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raillery on marriage, and one who has ofte tried his fortune that way without succes I cannot however dismiss this letter, with out observing, that the true story on whic it is built does honour to the sex, and tha in order to abuse them, the writer is oblige to have recourse to dream and fiction.

Huc natas adjice septem,

great surprise, I found that she had left the
good man at home, and brought away her
gallant. I saw the third, at some distance,
with a little withered face peeping over her
shoulder, whom I could not suspect for any
but her spouse, until upon her setting him
down I heard her call him dear pug, and
found him to be her favourite monkey. A
fourth brought a huge bale of cards along
with her, and the fifth a Bologna lap-dog;
for her husband, it seems, being a very No. 500.] Friday, October 3, 1712.
burly man, she thought it would be less
trouble for her to bring away little Cupid.
The next was the wife of a rich usurer,
loaden with a bag of gold; she told us that
her spouse was very old, and by the course
of nature could not expect to live long;
and that to show her tender regards for
him, she had saved that which the poor
man loved better than his life. The next
came towards us with her son upon her
back, who, we were told, was the greatest
rake in the place, but so much the mother's
darling, that she left her husband behind
with a large family of hopeful sons and
daughters, for the sake of this graceless

'It would be endless to mention the seve-
ral persons, with their several loads, that
appeared to me in this strange vision. All
the place about me was covered with packs
of ribands, brocades, embroidery, and ten
thousand other materials, sufficient to have
furnished a whole street of toy-shops. One
of the women, having a husband, who was
none of the heaviest, was bringing him off
upon her shoulders, at the same time that
she carried a great bundle of Flanders lace
under her arm; but finding herself so over-
loaden, that she could not save both of
them, she dropped the good man, and
brought away the bundle. In short, I found
but one husband among this great moun-
tain of baggage, who was a lively cobbler,
that kicked and spurred all the while his
wife was carrying him on, and, as it was
said, he had scarce passed a day in his life
without giving her the discipline of the

I cannot conclude my letter, dear Spec, without telling thee one very odd whim in this my dream. I saw, methought, a dozen women employed in bringing off one man; I could not guess who it should be, until upon his nearer approach I discovered thy short phiz. The women all declared that it was for the sake of thy works, and not thy person, that they brought thee off, and that it was on condition that thou shouldst continue the Spectator. If thou thinkest this dream will make a tolerable one, it is at thy service, from, dear Spec, thine, sleeping and waking,


The ladies will see by this letter what I have often told them, that Will is one of those old-fashioned men of wit and pleasure of the town, that shows his parts by


Et todidem juvenes; et mox generosque nurusque:
Quærite nunc, habeat quam nostra superbia causa
Ovid Met. Lib. vi. 182

Seven are my daughters, of a form divine,
With seven fair sons, an indefective line.
Go, fools, consider this, and ask the cause
From which my pride its strong presumption draw

'SIR,--You, who are so well acquainte with the story of Socrates, must have rea how, upon his making a discourse concern ing love, he pressed his point with so muc success, that all the bachelors in his au dience took a resolution to marry by th first opportunity, and that all the marrie men immediately took horse and gallope home to their wives. I am apt to think you discourses, in which you have drawn s many agreeable pictures of marriage, hav had a very good effect this way in England We are obliged to you, at least, for havin taken off that senseless ridicule, which fo many years the witlings of the town hav turned upon their fathers and mothers. Fo my own part, I was born in wedlock, an I do not care who knows it; for which rea son, among many others, I should look upo myself as a most insufferable coxcomb, di I endeavour to maintain that cuckoldor was inseparable from marriage, or to mak use of husband and wife as terms of re proach. Nay, sir, I will go one step far ther, and declare to you, before the whol world, that I am a married man, and a the same time I have so much assurance a not to be ashamed of what I have done.

