My correspondents grow so numerous, that April 26th. SIR, 'Yours of Saturday last I read, not without some resentment; but I will suppose, when you say you expect an inundation of ribands and brocades, and to see many new vanities which the women will fall into upon a peace with France, that you intend only the unthinking part of our sex; and what methods I cannot avoid frequently inserting their ap-can reduce them to reason is hard to imagine. plications to me. MR. SPECTATOR, But, sir, there are others yet, that your instructions might be of great use to, who, after "I am glad I can inform you, that your en- their best endeavours, are sometimes at a loss deavours to adorn that sex, which is the fairest to acquit themselves to a censorious world. I part of the visible creation, are well received, am far from thinking you can altogether disand like to prove not unsuccessful. The tri-approve of conversation between ladies and umph of Daphne over her sister Lætitia has gentlemen, regulated by the rules of honour been the subject of conversation at several and prudence; and have thought it an obsertea-tables where I have been present; and Ivation not ill-made, that where that was wholly have observed the fair circle not a little pleased denied, the women lost their wit, and the men to find you considering them as reasonable their good manners. It is sure, from those creatures, and endeavouring to banish that improper liberties you mentioned, that a sort Mahometan custom, which had too much pre-of undistinguishable people shall banish from vailed even in this island, of treating women their drawing-rooms the best-bred men in the as if they had no souls. I must do them the world, and condemn those that do not. Your justice to say, that there seems to be nothing stating this point might, I think, be of good wanting to the finishing of these lovely pieces use, as well as much oblige, of human nature, besides the turning and applying their ambition properly, and the keeping them up to a sense of what is their true merit. Epictetus, that plain honest philosopher, as little as he had of gallantry, appears to have. No answer to this, till understood them, as well as the polite St. Evre- description of those she mont, and has hit this point very luckily. "When men in the world. young women," says he, arrive at a certain age, they hear themselves called Mistresses, and are made to believe that their only busi'I am a gentleman who for many years last ness is to please the men; they immediately past have been well known to be truly splenebegin to dress, and place all their hopes in the tic, and that my spleen arises from having conadorning of their persons; it is therefore," tracted so great a delicacy, by reading the best continues he, "worth the while to endeavour authors, and keeping the most refined compaby all means to make them sensible that they, that I cannot bear the least impropriety of honour paid to them is only upon account of language, or rusticity of behaviour. Now, sir, their conducting themselves with virtue, mo- I have ever looked upon this as a wise distem desty, and discretion." Sir, 'Your admirer and most humble servant, ANNA BELLA.' MR. SPECTATOR, Anna Bella sends a calls the best-bred per; but by late observations find, that every Now to pursue the matter yet further, and heavy wretch, who has nothing to say, excuses to render your cares for the improvement of his dulness by complaining of the spleen. the fair ones more effectual, I would propose a Nay, I saw the other day, two fellows in a tavnew method, like those applications which are ern kitchen set up for it, call for a pint and said to convey their virtue by sympathy; and pipes, and only by guzzling liquor to each that is, that in order to embellish the mistress, you other's health, and by wafting smoke in each should give a new education to the lover, and other's face, pretend to throw off the spleen. teach the men not to be any longer dazzled by I appeal to you whether these dishonours are false charms and unreal beauty. I cannot but to be done to the distemper of the great and think that if our sex knew always how to place fellows that they have not the spleen because the polite. I beseech you, sir, to inform these their esteem justly, the other would not be so often wanting to themselves in deserving it. they cannot talk without the help of a glass at For as the being enamoured with a woman of their mouths, or convey their meaning to each sense and virtue is an improvement to a man's other without the interposition of clouds. If understanding and morals, and the passion is you will not do this with all speed, I assure ennobled by the object which inspires it; so you, for my part, I will wholly quit the dison the other side, the appearing amiable to a ease, and for the future be merry with the man of a wise and elegant mind, carries in vulgar. itself no small degree of merit and accomplishment. I conclude, therefore, that one way to make the women yet more agreeable is, to make the men more virtuous. SIR, 'I am, Sir, This is to let you understand that I am a reformed Starer, and conceived a detestation for that practice from what you have writ upon the subject. But as you have been very severe upon the behaviour of us men at divine ser-ment with our own presence, where each pervice, I hope you will not be so apparently par-son shall be assessed but at two shillings and tial to the women, as to let them go wholly sixpence. What we expect from you is, that unobserved. If they do every thing that is you publish these our royal intentions, with inpossible to attract our eyes, are we more cul-junction that they be read at all tea-tables withpable than they, for looking at them? I hap-in the cities of London and Westminster; and pened last Sunday to be shut into a pew, which so we bid you heartily farewell. was full of young ladies in the bloom of youth I was able, till one of the young ladies, who is LATINUS King of the Volscians. 