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A DILLER, a dollar,

A ten o'clock scholar,

What makes you come so soon? You used to come at ten o'clock, But now you come at noon.


TELL tale, tit!

Your tongue shall be slit,
And all the dogs in the town
Shall have a little bit.


[The joke of the following consists in saying it so quick that it cannot be told whether it is English or gibberish. It is remarkable that the last two lines are quoted in MS. Sloan. 4, of the fifteenth century, as printed in the 'Reliq. Antiq.,' vol. i, p. 324.]

IN fir tar is,

In oak none is.
In mud eel is,
In clay none is.

Goat eat ivy,

Mare eat oats.


[The dominical letters attached to the first days of the several months are remembered by the following lines.]

AT Dover Dwells George Brown Esquire, Good Christopher Finch, And David Friar.

[An ancient and graver example, fulfilling the same purpose, runs as follows.]

Astra Dabit Dominus, Gratisque Beabit Egenos,

Gratia Christicolæ Feret Aurea Dona Fideli.


BIRCH and green holly, boys,


Birch and green holly.
you get beaten, boys,
"Twill be your own folly.


WHEN V and I together meet,
They make the number Six compleat.
When I with V doth meet once more,
Then 'tis they Two can make but Four.
And when that V from I is gone,
Alas! poor I can make but One.


Division is as bad;

The Rule of Three doth puzzle me,
And Practice drives me mad.


[The following memorial lines are by no means modern. They occur, with slight variations, in an old play, called 'The Returne from Parnassus,' 4to, Lond. 1606; and another version may be seen in Winter's 'Cambridge Almanac' for 1635. See the Rara Mathematica,' p. 119.]

THIRTY days hath September,
April, June, and November;
February has twenty-eight alone,
All the rest have thirty-one,
Excepting leap-year, that's the time
When February's days are twenty-nine.


My story's ended,
My spoon is bended:
If you don't like it,
Go to the next door,
And get it mended.


[On arriving at the end of a book, boys have a practice of reciting the following absurd lines, which form the word finis backwards and forwards, by the initials of the words,]

FATHER Iohnson Nicholas Iohnson's sonSon Iohnson Nicholas Iohnson's Father.

[To get to father Johnson, therefore, was to reach the end of the book.]


THE rose is red, the grass is green;
And in this book my name is seen.


CROSS patch,

Draw the latch,

Sit by the fire and spin;

Take a cup,

And drink it


Then call your neighbours in.


COME when you're called,
Do what you're bid,
Shut the door after you,
Never be chid.


SPEAK when you're spoken to,
Come when one call;

Shut the door after you,

And turn to the wall!


I LOVE my love with an A, because he's Agreeable.

I hate him because he's Avaricious.

He took me to the Sign of the Acorn,
And treated me with Apples.

His name's Andrew,

And he lives at Arlington.


[A laconic reply to a person who indulges much in supposition.]
IF ifs and ands,

Were pots and pans,

There would be no need for tinkers!

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