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miliar spirit that did not think him worthy | being really so? Come to us; forget the to receive the whole story. But in truth gigglers; let your inclination go along with whisperers deal only in half accounts of you, whether you speak or are silent; and what they entertain you with. A great help let all such women as are in a clan or sisto their discourse is, "That the town says, terhood go their own way; there is no room and people begin to talk very freely, and for you in that company who are of the they had it from persons too considerable common taste of the sex. to be named, what they will tell you when things are riper.' My friend has winked upon me any day since I came to town last, and has communicated to me as a secret, that he designed in a very short time to tell me a secret; but I shall know what he means, he now assures me, in less than a No. 149.] Tuesday, August 21, 1711. fortnight's time.

'For women born to be controll'd
Stoop to the forward and the bold;
Affect the haughty and the proud,
the frolic, and the loud."*


Cui ut manu sit quein esse dementem velit,
Quem sapere, quem sanari, quem in morbum injici,
Quem contra amari, quem accersiri, quem expeti.
Cacil. apud Tull.

Who has it in her pow'r to make men mad,
Or wise, or sick, or well: and who can choose
The object of her appetite at pleasure.

THE following letter, and my answer, shall take up the present speculation.


But I must not omit the dearer part of mankind, I mean the ladies, to take up a whole paper upon grievances which concern the men only; but shall humbly propose, that we change fools for an experiment only. A certain set of ladies complain they are frequently perplexed with a visitant, who affects to be wiser than they are; which character he hopes to preserve 'MR. SPECTATOR,-I am the young by an obstinate gravity, and great guard widow of a country gentleman, who has against discovering his opinion upon any left me entire mistress of a large fortune, Occasion whatsoever. A painful silence which he agreed to as an equivalent for the has hitherto gained him no farther advan- difference in our years. In these circumtage, than that as he might, if he had be- stances it is not extraordinary to have a haved himself with freedom, been excepted crowd of admirers; which I have abridged against, but as to this and that particular, in my own thoughts, and reduced to a ccuhe now offends in the whole. To relieve ple of candidates only, both young, these ladies, my good friends and corre-neither of them disagrecable in their per spondents, I shall exchange my dancing sons: according to the common way of outlaw for their dumb visitant, and assign computing, in one the estate more than de the silent gentleman all the haunts of the serves my fortune, in the other my fortune dancer; in order to which, I have sent more than deserves the estate. When I them by the penny-post the following let- consider the first, I own I am so far a ters for their conduct in their new conver-woman I cannot avoid being delighted with the thoughts of living great; but then he seems to receive such a degree of courage looks as if he was going to confer an obliga from the knowledge of what he has, he tion on me; and the readiness he accosts me with, makes me jealous I am only hear ing a repetition of the same things he has said to a hundred women before. When D consider the other, I see myself approached with so much modesty and respect, and such a doubt of himself, as betrays, me thinks, an affection within, and a belief a the same time that he himself would be unexceptionable husband could I make ou the only gainer by my consent. What ar of both! but since that is impossible, I beg to be concluded by your opinion. It is absolutely in your power to dispose of, your SYLVÍA.'


SIR,-I have, you may be sure, heard of your irregularities without regard to my observations upon you; but shall not treat you with so much rigour as you deserve. If you will give yourself the trouble to repair to the place mentioned in the postscript to this letter, at seven this evening, you will be conducted into a spacious room, welllighted, where there are ladies and music. You will see a young lady laughing next the window to the street; you may take her out, for she loves you as well as she does any man, though she never saw you before. She never thought in her life, any more than yourself. She will not be surprised when you accost her, nor concerned when you leave her. Hasten from a place where you are laughed at, to one where you will be admired. You are of no consequence, therefore go where you will be welcome for being so. Your humble servant.'

SIR,-The ladies whom you visit, think a wise man the most impertinent creature living, therefore you cannot be offended that they are displeased with you. Why will you take pains to appear wise, where you would not be the more esteemed for

most obedient servant,

'MADAM,-You do me great honour in your application to me on this important occasion; I shall therefore talk to you with the tenderness of a father, in gratitude for your giving me the authority of one. You between these gentlemen as to their per do not seem to make any great distinction circumstances and behaviour. If the on sons; the whole question lies upon thei

* Waller.

