Your petitioner humbly prays that he may have people to know how he does, and he will make his appearance.

and therefore he has not waited for being | you may with authority censure whatever
sentenced to it.
looks ill, and is offensive to the sight; the
"That he is conscious there is nothing worst nuisance of which kind, methinks, is
more improper than such a complaint in the scandalous appearance of poor in all
good company, in that they must pity, parts of this wealthy city. Such miserable
whether they think the lamenter ill or not; objects affect the compassionate beholder
and that the complainant must make a silly with dismal ideas, discompose the cheer-
figure, whether he is pitied or not.
fulness of his mind, and deprive him of the
pleasure he might otherwise take in sur-
veying the grandeur of our metropolis.
Who can without remorse see a disabled
sailor, the purveyor of our luxury, destitute
of necessaries? Who can behold the honest
soldier that bravely withstood the enemy,
prostrate and in want among friends? It
were endless to mention all the variety of
wretchedness, and the numberless poor that
not only singly, but in companies, implore
your charity. Spectacles of this nature
every where occur; and it is unaccountable
that amongst the many lamentable cries
that infest this town, your comptroller-
general should not take notice of the most
shocking, viz. those of the needy and af
flicted. I cannot but think he waived it
merely out of good breeding, choosing ra-
ther to waive his resentment than upbraid
his countrymen with inhumanity: however,
let not charity be sacrificed to popularity;
and if his ears were deaf to their complaint,
let not your eyes overlook their persons
There are, I know, many impostors among
them. Lameness and blindness are cer
tainly very often acted; but can those who
have their sight and limbs employ them
better than in knowing whether they are
counterfeited or not? I know not which of
the two misapplies his senses most, he who
pretends himself blind to move compassion,
or he who beholds a miserable object with

The valetudinarian was likewise easily
excused: and the society, being resolved
not only to make it their business to pass
their time agreeably for the present season,
but also to commence such habits in them-
selves as may be of use in their future con-
duct in general, are very ready to give into
a fancied or real incapacity to join with
their measures, in order to have no hu-
mourist, proud man, impertinent or suffi-
cient fellow, break in upon their happiness.
Great evils seldom happen to disturb com-
pany; but indulgence in particularities of
humour is the seed of making half our time
hang in suspense, or waste away under real
discomposures.

Among other things, it is carefully provided that there may not be disagreeable familiarities. No one is to appear in the public rooms undressed, or enter abruptly into each other's apartment without intimation. Every one has hitherto been so careful in his behaviour, that there has but one offender, in ten days' time, been sent into the infirmary, and that was for throwing away his cards at whist.

He has offered his submission in the following terms:

“The humble Petition of Jeoffry Hotspur, out pitying it. But in order to remove such

Esq.

"Showeth,
"Though the petitioner swore, stamped,
and threw down his cards, he has all ima-
ginable respect for the ladies, and the whole

company.

an

impediments, I wish, Mr. Spectator, you would give us a discourse upon beggars, that we may not pass by true objects of charity, or give to impostors. I looked out of my window the other morning earlier than ordinary, and saw a blind beggar, That he humbly desires it may be con-hour before the passage he stands in is sidered, in the case of gaming, there are frequented, with a needle and a thread many motives which provoke the disorder. thriftily mending his stockings. My asto"That the desire of gain, and the desire nishment was still greater, when I beheld a of victory, are both thwarted in losing. lame fellow, whose legs were too big to "That all conversations in the world walk within an hour after, bring him a pot have indulged human infirmity in this case. of ale. I will not mention the shakings, "Your petitioner therefore most humbly distortions, and convulsions, which many prays, that he may be restored to the com- of them practise to gain an alms; but sure pany: and he hopes to bear ill-fortune with a good grace for the future, and to demean himself so as to be no more than cheerful when he wins, than grave when he loses." T.

I

am they ought to be taken care of in this condition, either by the beadle or the ma gistrate. They, it seems, relieve their posts, according to their talents. There is the voice of an old woman never begins to beg till nine in the evening; and then she is destitute of lodging, turned out for want of rent, and has the same ill fortune every night in the year. You should employ an officer to hear the distress of each beggar that is constant at a particular place, who is ever in the same tone, and succeeds be SIR,-As you are a Spectator-general, cause his audience is continually changing,

No. 430.] Monday, July 14, 1712.
Quare peregrinum, vicinia rauca reclamat.
Hor. Ep. xvii. Lib. 1. 62.
-The crowd replies,

Go seek a stranger to believe thy lies.-Creech.

