Gentleness of Manners, with Firmness or I do not know any one rule fo unexceptionably useful and neceffary in every part of life, as to unite gentleness of manners with firmness of mind. The firft alone would degenerate and fink into a mean, timid complaifance, and paffiveness, if not supported and dignified by the latter, which would alfo deviate into impetuofity and brutality, if not tempered and foftened by the other; however they are seldom united. The warm, choleric man, with ftrong animal fpirits, despises the first, and thinks to carry all before him by the laft. He may, poffibly, by great accident, now and then fucceed, when he has only the weak and timid to deal with; but his general fate will be, to fhock, offend, be hated, and fail. On the other hand, the cunning, crafty man, thinks to gain all his ends by gentleness of manners only: he becomes all things to all men: he feems to have no opinion of his own, and fervilely adopts the present opinion of the present perfon; he infinuates himself only into the esteem of fools, but is foon detected, and furely defpifed by every body else. The wife man (who differs as much from the cunning as from the choleric man) alone joins foftness of manners with firmness of mind. The advantages arifing from an union of these qualities, are equally striking and obvious. For example, If you are in authority, and have a right to command, your commands delivered with mildness and gentlenefs, will be willingly, cheerfully, and consequently well obeyed: whereas, if given brutally, they will rather be interrupted than executed. For a cool steady resolution should fhew that where you have a right to command, you will be obeyed but at the fame time, a gentleness in the manner of enforcing that obedience, fhould make it a cheerful one, and foften, as much as poffible, the mortifying consciousness of inferiority. If If you are to afk a favour, or even to folicit your due, you must do it with a grace, or you will give those who have a mind to refuse you either, a pretence to do it, by resenting the manner; but on the other hand you must, by a steady perfeverance and decent tenaciousness, fhew firmness and refolution. you If have a hastiness in your temper, find that you which unguardedly breaks out into indiscreet fallies, or rough expreffions, to either your fuperiors, your equals, or your inferiors, watch it narrowly, check it carefully, and call the Graces to your affiftance: at the first impulse of paffion, be filent till you can be foft. Labour even to get the command of your countenance fo well, that those emotions may not be read in it: a most unspeakable advantage in business! on the other hand, let no complaifance, no gentleness of temper, no weak defire of pleafing on your part, no wheedling, coaxing, nor flattery on other people's, make you recede one jot from any point that reafon and prudence have bid you purfue; but return to the charge, perfift, perfevere, and you will find most things attainable that are poffible. A yielding, timid meekness is always abused and infulted by the unjust and the unfeeling; but when sustained by firmness and refolution, is always refpected, commonly fuccefsful. In your friendships and connections, as well as in your enmities, this rule is particularly useful: let your firmness and vigour preferve and invite attachments to you; but at the fame time, let your manner hinder the enemies of your friends and dependants from becoming yours: let your enemies be difarmed by the gentleness of your manner; but let them feel at the fame time, the steadiness of your just resentment; for there is great difference between bearing malice, which is always ungenerous, and a refolute felf-defence, which is always prudent and juftifiable. Some people cannot gain upon themselves to be easy. and civil to thofe who are either their rivals, competi A a tors, . tors, or oppofers, though independently of thofe accidental circumstances, they would like and esteem them. They betray a fhynefs and an awkwardness in company with them, and catch at any little thing to expose them; and fo from temporary and only occafional opponents, make them their perfonal enemies. This is exceedingly weak and detrimental, as indeed is all humour in bufinefs; which can only be carried on fuccessfully by unadulterated good policy and right reafoning. In fuch fituations I would be more particularly civil, eafy, and frank, with the man whose designs I traversed: this is commonly called generosity and magnanimity; but is in truth good sense and policy. The manner is as important as the matter, fometimes more fo; a favour may make an enemy, and an injury may make a friend, according to the different manner in which they are feverally done. In fine, gentleness of manners, with firmness of mind, is a fhort, but full defcription of human perfection on this fide of religious and moral duties. On the Moral Character. THE Moral Character of a man fhould be not only pure, but, like Cæfar's wife, unfufpected. The leaft fpeck or blemish upon it is fatal. Nothing degrades and vilifies more, for it excites and unites deteftation and contempt. There are, however, wretches in the world profligate enough to explode all notions of moral good and evil; to maintain that they are merely local, and depend entirely upon the customs and fashions of different countries: nay, there are still, if poffible, more unaccountable wretches; I mean those who affect to preach and propagate fuch abfurd and infamous notions, without believing them themselves. Avoid, as much as poffible, the company of fuch people, who reflect a degree degree of difcredit and infamy upon all who converse with them. But as you may fometimes, by accident, fall into fuch a company, take great care that no complaifance, no good-humour, no warmth of feftal mirth, ever make you feem even to acquiefce, much less approve or applaud, fuch infamous doctrines. On the other hand, do not debate, nor enter into ferious argument, upon a subject so much below it; but content yourself with telling them, that you know they are not ferious; that you have a much better opinion of them, than they would have you have; and that you are very fure they would not practise the doctrine they preach. But put your private mark upon them, and fhun them. for ever afterwards. There is nothing fo delicate as a man's moral character, and nothing which it is his interest so much to preferve pure. Should he be fufpected of injustice, malignity, perfidy, lying, &c. all the parts and knowledge in the world will never procure him esteem, friendship, or respect. I therefore recommend to you a moft fcrupulous tenderness for your moral character, and the utmost care not to fay or do the least thing that may, ever fo flightly, taint it. Show yourself, upon all occafions, the friend, but not the bully of virtue. Even Colonel Charteris (who was the moft notorious blasted rascal in the world, and who had, by all forts of crimes, amaffed immense wealth) sensible of the difadvantage of a bad character, was once heard to say, that, "though he would not give one farthing for virtue, " he would give ten thousand pounds for a character; "because he should get an hundred thousand pounds "by it." Is it poffible, then, that an honeft man can neglect what a wife rogue would purchase so dear? There is one of the vices above mentioned into which people of good education, and, in the main, of good principles, fometimes fall, from miftaken notions of fkill, dexterity, and felf-defence; I mean lying; though it is infeparably attended with more infamy and A a 2 lofs lofs than any other. But I have before given you my fentiments very freely on this fubject; I fhall, there fore, conclude this head with intreating you to be fcru pulously jealous of the purity of your moral character, keep it immaculate, unblemished, unfullied; and it will be unfufpected. Defamation and calumny never attack where there is no weak place; they magnify, but they do not create. |