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s less respectful because he is rich, and The other more obsequious because he is ot so, they are in that point moved by the ame principle, the consideration of forune, and you must place them in each ther's circumstances before you can judge f their inclination. To avoid confusion in iscussing this point, I will call the richer nan Strephon, and the other Florio. If ou believe Florio with Strephon's estate would behave himself as he does now, Florio is certainly your man; but if you hink Strephon were he in Florio's condion, would be as obsequious as Florio is ow, you ought for your own sake to choose Strephon; for where the men are equal, There is no doubt riches ought to be a reaon for preference. After this manner, my ear child, I would have you abstract them From their circumstances; for you are to ake it for granted, that he who is very humble only because he is poor, is the ery same man in nature, with him who is naughty because he is rich.

When you have gone thus far, as to Consider the figure they make towards you; you will please, my dear, next to consider the appearance you make towards them. If they are men of discerning, they an observe the motives of your heart: and Florio can see when he is disregarded only pon account of fortune, which makes you to him a mercenary creature; and you are still the same thing to Strephon, in taking him for his wealth only; you are therefore to consider whether you had rather oblige, than receive an obligation.

other's person and conduct. In company
they are in a purgatory, when only together
in a hell.

"The happy marriage is where two per-
sons meet and voluntarily make choice of
each other, without principally regarding
or neglecting the circumstances of fortune
or beauty. These may still love in spite
of adversity or sickness: the former we
may in some measure defend ourselves
from, the other is the portion of our very
make. When you have a true notion of
this sort of passion, your humour of living
great will vanish out of your imagination,
and you will find love has nothing to do
with state. Solitude, with the person be-
loved, has a pleasure, even in a woman's
mind, beyond show or pomp. You are
therefore to consider which of your lovers
will like you best undressed, which will
bear with you most when out of humour;
and your way to this is to ask of yourself,
which of them you value most for his own
sake? and by that judge which gives the
greater instances of his valuing you for
yourself only.

After you have expressed some sense of the humble approach of Florio, and a little disdain at Strephon's assurance in his address, you cry out, What an unexceptionable husband could I make out of both!' It would therefore, methinks, be a good way to determine yourself. Take him in whom what you like is not transferable to another; for if you choose otherwise, there is no hope your husband will ever have what you liked in his rival; but intrinsic qualiThe marriage-life is always an insipid, ties in one man may very probably purvexatious, or a happy condition. The first chase every thing that is adventitious in s, when two people of no genius or taste another. In plainer terms: he whom you for themselves meet together upon, such a take for his personal perfections will sooner settlement as has been thought reasonable arrive at the gifts of fortune, than he whom by parents and conveyancers, from an ex-you take for the sake of his fortune, atact valuation of the land and cash of both tain to personal perfections. If Strephon parties. In this case the young lady's per- is not as accomplished and agreeable as regarded, than the house Florio, marriage to you will never make and improvements in purchase of an estate: him so: but marriage to you may make but she goes with her fortune, rather than Florio as rich as Strephon. Therefore to her fortune with her. These make up the make a sure purchase, employ fortune crowd or vulgar of the rich, and fill up the upon certainties, but do not sacrifice cerumber of human race, without beneficence tainties to fortune. I am, your most obetowards those below them, or respect to- dient, humble servant." wards those above them; and lead a despi

son is no more

cable, independent, and useless life, without |


sense of the laws of kindness, good-nature, No. 150.] Wednesday, August 18, 1711.

Nil habet infelix paupertas durius in se,
Quam quod ridiculos homines facit.-

mutual offices, and the elegant satisfactions
which flow from reason and virtue.
'The vexatious life arises from a con-
Juv. Sat. iii. 152.
junction of two people of quick taste and
Want is the scorn of every wealthy fool,
resentment, put together for reasons well
And wit in rags is turn'd to ridicule.-Dryden.
known to their friends, in which special | As I was walking in my chamber the
care is taken to avoid (what they think the morning before I went last into the coun-
riches, with every evil besides.
chief of evils) poverty, and ensure to them try, I heard the hawkers with great vehe-
These mence crying about a paper, entitled, The
good Ninety-nine Plagues of an Empty Purse.
alone. When they are within observation that the orators of Grub-street had dealt
efore company, and too great familiarity I had indeed sometime before observed,
behaviour; when alone they revile each ready published in the same month, The