"For higher of the genial bed by far,
And with mysterious reverence, I deem."

ough he does not alter his lamentation.
we have nothing else for our money, let
have more invention to be cheated with. I am, sir, your humble servant,
1 which is submitted to your spectatorial
gilance; and I am, sir, your most humble
vant.

No. 431.]

THOMAS MEANWELL.'

Tuesday, July 15, 1712.
Quid dulcius hominum generi a natura datum est,
quam sui quique liberi?
Tull.
What is there in nature so dear to a man as his own

children?

SIR,-I was last Sunday highly transTted at our parish-church; the gentleman the pulpit pleaded movingly in behalf of e poor children, and they for themselves uch more forcibly by singing a hymn; and had the happiness of being a contributor the several unhappinesses of life, and comI HAVE lately been casting in my thoughts this little religious institution of innonts, and am sure I never disposed of paring the infelicities of old age to those of oney more to my satisfaction and advan- due to the negligence and misconduct of infancy. The calamities of children are ge. The inward joy I find in myself, and parents; those of age to the past life which e good-will I bear to mankind, make me led to it. I have here the history of a boy artily wish those pious works may be en- and girl to their wedding-day, and I think uraged, that the present promoters may I cannot give the reader a livelier image of ap delight, and posterity the benefit of the insipid way in which time uncultivated em. But whilst we are building this autiful edifice, let not the old ruins re-authentic epistles, expressing all that was passes, than by entertaining him with their ain in view to sully the prospect. Whilst remarkable in their lives, till the period of e are cultivating and improving this young their life above-mentioned. The sentence opeful offspring, let not the ancient and at the head of this paper, which is only a lpless creatures be shamefully neglected. warm interrogation, What is there in na"he crowds of poor, or pretended poor, in ture so dear as a man's own children to very place, are a great reproach to us, and him?' is all the reflection I shall at present clipse the glory of all other charity. It is make on those who are negligent or cruel e utmost reproach to society, that there in the education of them. hould be a poor man unrelieved, or a poor gue unpunished. I hope you will think O part of human life out of your consideraon, but will, at your leisure, give us the istory of plenty and want, and the natural radations towards them, calculated for ne cities of London and Westminster. I m, sir, your most humble servant,

'T. D.'

MR. SPECTATOR,-I beg you would be leased to take notice of a very great indeency, which is extremely common, though, think, never yet under your censure. It 5, sir, the strange freedoms some ill-bred married people take in company; the uneasonable fondness of some husbands, and he ill-timed tenderness of some wives. They talk and act as if modesty was only t for maids and bachelors, and that too efore both. I was once, Mr. Spectator, where the fault I speak of was so very flarant, that (being, you must know, a very ashful fellow, and several young ladies in The room,) I protest I was quite out of counenance. Lucina, it seems, was breeding; and she did nothing but entertain the company with a discourse upon the difficulty of eckoning to a day; and said she knew those who were certain to an hour; then fell a aughing at a silly inexperienced creature, who was a month above her time. Upon her husband's coming in, she put several questions to him; which he, not caring to resolve, "Well," cries Lucina, "I shall ave 'em all at night." But lest I should eem guilty of the very fault I write against, shall only entreat Mr. Spectator to cor

rect such misdemeanors.

'MR. SPECTATOR,-I am now entering into my one and twentieth year, and do not know that I had one day's thorough satisfaction since I came to years of any reflection, till the time they say others lose their liberty-the day of my marriage. I am son to a gentleman of a very great estate, who resolved to keep me out of the vices of the age; and, in order to it, never let me see any thing that he thought could give me any pleasure. At ten years old I was put to a grammar-school, where my master received orders every post to use me very severely, and have no regard to my having a great estate. At fifteen I was removed to the university, where I lived, out of my father's great discretion, in scandalous poverty and and I was sent for to see the lady who sends want, till I was big enough to be married, you the underwritten. When we were put not be worse than we were in taking one together, we both considered that we could tered into wedlock. My father says I am another, and, out of a desire of liberty, enanother gentleman. I am, sir, your most now a man, and may speak to him like humble servant,

RICHARD RENTFREE.'

'MR. SPEC, I grew tall and wild at my mother's, who is a gay widow, and did not care for showing me, till about two years and a half ago; at which time my guardianuncle sent me to a boarding-school, with orders to contradict me in nothing, for I had been misused enough already. I had not been there above a month when, being in the kitchen, I saw some oatmeal on the

.

with directions on both sides to be in love with one another; and in three weeks time we were married. I regained my former health and complexion, and am now as happy as the day is long. Now, Mr. Spec, I desire you would find out some name for these craving damsels, whether dignified or distinguished under some or all of the following denominations, to wit, "Trasheaters, Oatmeal-chewers, Pipe-champers, Chalk-lickers, Wax-nibblers, Coal-scranchers, Wall-peelers, or Gravel-diggers," and, good sir, do your utmost endeavour to prevent (by exposing) this unaccountable folly, so prevailing among the young ones of our sex, who may not meet with such sudden good luck as, sir, your constant reader, and very humble servant,

T.

