Изображения страниц
PDF
EPUB

e

The os cribriforme wasexceedingly stuff

hut upon applying our glasses to it, we must have been entirely deprived of the dabade a very odd discovery, namely, that faculty of blushing. hat we looked upon as brains, were not ach in reality, but a heap of strange ma-ed, and in some places damaged with snuff. erials wound up in that shape and texture, We could not but take notice in particular at and packed together with wonderful art in of that small muscle which is not often disdade several cavities of the skull. For, as covered in dissections, and draws the nose. flomer tells us, that the blood of the gods upward when it expresses the contempt ther not real blood, but only something like which the owner of it has, upon seeing any gave fas so we found that the brain of a beau thing he does not like, or hearing any thing resas not real brain, but only something he does not understand. I need not tell my :&ke it. learned reader, this is that muscle which The pineal gland, which many of our performs the motion so often mentioned odern philosophers suppose to be the seat by the Latin poets, when they talk of a the soul, smelt very strong of essence man's cocking his nose, or playing the rhiand orange-flower water, and was encom-noceros.

[graphic]

Proper

all be

[ocr errors]

terar

into English, the ogling muscles, were very much worn and decayed with use; whereas, on the contrary, the elevator, or the muscle which turns the eye towards heaven, did not appear to have been used at all.

dassed with a kind of horny substance, cut We did not find any thing very remark-, down to a thousand little faces or mirrors, able in the eye, saving only, that the muspronhich were imperceptible to the naked culi amatorii, or, as we may translate it Heye, insomuch that the soul, if there had deen any here, must have been always taken P in contemplating her own beauties. We observed a large antrum or cavity in sinciput, that was filled with ribands, ace, and embroidery, wrought together in most curious piece of net-work, the parts f which were likewise imperceptible to he naked eye. Another of these antrums r cavities was stuffed with invisible billetdoux, love-letters, pricked dances, and ther trumpery of the same nature. In anther we found a kind of powder, which set he whole company a sneezing, and by the cent discovered itself to be right Spanish. The several other cells were stored with ommodities of the same kind, of which it would be tedious to give the reader an exict inventory.

ice a

of t

There was a large cavity on each side of he head, which I must not omit. That on the right side was filled with fictions, flateries, and falsehoods, vows, promises, and protestations; that on the left with oaths and imprecations. There issued out a duct from each of these cells, which ran into the root of the tongue, where both joined together, and passed forward in one comnon duct to the tip of it. We discovered several little roads or canals running from the ear into the brain, and took particular care to trace them out through their several passages. One of them extended itself to a bundle of sonnets and little musical instruments. Others ended in several bladders, which were filled either with wind or froth. But the large canal entered into a great cavity of the skull, from whence there went another canal into the tongue. This great cavity was filled with a kind of spongy substance, which the French anatomists call galimatias, and the English,

nonsense.

I have only mentioned in this dissection such new discoveries as we were able to make, and have not taken any notice of those parts which are to be met with in common heads. As for the skull, the face, and indeed the whole outward shape and figure of the head, we could not discover any difference from what we observe in the heads of other men. We were informed that the person to whom this head belonged, had passed for a man above five and thirty years: during which time he eat and drank like other people, dressed well, talked loud, laughed frequently, and on particular occasions had acquitted himself tolerably at a ball or an assembly; to which one of the company added that a certain knot of ladies took him for a wit. He was cut off in the flower of his age by the blow of a paring-shovel, having been surprised by an eminent citizen, as he was tendering some civilities to his wife.

When we had thoroughly examined this head with all its apartments, and its several kinds of furniture, we put up the brain, such as it was, into its proper place, and laid it aside under a broad piece of scarlet cloth, in order to be prepared, and kept in a great repository of dissections; our operator telling us that the preparation would not be so difficult as that of another brain, for that he had observed several of the little pipes and tubes which ran through the brain were already filled with a kind of mercurial substance, which he looked upon to be true quicksilver.

[graphic]

He applied himself in the next place to the coquette's heart, which he likewise The skins of the forehead were extremely laid open with great dexterity. There octough and thick, and what very much sur-curred to us many particulars in this disprised us, had not in them any single blood- section: but being unwilling to burden my vessel that we were able to discover, either reader's memory too much, I shall reserve with or without our glasses; from whence this subject for the speculation of another we concluded, that the party when alive day.

L.

No. 276.] Wednesday, Jan. 16, 1711-12.
Errori nomen virtus posuisset honestum.

