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duft and cards and cobwebs all in one wild diforder
And this is the life of a Batchlor! Well may we fay with the poet, 'O woman! lovely woman-nature form'd you
To temper man,we had been brutes without you.
Some perking beau who looks as if juft come out of a band-box will perhaps fay the picture is unjuft-that he has known many an old Batchelor's house the very opposite of confufionyea both himself and his house as neat as a new made pin-I grant it my kind monitor and likewife as ftiff-The aukward formality of the one and barbarous confufion of the other equally fpeak their owner a ftranger to the endearments of focial life-to that fweeteft fociety the converfe of a happy family. He who has no tafte for fuch pleasures is too dull a being to deferve father regard.
I fufpect, Mr Printer your correfpondent who calls himself a Batchelor in N°11,is fome fuch being-Allow me to speak a word to him
Have you Mr Batchelor no faults of your own, that you can pass by none in the more amiable part of the fpecies? -Can you look on their faces and yet complain? Surely friend, you have never been in love-for lovers are blind to fuch faults as you complain of.Your advices are good, I will even own they are well worthy the serious attention of the fair-but why prefac'd with an affront-did you think in this wife age the Ladies would fall in love with you for telling them of their failings bestow a little care in rectifying what may be amifs in yourfelf, and be not over fond of appearing as one of thefe, Whofe only talent lies in prying And ev'ry little blemish fpying, In finding fault with that of this, And fomething that is ftill amifs: And then expect they should be thanked
Haft thou loft a fweet heart? or (as Ladylove fuppofes) has the refufed thee?-Go feek another, "There is as good fish in the fea as ever came out of it." Does a girl with four or five hundred pounds give herself the airs of a dutchefs?- take one with nothing, and you will be no lofer.-Did you ever confider Lettice's method of mak ing a fortune-out of the expences a wife wont put you to,-no bad way whatever you may think of it.—Tho' I have always thought that a woman fhould efteem herself as the best thing fhe can bring in marriage-yet if the think her fortune too much to bestow. on the man, on whom she would chearfully bestow herfelf without it,-why, let her keep it, you are better wanting her and it both. Would you buy a fortune-you may do it, but it may be at the expence of your happinefs."Marry aboon match and get a mafter," is a plain faying, but there is fense in it. If you find a virtuous woman,— her price is above rubies; and believe me for once, gold could not make fuch a one more valuable-for should riches (as often happens) take to themfelves wings and fly away, fhe will not increase the horrors of adverfity—on the contrary her fmiles will lighten your forrows, and you will find that better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a ftall'd ox and hatred therewith. Do you court a woman who has money-afk your own heart, would you take her if she had none-if it answer, no you may be rich, but you'll never be happy together.If you think that wealth can either increase or diminish the worth of the woman whom you would take as a companion for lifego-go-you would only make a vir- ́ tuous woman miferable- continue a Batchelor.
With picking holes in every blanket, Mefton.
Before I conclude Mr Printer I cannot help wondering at your correfpondents-One comes accufing us as a parcel of drunkards, another affirms there is not a more fober fet of people in the kingdom-the first retracts the B weight
weight of his charge-he meant only fome individuals-and after all the whole is a piece of plagiarism !-Here again Sir, a Batchlor comes accufing our young Ladies as looking down with a fupercilious eye on every one who may take the least notice of them— giving themselves foolish airs, and what not. -Immediately we hear from another that
'Grace is in all their steps-heav'n in their eyes,
fun, where they can find a continuance of their natural diet, and a temperature of air fuiting their conftitutions. That this is the cafe with fome fpeciesof European fwallows has been proved beyond contradiction by M. Adanson. We often obferve them collected in flocks innumerable on churches, on rocks, and on trees, previous to their departure hence; and Mr Collinfon proves their return here in equal numbers, by two curious relations of undoubted credit. The one communicated to him by Mr Wright, master of a fhip; the other by the late Sir Charles Wager; who both described (to the fame purpose) what happened to each in their voyages. "Returning home, fays Sir Charles, in the fpring of the year, as I came into founding of our channel, a great flock of swallows came and fettled on all my rigging; every rope was covered; they hung on one another like a swarm of bees: the decks and carving ware filled with them. They feemed almost famished and spent, and were only feathers and bones; but, being recruited with a night's reft, they took there flight in the morning. This vaft fatigue proves that their journey must have been very great, confidering the amazing swiftnefs of thefe birds: In all probability, they had croffed the Atlantic ocean, and were returning from the thores of Senegal, or other parts of Africa.
