banish that Mahometan custom, which had too much prevailed even in this island, of treating women as if they had no souls. I must do them the justice to say, that there seems to be nothing wanting to the finishing of these lovely pieces of human nature, besides the turning and applying their ambition properly, and the keeping them up to a sense of what is their true merit. Epictetus, that plain, honest philosopher, as little as he had of gallantry, appears to have understood them, as well as the polite St. Evremont, and has hit this point very luckily. When young women,' says he, arrive at a certain age, they hear themselves called Mistresses, and are made to believe that their only business is to please the men; they immediately begin to dress, and place all their hopes in the adorning of their persons; it is therefore,' continues he, worth the while to endeavour by all means to make them sensible that the honour paid to them is only upon account of their conducting themselves with virtue, modesty, and discretion.'

Now, to pursue the matter yet further, and to render your cares for the improvement of the fair ones more effectual, I would propose a new method, like those applications which are said to convey their virtue by sympathy; and that is, that in order to embellish the mistress, you should give a new education to the lover, and teach the men not to be any longer dazzled by false charms and unreal beauty. I cannot but think that if our sex knew always how to place their esteem justly, the other would not be so often wanting to themselves in deserving it. For as the being enamoured with a woman of sense and virtue is an improvement to a man's understanding and morals, and the passion is ennobled by the object which inspires it; so on the other side, the appearing amiable to a man of a wise and elegant mind, carries in itself no small degree of merit and accomplishment. I conclude, therefore, that one way to make the women yet more agreeable is, to make the men more virtuous. I am, sir, your most humble servant, R. B.'

April 26th.

'SIR,-Yours of Saturday last I read, not without some resentment; but I will suppose, when you say you expect an inundation of ribands and brocades, and to see many new vanities which the women will fall into upon a peace with France, that you intend only the unthinking part of our sex; and what methods can reduce them to reason is hard to imagine.

the rules of honour and prudence; and
have thought it an observation not ill-made,
that where that was wholly denied, the
women lost their wit, and the men their
good manners. It is, sure, from those im-
proper liberties you mentioned, that a sort
of undistinguishing people shall banish
from their drawing-rooms the best-bred
men in the world, and condemn those that
do not. Your stating this point might, I
think, be of good use, as well as much
oblige, sir, your admirer and most humble
servant,
ANNA BELLA,'

No answer to this, till Anna Bella sends a description of those she calls the bestbred men in the world.

'MR. SPECTATOR,-I am a gentleman who for many years last past have been well known to be truly splenetic, and that my spleen arises from having contracted so great a delicacy, by reading the best authors, and keeping the most refined company, that I cannot bear the least impropriety of language, or rusticity of behaviour. Now, sir, I have ever looked upon this as a wise distemper; but by late observations find, that every heavy wretch, who has nothing to say, excuses his dulness by complaining of the spleen. Nay, I saw the other day, two fellows in a tavern kitchen set up for it, call for a pint and pipes, and only by guzzling liquor, to each other's health, and by wafting smoke in each other's face, pretend to throw off the spleen. I appeal to you whether these dishonours are to be done to the distemper of the great and the polite. I beseech you, sir, to inform these fellows that they have not the spleen, because they cannot talk without the help of a glass at their mouths, or convey their meaning to each other without the interposition of clouds. If y will not do this with all speed, I assure you, for my part, I will wholly quit the disease, and for the future be merry with the vulgar. I am, sir, your humble servant.'

you

'SIR,-This is to let you understand that I am a reformed Starer, and conceived a detestation for that practice from what you have writ upon the subject. But as you have been very severe upon the behaviour of us men at divine service, I hope you will not be so apparently partial to the women, as to let them go wholly unobserved. If they do every thing that is possible to_attract our eyes, are we more culpable than they, for looking at them? I happened last Sunday to be shut into a pew, which was full of young ladies in the bloom of youth and beauty. When the service began, I But, sir, there are others yet, that had not room to kneel at the confession, your instructions might be of great use to, but as I stood kept my eyes from wanderwho, after their best endeavours, are some-ing as well as I was able, till one of the times at a loss to acquit themselves to a censorious world. I am far from thinking you can altogether disapprove of conversation between ladies and gentlemen, regulated by

young ladies, who is a Peeper, resolved to bring down my looks and fix my devotion on herself. You are to know, sir, that a Peeper works with her hands, eyes, and

'Given at our court in Vinegar-yard, story the third from the earth, April 28, 1711.'