Plagues of Matrimony, The Plagues of a part of their character, while they are Single Life, The Nineteen Plagues of a endeavouring to establish another. Chambermaid, The Plagues of a Coach- Yet however unaccountable this foolish man, The Plagues of a Footman, and The custom is, I am afraid it could plead a long Plague of Plagues. The success these prescription; and probably gave too much several plagues met with, probably gave occasion for the vulgar definition still reoccasion to the above-mentioned poem on an maining among us of a heathen philosoempty purse. However that be, the same pher.

noise so frequently repeated under my win- I have seen the speech of a Terræ-filius, dow, drew me insensibly to think on some spoken in King Charles the Second's of those inconveniences and mortifications reign; in which he describes two very emiwhich usually attend on poverty, and, in nent men, who were perhaps the greatest short, gave birth to the present specula- scholars of their age; and after having tion: for after my fancy had run over the mentioned the entire friendship between most obvious and common calamities which them, concludes, that they had but one men of mean fortunes are liable to, it de- mind, one purse, one chamber, and one scended to those little insults and con- hat.' The men of business were also intempts, which though they may seem to fected with a sort of singularity little better dwindle into nothing when a man offers to than this. I have heard my father say, describe them, are perhaps in themselves that a broad-brimmed hat, short hair, and more cutting and insupportable than the unfolded handkerchief, were in his time former. Juvenal with a great deal of hu- absolutely necessary to denote a notable mour and reason tells us, that nothing bore man;' and that he had known two or three, harder upon a poor man in his time than who aspired to the character of a 'very the continual ridicule which his habit and notable,' wear shoe-strings with great sucdress afforded to the beaux of Rome:

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Want is the scorn of ev'ry wealthy fool,
And wit in rags is turn'd to ridicule.-Dryden.


To the honour of our present age it must be allowed, that some of our greatest ge niuses for wit and business have almost entirely broke the neck of these absurdities.

Victor, after having despatched the most important affairs of the commonwealth, has appeared at an assembly, where all the ladies have declared him the genteelest man in the company; and in Atticus, though every way one of the greatest geniuses the age has produced, one sees nothing particu pretensions to wit and learning: lar in his dress or carriage to denote his present a man may venture to cock up his hat, and wear a fashionable wig, being taken for a rake or a fool.


so that at


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I shall conclude this paper with an ad

venture which I was myself an
of very lately.


The medium between a fop and a sloven It must be confessed that few things is what a man of sense would endeavour to make a man appear more despicable, or keep; yet I remember Mr. Osborn advises more prejudice his hearers against what his son to appear in his habit rather above he is going to offer, than an awkward or than below his fortune; and tells him that pitiful dress: insomuch that I fancy, had he will find a handsome suit of clothes al Tully himself pronounced one of his ora- ways procures some additional respect tions with a blanket about his shoulders, I have indeed myself observed, that my more people would have laughed at his banker ever bows lowest to me when I wear dress than have admired his eloquence. my full-bottomed wig; and writes me Mr. This last reflection made me wonder at a or Esq.' according as he sees me dressed. set of men, who without being subjected to it by the unkindness of their fortunes, are contented to draw upon themselves the ridicule of the world in this particular. I I happened the other day to call in at a mean such as take it into their heads, that celebrated coffee-house near the Temple. the first regular step to be a wit is to com- I had not been there long when there came mence a sloven. It is certain nothing has in an elderly man very meanly dressed, and so much debased that, which must have sat down by me; he had a thread-bare been otherwise so great a character; and I loose coat on, which it was plain he wore know not how to account for it, unless it to keep himself warm, and not to favour may possibly be complaisance to those nar- his under suit, which seemed to have been row minds who can have no notion, of the at least its contemporary: his short wig and same persons possessing different accom-hat were both answerable to the rest of his plishments; or that it is a sort of sacrifice which some men are contented to make to calumny, by allowing it to fasten on one sec. 23.

