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forming a remove from one place to an-
other. I should be a cure for the unnatural
desire of John Trot for dancing, and a spe-
cific to lessen the inclination Mrs. Fidget
has to motion, and cause her always to give
her approbation to the present place she
is in. In fine, no Egyptian mummy was
ever half so useful in physic, as I should be
to these feverish constitutions, to repress
the violent sallies of youth, and give each
action its proper weight and repose.

I can stifle any violent inclination, and
oppose a torrent of anger, or the solicita-
tions of revenge, with success. Indolence
is a stream which flows slowly on, but yet
undermines the foundation of every virtue.
A vice of a more lively nature were a more
desirable tyrant than this rust of the mind,
which gives a tincture of its nature to every
action of one's life. It were as little hazard
to be lost in a storm, as to lie thus perpe-
tually becalmed: and it is to no purpose to
have within one the seeds of a thousand good
qualities, if we want the vigour and resolu-
tion necessary for the exerting them. Death
brings all persons back to an equality; and
this image of it, this slumber of the mind,
leaves no difference between the greatest
genius, and the meanest understanding. A
faculty of doing things remarkably praise-
worthy, thus concealed, is of no more use
to the owner than a heap of gold to the man

who dares not use it.

"To-morrow is still the fatal time when all is to be rectified. To-morrow comes, it goes, and still I please myself with the shadow, whilst I lose the reality: unmindful that the present time alone is ours, the future is yet unborn, and the past is dead, and can only live (as parents in their children,) in the actions it has produced.

acquired his eloquence. Seneca in his let ters to Lucilius assures him there was not a day in which he did not either write something, or read and epitomize some good author; and I remember Pliny in one of his letters, where he gives an account of the various methods he used to fill up every vacancy of time, after several employments which he enumerates; "Sometimes," says he, "I hunt but even then I carry me a pocket-book, that whilst my servants are busied in disposing of the nets and other matters, I may be employed in something that may be useful to me in my studies; and that if I miss of my game, I may at the least bring home some of my own thoughts with me, and not have the mortification of having caught nothing all day."


Thus, sir, you see how many examples I recall to mind, and what arguments I use with myself to regain my liberty: but as I am afraid it is no ordinary persuasion that will be of service, I shall expect your thoughts on this subject with the greatest impatience, especially since the good will not be confined to me alone, but will be of universal use. For there is no hope of amendment where men are pleased with their ruin, and whilst they think laziness is a desirable character; whether it be that they like the state itself, or that they think it gives them a new lustre when they do exert themselves, seemingly to be able to do that without labour and application, which others attain to but with the greatest diligence. I am, sir, your most obliged hum ble servant, SAMUEL SLACK.'

Clytander to Cleone.

'MADAM,-Permission to love you is all that I desire, to conquer all the difficulties those about you place in my way, to sur mount and acquire all those qualifications you expect in him who pretends to the honour of being, madam, your most devoted humble servant,



-Fruges consumere nati. Hor. Ep. ii. Lib. 1.7.
-Born to drink and eat. Creech

The time we live ought not to be computed by the number of years, but by the use that has been made of it; thus, it is not the extent of ground, but the yearly rent, which gives the value to the estate. Wretched and thoughtless creatures, in the only place where covetousness were a virtue, we turn prodigals! Nothing lies upon our hands with such uneasiness, nor have No. 317.] Tuesday, March 4, 1711-12 there been so many devices for any one thing, as to make it slide away imperceptibly and to no purpose. A shilling shall be hoarded up with care, whilst that which is above the price of an estate is flung away death, asked his friends who stood about AUGUSTUS, a few minutes before his with disregard and contempt. There is him, if they thought he had acted his par nothing now-a-days, so much avoided, as a well; and upon receiving such an answer solicitous improvement of every part of as was due to his extraordinary merit, 'Let time; it is a report must be shunned as one tenders the name of a wit and a fine genius, me, then,' says he, go off the stage with and as one fears the dreadful character of your applausc; using the expression with a laborious plodder: but notwithstanding at the conclusion of a dramatic piece. which the Roman actors made their exit this, the greatest wits any age has pro- could wish that men, while they duced thought far otherwise; for who can

are in

think either Socrates or Demosthenes lost health, would consider well the nature of any reputation by their continual pains both the part they are engaged in, and what in overcoming the defects and improving figure it will make in the minds of those the gifts of nature? All are acquainted with they leave behind them, whether it was the labour and assiduity with which Tully