-Strenua nos exercet inertia.

R.

fan; one of which is continually in motion,
while she thinks she is not actually the ad-
miration of some ogler or starer in the con-
gregation. As I stood utterly at a loss how
to behave myself, surrounded as I was,
this Peeper so placed herself as to be No. 54.] Wednesday, May 2, 1711.
kneeling just before me. She displayed the
most beautiful bosom imaginable, which
heaved and fell with some fervour, while a
delicate well-shaped arm held a fan over
her face.. It was not in nature to command
one's eyes from this object. I could not
avoid taking notice also of her fan, which
had on it various figures very improper to
behold on that occasion. There lay in the
body of the piece a Venus under a purple
canopy furled with curious wreaths of dra-
pery, half naked, attended with a train of
Cupids, who were busy in fanning her as
she slept. Behind her was drawn a satyr
peeping over the silken fence, and threat-
ening to break through it. I frequently
offered to turn my sight another way, but
was still detained by the fascination of the
Peeper's eyes, who had long practised a
skill in them, to recal the parting glances
of her beholders. You see my complaint,
and I hope you will take these mischievous
people, the Peepers, into your considera-
tion. I doubt not but you will think a
Peeper as much more pernicious than a
Starer, as an ambuscade is more to be fear-
ed than an open assault. I am, Sir, your
most obedient servant.

Hor. Lib. 2. Ep. xi. 28.
Laborious idleness our powers employs..

I have received from the learned university THE following letter being the first that of Cambridge, I could not but do myself the honour of publishing it. It gives an account of a new sect of philosophers which has arose in that famous residence of learning; and is, perhaps, the only sect this age is likely to produce.

This Peeper using both fan and eyes, to be considered as a Pict, and proceed accordingly.

'KING LATINUS to the SPECTATOR, greeting.

But I would have

Cambridge, April 26. 'MR. SPECTATOR,-Believing you to be an universal encourager of liberal arts and sciences, and glad of any information from the learned world, I thought an account of a sect of philosophers, very frequent among us, but not taken notice of as far as I can remember, by any writers, either ancient or modern, would not be unacceptable to you. The philosophers of this sect are in the language of our university called Loungers. I am of opinion, that, as in many other things, so likewise in this, the ancients have been defective; viz: in mentioning no philosophers of this sort. Some indeed will affirm that they are a kind of Peripatetics, because we see them continually walking about. these gentlemen consider, that though the ancient Peripatetics walked much, yet they wrote much also; witness, to the sorrow of this sect, Aristotle and others; whereas it Though some may think we descend is notorious that most of our professors from our imperial dignity, in holding cor- never lay out a farthing either in pen, ink, respondence with a private literato; yet as or paper. Others are for deriving them we have great respect to all good inten- from Diogenes, because several of the leadtions for our service, we do not esteem it ing men of the sect have a great deal of beneath us to return you our royal thanks cynical humour in them, and delight much for what you have published in our behalf, in sunshine. But then, again, Diogenes was while under confinement in the enchanted content to have his constant habitation in a castle of the Savoy, and for your mention of narrow tub, whilst our philosophers are so a subsidy for a prince in misfortune. This far from being of his opinion, that it is your timely zeal has inclined the hearts of death to them to be confined within the divers to be aiding unto us, if we could limits of a good handsome convenient champropose the means. We have taken their ber but for half an hour. Others there are good-will into consideration, and have con- who from the clearness of their heads detrived a method which will be easy to duce the pedigree of loungers from that those who shall give the aid, and not unac- great man (I think it was either Plato or ceptable to us who receive it. A concert Socrates) who, after all his study and of music shall be prepared at Haberdash-learning, professed, that all he then knew er's-hall, for Wednesday the second of May, and we will honour the said entertainment with our own presence, where each person shall be assessed but at two shillings and sixpence. What we expect from you is, that you publish these our royal intentions, with injunction that they be read at all tea-tables within the cities of London and Westminster; and so we bid you heartily farewell.