Advice to a Son, by Francis Osborn, Esq. Part 1

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apparel. He was no sooner seated than he
called for a dish of tea; but as several gen-
tlemen in the room wanted other things,
the boys of the house did not think them-
selves at leisure to mind him. I could ob-
serve the old fellow was very uneasy at the
affront, and at his being obliged to repeat
his commands several times to no purpose;
until at last one of the lads presented him
with some stale tea in a broken dish, ac-
companied with a plate of brown sugar;
which so raised his indignation, that after
several obliging appellations of dog and
rascal, he asked him aloud before the whole
company, 'Why he must be used with less
respect than that fop there?' pointing to a
well-dressed young gentleman who was
drinking tea at the opposite table. The
boy of the house replied with a good deal
of pertness, that his master had two sorts
of customers, and that the gentleman at the
other table had given him many a sixpence
for wiping his shoes. By this time the
young Templar, who found his honour con-
cerned in the dispute, and that the eyes of
the whole coffee-house were upon him, had
thrown aside a paper he had in his hand,
and was coming towards us, while we at
the table made what haste we could to get Pleasure, when it is a man's chief pur-
away from the impending quarrel, but were pose, disappoints itself; and the constant
all of us surprised to see him as he ap- application to it palls the faculty of enjoy-
proached nearer to put on an air of defer- ing it, though it leaves the sense of our ina-
ence and respect. To whom the old man bility for that we wish, with a disrelish of
said, 'Hark you, sirrah, I will pay off your every thing else. Thus the intermediate
extravagant bills once more, but will take seasons of the man of pleasure are more
effectual care for the future, that your pro- heavy than one would impose upon the
digality shall not spirit up a parcel of ras-vilest criminal. Take him when he is
cals to insult your father.'
awaked too soon after a debauch, or disap-
Though I by no means approve either pointed in following a worthless woman
the impudence of the servants or the extra-without truth, and there is no man living
vagance of the son, I cannot but think the whose being is such a weight or vexation
old gentleman was in some measure justly as his is. He is an utter stranger to the
served for walking in masquerade, I mean pleasing reflections in the evening of a well-
appearing in a dress so much beneath his spent day, or the gladness of heart or quick-
quality and estate.
X. ness of spirit in the morning after profound
sleep or indolent slumbers. He is not to be
at ease any longer than he can keep reason
and good sense without his curtains; other-
wise he will be haunted with the reflection,
that he could not believe such a one the
woman that upon trial he found her. What
has he got by his conquest, but to think
meanly of her for whom a day or two be-
fore he had the highest honour? And of
himself for perhaps wronging the man
whom of all men living he himself would
least willingly have injured?

liveliness, who would converse with you,
receive kind offices of you, and at the same
time debauch your sister, or lie with your
wife. According to his description, a man
of wit, when he could have wenches for
crowns a-piece which he liked quite as
well, would be so extravagant as to bribe
servants, make false friendships, fight rela-
tions: I say, according to him, plain and
simple vice was too little for a man of wit
and pleasure; but he would leave an easy
and accessible wickedness, to come at the
same thing with only the addition of certain
falsehood and possible murder. Will thinks
the town grown very dull, in that we do not
hear so much as we used to do of those cox-
combs, whom, (without observing it,) he
describes as the most infamous rogues in
nature, with relation to friendship, love, or

When pleasure is made the chief pursuit
of life, it will necessarily follow that such
monsters as these will arise from a con-
stant application to such blandishments as
naturally root out the force of reason and
reflection, and substitute in their place a
general impatience of thought, and a con-
stant pruriency of inordinate desire.

No. 151] Thursday, August 23, 1711.
Maximas virtutes jacere omnes necesse est voluptate


Tull. de Fin.

Where pleasure prevails, all the greatest virtues will

lose their power.

I KNOW no one character that gives reason a greater shock, at the same time that it presents a good ridiculous image to the imagination, than that of a man of wit and pleasure about the town. This description of a man of fashion, spoken by some with a mixture of scorn and ridicule, by others with great gravity as a laudable distinction, is in every body's mouth that spends any time in conversation.