'Among the several pleasures that a company this state of life, in which yo have described in your former paper there are two you have not taken notice o and which are seldom cast into the accou by those who write on this subject. Yo must have observed, in your speculation on human nature, that nothing is mor gratifying to the mind of man than powe or dominion; and this I think myself ampl possessed of, as I am the father of a family I am perpetually taken up in giving ou orders, in prescribing duties, in hearin parties, in administering justice, and in dis tributing rewards and punishments. T speak in the language of the centurion, say unto one, Go, and he goeth; and to an other, Come, and he cometh; and to my servant, Do this, and he doeth it. In short, sir, I look upon my family as a patriarchal sovereignty, in which I am myself both

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king and priest. All great governments to most of those with whom I converse, are nothing else but clusters of these little namely, that a man who has many chilprivate royalties, and therefore I consider dren, and gives them a good education, is the masters of families as small deputy- more likely to raise a family, than he who governors, presiding over the several little has but one, notwithstanding he leaves him parcels and divisions of their fellow-sub- his whole estate. For this reason I cannot jects. As I take great pleasure in the forbear amusing myself with finding out a administration of my government in par-general, an admiral, or an alderman of ticular, so I look upon myself not only as a | London, a divine, a physician, or a lawyer, more useful, but as a much greater and among my little people who are now perhappier man than any bachelor in England of my rank and condition. 'There is another accidental advantage in marriage, which has likewise fallen to my share; I mean the having a multitude of children. These I cannot but regard as very great blessings. When I see my little If you are a father, you will not perhaps troop before me, I rejoice in the additions think this letter impertinent; but if you are which I have made to my species, to my a single man, you will not know the meancountry, and to my religion, in having pro-ing of it, and probably throw it into the fire. duced such a number of reasonable crea- Whatever you determine of it, you may tures, citizens, and Christians. I am pleased assure yourself that it comes from one who to see myself thus perpetuated; and as is your most humble servant, and wellthere is no production_comparable to that wisher, PHILOGAMUS.' of a human creature, I am more proud of O. having been the occasion of ten such glorious productions, than if I had built a hun

haps in petticoats; and when I see the motherly airs of my little daughters when they are playing with their puppets, I cannot but flatter myself that their husbands and children will be happy in the possession of such wives and mothers.

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dred pyramids at my own expense, or No. 501.] Saturday, October 4, 1712.


published as many volumes of the finest wit and learning. In what a beautiful light has the holy scripture represented Abdon, one of the judges of Israel, who had forty sons and thirty grandsons, that rode on threescore and ten ass colts, according to the magnificence of the eastern countries! How must the heart of the old man rejoice, when he saw such a beautiful procession of his own descendants, such a numerous cavalcade of his own raising! For my own part, I can sit in my own parlour with great content when I take a review of half a dozen little boys mounting upon hobby horses, and of as many little girls tutoring their babies, each of them endeavouring to excel the rest, and to do something that may gain my favour and approbation. I cannot question but he who has blessed me with so many children, will assist my endeavours in providing for them. There is ne thing I am able to give each of them, which is a virtuous education. I think it is Sir Francis Bacon's observation, that in a umerous family of children, the eldest is ften spoiled by the prospect of an estate, and the youngest by being the darling of the arents; but that some one or other in the iddle, who has not perhaps been regardd, has made his way in the world, and vertopped the rest. It is my business to plant in every one of my children the me seeds of industry, and the same est principles. By this means I think I ave a fair chance, that one or other of em may grow considerable in some way other of life, whether it be in the army, in the fleet, in trade or any of the three arned professions; for you must know, sir, at, from long experience and observation, am persuaded of what seems a paradox

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'Tis hard: but when we needs must bear, Enduring patience makes the burden light.-Creech As some of the finest compositions among the ancients are in allegory, I have endeavoured, in several of my papers, to revive that way of writing, and hope I have not been altogether unsuccessful in it; for I find there is always a great demand for those particular papers, and cannot but observe that several authors have endeavoured of late to excel in works of this nature. Among those, I do not know any one who has succeeded better than a very ingenious gentleman, to whom I am obliged for the following piece, and who was the author of the vision in the 460th paper.

How are we tortured with the absence of what we covet to possess, when it appears to be lost to us! What excursions does the soul make in imagination after it! and how does it turn into itself again, more foolishly fond and dejected at the disappointment! Our grief, instead of having recourse to reason, which might restrain it, searches to find a farther nourishment. It calls upon memory to relate the several passages and circumstances of satisfaction which we formerly enjoyed; the pleasures we purchased by those riches that are taken from us; or the power and splendour of our departed honours; or the voice, the words, the looks, the temper and affections of our friends that are deceased. It needs must happen from hence that the passion. should often swell to such a size as to burst the heart which contains it, if time did not


make these circumstances less strong and heightened by the influence of what w
lively, so that reason should become a more heard and saw, and one of our number wa
equal match for the passion, or if another wrought up to such a pitch of wildness, a
desire which becomes more present did not to talk of hanging himself upon a bough
overpower them with a livelier representa- which shot temptingly across the path w
tion. These are thoughts which I had travelled in; but he was restrained from i
when I fell into a kind of vision upon this by the kind endeavours of our above-men
subject, and may therefore stand for a pro- tioned companion.
per introduction to a relation of it.