Vos valete et plaudite

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worth coming into the world for; whether be suitable to a reasonable being; in short, hether it appears graceful in this life, or ill turn to an advantage in the next. Let ne sycophant, or the buffoon, the satirist, the good companion, consider with himelf, when his body shall be laid in the Tave, and his soul pass into another state f existence, how much it will redound to is praise to have it said of him that no an in England ate better, that he had an dmirable talent at turning his friends into dicule, that nobody out-did him at an illatured jest, or that he never went to bed efore he had despatched his third bottle. These are, however, very common funeral rations and eulogiums on deceased perons who have acted among mankind with me figure and reputation.

But if we look into the bulk of our speies, they are such as are not likely to be emembered a moment after their disapearance. They leave behind them no aces of their existence, but are forgotten though they had never been. They are either wanted by the poor, regretted by e rich, nor celebrated by the learned. They are neither missed in the commonealth, nor lamented by private persons. Their actions are of no significancy to manind, and might have been performed by reatures of much less dignity than those ho are distinguished by the faculty of reaon. An eminent French author speaks omewhere to the following purpose: I ave often seen from my chamber winow two noble creatures, both of them of nerect_countenance and endowed with eason. These two intellectual beings are mployed from morning to night in rubbing wo smooth stones one upon another; that as the vulgar phrase is, in polishing arble.

Hours ten, eleven, and twelve. Smoked
three pipes of Virginia. Read the Supple-
ment and Daily Courant. Things go ill in
the north. Mr. Nisby's opinion thereupon.
One o'clock in the afternoon. Chid Ralph
for mislaying my tobacco-box.

Two o'clock. Sat down to dinner. Mem.
Too many plumbs, and no suet.
From three to four. Took my


From four to six.
Wind S. S. E.


Walked in the fields.

From six to ten. At the Club. Mr.
Nisby's opinion about the peace.

Ten o'clock. Went to bed, slept sound.

TUESDAY, being holiday, eight o'clock,
rose as usual.

Nine o'clock. Washed hands and face,
shaved, put on my double-soled shoes.
Ten, eleven, twelve. Took a walk to

One. Took a pot of Mother Cob's mild.
Between two and three. Returned, dined
on a knuckle of veal and bacon. Mem.
Sprouts wanting.

Three. Nap as usual.

From four to six. Coffee-house. Read the news. A dish of twist. Grand vizier strangled.

From six to ten. At the club. Mr. Nis

by's account of the Great Turk.

Ten. Dream of the grand vizier. Broken sleep.

WEDNESDAY, eight o'clock. Tongue of my shoe-buckle broke. Hands but not face.

Nine. Paid off the butcher's bill. Mem. To be allowed for the last leg of mutton. Ten, eleven. At the Coffee-house. More work in the north. Stranger in a black wig asked me how stocks went.

From twelve to one. Walked in the
fields. Wind to the south.

My friend, Sir Andrew Freeport, as we
ere sitting in the club last night, gave us
account of a sober citizen, who died a
ew days since. This honest man being of
reater consequence in his own thoughts
an in the eye of the world, had for some
ears past kept a journal of his life. Sir An-
rew showed us one week of it. Since the From four to six. At the coffee-house.
ccurrences set down in it mark out such a Advice from Smyrna that the grand vizier
ad of action as that I have been speaking was first of all strangled, and afterwards
I shall present my reader with a faith-beheaded.

From one to two. Smoked a pipe and a

Two. Dined as usual. Stomach good. Three. Nap broke by the falling of a pewter dish. Mem. Cook-maid in love, and grown careless.



of it; after having first informed Six o'clock in the evening. Was half im, that the deceased person had in his an hour in the club before any body else outh been bred to trade, but finding him- came. elf not so well turned for business, he had r several years last past lived altogether pon a moderate annuity.* MONDAY, eight o'clock. I put on my othes and walked into the parlour. Nine o'clock ditto. Tied my knee-strings, d washed my hands.

Mr. Nisby of opinion that the grand vizier was not strangled the sixth instant.

It has been conjectured that this journal was inaded to ridicule a gentleman who was a member of congregation named Independents, where a Mr. Nesofficiated as minister. See John Dunton's account his Life, Errors and Opinions

Ten at night. Went to bed. Slept with-
out waking until nine the next morning.