I mean here to say to you is, that the most free person of quality can go no further than being a kind woman; and you should never say of a man of figure worse than that he knows the world. I am, sir, your most humble servant,

'FRANCIS COURTLY.'

'MR. SPECTATOR,-I am a woman unspotted reputation, and know nothing have ever done which should encourage such insolence; but here was one the other too, who took the liberty to name the words day, and he was dressed like a gentleman not but you will resent it in behalf of, sir, 'lusty fellow" in my presence. I doubt your humble servant,

[ocr errors]

CELIA.'

Hor. Sat. iii. Lib. 1. 45. Misconduct screen'd behind a specious name. 'MR. SPECTATOR,-I hope you have philosophy enough to be capable of hearing the mention of your faults. Your papers which regard the fallen part of the fair sex, are, I think, written with an indelicacy which makes them unworthy to be inserted in the writings of a moralist who knows the world. I cannot allow that you are at liberty to observe upon the actions of mankind with the freedom which you seem to resolve upon; at least, if you do So, you should take along with you the distinction of the manners of the world, according to 'MR. SPECTATOR,-You lately put out the quality and way of life of the persons a dreadful paper, wherein you promise a concerned. A man of breeding speaks full account of the state of criminal love; of even misfortune among ladies, without and call all the fair who have transgressed giving it the most terrible aspect it can in that kind by one very rude name, which Bear: and this tenderness towards them is I do not care to repeat: but I desire to know much more to be preserved when you speak of you whether I am or am not one of those of vices. All mankind are so far related, My case is as follows: I am kept by an old that care is to be taken, in things to which bachelor who took me so young that I know all are liable, you do not mention what not how he came by me. He is a bencher concerns one in terms which shall disgust of one of the inns of court, a very gay another. Thus to tell a rich man of the in- healthy old man, which is a very lucky digence of a kinsman of his, or abruptly thing for him; who has been, he tells me, to inform a virtuous woman of the lapse of a scowerer, a scamperer, a breaker of win one who until then was in the same degree dows, an invader of constables, in the days of esteem with herself, is a kind of involv- of yore, when all dominion ended with the ing each of them in some participation of day, and males and females met helter those disadvantages. It is therefore ex-skelter, and the scowerers drove before pected from every writer, to treat his ar- them all who pretended to keep up order gument in such a manner as is most proper or rule to the interruption of love and hoto entertain the sort of readers to whom his nour. This is his way of talk, for he is very discourse is directed. It is not necessary gay when he visits me; but as his former when you write to the tea-table, that you knowledge of the town has alarmed him should draw vices which carry all the hor-into an invincible jealousy, he keeps me in ror of shame and contempt: if you paint an impertinent self-love, an artful glance, an coats, and my own hair woven in ringlets, a pair of slippers, neat bodice, warm pettiassumed complexion, you say all which after a manner, he says, he remembers. you ought to suppose they can be possibly am not mistress of one farthing of money, guilty of. When you talk with this limita- but have all necessaries provided for me, tion, you behave yourself so as that you under the guard of one who procured for may expect others in conversation may him while he had any desires to gratify. I second your raillery; but when you do it in know nothing of a wench's life, but the re a style which every body else forbears in putation of it: I have a natural voice, and respect to their quality, they have an easy a pretty untaught step in dancing. remedy in forbearing to read you, and hear- manner is to bring an old fellow who has ing no more of their faults. A man that is been his servant from his youth, and is now and then guilty of an intemperance is gray-headed. This man makes on the vionot to be called a drunkard; but the rule of in a certain jiggish noise to which I dance; polite raillery is to speak of a man's faults and when that is over I sing to him some as if you loved him. Of this nature is what loose air that has more wantonness than was said by Cæsar: when one was railing music in it. You must have seen a strange with an uncourtly vehemence, and broke windowed house near Hyde Park, which is out with, "What must we call him who so built that no one can look out of any was taken in an intrigue with another man's the apartments; my rooms are after this wife?" Cæsar answered very gravely, "Amanner, and I never see man, woman, careless fellow." This was at once a re- child, but in company with the two persons primand for speaking of a crime which in above-mentioned. He sends me in all the those days had not the abhorrence attending books, pamphlets, plays, operas, and songs it as it ought, as well as an intimation that that come out; and his utmost delight in all intemperate behaviour before superiors me, as a woman, is to talk over his old loses its aim, by accusing in a method unfit amours in my presence, to for the audience. A word to the wise. All neck, say "the time was," give me a kiss, play with my