'SABINA GREEN, 'Now SABINA RENTFREE.'

-Inter strepit anser olores.

Virg. Ed. ix. 30. He gabbles like a goose amidst the swan-like quire Dryden.

'Oxford, July 14. invitation in one of your papers to every 'MR. SPECTATOR,-According to a late the following short dissertation against the man who pleases to write, I have sent you vice of being prejudiced. Your most hum ble servant.

dresser; I put two or three corns in my
mouth, liked it, stole a handful, went into
my chamber, chewed it, and for two months
after never failed taking toll of every pen-
nyworth of oatmeal that came into the
house; but one day playing with a tobacco-
pipe between my teeth, it happened to
break in my mouth, and the spitting out
the pieces left such a delicious roughness
on my tongue, that I could not be satisfied
till I had champed up the remaining part
of the pipe. I forsook the oatmeal and
stuck to the pipes three months, in which
time I had dispensed with thirty-seven foul
pipes, all to the bowls: they belonged to an
old gentleman, father to my governess.
He locked up the clean ones. I left off eat-
ing of pipes, and fell to licking of chalk. I
was soon tired of this. I then nibbled all
the red wax of our last ball-tickets, and,
three weeks after, the black wax from the
burying-tickets of the old gentleman. Two
months after this, I lived upon thunder- No. 432.] Wednesday, July 16, 1712
bolts, a certain long round blueish stone
which I found among the gravel in our gar-
den. I was wonderfully delighted with this;
but thunder-bolts growing scarce, I fastened
tooth and nail upon our garden-wall, which
I stuck to almost a twelvemonth, and had
in that time peeled and devoured half a
foot towards our neighbour's yard. I now
thought myself the happiest creature in
the world; and I believe, in my conscience,
I had eaten quite through, had I had it in
my chamber; but now I became lazy and
unwilling to stir, and was obliged to seek "Man is a sociable creature, and a lover
food nearer home. I then took a strange of glory; whence it is, that when several
hankering to coals; I fell to scranching 'em, persons are united in the same society,
and had already consumed, I am certain, they are studious to lessen the reputation
as much as would have dressed my wed- of others, in order to raise their own. The
ding dinner, when my uncle came for me wise are content to guide the springs in
home. He was in the parlour with my silence, and rejoice in secret at their reg
governess, when I was called down. I went lar progress. To prate and triumph is the
in, fell on my knees, for he made me call part allotted to the trifling and superficial.
him father; and when I expected the bless- The geese were providentially ordained
ing I asked, the good gentleman, in a sur- save the Capitol. Hence it is, that the in
prise, turns himself to my governess, and vention of marks and devices to distinguish
asks, "whether this (pointing to me) was parties is owing to the beaus and belles of
his daughter? This," added he, "is the this island. Hats moulded into different
very picture of death.
plump-faced, hale, fresh-coloured girl; but defiance; patches have been set against
My child was a cocks and pinches, have long bid mutual
this looks as if she was half-starved, a mere patches in battle array: stocks have risen
skeleton." My governess, who is really a and fallen in proportion to head-dresses;
good woman, assured my father I had and peace and war been expected, as the
wanted for nothing; and withal told him I white or the red hood hath prevailed. These
was continually eating some trash or other, are the standard-bearers in our contending
and that I was almost eaten up with the armies, the dwarfs and 'squires who car
green-sickness, her orders being never to ry the impresses of the giants
or knights,
cross me. But this magnified but little with not born to fight themselves, but to prepare
my father, who presently, in a kind of pet, the way for the ensuing combat.
paying for my board, took me home with
him. I had not been long at home, but one
Sunday at church (I shall never forget it)
I saw a young neighbouring gentleman that
leased me hugely; I liked him of all men
ever saw in my life, and began to wish I
could be as pleasing to him. The very next
day he came with his father a visiting to
our house: we were left alone together,

"It is a matter of wonder to reflect how far men of weak understanding, and strong fancy, are hurried by their prejudices, even to the believing that the whole body of the adverse party are a band of villains and dæmons. Foreigners complain that the English are the proudest nation under het ven. Perhaps they too have their share: but be that as it will, general charges

BOULDER

ainst bodies of men is the fault I am riting against. It must be owned, to our ame, that our common people, and most ho have not travelled, have an irrational ntempt for the language, dress, customs, d even the shape and minds of other naOns. Some men, otherwise of sense, have ondered that a great genius should spring t of Ireland; and think you mad in afming that fine odes have been written in apland.

kind of. fame. These copiers of men, like
those of authors or painters, run into af-
fectations of some oddness, which perhaps
was not disagreeable in the original, but
sits ungracefully on the narrow-souled tran-
scriber.