THURSDAY, nine o'clock. Staid within
until two o'clock for Sir Timothy; who did
not bring me my annuity according to his
Sat down to din-
Small-beer sour,

Two in the afternoon.
Loss of appetite.
Beef over-corned.


Three. Could not take my nap.

Four and five. Gave Ralph a box on the ear. Turned off my cook-maid. Sent a messenger to Sir Timothy. Mem. I did not go to the club to night. Went to bed at nine o'clock.

FRIDAY. Passed the morning in meditation upon Sir Timothy, who was with me a quarter before twelve.

Twelve o'clock. Bought a new head to my cane, and a tongue to my buckle. Drank a glass of purl to recover appetite.

Two and three. Dined and slept well.
From four to six. Went to the coffee-
house. Met Mr. Nisby there. Smoked
several pipes. Mr. Nisby of opinion that
laced coffee is bad for the head."

Six o'clock. At the club as steward.
Sat late.

Twelve o'clock. Went to bed, dreamt that
I drank small beer with the grand vizier.

SATURDAY. Waked at eleven, walked
in the fields, wind N. E.

Twelve. Caught in a shower.
One in the afternoon. Returned home
and dried myself.

Two. Mr. Nisby dined with me. First
course, marrow-bones; second, ox-cheek,

with a bottle of Brooks and Hellier.

Three. Overslept myself.
Six. Went to the club. Like to have
fallen into a gutter. Grand vizier certainly

dead, &c.

No. 318.] Wednesday, March 5, 1711-12

-non omnia possumus omnes.

Virg. Ecl. viii. 63. With different talents form'd, we variously excel.*


'MR. SPECTATOR,-A certain vice, yet been considered by you as growing so which you have lately attacked, has not deep in the heart of man, that the affectahave observed, that men who have been tion outlives the practice of it. You must bred in arms preserve to the most extreme and feeble old age, a certain daring in their passed their time in gallantry and advenaspect. In like manner, they who have ture, keep up, as well as they can, the pearance of it, and carry a petulant inclination to their last moments. Let this serve for a preface to a relation I am going not only been amorous, and a follower of to give you of an old beau in town, that has women in general, but also, in spite of the admonition of grey hairs, been from his sixty-third year to his present seventieth, in an actual pursuit of a young lady, the wife of his friend, and a man of merit. The gay old Escalus has wit, good health, and is perfectly well-bred; but from the fashion his bloom, has such a natural tendency to and manners of the court when he was in amorous adventure, that he thought it would be an endless reproach to him to at a gentleman's house, whose good hu make no use of a familiarity he was allowed mour and confidence exposed his wife to I question not but the reader will be sur- the addresses of any who should take it in prised to find the above-mentioned journal- their head to do him the good office. It is ist taking so much care of a life that was not impossible that Escalus might also refilled with such inconsiderable actions, and sent that the husband was particularly ne received so very small improvements; and gligent of him; and though he gave many yet, if we look into the behaviour of many intimations of a passion towards the wife, whom we daily converse with, we shall find the husband either did not see them, or put that most of their hours are taken up in him to the contempt of overlooking them. those three important articles of eating, In the mean time Isabella, for so we shall drinking, and sleeping. I do not suppose call our heroine, saw his passion, and rethat a man loses his time, who is not en-joiced in it, as a foundation for much diver gaged in public affairs, or in an illustrious sion, and an opportunity of indulging her course of action. On the contrary, I believe self in the dear delight of being admired, our hours may very often be more profit- addressed to, and flattered, with no ill ably laid out in such transactions as make consequence to her reputation. This lady no figure in the world, than in such as are is of a free and disengaged behaviour, apt to draw upon them the attention of ever in good-humour, such as is the image mankind. One may become wiser and bet- of innocence with those who are innocent, ter by several methods of employing one's and an encouragement to vice with those self in secrecy and silence, and do what is who are abandoned. From this kind of laudable without noise or ostentation. I carriage, and an apparent approbation of would, however, recommend to every one his gallantry, Escalus had frequent oppor of my readers, the keeping a journal of tunities of laying amorous epistles in her their lives for one week, and setting down way, of fixing his eyes attentively upon her. punctually their whole series of employ-actions, of performing a thousand little of ments during that space of time. This fices which are neglected by the unconcern kind of self-examination would give them ed, but are so many approaches towards a true state of themselves, and incline them happiness with the enamoured. It was to consider seriously what they are about. now, as is above hinted, almost the end of One day would rectify the omissions of the seventh year of his passion, when Es another, and make a man weigh all those calus, from general terms, and the ambigu indifferent actions, which though they are easily forgotten, must certainly be accounted for. L