His

of

or

I

[ocr errors]

d bid me be sure to follow the directions | tain, that their first attempts were without
my guardian, (the above-mentioned lady) success, to the no small disappointment of
d I shall never want. The truth of my our whole female world; but as their con-
se is, I suppose, that I was educated for stancy and application, in a matter of so
purpose he did not know he should be great importance, can never be sufficiently
fit for when I came to years. Now, sir, commended, so I am glad to find, that in
hat I ask of you as a casuist, is to tell me spite of all opposition, they have at length
w far, in these circumstances, I am inno- carried their point, of which I received
nt, though submissive: he guilty, though advice by the two following letters:
potent? I am, sir, your constant reader,
'PUCELLA.'

To the Man called the Spectator. "FRIEND,-Forasmuch as at the birth of y labour, thou didst promise upon thy ord, that letting alone the vanities that abound, thou wouldest only endeavour straighten the crooked morals of this our abylon, I gave credit to thy fair speeches, d admitted one of thy papers, every day ve Sunday, into my house, for the edificaon of my daughter Tabitha, and to the end at Susanna the wife of my bosom might ofit thereby. But, alas! my friend, I find at thou art a liar, and that the truth is t in thee; else why didst thou in a paper hich thou didst lately put forth, make ention of those vain coverings for the ads of our females, which thou lovest to en unto tulips, and which are lately rung up among us? Nay, why didst thou ake mention of them in such a seeming, if thou didst approve the invention, in much that my daughter Tabitha begineth to wax wanton, and to lust after these olish vanities? Surely thou dost see with e eyes of the flesh. Verily, therefore, less thou dost speedily amend, and leave following thine own imaginations, I will

ave off thee.

Thy friend, as hereafter thou dost deean thyself,

T.

'HEZEKIAH BROADBRIM.'

Mr. Spectator, I am so great a lover of whatever is French, that I lately discarded an humble admirer, because he neither spoke that tongue nor drank claret. I have long bewailed in secret the calamities of my sex during the war, in all which time we have laboured under the insupportable inventions of English tire-women, who, though they sometimes copy indifferently well, can never compose with that goût" they do in France.

66

I was almost in despair of ever more seeing a model from that dear country, when last Sunday I overheard a lady in the next pew to me whisper another, that at the Seven Stars, in King-street, Coventgarden, there was a mademoiselle pletely dressed, just come from Paris.

com

I was in the utmost impatience during the remaining part of the service, and as soon as ever it was over, having learnt the milliner's "addresse," I went directly to her house in King-street, but was told that the French lady was at a person of quality's in Pall-mall, and would not be back again until very late that night. I was therefore obliged to renew my visit very early this morning, and had then a full view of the dear moppet from head to foot.

You cannot imagine, worthy sir, how ridiculously I find we have been trussed up during the war, and how infinitely the French dress excels ours.

The mantua has no lead in the sleeves, and I hope we are not lighter than the 0.277.] Thursday, January 17, 1711-12. French ladies, so as to want that kind of

-fas est et ab hoste doceri.

Ovid. Met. Lib. iv. 428.

Receive instruction from an enemy.

ballast; the petticoat has no whalebone, but
sits with an air altogether gallant and de-
gage: the coiffure is inexpressibly pretty;
and, in short, the whole dress has a thou-

IPRESUME I need not inform the polite
rt of my readers, that before our cor-
spondence with France was unhappily
I thought fit, however, to give you this
errupted by the war, our ladies had all notice, that you may not be surprised at my
eir fashions from thence; which the mil-appearing a la mode de Paris on the next
ers took care to furnish them with by birth-night. I am, sir, your humble ser-
ans of a jointed baby, that came regu- vant,

sand beauties in it, which I would not have
as yet made too public.

ly over once a month, habited after the

anner of the most eminent toasts in Paris.

I am

TERAMINTA.'

Within an hour after I had read this letcredibly informed, that even in the ter, I received another from the owner of

the puppet.

'SIR,-On Saturday last, being the 12th

ttest time of the war, the sex made seve-
efforts, and raised large contributions
wards the importation of this wooden instant, there arrived at my house in King-

demoiselle.