'LATINUS, King of the Volscians.

was, that he knew nothing. You easily see this is but a shallow argument, and may be soon confuted.

'I have with great pains and industry made my observation from time to time upon these sages; and having now all materials ready, am compiling a treatise, wherein I shall set forth the rise and progress of this famous sect, together with their maxims, austerities, manner of living, &c. Having prevailed with a friend who

designs shortly to publish a new edition of Diogenes Laertius, to add this treatise of mine by way of supplement; I shall now, to let the world see what may be expected from me (first begging Mr. Spectator's leave that the world may see it) briefly touch upon some of my chief observations, and then subscribe myself your humble servant. In the first place I shall give you two or three of their maxims: the fundamental one, upon which their whole system is built, is this, viz. That time being an implacable enemy to, and destroyer of all things, ought to be paid in his own coin, and be destroyed and murdered without mercy, by all the ways that can be invented." Another favourite saying of theirs is, That business was only designed for knaves, and study for blockheads.' A third seems to be a ludicrous one, but has a great effect upon their lives; and is this, That the devil is at home.' Now for their manner of living: and here I have a large field to expatiate in; but I shall reserve particulars for my intended discourse, and now only mention one or two of their principal exercises. The elder proficients employ themselves in inspecting mores hominum multorum, in getting acquainted with all the signs and windows in the town. Some are arrived to so great a knowledge, that they can tell every time any butcher kills a calf, every time an old woman's cat is in the straw; and a thousand other matters as important. One ancient philosopher contemplates two or three hours every day over a sun-dial; and is true to the dial, As the dial to the sun, Although it be not shone upon."

only the present instant, and do not taste
even that. When one of this order hap-
pens to be a man of fortune, the expense
of his time is transferred to his coach and
horses, and his life is to be measured by
their motion, not his own enjoyments or
sufferings. The chief entertainment one
of these philosophers can possibly propose
to himself, is to get a relish of dress. This,
methinks, might diversify the person he is
weary of (his own dear self) to himself. I
have known these two amusements make
one of these philosophers make a very
tolerable figure in the world; with variety
of dresses in public assemblies in town,
and quick motion of his horses out of it;
now to Bath, now to Tunbridge, then to
Newmarket, and then to London, he has
in process of time brought it to pass, that
his coach and his horses have been men-
tioned in all those places. When the loun-
gers leave an academic life, and instead of
this more elegant way of appearing in the
polite world, retire to the seats of their an-
cestors, they usually join a pack of dogs,
and employ their days in defending their
poultry from foxes; I do not know any
other method that any of this order have
ever taken to make a noise in the world;
but I shall enquire into such about this
town as have arrived at the dignity of being
loungers by the force of natural parts,
without having ever seen a university; and
send my correspondent for the embellish-
ment of his book, the names and history
of those who pass their lives without any
incidents at all; and how they shift coffee-
houses and chocolate-houses from hour to
hour, to get over the insupportable labour
R.
of doing nothing.

Our younger students are content to carry
their speculations as yet no farther than
bowling-greens, billiard-tables, and such
like places. This may serve for a sketch No. 55.] Thursday, May 3, 1711.

of my design; in which I hope I shall have
your encouragement. I am, Sir, yours.'

-Intus et in jecore ægro
Nascuntur Domini-

Pers. Sat. v. 120.

