things, and turning the natural course of our gentleman, and had the finishing part of my minds, which should build their approbations education under a man of great probity, wit, and dislike upon what nature and reason dic- and learning, in one of our universities. I will tate, into chimera and confusion. not deny but this made my behaviour and mien Age in a virtuous person, of either sex, car- bear in it a figure of thought rather than acries in it an authority which makes it prefera- tion; and a man of a quite contrary characble to all the pleasures of youth. If to be sa-ter, who never thoaght in his life, rallied luted, attended, and consulted with deference, me one day upon it, and said he believed I are instances of pleasure, they are such as ne- was still a virgin.' There was a young lady of ver fail a virtuous old age. In the enumeration virtue present, and I was not displeased to of the imperfections and advantages of the favour the insinuation; but it had a quite younger and later years of man, they are so contrary effect from what I expected. I was near in their condition, that, methinks, it ever after treated with great coldness both by should be incredible we see so little commerce that lady and all the rest of my acquaintance. of kindness between them. If we consider In a very little time I never came into a room youth and age with Tully, regarding the affi- but I could hear a whisper, Here comes the nity to death, youth has many more chances maid.' A girl of humour would on some occato be near it than age; what youth can say sion say, ' Why, how do you know more than more than an old man, 'He shall live until any of us?' An expression of that kind was night?' Youth catches distempers more easily, generally followed by a loud laugh. In a word, its sickness is more violent, and its recovery for no other fault in the world than that they more doubtful. The youth indeed hopes for really thought me as innocent as themselves. many more days, so cannot the old man. I became of no consequence among them, and The youth's hopes are ill grounded; for what was received always upon the foot of a jest. is more foolish than to place any confidence This made so strong an impression upon me, upon an uncertainty? But the old man has that I'resolved to be as agreeable as the best not room so much as to hope; he is still hap-of the men who laughed at me: but I observed pier than the youth, he has already enjoyed it was nonsense for me to be impudent at first what the other does but hope for. One wishes among those who knew me. My character to live long, the other has lived long. But for modesty was so notorious wherever I had alas, is there any thing in human life, the du- hitherto appeared, that I resolved to show my ration of which can be called long? There is new face in new quarters of the world. My nothing which must end, to be valued for its first step I chose with judgment; for I went continuance. If hours, days, months and to Astrop, and came down among a crowd of years pass away, it is no matter what hour, acadamies, at one dash, the impudentest fellow what day, what month, or what year we die. they had ever seen in their lives. Flushed The applause of a good actor is due to him at with this success, I made love and was happy. whatever scene of the play he makes his exit. Upon this conquest I thought it would be unIt is thus in the life of a man of sense, a short like a gentleman to stay long with my mistress, life is sufficient to manifest himself a man of and crossed the country to Bury. I could honour and virtue; when he ceases to be such give you a very good account of myself at that he has lived too long, and while he is such, it is of no consequence to him how long he shall be so, provided he is so to his life's end. T. No. 154.] Monday, August 27, 1711. Nemo repentè fuit turpissimus. 6 MR. SPECTATOR, Tate. * place also. At these two ended my first summer of gallantry. The winter following, you would wonder at it, but I relapsed into modesty upon coming among people of figure in London, yet not so much but that the ladies who had formerly laughed at me, said, 'Bless us! how wonderfully that gentleman is imJuv. Sat. ii. 83. proved!' Some familiarities about the playhouses towards the end of the ensuing winter, made me conceive new hopes of adventures. And instead of returning the next summer to Astrop or Bury, I thought myself qualified to 'You are frequent in the mention of mat-go to Epsom, and followed a young woman, ters which concern the feminine world, and whose relations were jealous of my place in take upon you to be very severe against men her favour, to Scarborough. I carried my upon all those occasions: but all this while I point, and in my third year aspired to go to am afraid you have been very little conversant Tunbridge, and in the autumn of the same with women, or you would know the general-year made my appearance at Bath. I was ity of them are not so angry as you imagine now got into the way of talk proper for laat the general vices among us. I am apt to dies, and was run into a vast acquaintance believe (begging your pardon) that you are among them, which I always improved to the still what I myself was once, a queer modest best advantage. In all this course of time, and fellow; and therefore, for your information, some years following, I found a sober modest shall give you a short account of myself, and man was always looked upon by both sexes as the reasons why I was forced to wench, drink, a precise unfashioned fellow of no life or spirit. play, and do every thing which are necessary It was ordinary for a man who had been drunk to the character of a man of wit and pleasure, to be well with the ladies. * Astrop Wells in Oxfordshire. † Bury-fair. A place of fashionable resort. in good company, or passed a night with a 'Mr. Spectator, I