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Blithe, This is infufferable; I'm vex'd at the old fellow's im pertinence.[Afide.]

Hunks. The world has got to a ftrange pass, a very ftrange pafs indeed; there's no diftinguifhing a poor man from a rich one, but only by his extravagant drefs and fupercilious beha

vior.

Blithe. I abhor to fee a man all mouth and no ears.

Hunks. All mouth and no cars! Do you mean to infult me to my face?

Blithe. I ask your pardon, Sir; but I've been talking to you this hour, and you have paid me no attention.

Hunks. Well, and what is this mighty affair upon which you want my opinion?

Blithe. It is fomething you have paid very little attention to, it feems; I'm willing to be heard in my turn as well as you. I was telling you that my fon had entered into a treaty of marriage with your eldest daughter, and I defire your confent in

the matter.

Hunks. A treaty of marriage! Why didn't fhe afk my lib. erty before fhe attempted any fuch thing? A treaty of marriage! I won't hear a word of it.

Blithe. The young couple are very fond of each other, and may perhaps be ruin'd if you cross their inclination.

Hunks. Then let them be ruin'd. I'll have my daughter to know the fhall make no treaties without my confent.

Blithe. She's of the fame mind, that's what he wants now. Hunks. But you fay the treaty's already made; however I'll make it over again.

Blithe. Well, Sir, the ftronger the better.

Hunks. But I mean to make it void.

Blithe. I want no trifling in the matter; the fubject is not of a trifling nature. I expect you will give me a direct answer one way or the other.

Hunks. If that's what you defire, I can tell you at once; I have two very ftrong objections against the propofal; one is I diflike your fon; and the other is, I have determined

other match for my daughter.

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Blithe. Why do you diflike my fon, pray?

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Hunks. Oh, he's like the reft of mankind, running on in this extravagant way of living. My eftate was earned too hard to be tried away in fuch a manner.

Blithe. Extravagant! I am fure he's very far from deferving that character. Tis true, he appears genteel and fashionable

among people, but he's in good bufinefs, and above board, and that's fufficient for any man.

Hunks. 'Tis fashionable, I fuppofe, to powder and curl at the barber's an hour or two, before he vifits his mistress; to pay fix pence or eight pence for brushing his boots; to drink a glass of wine at every tavern; to dine upon fowls drest in the richest manner; and he muft dirty two or three ruffled fhirts in the journey. This is your genteel fashionable way, is it. Bithe. Indeed, Sir, it is a matter of importance to appear decently at fuch a time if ever. Would you have him go 28 you used to do, upon the fame bufinefs, drefs'd in a long ill fhapen coat, a greafy pair of breeches, and a flap'd hat; with your oats, in one fide of your faddle-bags, and your dinner in the other? This would make an odd appearance in the prefent age.

Hunks. A fig for the appearance, fo long as I gain'd my point, and fav'd my money, and confequently my credit. The coat you mention is the fame I have on now. 'Tis not fo ve. ry long as you would reprefent it to be-Meafuring the skirts by one leg.] See it comes but juft below the calf. This is the coat that my father was married in, and I after him. It has beca in the fafhion five times fince it was new, and never was altered, and 'tis a pretty good coat yet.

Blithe. You've a wonderful faculty of faving your money and credit, and keeping in the fashion at the fame time. I fup. pofe you mean by faving your credit, that money and credit are infeparably connected.

Hunks. Yes, that they are; he that has one, need not fear the lofs of the other. For this reason, I can't confent to your fon's propofal; he's too much of a spendthrift to merit my approbation.

Blithe. If you call him a fpendthrift for his generofity, I de fire he may never merit your approbation. A reputation that's gained by faving money in the manner you have mentioned, is at beft but a despicable character.

Hunks. Do you mean to call my character despicable ?

Blithe. We won't quarrel about the name, fince you are so well contented with the thing.

Hunks. You're welcome to your opinion; I would not give a fiddlestick's end for your good or ill will; my ideas of repu tation are entirely different from your's, or your fon's, which are juft the fame; for I find you justify him in all his conduct. But as I have determined upon another match for my daughter, I shan't trouble myself about his behavior.

Blithe. But perhaps your propofed match will be equally difagreeable.

Hunks. No, I've no apprehenfion of that. He's a person of a fine genius and an excellent character.

Blithe. Sir, I defire to know who this perfon is that is fuch a genius and character, and is fo agreeable to your tafte.

Hunks. 'Tis my young coufin Griffin. He's heir to a great eftate you know. He difcovered a furprifing genius almost as foon as he was born. When he was a very child, he made him a box, with one fmall hole in it, into which he could but juft crowd his money, and could not get it out again without breaking his box; by which means he made a continual addi. tion till he filled it, and

Blithe. Enough! enough! I've a fufficient idea of his char after, without hearing another word. But are you fure you fhall obtain this excellent match for your daughter?

Hunks. Oh, I'm certain on't, I affure you, and my utmost wifhes are gratified with the prospect. He has a large patrimony lying between two excellent farms of mine; which are at leaft worth two thousand pounds. Thefe I've given to my daughter; and have ordered her uncle to take the deeds into his own hands, and deliver them to her on the day of her mar riage.