Our passions play the tyrant in our breasts. I must be so just as to observe I have forMOST of the trades, professions, and merly seen of this sect at our other univerways of living among mankind, take their sity; though not distinguished by the ap-original either from the love of pleasure or pellation which the learned historian, my correspondent, reports they bear at Cambridge. They were ever looked upon as a people that impaired themselves more by their strict application to the rules of their order, than any other students whatever. Others seldom hurt themselves any further than to gain weak eyes, and sometimes headaches; but these philosophers are seized all over with a general inability, indolence, and weariness, and a certain impatience of the place they are in, with a heaviness in removing to another.

The loungers are satisfied with being merely part of the number of mankind, without distinguishing themselves from amongst them. They may be said rather to suffer their time to pass than to spend it, without regard to the past, or prospect of the future. All they know of this life is

the fear of want. The former, when it becomes too violent, degenerates into luxury, and the latter into avarice. As these two principles of action draw different ways, Persius has given us a very humourroused out of his bed in order to be sent ous account of a young fellow who was wards overpersuaded and kept at home upon a long voyage, by Avarice, and afterby Luxury. I shall set down the pleadings of these two imaginary persons, as they are in the original, with Mr. Dryden's trans

lation of them:

Mane, piger, stertis: surge, inquit Avaritia; eja
Surge. Negas, instat, surge, inquit. Non queo. Surge.
Et quid agam? Rogitas? saperdas advehe ponto,
Castoreum, stuppas, ebenum, thus, lubrica Coa.
Tolle recens primus piper e sitiente camelo.
Verte aliquid; jura. Sed Jupiter audiet. Eheu!
Baro, regustatum digito terebrare salinum
Contentus perages, si vivere cum Jove tendis.

Jam pueris pellem succinctus, et cenophorum aptas;
Ocyus ad navem. Nil obstat quin trabe vasta
Egæun rapias, nisi solers Luxuria ante
Seductum moneat; Quo deinde insane ruis? Quo?
Quid tibi vis? Calido sub pectore mascula bilis
Intumuit, quam non extinxerit urna cicutæ ?
Tun' mare transilias? Tibi torta cannabe fulto
Cœna sit in transtro? Veientanumque rubellum
Exhalet vapida læsum pice sessilis obba?
Quid petis? Ut nummi, quos hic quincunce modesto
Nutrieras, pergant avidos sudare deunces?
Indulge genio: carpamus dulcia; nostrum est
Quod vivis; cinis, et manes, et fabula fies.

Vive memor lethi; fugit hora. Hoc quod loquor,

inde est.

En quid agis? Duplici in diversum scinderis hamo.
Hunccine, an hunc sequeris ?—'

Sat. v. 132.

Whether alone or in thy harlot's lap,
When thou wouldst take a lazy morning's nap;
Up, up, says Avarice; thou snor'st again,
Stretchest thy limbs, and yawn'st, but all in vain.
The rugged tyrant no denial takes ;

At his command th' unwilling sluggard wakes.
What must I do? he cries; What? says his lord;
Why rise, make ready, and go straight aboard;
With fish, from Euxine seas, thy vessel freight;
Flax, castor, Coan wines, the precious weight
Of pepper, and Sabean incense, take

With thy own hands, from the tir'd camel's back,
And with post-haste thy running markets make;
Be sure to turn the penny; lie and swear;
"Tis wholesome sin: but Jove, thou say'st will hear.
Swear, fool, or starve, for the dilemma's even ;
A tradesman thou! and hope to go to heav'n?
Resolv'd for sea, the slaves thy baggage pack,
Each saddled with his burden on his back:
Nothing retards thy voyage now, but he,
That soft, voluptuous prince, call'd Luxury;
And he may ask this civil question; Friend,
What dost thou make a shipboard? To what end?
Art thou of Bethlem's noble college free?

and prosperity. At such times men naturally endeavour to outshine one another in pomp and splendour, and having no fears to alarm them from abroad, indulge themselves in the enjoyment of all the pleasures they can get into their possession; which naturally produces avarice, and an immoderate pursuit after wealth and riches.