do not doubt but you are wench, to speak of it next day before women a very sagacious person, but you are so great for whom he had the greatest respect. He with Tully of late, that I fear you will conwas reproved, perhaps, with a blow of the fan, temn these things as matters of no consequence: or with an 'oh fy!' but the angry lady still but believe me, sir, they are of the highest preserved an apparent approbation in her importance to human life; and if you can do countenance. He was called a strange wicked any thing towards opening fair eyes, you will fellow, a sad wretch; he shrugs his shoulders, lay an obligation upon all your contemporaswears, receives another blow swears again heries, who are fathers, husbands, or brothers to did not know he swore, and all was well. You females. might often see men game in the presence of women, and throw at once for more than they were worth, to recommend themselves as men of spirit. I found by long experience that the loosest principles and most abandoned behaviour, carried all before them in pretensions No. 155.] Tuesday, August 28, 1711. The encouragement 'Your most affectionate humble servant, T. Hæ nugæ seria ducunt In mala to women of fortune. given to people of this stamp, made me soon throw off the remaining impressions of a sober education. In the above-mentioned places, as well as in town, I always kept company with those who lived most at large; and in I HAVE more than once taken notice of an the process of time I was a pretty rake among indecent license taken in discourse, wherein the men, and a very pretty fellow among the the conversation on one part is involuntary, women. I must confess, I had some melan- and the effect of some necessary circumstances. choly hours upon the account of the nar- This happens in travelling together in the rowness of my fortune, but my conscience same hired coach, sitting near each other in at the same time gave me the comfort that any public assembly, or the like. I have, upon I had qualified myself for marrying a for tune. making observations of this sort, received innumerable messages from that part of the fair 'When I had lived in this manner for some sex whose lot in life it is to be of any trade or time, and became thus accomplished, I was public way of life. They are all, to a woman, now in the twenty-seventh year of my age, urgent with me to lay before the world the and about the forty-seventh of my constitu- unhappy circumstances they are under, from tion, my health and estate wasting very fast; the unreasonable liberty which is taken in their when I happened to fall into the company of presence, to talk on what subject it is thought a very pretty young lady in her own disposal. fit by every coxcomb who wants understand1 entertained the company, as we men of gal- ing or breeding. One or two of these comlantry generally do, with the many haps and plaints I shall set down. disasters, watchings under windows, escapes from jealous husbands, and several other perils. The young thing was wonderfully charmed with 'I keep a coffee-house, and am one of those one that knew the world so well, and talked whom you have thought fit to mention as an so fine; 'with Desdemona, all her lover said af- idol some time ago. I suffered a good deal of fected her; 'It was strange, it was wondrous raillery upon that occasion; but shall heartily strange.' In a word, I saw the impression I forgive you, who are the cause of it, if you had made upon her, and with a very little ap- will do me justice in another point. What I plication the pretty thing has married me. ask of you, is, to acquaint my customers (who There is so much charm in her innocence and are otherwise very good ones) that I am unbeauty, that I do now as much detest the avoidably hasped in my bar, and cannot help course I have been in for many years, as I ever did before I entered into it. 'MR. SPECTATOR, hearing the improper discourses they are pleased to entertain me with. They strive who shall say the most immodest things in my hearing. At the same time half a dozen of them loll at the bar staring just in my face, ready to interpret my looks and gestures according to their own imaginations. In this 'What I intend, Mr. Spectator, by writing all this to you, is that you would, before you go any further with your panegyrics on the fair-sex, give them some lectures upon their silly approbations. It is that I am weary of vice, and that it was not my natural way, passive condition I know not where to cast my that I am now so far recovered as not to bring eyes, place my hands, or what to employ mythis believing dear creature to contempt and self in. But this confusion is but a jest, and poverty for her generosity to me. At the same I hear them say in the end, with an insipid air time tell the youth of good education of our of mirth and subtlety, Let her alone, she knows sex, that they take too little care of improving as well as we, for all she looks so.' Good themselves in little things. A good air at en- Mr. Spectator, persuade gentlemen that it is tering into a room, a proper audacity in ex-out of all decency. Say it is possible a woman pressing himself with gayety and gracefulness, may be modest and yet keep a public-house. would make a young gentleman of virtue and Be pleased to argue, that in truth the afsense capable of discountenancing the shal- front is the more unpardonable because I am low impudent rogues, that shine among the obliged to suffer it, and cannot fly from it. I do assure you, sir, the cheerfulness of life women. 