The fecond notion has great antiNo enemy to the Ladies. quity on its fide. Ariftotle and Pliny give, as their belief, that fwallows do not remove very far from their fummer habitation, but winter in the hollows of rocks, and during that time lofe their feathers. The former part of their opinion has been adopted by feveral ingenious men. Mr Collinfon adduces the evidence of three gentlemen, eye-witneffes to numbers of fand martins being drawn out of a cliff on the Rhine, in the month of March 1762. And the honourable Mr Daines Barrington, has obferved on the authority of the late lord Balhaven, that numbers
In every gefture dignity and love!' And by and by our Batchelor (like another Paleman I fuppofe) will tell us that the Ladies of Perth are a moft refpectable body-for whom he has as great a regard as any one poffibly can have and he meant it only of a very few of them'-and after all Mr Printer perhaps it is ftolen too - -I wish they would explain their meaning a little better at firft however and then there would be no occafion for corrections and re-corrections to the end of the chaper
One word more and I have done Sir, we have many amiable young Ladies and many worthy young men, and it is time they were married-now if any perfon or perfons can fhew any lawful impediment why thefe perfons fhould not be joined together in marriage, let them declare the fame in time and place convenient.'
Sept. 29 1772.
On the Disappearance of SWALLOWS. HERE are three opinions among naturalifts concerning the manner the wallow tribes difpofe of themfelves after their difappearance from the countries in which they make their fummer refidence.
Of the three opinions, the first has the utmoft appearance of probability; which is, that they remove nearer the
numbers of fwallows have been found in old dry walls and in fand-hills near his lordship's feat in eaft Lothian; not once only, but from year to year; and that, when they were exposed to the warmth of a fire, they revived. We have alfo heard of the fame annual discoveries near Morpeth in Northumberland, but cannot speak of them with the fame affurance as the two former; neither in the two laft inftances are we certain of the particular species.
aggeration, muft provoke a fmile. They affign not the smallest reason for thefe, birds being able to endure fo long a fubmerfion without being fuffocated, or without decaying, in an element fo unnatural to fo delicate a bird; when we know that the otter, the cormorant, and the grebes, foon perish, if caught under ice, or entangled in
The third notion is, of fwallows
paffing the winter immerfed under ice, IT is fomewhere faid in Scripture, a righteous man regardeth the life of his beaft." Certain it is, that a perfon of a humane and benevolent temper, will be kind, even to the brute creation. Of this I do not remember to have met with a more remarkable, or a more affecting instance, than in the following ftory, which is related of Subuctagi, an Indian Emperor, in the tenth century.
at the bottom of lakes, or lodged beneath the water of the fea at the foot of rocks. The firft who broached this opinion was Olaus Magnus, Archbishop of Upfal, who very gravely informs us, that these birds are often found in -clustered maffes at the bottom of the northern lakes, mouth to mouth, wing to wing, foot to foot; and that they creep down the reeds, in antumn, to their fubaqueous reseats. That, when old fishermen difcover fuch a mass, they throw it into the water again; but, when young unexperienced ones take it, they will, by thawing the birds at a fire, bring them indeed to the use of their wings, which will continue but a very fhort time, being owing to a premature and forced revival. Klein patronises the doctrine ftrongly, giving the following history of their manner of retiring, which he received from fome countrymen and others. They afferted, that fometimes the fwal. lows affembled in numbers on a reed, till it broke and funk with them to the bottom; and their immerfion was preluded by a dirge of a quarter of an hour's length. That others would unite in laying hold of a ftraw with their bills, and fo plunge down in fociety. Others again would form a large mafs by clinging together with their feet, and fo commit themselves to the deep. Such are the relations given by thofe that are fond of this opinion, and, though delivered without ex,
Subuctagi was at firft a private horseman in the fervice of Abiftagi, and being of a vigorus and active difpofition, ufed to hunt every day in the foreft. It happened one day as he employed himself in this amufement, that he faw a deer grazing with her young fawn; upon which,fpurring his horfe,he feized the fawn, and binding his legs, laid him across his faddle, and turned his face towards home. When he had rode a little way, he looked behind, and beheld the mother of the fawn follow him, and exhibiting every mark of extreme affliction, The foul of Subuctagi melted within him into pity; he untied the feet of the fawn, and generously restored him to his liberty. The happy mother turned her face to the wilderness, but often looked back upon Subuctagi, and the tears dropt faft from her eyes. Subuctagi is faid to have seen that night a figure, or apparition in his dream, who faid to him, "That generofity and compaffion which you have this day shown to a diftreffed animal, has been approved В 2 of
of in the prefence of God: therefore, in the records of providence, the kingdom Ghizni is marked as a reward against thy name. But let not great nefs deftroy your virtue, but thus continue your benevolence to men."