The motto to this paper in folio was, 'Rideat, of pulset lasciva decentius estas-Her

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ness has not destroyed the esteem I had for
you, which was confirmed by so many years
of obstinate virtue. You have reason to re-
joice that this did not happen within the
observation of one of the young fellows, who
would have exposed your weakness, and
gloried in his own brutish inclinations.
"I am, Madam, your most devoted hum-
ble servant.

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returned the following answer:
'Isabella, with the help of her husband,


ous respect which criminal lovers retain in heir addresses, began to bewail that his passion grew too violent for him to answer any longer for his behaviour towards her, and that he hoped she would have consiHeration for his long and patient respect, o excuse the emotions of a heart now no onger under the direction of the unhappy owner of it. Such, for some months, had Deen the language of Escalus, both in his alk and his letters to Isabella, who reurned all the profusion of kind things which had been the collection of fifty years, "SIR,-I cannot but account myself a with "I must not hear you; you will make very happy woman, in having a man for me forget that you are a gentleman; I would lover that can write so well, and give so not willingly lose you as a friend;" and the good a turn to a disappointment. Another Like expressions, which the skilful inter-excellence you have above all other preDret to their own advantage, as well know-tenders I ever heard of; on occasions where ng that a feeble denial is a modest assent. the most reasonable men lose all their reashould have told you, that Isabella, during son, you have yours most powerful. We he whole progress of this amour, commu- have each of us to thank our genius that icated it to her husband; and that an ac- the passion of one abated in proportion Count of Escalus's love was their usual en- as that of the other grew violent. Does it Certainment after half a day's absence. not yet come into your head to imagine, sabella therefore, upon her lover's late that I knew my compliance was the greatmore open assaults, with a smile told her est cruelty I could be guilty of towards husband she could hold out no longer, but you? In return for your long and faithful that his fate was now come to a crisis. After passion, I must let you know that you are she had explained herself a little farther, old enough to become a little more gravity; with her husband's approbation, she pro- but if you will leave me, and coquet it any ceeded in the following manner. time that Escalus was alone with her, and The next where else, may your mistress yield. "ISABELLA." repeated his importunity, the crafty Isabella looked on her fan with an air of great attention, as considering of what impor- No. 319.] Thursday, March 6, 1711-12. tance such a secret was to her; and upon repetition of a warm expression, she looked him he was past that time of life which at him with an eye of fondness, and told could make her fear he would boast of a ady's favour; then turned away her head, with a very well acted confusion, which favoured the escape of the aged Escalus. papers to do justice to the age, and have This adventure was matter of great plea- taken care, as much as possible, to keep antry to Isabella and her spcuse; and they myself a neuter between both sexes. I have had enjoyed it two days before Escalus neither spared the ladies out of complaiCould recollect himself enough to form the sance, nor the men out of partiality, but following letter: notwithstanding the great integrity with which I have acted in this particular, I



Quo teneam vultus mutantem Protea nodo?
Hor. Ep. i. Lib. 1. 90.
Say while they change on thus, what chains can bind
These varying forms, this Proteus of the mind?

I HAVE endeavoured in the course of my

'MR. SPECTATOR,-I always make one

lay gives me a lively image of the incon-vour my own half of the species. Whether "MADAM,-What happened the other find myself taxed with an inclination to faSistency of human passions and inclinations. it be that the women afford a more fruitful We pursue what we are denied, and place field for speculation, or whether they run Our affections on what is absent, though we more in my head than the men, I cannot neglected it when present. As long as you tell; but I shall set down the charge as it refused my love, your refusal did so strongly is laid against me in the following letter. Excite my passion, that I had not once the think of recalling my reason to aid me against the design upon your virtue. among a company of young females, who But when that virtue began to comply in peruse your speculations every morning. I my favour, my reason made an effort over am at present commissioned by our whole my love, and let me see the baseness of my assembly to let you know, that we fear you Dehaviour in attempting a woman of honour. are a little inclined to be partial towards own to you, it was not without the most your own sex. iolent struggle that I gained this victory knowledge, with all due gratitude, that in and myself; nay, I will confess my shame, some cases you have given us our revenge