'Given at our, court in Vinegar-yard, story from the earth, April 28, 1711.' R. a Peeper, resolved to bring down my looks and No. 54.1 Wednesday, May 2, 1711. -Strenua nos exercet inertia. Hor. Lib. 2. Ep. xi. 25. Laborious idleness our powers employs. THE following letter being the first that have received from the learned university of Cambridge, I could not but do myself the honour of publishing it. It gives an account of a new sect of philosophers which has arose in that famous residence of learning; and is, perhaps, the only sect this age is likely to produce. 6 fix my devotion on herself. You are to know, sir, that a Peeper works with her hands, eyes, and fan; one of which is continually in motion, while she thinks she is not actually the admiration of some ogler or starer in the congregation. As I stood utterly at a loss how to behave myself, surrounded as I was, this Peeper so placed herself as to be kneeling just before me. She displayed the most beautiful bosom imaginable, which heaved and fell with some fervour, while a delicate well-shaped arm held a fan over her face. It was not in nature to command one's eyes from this object. I could not avoid taking notice also of her fan, MR. SPECTATOR. Cambridge, April 26. which had on it various figures very improper 'Believing you to be an universal encourager to behold on that occasion. There lay in the of liberal arts and sciences, and glad of any inbody of the piece a Venus, under a purple formation from the learned world, I thought an canopy furled with curious wreaths of drapery, account of a sect of philosophers, very frequent half naked, attended with a train of Cupids, among us, but not taken notice of, as far as I who were busied in fanning her as she slept. can remember, by any writers, either ancient Behind her was drawn a satyr peeping over the or modern, would not be unacceptable to you. silken fence, and threatening to break through The philosophers of this sect are in the lanit. I frequently offered to turn my sight another guage of our university called loungers, I am way, but was still detained by the fascination of opinion, that, as in many other things, so of the Peeper's eyes, who had long practised likewise in this, the ancients have been defeca skill in them, to recal the parting glances of tive; viz. in mentioning no philosophers of this her beholders. You see my complaint, and sort. Some indeed will affirm that they are a hope you will take these mischievous people, kind of Peripatetics, because we see them conthe Peepers, into your consideration. I doubt not but you will think a Peeper as much more pernicious than a Starer, as an ambuscade is more to be feared than an open assault. 'I am, Sir, 'Your most obedient servant.' This Peeper using both fan and eyes, to be considered as a Pict, and proceed accordingly. tinually walking about. But I would have these gentlemen consider, that though the ancient Peripatetics walked much, yet they wrote much also; witness, to the sorrow of this sect, Aristotle and others; whereas it is notorious that most of our professors never lay out a farthing either in pen, ink, or paper. Others are for deriving them from Diogenes, because several of the leading men of the sect have a great deal of cynical humour in them, and delight much KING LATINUS to the SPECTATOR, greeting. in sunshine. But then, again, Diogenes was Though some may think we descend from content to have his constant habitation in a narour imperial dignity, in holding correspondence row tub, whilst our philosophers are so far with a private litterato; yet as we have great from being of his opinion, that it is death to respect to all good intentions for our survice, them to be confined within the limits of a good we do not esteem it beneath us to return you our handsome convenient chamber but for half an royal thanks for what you published in our be-hour. Others there are who from the clearness half, while under confinement in the enchanted of their heads deduce the pedigree of loungers castle of the Savoy, and for your mention of a from that great man (I think it was either Plasubsidy for a prince in misfortune. This year to or Socrates) who, after all his study and timely zeal has inclined the hearts of divers to learning, professed, that all he then knew was, be aiding unto us, if we could propose the that he knew nothing. You easily see this is means. We have taken their good will into but a shallow argument, and may be soon conconsideration, and have contrived a method which will be easy to those who shall give the aid, and not unacceptable to us who receive it. A concert of music shall be prepared at Haberdasher's-hall, for Wednesday the second of May, and we will honour the said entertain futed. 