To the PUBLISHER of the PERTH
HERE is hardly any thing, merits the confideration of the public, more than inoculation of the fmall pox in children: and, as far as I remember, little notice has been taken thereof by our public writers, for fome time paft. If any obfervations then, I am to make upon it, fhall induce fome able hand to fet it in a proper light, and by dint of argument remove the rooted prejudice, of many parents and others against it, my end is gained, for, it is not the prejudice of education, that makes me write in favour of it; (having been from my youth taught the very reverfe;) neither can the practifing thereof, nor refraining from it, affect ine in the fmalleft degree: but mere compaffion, and the defire of having the lives of the young generation proJonged, are my only motives for this attempt. I fhall therefore endeavour to anfwer fome of the common objections tarted against this useful practice. And,
Firft it is objected, that by inoculation we bring a difeafe on our children, which otherwise might not feize them. To which it is answered; when that distemper rages in any place, there is hardly one of ten who efcapes it; and when we compare the inoculated with the natural fmall-pox, the firft fcarcely deferves the name of a difeafe, for, why fhould that be called a disease which feldom hinders the patients from following their diverfions, and recréa tions. Where as in the other cafe, the poor things are confined to bed, undergo a fevere fever, have the moft Joathfome appearance to beholders, endure the moft acute pain; and even
if they do recover, run a great risk of lofing their beauty. But,
Secondly it is objected againft, becaufe (fay fome) it is tempting Providence. This objection, I apprehend, has as little weight as the other; for, it rather appears to be a mean, which Providence has pointed out, for faving the lives of numbers of our fellow creatures. Is it any more tempting Providence than letting blood, than taking phyfic, or applying a blifter?All which are often done to prevent difeafes, and are frequently the caufe of a flight fever, little inferior to that of the inoculated small-pox.
The last objection I shall mention is this, (fay they) if the child die, we have a band in it, and can never excufe our felves. But daily experience fhows how little risk there is in that, for by the common computation, not one of eighty dies in this way; whereas in the other, perhaps one of four or five goes for it: but if that even should fometimes be the cafe, can we therefore juftly blame ourselves, for having a hand in one's death, when we are using every proper mean, to fave their life. I am informed from undoubted authority, that in the Weft-Indies, they fometimes inoculate four or five hundred negroes at one time; and perhaps not two of that whole number die; which was fo far from being the cafe, when that fatal diftemper came in the natural way, that many planters were half ruined, fo dreadful was the havock it made among thofe creatures. When we go from one part of the kingdom to another by fea, we are almost fure to bring a fit of ficknefs on ourselves, of which fome have died; fhall fuch be blamed for having a hand in their own death, merely for undertaking à lawful voyage. How readily will a perfon ftretch out his leg, or arm, tỏ be cut off, to prevent its communicating a mortification to the body; fhall we then grudge, to give our child a fmall fcratch, to prevent a total mor tification.
HERE is perhaps no country in the world where the name of Roman has been fo celebrated as in this of England; the prepoffeffion has been carried fo far that its very failings have been mistook for virtues, and applauded. It must indeed be allowed that there has been a great fimilitude between the two nations their love of free dom and the rapid progrefs they made in the arts and sciences, and extenfion of their empire; but it is to be feared, as our origin was the fame, our declenfion will be fo likewife; a comparifon between our industrious forefathers and the prefent diffipated race of mortals must prove the juftnefs of my fears; every day we are gaining ground towards the goal of deftruction,and the human invention is continually on the rack to find out new methods for the diffipation of our wealth and time.
The winter being paft, let us take a view of the difpofition of the fummer, and we fhall find it taken up in a continual round of diverfion, hurrying from place to place; from race to race, from Margate to Brighthelmftone, to Tun
bridge, to Southampton, to Weymouth, to Scarborough, Buxton, Matlock, and numberlefs others; near almost every capital town a fpring is found out, whofe virtues are cried up; a houfe is built on the fpot, company flock to it from all the country round, and imaginary difeafes are found out which the waters are faid to cure. How happy could they remove the univerfal fpirit of folly that has infected every rank of life, and promises soon, unlefs fpeedily removed, (like our great copy, ancient Rome) to prove the deftruction of the British empire!
Were luxury and diffipation alone confined to the nobility, the nation would not fo feverly feel the effects attending those fatal disorders; but the manners of the great will ever be a ftandard for the fmall. The noble families which formerly refided during the fummer on their country eftates, practising thofe old-fashioned virtues religion, hofpitality, and decorum are now to be found at the watering places, (names unknown to their ancestors) their manfions are left to the quiet poffeffion of a couple of old fervants and the folitary rocks, or if they do fometimes condefcend to visit them, their stay is fo fhort that one would imagine they only came to fee if they ftood in the fame place, or to invite the neighbouring corporation to dinner, in order to preferve it in its pliant and corrupted state. Such are our prefent nobility: as our ancient gentry, they have very few of them any houfes left fo vigorously have they pursued the fpirit of gaming, riot, and extravagance: the lower orders of the people, (if there are any, for diftinctions now are confounded) are equally immerged in their fashionable vices for very often the most brilliant drefs and equipage found at these fummer retreats, is equalled by an inhabitant of Cheapfide or Mincing-Lane.
Were thefe vices to infect the prefent age alone, we might hope a few years would fee an end to them; but unhappily.