'Your most humble servant, 'THE IDOL.' which would arise from the honest gain I have, even to the buying and selling our very peris utterly lost to me, from the endless, flat, sons; that young women, though they have impertinent pleasantries which I hear from never so great attractions from nature, are nemorning to night. In a word, it is too much ver the nearer being happily disposed of in for me to bear; and I desire you to acquaint marriage; I say, it is very hard under this uethem, that I will keep pen and ink at the bar, cessity, it shall not be possible for them and write down all they say to me, and send it to go into a way of trade for their maintenance, to you for the press. It is possible when they but their very excellencies and personal persee how empty what they speak, without the fections shall be a disadvantage to them, and advantage of an impudent countenance and subject them to be treated as if they stood gesture, will appear, they may come to some there to sell their persons to prostitution. sense of themselves, and the insults they are There cannot be a more melancholy circumguilty of towards me. stance to one who has made any observation 'I am, Sir, in the world, than one of those erring crea tures exposed to bankruptcy. When that happens, none of those toying fools will de any more than any other man they meet to preThis representation is so just, that it is hard serve her from infamy, insult, and distemper. to speak of it without an indignation which per- A woman is naturally more helpless than the haps would appear too elevated to such as can other sex; and a man of honour and sense be guilty of this inhuman treatment, where should have this in his view in all manner of they see they affront a modest, plain, and inge-commerce with her. Were this well weighed, nuous behaviour. This correspondent is not inconsideration, ribaldry, and nonsense, would the only sufferer in this kind, for I have long not be more natural to entertain women with letters both from the Royal and New-Exchange than men ; and it would be as much impertion the same subject. They tell me that a young nence to go into a shop of one of these young fop cannot buy a pair of gloves, but he is at women without buying, as into that of any the same time straining for some ingenious ri- other trader. I shall end this speculation, with baldry to say to the young woman who helps a letter I have received from a pretty milliner them on. It is no small addition to the calami-in the city. ty, that the rogues buy as hard as the plainest and modestest customers they have; besides which, they loll upon the counters half an 'I have read your account of beauties, and hour longer than they need, to drive away was not a little surprised to find no character other customers, who are to share their imper- of myself in it. I do assure you I have little tinencies with the milliner, or go to another's else to do but to give audience, as I am such. shop. Letters from 'Change-alley are full of Here are merchants of no small consideration, the same evil; and the girls tell me, except I who call in as certainly as they go to 'Change, can chase some eminent merchants from their to say something of my roguish eye. shops, they shall in a short time fail. It is very here is one who makes me once or twice a unaccountable, that men can have so little de-week tumble over all my goods, and then owns ference to all mankind who pass by them, as it was only a gallantry to see me act with these to bear being seen toying by twos and threes pretty hands; then lays out three-pence in a at a time, with no other purpose but to appear little riband for his wristbands, and thinks he gay enough to keep up a lignt conversation of is a man of great vivacity. There is an ugly common-place jests, to the injury of her whose thing not far off me, whose shop is frequented credit is certainly hurt by it, though their own only by people of business, that is all day long may be strong enough to bear it. When we as busy as possible. Must I that am a beauty come to have exact accounts of these conver-be treated with for nothing but my beauty? sations, it is not to be doubted but that their Be pleased to assign rates to my kind glances, discourses will raise the usual style of buying or make all pay who come to see me, or I shall and selling. Instead of the plain downright | be undone by my admirers for want of custolying, and asking and bidding so unequally to mers. Albacinda, Eudosia, and all the rest, what they will really give and take, we may would be used just as we are, if they were in hope to have from these fine folks an exchange our condition; therefore pray consider the of compliments. There must certainly be a distress of us, the lower order of beauties, and great deal of pleasant difference between the I shall be commerce of lovers, and that of all other deal- T. ers, who are, in a kind, adversaries. A sealed bond, or a bank-note, would be a pretty gallant MR. SPECTATOR, And 'Your obliged humble servant.' Sed tu simul obligâsti ry to convey unseen into the hands of one No. 156.] Wednesday, August 29, 1711. whom a director is charmed with; otherwise the city-loiterers are still more unreasonable than those at the other end of the town. the New-Exchange they are eloquent for want of cash, but in the city they ought with cash to supply their want of eloquence. At If one might be serious on this prevailing folly, one might observe, that it is a melan. Pulchrior multo Hor. Lib. 2 Od. viii. 5. But thou, When once thou hast broke some tendervow, I Do not think any thing could make a plea choly thing, when the world is mercenary santer entertainment, than the history of the VOL. I. 26 plished with the knowledge of the ordinary occurrences about court and town, have that sort of good-breeding which is exclusive of all morality, and consists only in being publicly decent, privately dissolute. reigning favourites among the women from ture living, has a wonderful deal of wit and time to time about this town. In such an ac- humour, and never wants something to say; count we ought to have a faithful confession of besides all