I found myself upon a naked shore, with
company whose afflicted countenances wit-
nessed their conditions. Before us flowed a
water, deep, silent, and called the river of
Tears, which, issuing from two fountains
on an upper ground, encompassed an island
that lay before us. The boat which plied
in it was old and shattered, having been
sometimes overset by the impatience and
haste of single passengers to arrive at the
other side. This immediately was brought
to us by Misfortune who steers it, and we
were all preparing to take our places, when
there appeared a woman of a mild and
composed behaviour, who began to deter
us from it, by representing the dangers
which would attend our voyage. Hereupon
some who knew her for Patience, and some
of those too who until then cried the loud-
est, were persuaded by her, and returned
back. The rest of us went in, and she
(whose good-nature would not suffer her to
forsake persons in trouble) desired leave to
accompany us, that she might at least ad-
minister some small comfort or advice
while we sailed. We were no sooner em-
barked but the boat was pushed off, the
sheet was spread; and being filled with
sighs, which are the winds of that country,
we made a passage to the farther bank,
through several difficulties of which the
most of us seemed utterly regardless.

When we landed, we perceived the island to be strangely overcast with fogs, which no brightness could pierce, so that a kind of gloomy horror sat always brooding over it. This had something in it very shocking to easy tempers, insomuch that some others, whom Patience had by this time gained over, left us here, and privily conveyed themselves round the verge of the island to find a ford by which she told them they might escape.

We had now gotten into the most dusk silent part of the island, and by the redou bled sounds of sighs, which made a dolefu whistling in the branches, the thickness of air, which occasioned faintish respiration and the violent throbbings of heart which more and more affected us, we found tha we approached the Grotto of Grief. It wa a wide, hollow, and melancholy cave, sunk deep in a dale, and watered by rivulet that had a colour between red and black These crept slow and half congealed amongst its windings, and mixed thei heavy murmurs with the echo of groan that rolled through all the passages. I the most retired parts of it sat the dolefu being herself; the path to her was strewed with goads, stings, and thorns; and her throne on which she sat was broken into a rock, with ragged pieces pointing upwards for her to lean upon. A heavy mist hung above her; her head oppressed with it re clined upon her arm. Thus did she reign over her disconsolate subjects, full of her self to stupidity, in eternal pensiveness, and the profoundest silence. On one side of her stood Dejection, just dropping into a swoon and Paleness, wasting to a skeleton; on the other side were Care inwardly tormented with imaginations, and Anguish suffering outward troubles to suck the blood from her heart in the shape of vultures. The whole vault had a genuine dismalness in it which a few scattered lamps, whose blueis) flames arose and sunk in their urns, dis covered to our eyes with increase. Som of us fell down, overcome and spent with what they suffered in the way, and wer given over to those tormenters that stoo on either hand of the presence; other galled and mortified with pain, recovered the entrance, where Patience, whom w had left behind, was still waiting to re ceive us.

For my part, I still went along with With her (whose company was now be those who were for piercing into the cen- come more grateful to us by the want w tre of the place; and joining ourselves to had found of her) we winded round th others whom we found upon the same jour-grotto, and ascended at the back of it, ou ney, we marched solemnly as at a funeral, of the mournful dale in whose bottom it lay through bordering hedges of rosemary, and through a grove of yew-trees, which love to overshadow tombs and flourish in the church-yards. Here we heard on every side the wailings and complaints of several of the inhabitants, who had cast themselves disconsolately at the feet of trees; and as we chanced to approach any of these we might perceive them wringing their hands, beating their breasts, tearing their hair, or after some other manner, visibly agitated with vexation. Our sorrows were