Blithe. Then it feems you've almoft accomplished the bufiBut have you got the confent of the young gentleman in the affair.

nefs.

Hunks. His confent! what need I care about his confent, fo long as I've his father's, that's fufficient for my purpose.

Blithe. Then you intend to force the young people, to mar ry, if they are unwilling?

Hunks. Thofe two thousand pounds will foon give them a difpofition, I'll warrant you.

Blithe. Your fchemes, I confefs, are artfully concerted. But I must tell you for your mortification, that the young gentleman is already married.

Hunks. What do you fay! already married? It can't be ! I don't believe a syllable on't.

Blithe. Every fyllable is true! whether you believe it or not; I recevied a letter this day from his father; if you wont believe me you my read it. Gives him the letter.) There's the account in the poftfcript. (Points to it.)

Hunks.(reads) I had almost forgot to tell you, that laft Thursday my fon was married to Mifs Clarry Brentford, and that all partie

are very happy in the connexion. Confufion! (Throws down the letter.) What does this mean? Married to Clarry Brentford! This is exactly one of coufin Tom's villainous tricks. He prom ifed me that his fon fhould marry my daughter, upon condition that I would give her thofe two farms; but I can't imagine from what ftupid motive he has altered his mind.

Blithe. Difappointment is the common lot of all men, even our fureft expectations are fubject to misfortune.

Hunks. Difappointment! this comes from a quarter from which I leaft expected one. But there's the deeds, I'll take care to fecure them again; 'tis a good hit that 1 did not give them to the young rogue beforehand,

Blithe. That was well thought of; you keep a good look out, I fee, tho you cannot avoid fome disappointments. I fee nothing in the way now, to hinder my fon's proceeding; you will eafily grant your confent now you're cut off from your former expectations.

Hunks. I can't fee into this crooked affair-I'm heartily vex'd at it. What could induce that old villain to deceive me in this manner. I fear this was fome scheme of my daughter's to prevent the effect of my defign. If this is her planif fhe fets fo light by two thousand pounds, fhe shall foon know what it is to want it, I'll promife her.

Blithe. If you had bestowed your gift without croffing her inclination, fhe would have accepted it very thankfully,

Hunks. O, I don't doubt it in the leaft; that would have been a pretty ftory indeed! but fince the infifts upon grati fying a foolish fancy, fhe, may follow her own inclination, and take the confequences of it; I'll keep the favors I meant to bestow on her, for thofe that know how to prize them, and that merit them by a becoming gratitude,

Blithe. But you won't reject her, deftitute of a patrimony and a father's bleffing?

Hunks. Not one farthing fhall fhe ever receive from my hand. Your fon may take her, but her perfon is barely all that I'll give him; he has feduced her to difobey her father and he fhall feel the effects of it.

Blithe. You're fomewhat ruffled, I perceive, but I hope you'll recall these rash resolutions in your cooler moments. Hunks. No never, I give you my word, and that's as fixed as the laws of the Medes and Perfians.

Blithe. But look ye, Sir, here's another circumftance to be attended to; my fon has the deeds already in his own hands,

Hunks. Deeds! what deeds! thofe I gave to my brother? Blithe. Yes, the very fame.

Hunks. What a compofition of villany and witchcraft is here? What my deeds given up to your fon?

Blithe. Yes your brother thought that my fon had an un doubted title to them now, fince his coufin was married, and fo the next day.

he gave

them up Hunks. This is intolerable! I could tear the fcalp from my old brainless fcull; why had I not more wit than to trust them with him? I'm cheated every way! I can't trust a farthing with the best friend 1 have on earth.

Blithe. That is very true, 'tis no wonder you can't trust your best friend. The truth of the cafe is, you have no friend, not can you expect any, fo long as you make an idol of yourself, and feaft your fordid avaricious appetite upon the misfortunes of mankind. You take every poffible advantage by the present calamities, to gratify your own felfifh difpofition. So long as this is the cafe, depend upon it you will be an object of univer fal deteftation. There is no one on earth that would not rejoice to fee how you're brot in. Your daughter now has got a good inheritance, and an agreeable partner, which you were in duty bound to grant her; but instead of that, you were then. doing your utmoft to deprive her of every enjoyment in life, [Hunks puts his hand to his breaft.] I don't wonder your confcience fmites you for your villany. Don't you fee how juftly you have been cheated into your duty?

Hunks. I'll go this moment to an attorney, and get a war. rant; I'll put the villain in jail before an hour is at an end. Oh, my deeds! my farms! what fhall I do for my farms!

Blithe. Give yourself no farther trouble about them, there's no evidence in the cafe; you must be feasible therefore, an ac tion can't lie. I would advise you to reft contented, and learn from difappointments, not to place fuch an exhorbitant value upon wealth. In the mean time I fhould be very glad of your company at the wedding. My fon and his wife would be very happy to fee you.

Hunks. The dragon fly away with you, and your fon, and your fon's wife. O! my farms! what fhall I do for my farms!

Bev.

BEVIL and MYRTLE.

IR, I am extremely obliged to you for this honor.
Myrt. The time, the place, our long acquaintance

R

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