable, unmixed, and elegant pleahas been young, and every young one hopes sure to the mind; and to such who are so unto be old, there seems to be a most unnatural fortunate as not to be able to look back on misunderstanding between those two stages of youth with satisfaction, they may give themlife. This unhappy want of commerce arises selves no little consolation that they are under from the insolent arrogance or exultation in no temptation to repeat their follies, and that youth, and the irrational despondence or self-they at present despise them. It was prettily pity in age. A young man whose passion and said, He that would be long an old man, ambition is to be good and wise, and an old must begin early to be one: It is too late to one who has no inclination to be lewd or de- resign a thing after a man is robbed of it; bauched, are quite unconcerned in this specu- therefore it is necessary that before the arrival lation; but the cocking young fellow who treads upon the toes of his elders, and the old fool who envies the saucy pride he sees him in, are the objects of our present contempt and derision. Contempt and derision are harsh words; but in what manner can one give advice to a youth in the pursuit and possession of sensual pleasures, or afford pity to an old man The fond humour of appearing in the gay in the impotence and desire of enjoying them? and fashionable world, and being applauded When young men in public places betray in for trivial excellencies, is what makes youth their deportment an abandoned resignation to have in age contempt, and makes age retheir appetites, they give to sober minds a pros-sign with so ill a grace the qualifications of pect of a despicable age, which, if not inter-youth, but this in both sexes is inverting all of age we bid adieu to the pursuits of youth, otherwise sensual habits will live in our imaginations, when our limbs cannot be subservient to them. The poor fellow who lost his arm last siege, will tell you, he feels the fingers that are buried in Flanders ache every cold morning at Chelsea. |