Whether the vessel they sent out was the year 1712. I have taken the utmost street, Covent-Garden, a French baby for t or taken, or whether its cargo was care to have her dressed by the most celeParis, and do not find that I have any reason to be sorry for the expense I have been

zed

piece of contraband goods, I have not been able to learn; it is however cer

at in her clothes and importation: however, as I know no person who is so good a judge of dress as yourself, if you please to call at my house in your way to the city, and take a view of her, I promise to amend whatever you shall disapprove in your next paper, before I exhibit her as a pattern to the public. I am, sir, your most humble admirer, and most obedient servant,

'BETTY CROSS-STITCH.

they are now practised at the court of France.

She added, that she hoped she might depend upon having my encouragement as soon as it arrived; but as this was a petition of too great importance to be answered extempore, I left her without a reply, and made the best of my way to Will Honey; comb's lodgings, without whose advice I never communicate any thing to the public of this nature.

-Sermones ego mallem
Repentes per humam-

Χ.

As I am willing to do any thing in reason for the service of my countrywomen, and No. 278.] Friday, January 18, 1711-12 had much rather prevent faults than find them, I went last night to the house of the above-mentioned Mrs. Cross-Stitch. As soon as I entered, the maid of the shop, who, I suppose, was prepared for my coming, without asking me any questions, introduced me to the little damsel, and ran away to call her mistress.

Hor. Ep. i. Lib. 2. 250. I rather choose a low and creeping style. 'MR. SPECTATOR,-SIR,-Your having done considerable services in this great city by rectifying the disorders of families, and The puppet was dressed in a cherry-several wives having preferred your advice coloured gown and petticoat, with a short and directions to those of their husbands, working apron over it, which discovered emboldens me to apply to you at this time. her shape to the most advantage. Her hair I am a shop keeper, and though but a young was cut and divided very prettily, with man, I find by experience that nothing but several ribands stuck up and down in it. the utmost diligence both of husband and The milliner assured me, that her com- wife (among trading people) can keep af plexion was such as was worn by all the fairs in any tolerable order. My wife at the ladies of the best fashion in Paris. Her beginning of our establishment showed her head was extremely high, on which subject self very assisting to me in my business as having long since declared my sentiments, much as could lie in her way, and I have I shall say nothing more to it at present. I reason to believe it was with her inclination: was also offended at a small patch she wore but of late she has got acquainted with a on her breast, which I cannot suppose is school-man, who values himself for his great placed there with any good design. knowledge in the Greek tongue. He enter tains her frequently in the shop with dis courses of the beauties and excellences of that the two ends hung down to her girdle; that language; and repeats to her several but whether these supply the place of kiss- passages out of the Greek poets, wherein ing-strings in our enemy's country, and he tells her there is unspeakable harmony whether our British ladies have any occa- and agreeable sounds that all other lar sion for them, I shall leave to their serious guages are wholly unacquainted with. He has so infatuated her with his jargon, that After having observed the particulars of instead of using her former diligence in the her dress, as I was taking a view of it alto-shop, she now neglects the affairs of the fold me that Mademoiselle had something tutor in learning by heart scraps of Greck, gether, the shop-maid, who is a pert wench, house, and is wholly taken up with her very curious in the tying of her garters; but which she vents upon all occasions. She I use sticks when they are under petticoats, I did some Latin inscriptions in my shop, she not examine into that particular. Upon the advised me with a great deal of concern to of this gay lady, and the more language less understood, would be more so because she was not talkative, a quality conformable to the mystery of my profes very rarely to be met with in the rest of her sion; that our good friend would be assisting country women. to us in this work; and that a certain faculty As I was taking my leave, the milliner of gentlemen would find themselves so much farther informed me, that with the assist- obliged to me, that they would infallibly bour, and the ingenious Mr. Powel, she had importunities upon this, and other imperti ance of a watch-maker, who was her neigh-make my fortune. In short, her frequent the help of several little springs to be wound uneasy; and if your remonstrances have no also contrived another puppet, which by nences of the like nature, make me very that she had sent it over to her correspon- I shall be obliged to ruin myself to procure up within it, could move all its limbs, and more effect upon her than mine, I am afraid dent in Paris to be taught the various lean- her a settlement at Oxford with her tutor, ings and bendings of the head, the risings for she is already too mad for Bedlam

Her necklace was of an immoderate length, being tied before in such a manner,

consideration.