As I was humouring myself in the speculation of those two great principles of action, I could not forbear throwing my thoughts into a little kind of allegory or fable, with which I shall here present my reader.

There were two very powerful tyrants engaged in a perpetual war against each other, the name of the first was Luxury, and of the second Avarice. The aim of each of them was no less than universal monarchy over the hearts of mankind. Luxury had many generals under him, who did him great service, as Pleasure, Mirth, Pomp, and Fashion. Avarice was likewise very strong in his officers, being faithfully served by Hunger, Industry, Care, and Watchfulness: he had likewise a privy-counsellor who was always at his elbow, and whispering something or other in his ear: the name of this privy-counsellor was Poverty. As Avarice con

Stark, staring mad, that thou would'st tempt the sea? ducted himself by the counsels of Poverty,

Cubb'd in a cabin, on a matrass laid,

On a brown George, with lousy swabbers fed;
Dead wine, that stinks of the Borachio, sup
From a fowl jack, or greasy maple cup?

Say would'st thou bear all this, to raise thy store,
From six i' th' hundred to six hundred more?
-Indulge, and to thy genius freely give;
For, not to live at ease, is not to live.
Death stalks behind thee, and each flying hour
Does some loose remnant of thy life devour.
Live, while thou liv'st; for death will make us all
A name, a nothing but an old wife's tale.
Speak wilt thou Avarice or Pleasure choose
To be thy lord? Take one, and one refuse.'

his antagonist was entirely guided by the dictates and advice of Plenty, who was his first counsellor and minister of state, that concerted all his measures for him, and never departed out of his sight. While these two great rivals were thus contending for empire, their conquests were very various. Luxury got possession of one heart, and Avarice of another. The father of a family would often range himself under the banners of Avarice, and the son The wife and the When a government flourishes in con- under those of Luxury. quests, and is secure from foreign attacks, husband would often declare themselves it naturally falls into all the pleasures of on the two different parties: nay, the same luxury; and as these pleasures are very person would very often side with one in expensive, they put those who are ad- his youth, and revolt to the other in his old dicted to them upon raising fresh supplies age. Indeed the wise men of the world of money, by all the methods of rapacious- stood neuter; but alas! their numbers were ness and corruption; so that avarice and not considerable. At length, when these luxury very often become one complicated two potentates had wearied themselves with principle of action, in those whose hearts waging war upon one another, they agreed are wholly set upon ease, magnificence, upon an interview, at which neither of and pleasure. The most elegant and cor- their counsellors were to be present. It is rect of all the Latin historians observes, said that Luxury began the parley, and afthat in his time, when the most formidable ter having represented the endless state of states of the world were subdued by the Ro- war in which they were engaged, told his mans, the republic sunk into those two vices enemy, with a frankness of heart which is of a quite different nature, luxury and ava-natural to him, that he believed they two rice:* and accordingly describes Catiline as one who coveted the wealth of other men, at the same time that he squandered away This observation on the commonwealth, when it was in its height of power and riches, holds good of all governments that are settled in a state of ease

his own.

* Alieni appetens, sui profusus.-Sal.

should be very good friends were in not for the instigations of Poverty, that pernicious counsellor, who made an ill use of his ear, and filled him with groundless apprehensions and prejudices. To this Avarice replied, that he looked upon Plenty (the first minister of his antagonist) to be a much more destructive counsellor than Poverty, for that he was perpetually suggesting

pleasures, banishing all the necessary cau- | friend of mine, whom I have formerly mentions against want, and consequently un- tioned, prevailed upon one of the interpredermining those principles on which the ters of the Indian kings, to inquire of them, government of Avarice was founded. At if possible, what tradition they have among last, in order to an accommodation, they them of this matter: which, as well as he agreed upon this preliminary; that each of could learn by many questions which he them should immediately dismiss his privy- asked them at several times, was in subcounsellor. When things were thus far stance as follows:adjusted towards a peace, all other differences were soon accommodated, insomuch that for the future they resolved to live as good friends and confederates, and to share between them whatever conquests were made on either side. For this reason, we now find Luxury and Avarice taking possession of the same heart, and dividing the same person between them. To which I shall only add, that since the discarding of the counsellors above-mentioned, Avarice supplies Luxury in the room of Plenty, as Luxury prompts Avarice in the place of Poverty.