which, he has a most spiteful daneach lady for what she liked such and such a gerous tongue if you should provoke him. man, and he ought to tell us by what particu- To make a woman's man, he must not be a lar action or dress he believed he should be man of sense, or a fool; the business is to enmost successful. As for my part, I have al-tertain, and it is much better to have a faculty ways made as easy a judgment when a man of arguing, than a capacity of judging right. dresses for the ladies, as when he is equipped But the pleasantest of all the women's equifor hunting or coursing. The woman's man is page are your regular visitants; these are voa person in his air and behaviour quite differ- lunteers in their service, without hopes of pay ent from the rest of our species. His garb is or preferment. It is enough that they can lead more loose and negligent, his manner more out from a public place, that they are admitted soft and indolent; that is to say, in both these on a public day, and can be allowed to pass cases there is an apparent endeavour to ap-away part of that heavy load, their time, in the pear unconcerned and careless. In catching company of the fair. But commend me above birds the fowlers have a method of imitating all others to those who are known for your their voices, to bring them to the snare; and ruiners of ladies; these are the choicest spirits your women's men have always a similitude which our age produces. We have several of of the creature they hope to betray, in their these irresistible gentlemen among us when the own conversation. A woman's man is very company is in town. These fellows are accomknowing in all that passes from one family to another, has pretty little officiousnesses, is "not at a loss what is good for a cold, and it is not amiss if he has a bottle of spirits in his pocket in case of any sudden indisposition. Curiosity having been my prevailing pas- It is wonderful how far a fond opinion of sion, and indeed the sole entertainment of my herself can carry a woman, to make her have life, I have sometimes made it my business to the least regard to a professed known woman's examine the course of intrigues as well as the man; but as scarce one of all women who manners and accomplishments of such as have are in the tour of gallantries ever hears any been most successful that way. In all my ob- thing of what is the common sense of sober servation, I never knew a man of good under-minds, but are entertained with a continual standing a general favourite; some singularity round of flatteries, they cannot be mistresses in his behaviour, some whim in his way of life, of themselves enough to make arguments for and what would have made him ridiculous their own conduct from the behaviour of these among the men, has recommended him to the men to others. It is so far otherwise, that a other sex. I should be very sorry to offend a general fame for falsehood in this kind, is a people so fortunate as these of whom I am recommendation; and the coxcomb, loaded speaking; but let any one look over the old with the favours of many others, is received beaux, and he will find the man of success like a victor that disdains his trophies, to be a was remarkable for quarrelling impertinently victim to the present charmer. for their sakes, for dressing unlike the rest of If you see a man more full of gesture than the world, or passing his days in an insipid ordinary in a public assembly, if loud upon no assiduity about the fair sex to gain the figure occasion, if negligent of the company around he made amongst them. Add to this, that he him, and yet laying wait for destroying by must have the reputation of being well with that negligence, you may take it for granted other women, to please any one woman of that he has ruined many a fair one. gallantry; for you are to know, that there is man's man expresses himself wholly in that a mighty ambition among the light part of the motion which we call strutting. An elevated sex to gain slaves from the dominion of others. chest, a pinched hat, a measurable step, and a My friend Will Honeycomb says it was a sly surveying eye, are the marks of him. Now common bite with him, to lay suspicions that and then you see a gentleman with all these he was favoured by a lady's enemy, that is, accomplishments; but, alas, any one of them some rival beauty, to be well with herself. A is enough to undo thousands: when a gentlelittle spite is natural to a great beauty and it man with such perfections adds to it suitable is ordinary to snap up a disagreeable fellow learning, there should be public warning of lest another should have him. That impudent his residence in town, that we may remove toad Bareface fares well among all the ladies our wives and daughters. It happens somehe converses with, for no other reason in the times that such a fine man has read all the world but that he has the skill to keep them miscellany poems, a few of our comedies, and from explanation with one another. Did they has the translation of Ovid's Epistles by heart, know there is not one who likes him in her Oh if it were possible that such a one could heart, each would declare her scorn of him be as true as he is charming! But that is too the next moment; but he is well received by much, the women will share such a dear false them because it is the fashion, and opposition man: a little gallantry to hear him talk one to each other brings them insensibly into an would indulge one's self in, let him reckon imitation of each other. What adds to him the sticks of one's fan, say something of the the greatest grace is, that the pleasant thief, Cupids in it; and then call one so many soft as they call him, is the most inconstant crea-names which a man of his learning has at his The wo No. 157.] Thursday, August 30, 1711. C. Genius, natale comes qui temperat