'I have with great pains and industry made. my observations from time to time upon these sages; and having now all materials ready, am compiling a treatise, wherein I shall set forth the rise and progress of this famous sect, toge ther with their maxims, austerities, manner of time is transferred to his coach and horses, and living, &c. Having prevailed with a friend his life is to be measured by their motion, not who designs shortly to pnblish a new edition of his own enjoyments or sufferings. The chief Diogenes Laertius, to add this treatise of mine entertainment of one of these philosophers can by way of supplement; I shall now, to let the possibly propose to himself, is to get a relish of world see what may be expected from me (first dress. This, methinks might diversify the perbegging Mr. Spectator's leave that the world son he is weary of (his own dear self) to himmay see it) briefly touch upon some of my chief self. I have known these two amusements observations, and then subscribe myself your make one of these philosophers make a very humble servant. In the first place I shall give tolerable figure in the world; with variety of you two or three of their maxims: the funda- dresses in public assemblies in town, and quick mental one, upon which their whole system is motion of his horses out of it, now to Bath, now built, is this, viz. "That Time being an impla- to Tunbridge, then to Newmarket, and then to cable enemy to, and destroyer of all things, London, he has in process of time brought it to ought to be paid in his own coin, and be de-pass, that his coach and his horses have been stroyed and murdered without mercy, by all mentioned in all those places. When the lounthe ways that can be invented." Another fa-gers leave an academic life, and instead of this vourite saying of theirs is, "That business was more elegant way of appearing in the polite only designed for knaves, and study for block-world, retire to the seats of their ancestors, heads." A third seems to be a ludicrous one, they usually join a pack of dogs, and employ but has a great effect upon their lives; and is their days in defending their poultry from foxthis, "That the devil is at home." Now for es: I do not know any other method that any their manner of living: and here I have a large of this order has ever taken to make a noise in field to expatiate in; but I shall reserve parti- the world; but I shall inquire into such about culars for my intended discourse, and now only this town as have arrived at the dignity of bemention one or two of their principal exercises. ing loungers by the force of natural parts, withThe elder proficients employ themselves in in-out having ever seen an university; and send specting mores hominum multorum, in getting my correspondent, for the embellishment of his acquainted with all the signs and windows in the town. Some are arrived to so great knowledge, that they can tell every time any butcher kills a calf, every time an old woman's cat is in the straw; and a thousand other matters as important. One ancient philosopher contemplates two or three hours every day over a sundial; and is true to the dial, -As the dial to the sun, Our younger students are content to carry their 'I am, Sir, yours.' book, the names and history of those who pass their lives without any accident at all; and how they shift coffee-houses and chocolate-houses from hour to hour, to get over the insupportable labour of doing nothing. No. 55.] Thursday, May 3, 1711. R. Pers. Sat. v. 129. Our passions play the tyrants in our breasts. Most of the trades, professions, and ways of living among mankind, take their original either The former, when it becomes too violent, defrom the love of pleasure or the fear of want. generates into luxury, and the latter into avaI must be so just as to observe I have former-rice. As these two principles of action draw ly seen of this sect at our other university; different ways, Persius has given us a very huthough not distinguished by the appellation mourous account of a young fellow who was which the learned historian, my correspondent, roused out of his bed in order to be sent upon a reports they bear at Cambridge. They were ever looked upon as a people that impaired themselves more by their strict application to the rules of their order, than any other students whatever. Others seldom hurt themselves any further than to gain weak eyes, and sometimes headaches; but these philosophers are seized all over with a general inability, indolence, and weariness, and a certain impatience of the place they are in, with an heaviness in removing to another... The loungers are satisfied with being merely part of the number of mankind, without distinguishing themselves from amongst them. They may be said rather to suffer their time to pass, than to spend it, without regard to the past, or prospect of the future. All they know of life is only the present instant, and do not taste even that. When one of this order happens to be a man of fortune, the expense of his long voyage, by Avarice, and afterwards over- 'Mane, piger, stertis: surge, inquit Avaritis; eja Nutrieras, pergant avidos sudare deunces? Sat. v. 132. Whether alone, or in thy harlot's lap, At his command th' unwilling sluggard wakes. With thy own