No. 56.] Friday, May 4, 1711.

Felices errore suo.

C.

Lucan, i. 454.

The visionary, whose name was Marraton, after having travelled for a long space under a hollow mountain, arrived at length on the confines of this world of spirits, but could not enter it by reason of a thick forest made up of bushes, brambles, and pointed thorns, so perplexed and interwoven with one another, that it was impossible to find a passage through it. Whilst he was looking about for some track or pathway that might be worn in any part of it, he saw a huge lion crouched under the side of it, who kept his eye upon him in the same posture as when he watches for his prey. The Indian immediately started back, whilst the lion rose with a spring, and leaped towards him. Being wholly destitute of all other weapons, he stooped down to take up a huge stone in his hand; but to his infinite surprise grasped nothing, and found the supposed stone to be only the apparition of one. If he was disappointed on this side, he was as much pleased on the other, when he found the lion, which had seized on his left shoulder, had no power to hurt him, and was only the ghost of that ravenous creature which it appeared to be. He no sooner got rid of this impotent enemy, but he marched up to the wood, and after having surveyed it for some time, endeavoured to press into one part of it that was a little thinner than the rest; when again, to his great surprise, he found the bushes made no resistance, but that he walked through briars and brambles with the same ease as through the open air; and in short, that the whole wood was nothing else but a wood of shades. He immediately concluded, that this huge thicket of thorns and brakes was designed as a kind of fence or quickset hedge to the ghosts it enclosed; and that probably their soft substances might be torn by these subtle points and prickles, which were too weak to make any impressions in flesh and blood. With this thought he resolved to travel through this intricate wood; when by degrees he felt a gale of perfumes breathing upon him, that grew stronger and sweeter in proportion as he advanced. He had not proceeded much further, when he observed the thorns and briers to end, and gave place to a thousand beautiful green trees covered_with blossoms of the finest scents and colours, There is a tradition among the Ameri- that formed a wilderness of sweets, and cans, that one of their countrymen de- were a kind of lining to those ragged scenes scended in a vision to the great repository which he had before passed through. As of souls, or, as we call it here, to the other he was coming out of this delightful part world; and that upon his return he gave of the wood, and entering upon the plains his friends a distinct account of every thing it enclosed, he saw several horsemen rushhe saw among those regions of the dead. Aing by him, and a little while after he heard

Happy in their mistake. THE Americans believe that all creatures have souls, not only men and women, but brutes, vegetables, nay, even the most inanimate things, as stocks and stones. They believe the same of all the works of art, as of knives, boats, looking-glasses; and that as any of these things perish, their souls go into another world, which is inhabited by the ghosts of men and women. For this reason they always place by the corpse of their dead friend a bow and arrows, that he may make use of the souls of them in the other world, as he did of their wooden bodies in this. How absurd soever such an opinion as this may appear, our European philosophers have maintained several notions altogether as improbable. Some of Plato's followers in particular, when they talk of the world of ideas, entertain us with substances and beings no less extravagant and chimerical. Many Aristotelians have likewise spoken as unintelligibly of their substantial forms. I shall only instance Albertus Magnus, who, in his dissertation upon the load-stone, observing that fire will destroy its magnetic virtues, tells us that he took particular notice of one as it lay glowing amidst a heap of burning coals, and that he perceived a certain blue vapour to arise from it, which he believed might be the substantial form, that is in our West Indian phrase, the soul of the loadstone.