On this eminence we halted, by her advice to pant for breath; and lifting our eyes which until then were fixed downwards felt a sullen sort of satisfaction, in observ ing, through the shades, what numbers ha entered the island. This satisfaction, which appears to have ill-nature in it, was ex cusable, because it happened at a time when we were too much taken up with our own concern, to have respect to that of others; and therefore we did not consider them as suffering, but ourselves as not suf

fering in the most forlorn estate. It had also the ground-work of humanity and compassion in it, though the mind was then too dark and too deeply engaged to perceive it: but as we proceeded onward, it began to discover itself, and, from observing that others were unhappy, we came to question one another, when it was that we met, and what were the sad occasions that brought us together. Then we heard our stories, and compared them, we mutually gave and received pity, and so by degrees became tolerable company.

as their own respective studies and inclinations have prepared them, and make their reflections accordingly. Some, perusing Roman writers, would find in them, whatever the subject of the discourses were, parts which implied the grandeur of that people in their warfare, or their politics. As for my part, who am a mere Spectator, I drew this morning conclusions of their eminence in what I think great, to wit, in having worthy sentiments, from the reading a comedy of Terence. The play was the SelfTormentor. It is from the beginning to the end a perfect picture of human life; but I did not observe in the whole one passage that could raise a laugh. How well-disposed must that people be, who could be entertained with satisfaction by so sober and polite mirth! In the first scene of the comedy, when one of the old men accuses the other of impertinence for interposing in his affairs, he answers, I am a man, and cannot help feeling any sorrow that can arrive at man.'* It is said this sentence was received with an universal applause. There cannot be a greater argument of the gene

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A considerable part of the troublesome road was thus deceived; at length the openings among the trees grew larger, the air seemed thinner, it lay with less oppression upon us, and we could now and then discern tracks in it of a lighter grayness, like the breakings of day, short in duration, much enlivening, and called in that country gleams of amusement. Within a short while these gleams began to appear more frequent, and then brighter and of a longer Continuance: the sighs that hitherto filled the air with so much dolefulness, altered to the sound of common breezes, and in gene-ral good understanding of a people than a ral the horrors of the island were abated. sudden consent to give their approbation of When we had arrived at last at the ford a sentiment which has no emotion in it. If by which we were to pass out, we met with it were spoken with ever so great skill in those fashionable mourners who had been the actor, the manner of uttering that senferried over along with us, and who, being tence could have nothing in it which could willing to go as far as we, had coasted strike any but people of the greatest huby the shore to find the place, where they manity, nay, people elegant and skilful in waited our coming; that by showing them- observations upon it. It is possible he might selves to the world only at the time when have laid his hand on his breast, and, with we did, they might seem also to have been a winning insinuation in his countenance, among the troubles of the grotto. Here the expressed to his neighbour that he was a waters that rolled on the other side so deep man who made his case his own; yet I will and silent were much dried up, and it was engage a player in Covent-garden might an easier matter for us to wade over. hit such an attitude a thousand times beThe river being crossed, we were re-fore he would have been regarded. I have ceived upon the farther bank by our friends and acquaintance, whom Comfort had brought out to congratulate our appearance in the world again. Some of these blamed us for staying so long away from them, others advised us against all temptations of going back; every one was cautious not to renew our trouble, by asking any particulars of the journey; and all concluded that, in a case of so much melancholy and affliction, we could not have made choice of a fitter companion than Patience. Here Patience, appearing serene at her praises, delivered us over to Comfort. Comfort smiled at his receiving the charge: immediately the sky purpled on that side to which he turned, and double day at once broke in upon me.

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heard that a minister of state in the reign
of queen Elizabeth had all manner of books
and ballads brought to him, of what kind
soever, and took great notice how much
they took with the people; upon which he
would, and certainly might, very well
judge of their present dispositions, and the
most proper way of applying them accord-
ing to his own purposes. What passes on
the stage, and the reception it meets with
from the audience, is a very useful instruc-
tion of this kind. According to what you
may observe on our stage, you see them
often moved so directly against all com-
mon sense and humanity, that
you would be
apt to pronounce us a nation of savages. It
cannot be called a mistake of what is plea-
sant, but the very contrary to it is what
most assuredly takes with them. The other
night, an old woman carried off with a pain
in her side, with all the distortions and an-
guish of countenance which is natural to
one in that condition, was laughed at and
clapped off the stage. Terence's comedy,

* Homo sum, et nihil humanum e me alienum puto.
I am a man, and all calamities,

That touch humanity, come home to me.-Colman.