eisure to

We must, however, ac

End acknowledge, I could not have pre-on the men, and done us justice. We could beg that you will believe a moment's weak-in the dissection of the coquette's heart, if ailed but by flight. However, madam, I not easily have forgiven you several strokes


you had not, much about the same time, ; upon the hat and feather; however, to wipe made a sacrifice to us of a beau's skull. off the present imputation, and gratify my 'You may further, sir, please to remem-female correspondent, I shall here print a ber, that not long since you attacked our letter which I lately received from a man hoods and commodes in such a manner, as, of mode, who seems to have a very extrato use your own expression, made very ordinary genius in his way. many of us ashamed to show our heads. We must therefore beg leave to represent to you that we are in hopes, if you will please to make a due inquiry, the men in all ages would be found to have been little less whimsical in adorning that part than ourselves. The different forms of their wigs, together with the various cocks of their hats, all flatter us in this opinion.

I had an humble servant last summer,

who the first time he declared himself, was in a full-bottomed wig; but the day after, to my no small surprise, he accosted me in a thin natural one. received him at this

our second interview as a perfect stranger, but was extremely confounded when his speech discovered who he was. I resolved, therefore to fix his face in my memory for the future; but as I was walking in the Park the same evening, he appeared to me in one of those wigs that I think you call a night-cap, which had altered him more effectually than before. He afterwards played a couple of black riding-wigs upon me with the same success, and, in short, as

sumed a new face almost every day in the first month of his courtship.

I observed afterwards, that the variety of cocks into which he moulded his hat, had not a little contributed to his impositions

upon me.

Yet, as if all these ways were not sufficient to distinguish their heads, you must doubtless, sir, have observed, that great numbers of young fellows have, for several months last past, taken upon them to wear feathers.

We hope, therefore, that these may, with as much justice, be called Indian princes, as you have styled a woman in a coloured hood an Indian queen; and that you will in due time take these airy gentlemen into consideration.

We the more earnestly beg that you would put a stop to this practice, since it has already lost us one of the most agreeable members of our society, who after having refused several good estates, and two titles, was lured from us last week by

a mixed feather.

"I am ordered to present you with the

respects of our whole company, and am, "Sir, your very humble servant,


Note. The person wearing the feather, though our friend took him for an officer in the guards, has proved to be an errant linendraper.**

I am not now at leisure to give my opinion

* Only an ensign in the train-bands. Spect, in folio.

'SIR,-I presume I need not inform you, that among men of dress it is a common phrase to say, "Mr. Such-a-one has struck a bold stroke;" by which we understand, that he is the first man who has had courage enough to lead up a fashion. Accordingly, when our tailors take measure of us, they plain suit, or strike a bold stroke?" I think always demand "whether we will have a


without vanity say, that I have struck some of the boldest and most successful strokes of any man in Great Britain. I was the first that struck the long pocket about two years since; I was likewise the author of the frosted button, which when I saw the town come readily into, being resolved to strike while the iron was hot, I produced the knotted cravat, and made a fair push much about the same time the scallop flap, for the silver-clocked stocking.

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A few months after I brought up the modish jacket, or the coat with close sleeves. I struck this at first in a plain

Doily; but that failing, I struck it a second time in a blue camlet, and repeated the it took effect. There are two or three stroke in several kinds of cloth, until at last

young fellows at the other end of the town who have always their eye upon me, and answer me stroke for stroke. I was once tion to a new-fashioned surtout before one so unwary as to mention my fancy in rela of these gentlemen, who was disingenuous enough to steal my thought, and by that means prevented my intended stroke. considerable innovations in the waistcoat; 'I have a design this spring to make very and have already begun with a coup d'ea upon the sleeves, which has succeeded

very well.


'I must further inform you, if will at me, that it is my design to strike such a promise to encourage, or at least to connive stroke the beginning of the next month as shall surprise the whole town.

I do not think it prudent to acquaint dress; but will only tell you, as a sample of you with all the particulars of my intended White's in a cherry-coloured hat. I took it, that I shall very speedily appear this hint from the ladies' hoods, which I look upon as the boldest stroke that sex has struck for these hundred years last past. I am, sir, your most obedient, most humble servant,


I have not time at present to make any reflections on this letter; but must not however omit that having shown it to Will Honeycomb, he desires to be acquainted with the gentleman who writ it. X.

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