changeable and a mortal faculty. But however, do not think thou didst contract alliance with an angel, when thou didst take thy friend into thy bosom; he may be weak as well as thou art, and thou mayest need pardon as well as he; and that man loves flattery more than friendship, who would not only have his friend, but all the contingencies of his friend, to humour him. Μή ποτ' ἐπὶ σμικρᾷ προφάσει φίλον ἄνδρ ̓ ἀπολέσσης, Πειθόμενος χαλεπῇ, Κύρνε, διαβολίῃ. Εἴτις ἁμαρτωλῇσι φίλων ἐπὶ πάντι χολῷτο, Οὐ ποτ ̓ ἂν ἀλλήλοις ἄρθμιοι, οὐδὲ φίλοι. Theog. 325. Gaisford, p. 229. 5. Give thy friend counsel wisely and charitably, but leave him to his liberty whether he will follow thee or no: and be not angry if thy counsel be rejected: for advice is no empire, and he is not my friend that will be my judge whether I will or no. Neoptolemus had never been honoured with the victory and spoils of Troy, if he had attended to the tears and counsel of Lycomedes, who being afraid to venture the young man, fain would have had him sleep at home safe in his little island. He that gives advice to his friend and exacts obedience to it, does not the kindness and ingenuity of a friend, but the office and pertness of a schoolmaster. 6. Never be a judge between thy friends in any matter where both set their hearts upon the victory: if strangers or enemies be litigants, whatever side thou favourest, thou gettest a friend; but when friends are the parties thou losest one. 7. Never comport thyself so, as that my friend can be afraid of thee: for then the state of the relation alters when a new and troublesome passion supervenes. "Oderunt quos metuunt."" Perfect love casteth out fear;" and no man is friend to a tyrant; but that friendship is tyranny where the love is changed into fear, equality into empire, society into obedience; for then all my kindness to him also will be no better than flattery. 8. When you admonish your friend, let it be without bitterness; when you chide him, let it be without reproach; when you praise him, let it be with worthy purposes, and for just causes, and in friendly measures; too much of that is flattery, too little is envy if you do it justly, you teach him true measures; but when others praise him, rejoice, though they praise not thee, and remember that if thou esteemest his praise to be thy disparagement, thou art envious, but neither just nor kind. 9. When all things else are equal, prefer an old friend before a new. If thou meanest to spend thy friend, and make gain of him till he be weary, thou wilt esteem him as a beast of burden, the worse for his age: but if thou esteemest him by noble measures, he will be better to thee by thy being used to him, by trial and experience, by reciprocation of endearments, and an habitual worthiness. An old friend is like old wine, which when a man hath drunk, he doth not desire new, because he saith" the old is better." But every old friend was new once; and if he be worthy, keep the new one till he become old. 10. After all this, treat thy friend nobly, love to be with him, do to him all the worthinesses of love and fair endearment, according to thy capacity and his; bear with his infirmities till they approach towards being criminal; but never dissemble with him, never despise him, never leave him. Give him gifts and upbraid him not, and refuse not his kindnesses, and be sure never to despise the smallness or the impropriety of them. "Confirmatur amor beneficio accepto:" "A gift (saith Solomon) fasteneth friendships. For as an eye that dwells long upon a star, must be refreshed with lesser beauties and strengthened with greens and looking-glasses, lest the sight become amazed with too great a splendour; so must the love of friends sometimes be refreshed with material and low caresses; lest by striving to be too divine it become less human: it must be allowed its share of both it is human in giving pardon and fair construction, and openness and ingenuity, and keeping secrets; it hath something that is divine, because it is beneficent; but much because it is eternal. y Extra fortunam est, quicquid donatur amicis; Quas dederis, solas semper habebis opes.-Mart. lib. 5. ep. 43. Quis largitur opes veteri, fidóque sodali?-Ep. 19. Huic operi: si vis ut loquar, ipse tace. MADAM, POSTSCRIPT. IF you shall think it fit that these papers pass further than your own eye and closet, I desire they may be consigned into the hands of my worthy friend Dr. Wedderburne: for I do not only expose all my sickness to his cure, but I submit my weaknesses to his censure; being as confident to find of him charity for what is pardonable, as remedy for what is curable but indeed, Madam, I look upon that worthy man as an idea of friendship; and if I had no other notices of friendship or conversation to instruct me than his, it were sufficient for whatsoever I can say of friendship, I can say of his; and as all that know him reckon him amongst the best physicians, so I know him worthy to be reckoned amongst the best friends. : |