appearance

family is

of the bosom, the courtesy and recovery, Now, sir, you see the danger my the gentce! trip, and the agreeable jet, as exposed to, and the likelihood of my

wife's

[ocr errors]

becoming both troublesome and useless, unless her reading herself in your paper may make her reflect. She is so very learned that I cannot pretend by word of mouth to argue with her. She laughed out at your ending a paper in Greek, and said it was a hint to women of literature, and very civil not to translate it to expose them to the vulgar. You see how it is with, sir, your humble servant.'

a

'MR. SPECTATOR, You will forgive us professors of music if we make a second application to you, in order to promote our design of exhibiting entertainments of music in York-buildings. It is industriously insinuated that our intention is to destroy operas in general, but we beg of you to insert this plain explanation of ourselves in your paper. Our purpose is only to improve our circumstances, by improving the art 'MR. SPECTATOR,-If you have that huwhich we profess. We see it utterly demanity and compassion in your nature that stroyed at present, and as we were the you take such pains to make one think you groundless imputation that we should set persons who introduced operas, we think it have, you will not deny your advice to a listressed damsel, who intends to be de- tend to assert is, that the songs of different up against the opera itself. What we preermined by your judgment in a matter of great importance to her. You must know foreign tone and manner which are expected authors injudiciously put together, and a hen, there is an agreeable young fellow, to in every thing now performed amongst us, whose person, wit and humour, nobody has put music itself to a stand; insomuch makes any objection, that pretends to have that the ears of the people cannot now be been long in love with me. To this I must entertained with any thing but what has an dd (whether it proceeds from the vanity impertinent gaiety, without any just spirit, of my nature, or the seeming sincerity of my lover, I will not pretend to say) that I or a languishment of notes, without any verily believe he has a real value for me; persons of sense and quality who have done passion or common sense. We hope those which, if true, you will allow may justly us the honour to subscribe, will not be ugment his merit with his mistress. In ashamed of their patronage towards us, and short, I am so sensible of his good qualities, not receive impressions that patronising us and what I owe to his passion, that I think is being for or against the opera, but truly could sooner resolve to give up my liberty to him than any body else, were there not promoting their own diversions in a more An objection to be made to his fortunes, in just and elegant manner than has been regard they do not answer the utmost mine hitherto performed. We are, sir, your most humble servants, may expect, and are not sufficient to secure me from undergoing the reproachful phrase 30commonly used, "that she has played the fool." Now though I am one of those few who heartily despise equipage, diaThere will be no performances in Yorkmonds, and a coxcomb, yet since such op- buildings until after that of the subscripposite notions from mine prevail in the tion.' world, even amongst the best, and such as

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

THOMAS CLAYTON, 'NICOLINO HAYM, CHARLES DIEUPÁRT.

[ocr errors]

T.

Reddere personte scit convenientin cuique.
Hor. Ars Poet. v. 316.
He knows what best befits each character.

are esteemed the most prudent people, I No. 279.] Saturday, January 19, 1711-12. cannot find in my heart to resolve upon incurring the censure of those wise folks, which I am conscious I shall do, if when I enter into a married state, I discover a hought beyond that of equalling, if not ad- WE have already taken a general survey ancing my fortunes. Under this difficulty of the fable and characters in Milton's Paranow labour, not being in the least deter-dise Lost. The parts which remain to be mined whether I shall be governed by the considered, according to Aristotle's method, rain world, and the frequent examples I are the sentiments and the language. Beneet with, or hearken to the voice of my fore I enter upon the first of these, I must over, and the motions I find in my heart in advertise my reader, that it is my design, avour of him. Sir, your opinion and advice as soon as I have finished my general reflecn this affair is the only thing I know can tions on these four several heads, to give urn the balance, and which I earnestly particular instances out of the poem which ntreat I may receive soon; for until I have is now before us, of beauties and imperfecour thoughts upon it, I am engaged not to tions which may be observed under each of ave my swain a final discharge. them, as also of such other particulars as

Besides the particular obligation you will may not properly fall under any of them. Ay on me, by giving this subject room in ne of your papers, it is possible it may be fuse to some others of my sex, who will e as grateful for the favour as, sir, your tumble servant, dan FLORINDA. P. S. To tell you the truth, I am marhed to him already, but pray say something to justify me.'

This I thought fit to premise, that the reader may not judge too hastily of this piece of criticism, or look upon it as imperfect, before he has seen the whole extent of it.

The sentiments in an epic poem are the thoughts and behaviour which the author ascribes to the persons whom he introduces,

« ПредыдущаяПродолжить »