astrum, Naturæ Deus humanæ, mortalis in unum. quodque caput Hor. Lib. 2. Ep. ii. 187. IMITATED. That directing pow'r, Who forms the genius in the natal hour: That God of nature, who, within us still, Inclines our action, not constrains our will. Pope. It fingers'-ends. There sure is some excuse for sider the ignorance and undiscerning of the frailty, when attacked by such force against generality of schoolmasters. The boasted lia weak woman.' Such is the soliloquy of berty we talk of is but a mean reward for the many a lady one might name, at the sight of long servitude, the many heart-aches and terone of those who makes it no iniquity to go rors, to which our childhood is exposed in goon from day to day in the sin of woman- ing through a grammar-school. Many of these slaughter. stupid tyrants exercise their cruelty without It is certain that people are got into a way of any manner of distinction of the capacities of affectation, with a manner of overlooking the children, or the intention of parents in their most solid virtues, and admiring the most tri- behalf. There are many excellent tempers vial excellencies. The woman is so far from which are worthy to be nourished and culti-. expecting to be contemned for being a very in-vated with all possible diligence and care, that judicious silly animal, that while she can pre-were never designed to be acquainted with serve her features and her mien, she knows she Aristotle, Tully, or Virgil; and there are as is still the object of desire; and there is a sort many who have capacities for understanding of secret ambition, from reading frivolous every word those great persons have writ, and books, and keeping as frivolous company, yet were not born to have any relish of their each side to be amiable in perfection, and writings. For want of this common and obarrive at the characters of the Dear Deceiver vious discerning in those who have the care of and the Perjured Fair. youth, we have so many hundred unaccountable creatures every age whipped up into great scholars, that are for ever near a right understanding, and will never arrive at it. These are the scandal of letters, and these are generally the men who are to teach others. The sense of shame and honour is enough to keep the world itself in order without corporal punishment, much more to train the minds of uncorrupted and innocent children. happens, I doubt not, more than once in a year, that a lad is chastised for a blockhead, when it is a good apprehension that makes him I AM very much at a loss to express by any incapable of knowing what his teacher means. word that occurs to me in our language that A brisk imagination very often may suggest an which is understood by indoles in Latin. The error, which a lad could not have fallen into, natural disposition to any particular art, sci-if he had been as heavy in conjecturing as his ence, profession, or trade, is very much to be master in explaining. But there is no mercy consulted in the care of youth, and studied even towards a wrong interpretation of his by men for their own conduct when they form meaning, the sufferings of the scholar's body to themselves any scheme of life. It is won-are to rectify the mistakes of his mind. derfully hard indeed for a man to judge of his I am confident that no boy, who will not own capacity impartially. That may look be allured to letters without blows, will ever great to me which may appear little to ano-be brought to any thing with them. A great ther; and I may be carried by fondness to- or good mind must necessarily be the worse wards myself so far, as to attempt things too for such indignities; and it is a sad change, to high for my talents and accomplishments. But lose of its virtue for the improvement of its it is not methinks so very difficult a matter to knowledge. No one who has gone through make a judgment of the abilities of others, what they call a great school, but must reespecially of those who are in their infancy. member to have seen children of excellent and My common-place book directs me on this oc- ingenuous natures (as has afterwards appearcasion to mention the dawning of greatness in ed in their manhood); I say no man has pasAlexander, who being asked in his youth to sed through this way of education, but must contend for a prize in the Olympic games, have seen an ingenuous creature expiring with answered he would, if he had kings to run shame, with pale looks, beseeching sorrow, against him. Cassius, who was one of the and silent tears, throw up its honest eyes, conspirators against Cæsar, gave as great a and kneel on its tender knees to an inexorable proof of his temper, when in his childhood he blockhead, to be forgiven the false quantity of struck a play-fellow, the son of Sylla, for say-a word in making a Latin verse. The child is ing his father was master of the Roman peo- punished, and the next day he commits a like ple. Scipio is reported to have answered crime, and so a third with the same conse(when some flatterers at supper were asking quence. I would fain ask any reasonable man, him what the Romans would do for a general whether this lad, in the simplicity of his native after his death) 'Take Marius.' Marius was innocence, full of shame, and capable of any then a very boy, and had given no instances impression from that grace of soul, was not of his valour; but it was visible to Scipio from the manners of the youth, that he had a soul formed for the attempt and execution of great undertakings. I must confess I have very of ten with much sorrow bewailed the misfortune Seneca says, after his exalted way of talkof the children of Great Britain, when I con-ing, As the immortal gods never learnt any fitter for any purpose in this life, than after that spark of virtue is extinguished in him, though he is able to write twenty verses in an evening? |