which I am speaking of, is indeed written | whole house at some times in so proper
as if he hoped to please none but such as disposition, that indeed I have trembl
had as good a taste as himself. I could not for the boxes, and feared the entertai
but reflect upon the natural description of ment would end in a representation of th
the innocent young woman made by the rape of the Sabines.
servant to his master. "When I came to
the house,' said he, an old woman opened
the door, and I followed her in, because I
could, by entering upon them unawares,
better observe what was your mistress's
ordinary manner of spending her time, the
only way of judging any one's inclinations
and genius. I found her at her needle in a
sort of second mourning, which she wore
for an aunt she had lately lost. She had
nothing on but what showed she dressed
only for herself. Her hair hung negligently
about her shoulders. She had none of the
arts with which others use to set them-
selves off, but had that negligence of person
which is remarkable in those who are care-
ful of their minds. Then she had a maid
who was at work near her that was a slat-
tern, because her mistress was careless;
which I take to be another argument of
your security in her; for the go-betweens
of women of intrigue are rewarded too well
to be dirty. When you were named, and
I told her you desired to see her, she threw
down her work for joy, covered her face,
and decently hid her tears.' He must be
a very good actor, and draw attention ra-
ther from his own character than the words
of the author, that could gain it among us
for this speech, though so full of nature and
good sense.

The intolerable folly and confidence of players putting in words of their own, does in a great measure feed the absurd taste of the audience. But however that is, it is ordinary for a cluster of coxcombs to take up the house to themselves, and equally insult both the actors and the company. These savages, who want all manner of regard and deference to the rest of mankind, come only to show themselves to us, without any other purpose than to let us know they despise us.

The gross of an audience is composed of two sorts of people, those who know no pleasure but of the body, and those who improve or command corporeal pleasures, by the addition of fine sentiments of the mind. At present, the intelligent part of the company are wholly subdued by the insurrections of those who know no satisfactions but what they have in common with all other animals.

This is the reason that when a scene tending to procreation is acted, you see the whole pit in such a chuckle, and old letchers, with mouths open, stare at those loose gesticulations on the stage with shameful earnestness: when the justest pictures of human life in its calm dignity, and the properest sentiments for the conduct of it, pass by like mere narration, as conducing only to somewhat much better which is to come after. I have seen the

I would not be understood in this talk argue that nothing is tolerable on the sta but what has an immediate tendency to th promotion of virtue. On the contrary, can allow, provided there is nothing again the interests of virtue, and is not offensi to good manners, that things of an indiffe ent nature may be represented. For th reason I have no exception to the wel drawn rusticities in the Country Wak and there is something so miraculous pleasant in Dogget's acting the awkwar triumph and comic sorrow of Hob in diffe ent circumstances, that I shall not be ab to stay away whenever it is acted. All tha vexes me is, that the gallantry of takin the cudgels for Gloucestershire, with th pride of heart in tucking himself up, an taking aim at his adversary, as well as th other's protestation in the humanity of lo romance, that he could not promise th 'squire to break Hob's head, but he would if he could do it in love; then flourish an begin: I say what vexes me is, that suc excellent touches as these, as well as th 'squire's being out of all patience at Hob success, and venturing himself into th crowd, are circumstances hardly taken no tice of, and the height of the jest is only i the very point that heads are broken. am confident, were there a scene written wherein Pinkethman should break his le by wrestling with Bullock, and Dick come in to set it, without one word said bu what should be according to the exact rule of surgery, in making this extension, an binding up his leg, the whole house shoul be in a roar of applause at the dissemble anguish of the patient, the help given b him who threw him down, and the hand address and arch looks of the surgeon To enumerate the entrance of ghosts, th embattling of armies, the noise of heroe in love, with a thousand other enormi ties, would be to transgress the bound of this paper, for which reason it is possi ble they may have hereafter distinct dis courses; not forgetting any of the audienc who shall set up for actors, and interrup the play on the stage; and players wh shall prefer the applause of fools to that of the reasonable part of the company. T.

Postscript to the Spectator, No. 502. N. B. There are in the play of the Self Tormentor of Terence, which is allowed most excellent comedy, several incident which would draw tears from any man of sense, and not one which would move hi laughter.-Spect. in folio, No. 521.

This speculation, No. 502, is controverted in the Guard. No. 59, by a writer under the fictitious name of John Lizard; perhaps Doctor Edw. Young.

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