hands, from the tir'd camel's back, "Tis wholesome sin: but Jove, thou say'st, will hear. On a brown George, with lousy swabbers fed; could not forbear throwing my thoughts into a little kind of allegory or fable, with which I shall here present my reader. There were two very powerful tyrants engaged in a perpetual war against each other, the name of the first was Luxury, and of the se|cond Avarice. The aim of each of them was no less than universal monarchy over the hearts of mankind. Luxury had many generals under him, who did him great service, as Pleasure, Mirth, Pomp, and Fashion. Avarice was likewise very strong in his officers, being faithfully served by Hunger, Industry, Care, and Watchfulness: he had likewise a privy-counsellor who was always at his elbow, and whispering something or other in his ear: the name of this privy-counsellor was Poverty. As Avarice conducted himself by the councils of Poverty, his antagonist was entirely guided by the dictates and advice of Plenty, who was his first counsellor and minister of state, that concerted all his measures for him, and never departed out of his sight. While these two great rivals were thus contending for empire, their conquests were very various. Luxury got possession of one heart, and Avarice of another. The father of a family would often range himself under the banners of Avarice, and the son under those of Luxury. The wife and the husband would often declare themselves on the two different parties: nay, the same person would very often side with one in his youth, and revolt to the other in his old age. Indeed the wise men of the world stood neuter; but alas ! their numbers were not considerable. At length. when these two potentates had wearied themselves with waging war upon one another, they agreed upon an interview, at which neither of When a government flourishes in conquests, their counsellors were to be present. It is said and is secure from foreign attacks, it naturally that Luxury began the parley, and after havfalls into all the pleasures of luxury; and as ing represented the endless state of war in these pleasures are very expensive, they put which they were engaged, told his enemy, with those who are addicted to them upon raising a frankness of heart which is natural to him, fresh supplies of money, by all the methods of that he believed they two should be very good rapaciousness and corruption; so that avarice friends, were it not for the instigations of Poand luxury very often become one complicated verty, that pernicious counsellor, who made principle of action, in those whose hearts are an ill use of his ear, and filled him with groundwholly set upon ease, magnificence, and plea- less apprehensions and prejudices. To this The most elegant and correct of all the Avarice replied, that he looked upon Plenty Latin historians observes, that in his time, when (the first minister of his antagonist) to be a the most formidable states of the world were much more destructive counsellor than Poversubdued by the Romans, the republic sunk into those two vices of a quite different nature, lux-ty, for that he was perpetually suggesting pleasures, banishing all the necessary cautions ury and avarice:* and accordingly describes against want, and consequently undermining Cataline as one who coveted the wealth of other those principles on which the government of men, at the same time that he squandered away Avarice was founded. At last, in order to an his own. This observation on the commonwealth, when it was in its height of power and accommodation, they agreed upon this preriches, holds good of all governments that are settled in a state of ease and prosperity. At such times men naturally endeavour to outshine one another in pomp and splendour, and having no fears to alarm them from abroad, indulge themselves in the enjoyment of all the pleasures they can get into their possession; which naturally produces avarice, and an immoderate pursuit after wealth and riches. sure. As I was humouring myself in the speculation of these two great principles of action, I * Alieni appetens, sui profusus.—Sal. liminary; that each of them should immediately dismiss his privy-counsellor. When things other differences were soon accommodated, inwere thus far adjusted towards a peace, all somuch that for the future they resolved to live as good friends and confederates, and to share between them whatever conquest were made on either side. For this reason, we now find Luxury and Avarice taking possession of the tween them. To which I shall only add, that same heart, and dividing the same person besince the discarding of the counsellors abovementioned, Avarice supplies Luxury in the room of Plenty, as Luxury prompts Avarice | hand; but to his infinite surprise grasped in the place of Poverty. C. No. 56.] Friday, May 4, 1711, Felices errore suo →→→→→→ Lucan, i. 454. nothing, and found the supposed stone to be only the apparition of one. If he was disappointed on this side, he was as much pleased on the other when he found the lion, which had seized on his left shoulder, had no power to hurt him, and was only the ghost of that ravenous creature which it appeared to be. He THE Americans believe that all creatures no sooner got rid of his impotent enemy, but have souls, not only men and women, but he marched up to the wood, and