"By such early corrections of vanity,
while boys are growing into men, they will
gradually learn not to censure superficially;
but imbibe those principles of general kind-
ness and humanity, which alone can make
them easy to themselves, and beloved by
others.

"Reflections of this nature have expunged all prejudice out of my heart; insomuch, that though I am a firm protestant, I hope see the pope and cardinals without violent emotions; and though I am naturally grave, I expect to meet good company at Paris. I am, sir, your humble servant.

"This spirit of rivalship, which hereto-
re reigned in the two universities, is ex-
ct, and almost over betwixt college and
ollege. In parishes and schools the thirst
r glory still obtains. At the seasons of
ot-ball and cock-fighting, these little re-to
ublics reassume their national hatred to
ach other. My tenant in the country is
erily persuaded, that the parish of the
nemy hath not one honest man in it.
"I always hated satires against women,
nd satires against men: I am apt to sus-
ect a stranger who laughs at the religion
the faculty: my spleen rises at a dull
gue who is severe upon mayors and al-
ermen; and I was never better pleased
man with a piece of justice executed upon
he body of a Templar who was very arch

pon parsons.

you at

'MR. SPECTATOR,-I find you are a
general undertaker, and have, by your cor-
respondents or self, an insight into most
things; which makes me apply myself to
ever befel man. My wife has taken some-
present, in the sorest calamity that
thing ill of me, and has not spoke one word,
good or bad, to me, or any body in the fa-
mily, since Friday was seven-night. What
must a man do in that case? Your advice
would be a great obligation to, sir, your
most humble servant,

RALPH THIMBLETON.'
July 15, 1712.
'MR. SPECTATOR,-When you want a
will lay an obligation on your humble ser-
trifle to fill up a paper, in inserting this you
OLIVIA.'

vant,

"The necessities of mankind require va-
ous employments; and whoever excels in
is province is worthy of praise. All men
re not educated after the same manner,
or have all the same talents. Those who
re deficient deserve our compassion, and
ave a title to our assistance. All cannot
e bred in the same place; but in all places
here arise, at different times, such persons
s do honour to their society, which may
"DEAR OLIVIA, It is but this moment
aise envy in little, souls, but are admired I have had the happiness of knowing to
nd cherished by generous spirits.
whom I am obliged for the present I re-
"It is certainly a great happiness to be ceived the second of April. am heartily
ducated in societies of great and eminent sorry it did not come to hand the day before;
nen. Their instructions and examples are for I cannot but think it very hard upon
f extraordinary advantage. It is highly people to lose their jest, that offer at one
proper to instil such a reverence of the go- but once a-year. congratulate myself
erning persons, and concern for the honour however upon the earnest given me of
f the place, as may spur the growing mem- something farther intended in my favour,
ers to worthy pursuits and honest emula- for I am told that the man who is thought
on; but to swell young minds with vain worthy by a lady to make a fool of stands
houghts of the dignity of their own bro- fair enough in her opinion to become one
herhood, by debasing and vilifying all day her husband. Till such time as I have
thers, doth them a real injury. By this the honour of being sworn, I take leave to
means I have found that their efforts have subscribe myself, dear Olivia, your fool
ecome languid, and their prattle irksome, elect,
NICODEMUNCIO."
s thinking it sufficient praise that they
re children of so illustrious and ample a
amily. I should think it a surer as well as
ore generous method, to set before the No. 433.] Thursday, July 17, 1712.
yes of youth such persons as have made
noble progress in fraternities less talked
which seems tacitly to reproach their
loth, who loll so heavily in the seats of
nighty improvement. Active spirits here-
y would enlarge their notions; where-
, by a servile imitation of one, or perhaps
wo, admired men in their own body, they
an only gain a secondary and derivative

Perlege Mæonio cantatas carmine ranas,
Et frontem nugis solvere disce meis.

T.

Mart. Epig. clxxxiii. 14.
To banish anxious thought, and quiet pain,
Read Homer's frogs, or my more trifling strain.
THE moral world, as consisting of males
and females, is of a mixed nature, and filled
with several customs, fashions, and cere-
monies, which would have no place in it