Pleasure seizes the whole man who ad

dicts himself to it, and will not give him leisure for any good office in life which contradicts the gaiety of the present hour. You may indeed observe in people of pleaMy friend Will sure a certain complacency and absence of Honeycomb has this expression very fre- all severity, which the habit of a loose unquently; and I never could understand by concerned life gives them; but tell the man the story which follows, upon his mention of pleasure your secret wants, cares, or of such a one, but that his man of wit and sorrows, and you will find that he has given pleasure was either a drunkard, too old for up the delicacy of his passions to the cravwenching, or a young lewd fellow with some ings of his appetite. He little knows the

perfect joy he loses, for the disappointing | such a time, unmercifully calumnious gratifications which he pursues. He looks such a time; and from the whole course of at Pleasure as she approaches, and comes his applauded satisfactions, unable in the to him with the recommendation of warm end to recollect any circumstance which wishes, gay looks, and graceful motion; can add to the enjoyment of his own mind but he does not observe how she leaves his alone, or which he would put his character presence with disorder, impotence, down- upon, with other men. Thus it is with cast shame, and conscious imperfection. those who are best made for becoming She makes our youth inglorious, our age pleasures; but how monstrous is it in the shameful. generality of mankind who pretend this Will Honeycomb gives us twenty intima- way, without genius or inclination towards tions in an evening of several hags whose it! The scene then is wild to an extravabloom was given up to his arms; and would gance: this is, as if fools should mimic madraise a value to himself for having had, as men. Pleasure of this kind is the intemthe phrase is, 'very good women. Will's perate meals and loud jollities of the comgood women are the comfort of his heart, mon rate of country gentlemen, whose and support him, I warrant, by the memory practice and way of enjoyment is to put an of past interviews with persons of their con-end as fast as they can to that little particle dition. No, there is not in the world an of reason they have when they are sober. occasion wherein vice makes so fantastical These men of wit and pleasure despatch a figure, as at the meeting of two old people their senses as fast as possible by drinking who have been partners in unwarrantable until they cannot taste, smoking until they pleasure. To tell a toothless old lady cannot see, and roaring until they cannot that she once had a good set, or a defunct hear. wencher that he once was the admired thing of the town, are satire instead of applauses; but on the other side, consider the No. 152.] Friday, August 24, 1711. old age of those who have passed their days in labour, industry, and virtue, their decays make them but appear the more venerable, and the imperfections of their bodies are beheld as a misfortune to human society that their make is so little durable.

But to return more directly to my man of wit and pleasure. In all orders of men, wherever this is the chief character, the person who wears it is a negligent friend, father, and husband, and entails poverty on his unhappy descendants. Mortgages, diseases, and settlements, are the legacies a man of wit and pleasure leaves to his family. All the poor rogues that make such lamentable speeches after every sessions at Tyburn, were, in their way, men of wit and pleasure before they fell into the adventures which brought them thither.

Irresolution and procrastination in all a man's affairs, are the natural effects of being addicted to pleasure. Dishonour to the gentleman and bankruptcy to the trader, are the portion of either whose chief purpose of life is delight. The chief cause that this pursuit has been in all ages received with so much quarter from the soberer part of mankind, has been that some men of great talents have sacrificed themselves to it. The shining qualities of such people have given a beauty to whatever they were engaged in, and a mixture of wit has recommended madness. For let any man who knows what it is to have passed much time in a series of jollity, mirth, wit, or humorous entertainments, look back at what he was all that while a doing, and he will find that he has been at one instant sharp to some man he is sorry to have of fended, impertinent to some one it was cruelty to treat with such freedom, ungracefully noisy at such a time, unskilfully open at


Οι η περ φύλλων γενεη, τοιηδε και ανδρων.
Hom. n. vi. 146.
Like leaves on trees the race of man is found.


THERE is no sort of people whose conversation is so pleasant as that of military men, who derive their courage and mag nanimity from thought and reflection. The many adventures which attend their way of life, makes their conversation so full of incidents, and gives them so frank an air in speaking of what they have been witnesses of, that no company can be more amiable than that of men of sense who are soldiers There is a certain irregular way in thei narrations or discourse, which has some thing more warm and pleasing than w meet among men who are used to adjus and methodise their thoughts.

I was this evening walking in the field with my friend Captain Sentry, and I coul not, from the many relations which I dre him into, of what passed when he was the service, forbear expressing my wonder that the 'fear of death,' which we, the re of mankind, arm ourselves against with much contemplation, reason, and philos phy, should appear so little in camps, the common men march into open breache meet opposite battalions, not only witho reluctance but with alacrity. My frien answered what I said in the following ma ner: What you wonder at may very n turally be the subject of admiration to a who are not conversant in camps; but whe a man has spent some time in that way life, he observes a certain mechanic cou age which the ordinary race of men becom masters of from acting always in a crow They see, indeed, many drop, but th they see many more alive; they obser

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