after having brutes, vegetables, nay, even the most inani-surveyed it for some time, endeavoured to mate things, as stocks and stones. They be-press into one part of it that was a little thinlieve the same of all the works of art, as of ner than the rest; when again, to his great surknives, boats, looking-glasses; and that as prise, he found the bushes made no resistance, but that he walked through briars and brambles any of these things perish, their souls into go another world, which is inhabited by the ghosts and in short, that the whole wood was nothing with the same ease as through the open air; of men and women. For this reason they always place by the corpse of their dead friend else but a wood of shades. He immediately a bow and arrows, that he may make use of the concluded, that this huge thicket of thorns souls of them in the other world, as he did of and brakes was designed as a kind of fence or their wooden bodies in this. How absurd soever quickset hedge to the ghosts it enclosed; and such an opinion as this may appear, our Euthat probably their soft substances might be ropean philosophers have maintained several torn by these subtle points and prickles, which notions altogether as improbable. Some of were too weak to make any impressions in Plato's followers in particular, when they talk flesh and blood. With this thought he resolv of the world of ideas, entertain us with sub-ed to travel through this intricate wood; when stances and beings no less extravagant and by degrees he felt a gale of perfumes breathing chimerical. Many Aristotelians have likewise upon him, that grew stronger and sweeter in spoken as unintelligibly of their substantial proportion as he advanced. He had not proforms. I shall only instance Alburtus Mag-thorns and briers to end, and gave place to a ceeded much further, when he observed the nus, who, in his dissertation upon the loadstone, observing that fire will destroy its mag-blossoms of the finest scents and colours, that thousand beautiful green trees covered with netic virtues, tells us that he took particular formed a wilderness of sweets, and were a notice of one as it lay glowing amidst an heap kind of lining to those ragged scenes which of burning coals, and that he perceived a cer- he had before passed through. As he was comtain blue vapour to arise from it, which he believed might be the substantial form, that is ing out of this delightful part of the wood, and in our West-Indian phrase, the soul of the entering upon the plains it enclosed, he saw loadstone. several horsemen rushing by him, and a little There is a tradition among the Americans, He had not listened long before he saw the apwhile after he heard the cry of a pack of dogs. that one of their countrymen descended in a vision to the great repository of souls, or, as parition of a milk-white steed, with a young man on the back of it, advancing upon full we call it here, to the other world; and that upon his return he gave his friends a distinct stretch after the souls of about a hundred beaaccount of every thing he saw among thosegles, that were hunting down the ghost of a regions of the dead. A friend of mine, whom hare, which ran away before them with an unI have formerly mentioned, prevailed upon one speakable swiftness. of the interpreters of the Indian kings, to in-white steed came by him, he looked upon him quire of them, if possible, what tradition they very attentively, and found him to be the young prince Nicharagua, who died about half a year have among them of this matter: which, as well as he could learn by many questions which before, and by reason of his great virtues, was he asked them at several times, was in sub- at that time lamented over all the western parts stance as follows: of America. As the man on the milk he was entertained with such a landscape of He had no sooner got out of the wood, but owery plains, green meadows, running streams, sunny hills, and shady vales, as were not to be represented by his own expressions, This happy region was peopled with innume nor, as he said, by the conceptions of others. rable swarms of spirits, who applied themselves to exercises and diversions, according The visionary, whose name was Marraton, after having travelled' for a long space under an hollow mountain, arrived at length on the confines of this world of spirits, but could not enter it by reason of a thick forest made up of bushes, brambles, and pointed thorns, so perplexed and interwoven with one another, that it was impossible to find a passage through it. Whilst he was looking about for some track or as their fancies led them. Some of them were pathway that might be worn in any part of it, he saw a huge lion couched under the side of tossing the figure of a coit; others were pitchit, who kept his eye upon him in the same pos- the apparition of a horse; and multitudes eming the shadow of a bar; others were breaking ture as when he watches for his prey. The Indian immediately started back, whilst the lion rose with a spring, and leaped towards him, Being wholly destitute of all other weapons, he stooped down to take up a huge stone in his VOL. I. ploying themselves upon ingenious handicrafts with the souls of departed utensils, for that is the name which in the Indian language they give their tools when they are burnt or broken. 10 |